I brightly smile at everyone as they greet me and asks about the bride who is in the brides room. I stay with my cousin Farrah who looks more comfortable and unbothered than me who is time to time looking around to see if my cousins or any other boys from the groom side is near us.
Everybody cheers loudly when the grooms car park and my cheeks are hurting from grinning widely. I stay in the corner while admiring ammi and abbu who is happily welcoming their soon to be son in law Ayaan Yusuf khan. The name itself looks like he is some hefty man.
Well, he is, from looks and from books.
His name is all over the magazine for being the most successful entrepreneur in such a young age, he is just 25 and in that age there are many people who is sleeping in their home, doing nothing but annoying their parents.
From the way I am keenly noticing everything I can tell he does not smile a-lot but there is a guy standing beside him who is grinning happily as if it is his wedding.
My soon to be brother in law gives ammi a smile when she jokes something which made everyone laugh and from the way everyone our laughing I can tell it's not some lame joke, I am not able to hear but I am already grinning and giggling to myself for no reason.
Gosh I so want to go there and tell bro it's your marriage you can laugh, nobody is gonna judge you if you laugh. But I don't even have guts to make myself visible, how am I even in the world gonna say so many things.
But one thing I am sure of is he is just like Zaina, perfect, both are boring.
When I was having a nice view from afar Ammi thought this is the right time to introduce me to the groom in front of everyone.
"Kinza!! Come here" I click my tongue so near to yell at her in frustration but gulp down my hot blood. I squeeze my hands together as I walk towards Ammi who is grinning at me as if she is proud of yelling my name in front of everyone--okay in front boys!!
When I am near her she quickly pulls me by my wrist and wraps her arms around my shoulder to push me in the front, my eyes all the time on the clean floor which is gonna be dirtied by the kids in few minutes for sure.
I use all my energy to stand still so Ammi does not push me to the front, my cheeks hitting up when I see everyone looking at me with interest, lets not talk about my poor heart which is being tortured nonstop because of this cruel people.
"Introduce yourself darling?" If I was not in this situation my eyes would have balled out after hearing Ammi calling me Darling but I am not sane nor my heart and body is so I just repeat the three words in my mind multiple time just so I do not stutter and make a fool of my self 'I am Kinza Ahmad, I am kinza Ahmad, I am Kinza Ahmad' good now just let it out loudly.
"I-I-I" go dump yourself in the mud rather than standing here and embarrassing yourself "I-I am Kinza Ahmad and yeah I am Kinza" I nervously laugh but feel proud after completing a sentence in front of a boy—he is not a boy, he is a Man. But still same gender!
"She is little shy" Mamma laughs and I can clearly tell it's fake "Kinza don't be shy my girl, Ayan is gonna be your brother-in-law soon darling" I nod feeling awkward but take a peek at the overly handsome guy only to feel my heart skipping when our eyes meet.
In no second I look down squeezing my finger and chewing my inner cheeks I stand there all flustered in a good way, not in a bad way guys. Do not at all spam me with 'it's wrong to blush while looking at your brother in law, he is your sister's husband have some shame, don't be a wrecker and all cause I think when Allah created me he pressed the button of getting shy and flustered without any reason on high so even if a girl passing by tells me my dress is nice I get all flustered that doesn't mean I am lesbian so please.
"Okay, Kinza go to your sister and check if she is ready. We will start the nikkah in few" Allah your the best, you always prove me that. I mentally give a flying kiss to my Allah who saved me from this toxic place and I with a nod I rush away towards the Brides room.
While standing in the corridor I breathe out to calm my raising heart but hear loud laughs from behind "gosh, Kinza your too much, he is just your sisters gonna be soon husband and your having an anxiety attack here" my rude but sweet cousin laughs at my misery and I only give her a push feeling embarrassed.
"Let's go to the bride she must be alone, she must be going through an anxiety attack more than you" she like always speaks maturely and I nod but follow her.
She being the obedient kid knocks twice waiting for her answer and I lean back on the wall feeling bored. "Just go in" I roll my eye when she chuckled but shakes her head, by the way Farrah is my mom's sister's daughter she is elder than me, and she is engaged. And after being engaged she acts like a mature kid even though she is a mature kid whereas I am a dumbest kid when there is some mature talks are happening. Well, I am innocent I do not understand double meaning talks very easily.
"Yah Zaina open the door!! You will cry later!!" I yell so the girl can open the door but no response, gosh did she die after seeing that Ayaan dude? Hey there is a big window in her room and I know my sis is not that religious and obedient that she will sit in her place without being curious of what's going on or how her soon to be husband looks.
When she does not open the door, I loose my left out patience "Farrah, I am opening the door, she is a girl so am I, I won't see anything different if she is getting ready which she is already" I ignore my cousins but twist the door knob to open only to fall upon an empty room filled with silence.
"Huh? Zaina?" I walk in as I look for my sister who is not in the room, I last remember this room being the bride's room. I quickly pick my heavy lehenga up and rush towards the bathroom to knock it "Zaina??" My eyebrows furrowed up and unknown feeling of fear rushes through my viens.
I do not wait more but open the bathroom door only to find it empty and clean "W-Where did she go?" My heart is thumping in my chest as worst scenarios are erupting my mind.
"Kinza calm down she must in some other room, stop getting scared" I nod at farrah who is trying to keep me positive so we both rush out to check the other room.
I open every room, every door to see if my sister is there only to find it all empty clean, tears are threatening fall but I do not want to believe on what my sister must have done. Did she leave us? Did she really just ran away on her wedding day?
She had to be kidding me!
How can she do that? No she can't do that to us to ammi abbu, right?
"Farrah" I look at her with hope but she shakes her head, her eyes are glistens from worry, I stumble back when Zaina's words, the distressed look on her face and everything flashes in the back of my head. I run towards the bride room just incase if she is there, just incase I didn't check properly.
I open the door wide but only fall upon dangerous silence and emptiness "Kinza?" Farrah breathes fully shocked and taken back by my sister's sudden disappearance.
With my trembling step I walk towards the dressing table but a message on my phone stops me. My heart wants to ignore it but my mind is screaming to check it out, must be Zaina who is informing me that she is in the other room.
Yeah.
I gulp the lump formed in my throat before unlocking my phone my heart flips and thumps when I see Zaina's message. I hurry to open the message only to fall upon a simple text.
-Zaina: I am sorry Kinza I am sorry, Please Take care of Ammi Abbu.
What the actual heck does she think she is doing?
My heart stops and I don't even understand what is happening for a second my heart stops and tears are non stop leaving my eyes.
Farrah beside me gasps loudly and I stumble falling back if not the bed I would've been on the floor, thoughts of Abbu Ammi being Humiliated dread's me like a worst nightmare.
She can't do this to us, she can't do this to her parents. Farrah cries rubbing my back and hurries to bring a glass of water when she sees me in the verge of fainting.
"Kinza drink this, look at me" cupping my face she shakes my shoulder but I am lost, I don't even understand what is going on.
She agreed to this wedding without any pressure why would she even run away?!
Why did she run in the first place?
"Kinza!!" Farrah yells to wake me up "huh? I farrah what is happening? What will I say to Ammi? Abbu will get a heart attack if he hears this...he—he is already a heart patient no-no we should bring her back she cant do this to us" I shake my head to myself dialling her number with my trembling hand.
"The number you are dialing is currently not awailable" No what is she trying to do? She knows clearly how high Abbu's pride is, how can she crush his pride in one go?
She has only one problem that was her studies but her in laws where okay with her studying.
My heart falls down my stomach when Ammi's voice was heard "Kinza what did I say you to—" she stops and a worried frown quickly makes its way on her forehead "Ya allah why are crying where is Zaina?" She rushes towards me and I an already sobbing loudly at her worried figure "where is Zaina? Kinza?" She again questions me but when I do not answer she rushes towards the bathroom only to come back with a worried look.
She crouches down my weak figure "Kinza where is your sister?" I don't know ammi I don't know "Kinza I am talking to you!!" I flinch when she yells and shakes me by my shoulder. I open my eyes to look at her with my teary orbs "I-I don't-don't know ammi" I sob but give her my phone where she can read Zaina's message.
A loud gasp leaves her lips and she quickly stumbles and sits down "Aunty!" Farrah holds her before she hurts herself "What does this message mean?" He own voice trembling and my heart is ripping apart at her vulnerable "Aunty we searched everywhere every single room but-" farrah speaks but doesn't complete her sentence.
"She can't do this to us...she can not leave us like this, Ahmad, she cannot humiliate her abbu like this...how—how can she" she stutters but speaks between her silence cries.
After a long silence Ammi speaks "Farrah call Kinza's Abbu " Kinza's Abbu—she always frames Abbu as Zaina's Abbu or else with his name but never as Kinza's Abbu, and that small line breaks my heart into pieces.
..........