*⚠️ Trigger Warning: Sensitive topics will be discussed such as stalking, harassing, threatening, self-harm, obscene language, depression, child abuse, murder, blood and gore, graphic description of said material. Reader discretion is advised. ⚠️
A/N: If you pushed past the warning, I hope you enjoy this story. 😘
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Your POV:
People compare beautiful people to objects that hold beauty...
Such as a flower...
But if you knew any better,
Beautiful people are like dandelions...
They are the 'exceptional weeds' out of the rest, that can live and get whatever they want from others...
And leave them dry the next day...
As if they were a parasite, and took only the parts of people they needed and left them broken.
Now why do I say such a thing?
It's because it's happened to that woman who birthed me...
I don't call her mama anymore
Since she lost that title years ago
Yet I fell for the same curse that broke her too.
In fact, whenever I saw a picture of that mothafucka,
I'm reminded of how much he's a heartthrob that most would fall for
And one day, the wind blew him away
Since he is a dandelion
An exceptional weed
And I trusted him foolishly
And he spread himself around
And that's the end of it
Yet I can get over him
My dandelion
I'll make you feel for me again
This time I won't let go
_________________________________
As of today, I have lived three years independently. And I have to say I'm proud that I made a name for myself instead of that woman, forcing me to provide for her, to take care of her, to clean up after her mess and waste my childhood having no one to rely on.
At that time, things were difficult, at home, I quit school at eleven to work in order to provide for my mom and I.
It wasn't until a young boy my age, probably 15, he looked ethereal as he approached me, "Hey, do you want to help me pick flowers for my mom? I need extra hands. I promise I'll give you something in return."
I looked at that boy that time and I don't know why I said what I said.
"Promise me..."
"Huh?" He responds with his eyebrows lifted and eyes pop out.
"Just promise with me." I gave out my hand and he took out his and he was about to take out his pinky before I stop him. "No not like that," I grab his hand and took out his thumb and I press it right between my eyebrows. And I did the same to him with my thumb, sealing the promise like a letter stamp.
"Wha- what was that?" He asked weirded out by my method.
"It's the fate of us. A promise done by pushing it through your head." He chuckles as I add on, "Now promise me that you won't break yours, okay?"
"Okay," he said.
I knew he would call me weird from the way I promise, but what I said next will jeopardize our new alliance.
"If you don't get a girlfriend by the time you turn 20, then you should promise me that you'll go out with me," I said.
I don't know why I said that? Maybe it's desperation. Maybe it's to tease him and see his startled expression.
"Uh... I did just uh huh... I did so that means I have promised you. If I'm 20 and I don't have a girlfriend, I'm yours... that's a lot um-"
"__________, you're name possible hubby."
"Wow..." he fumbled, "Jung Hoseok. But call me Hobi."
"Okay," and he took my hand to gather lovely flowers he needs for his mom.
His mom was sick. Sick with a disease no one can see at first sight. Doctors have done everything they could to treat her and relax her during her episodes.
It was a difficult time for my Hobi. He dealt with it through an indigestible smile. It was worse than crying and shouting, which I've wanted him to do in front of me...
But he always kept that side of himself hidden away.
Yet I watch him be vulnerable from afar as I don't want to see him pretend. But it gives me security knowing how he is, where he is, and just knowing him...
Is unlike any other experience my life had to offer.
It was as though this gave me a sense of purpose... a sense of worth to be living.
Even though I promised him, I don't know if he's taken it seriously. I see him mingling around other crowds- crowds of different people- and I fear he will love someone else other than me.
And one day that came to be true.
"Elia! You're here babe!" He kissed her cheek and it felt like a slap on mine's.
How dare she enter this moment?! How dare she claim my Hobi as hers?
And I see them, crumbling my heart to dust, when the meld their lips together.
I should've known any man would want to have a beautiful woman besides them... I'm too ugly for him.
Still my feelings keep pushing my feet forward to meet Hobi. Even if it hurts whenever she was around more often and they would cuddle, kiss, display PDA in front of others, I'd just want to rip every single bit of her, shred her, break her until she isn't the 'Elia' Hobi will love.
I will show her, love requires crazy to win.
I took out all the anger I had on that woman onto Hobi's 'ex'.
I marked it on the sweet spot I'd always see Hobi kissing.
Too bad he won't be doing that anymore with her.
I looked at her corpse, several scarred cuts, blood gushing out, as I've added an anti-coagulant in her system, and her body slowly turning into a sick pale-bluegreen...
She's getting close to death.
I gush out my knife and dig in for another deep cut on her left calf, and blood kept pouring out.
I cut her up even more.
He used you to make sure he's perfect with me.
More cuts on her... the blood pooled down on the plastic tarp below.
My cover-up, big male size shoes, just was soaked with the blood.
Including the socks. Which I have to burn all the evidence, first by chopping her up, bit by bit, take her teeth, mandible, her nails, her hair...
Everything that added to her beauty... including those piercing hazel-brown eyes.
I stopped my madness from going and I hold my head...
Intrusive thoughts zoom in the moment. That woman and what she made me go through, these memories flow uninterrupted.
Flashback:
"Honey! Honey! Please don't leave me! Please!" She cried as she begged the man who she slept with to stay.
"Leave me alone woman! We were just in for one-night! I'm not the type of man to commit for family. So leave me ALONE!" I hear him boom so loud. Those words: "So leave me alone", I wished I could do the same to that woman.
I was five.
"Clean this all up! And make sure that when I come back everything in this house is spotless! If not, you won't even get a bite to eat tonight like last night, when I saw a dark spot on the floor! GET IT?!"
I simply nodded to her outburst. It was normal for this to happen. I could never say a word against her. I cleaned up the place, making sure everything's tidy and neat, sparkling floors and ceilings and all books and cranny were taken care of by me.
While in the other hand, that woman, would throw herself on any man that passed by her, rich men in particular, hoping to be rescued but all she gets is a few bucks and trash sex.
And I won't be able to sleep properly on those nights.
As soon as I was finished, I fell to the floor, exhausted and slept.
I was eight.
"Now, since you've been managing the house on your own, that won't be enough! Since there's no man in my house, you will have to do! Go get a job and provide for me! As soon as I get a man, one that's so rich, you won't have to do anything anymore. It'll all be on him to take care of us!"
I saw her stroll out, jumping with her heels on, and she turned around to excitedly yelled "You got that! Get that Jack, while I go find mine's!"
I worked tireless nights scrubbing floors, more toilets, waiting tables, painting rooms, babysitting, selling off my valuables... all just so that woman can get what she wants.
I was 11.
And it was at 12 when I had it up with her and moved out.
It was hard, but once I adjusted and settled myself in a place that was quite well suited for me, I was content.
And it wasn't until I met my Hobi,l three years later, did I become happier with my existence.
Present:
I chopped her up, starting and place her flesh on the bonfire I set up outside previously.
The smell was horrible as my black gloves, shovel through blood and other liquids, as I grip her dripping parts and see the fire cook it.
I see her skin scored, the pale flesh rotting darker and eventually it all turned to black dust. Ash. And all that's left is bone white hiding in the scorched rubble.
I took up the remaining bones, including the mandible, teeth, and and I grinded them up by using an industrial equipment in an abandoned factory warehouse, and I see the process of pulverization.
I watch her bones turn to sawdust.
As I collected the ash and bone dust, in an urn, I place it in my car, which I also destroy with 'my body' as well.
That woman's death finally did something for me.
And no I didn't kill her, she died two days ago.
And I didn't bother until now, when neighbors complained about the smell coming from my mom's cheap apartment space.
What perfect timing.
I dispose the other remaining evidence into a Tupperware box and I drive to finally execute my plan.
I plan on dumping her ashes far away from the city, into a remote lake where no visits and I'll drive far away to launch this car into another lake.
Once I arrived, crossing a certain boundary, I realized that the evidence needs to be destroyed as well.
So then I planned on stopping nearby a gas station to pick up a gallon and some snacks.
And before I go inside I knew it was best to change my outfit into something more fitting.
"That'll be $24.37," the cashier ends I pay with my card and take my items outside with me.
Just a bit further from the gas station where there's no one for miles, I took out the evidence inside,
my lighter, some leftover bonfire wood, and the gas tank.
I set up the kindling and as soon as I put in the items, I splashed just enough gas and the flames burst crazily.
"Hey you! What are you doing here?!" A man yelled and I was smart enough to quickly wear my covering.
"Sorrryy... sir. I was just burning my ex's gifts," I played along and the man just looked over to see what I was burning and laughed, "Well getting your significant other a shower curtain, much less one that ugly is a horrible gift."
I played along with the story. "Absolutely, so I'm sorry about that, I'll keep the fire to a minimum."
"Well, just be careful. I know how it hurts to be heartbroken, but on the brighter side, you'll experience better, if not greater love."
I scrunch up the fabric of my hoodie as I heard him say that. I feel horrible.
"We'll take care missy."
"Take care sir." I end and watch him leave the area.
I wiped the tears on my cheek and kept on controlling the fire to burn up the material, the remaining unburned, can just stay there.
After all, I must admit fault for killing an innocent soul like Elia.
I continue driving, far enough to find another lake, the sun was up and I'm tied, but that's what happens when you do something as grave as murder...
You have to be prepared for the worst to happen.
I halt my car and I take out the blood packets I've prepared and splattered it all across the car.
Not carrying about the clothes I'm currently wearing, while the clothes I had used to murder Elia was burns over with the evidence.
Just that man didn't see that.
And the blood splattered look just right. A few droplets here and there and a gallons dumped on my mom.
I also removed her essentials too when I did Elia's as well.
For now, that shall do it.
Time to plunge this car in.
I reversed my car and I made sure to not put on my seatbelt...
I drove fast and I somehow managed to open the door and jump out of the car just in time as it sinks into the water.
Mission accomplished.
Even though I did kill Elia, maybe the car having prove that I killed Elia and myself- I've made prior arrangements.
To change my name. To change my fate. To change myself.
Anything if it means to have Hobi smile at me.
5 years later...
Hobi's POV:
It has been five years. Five years.
I'm 20. Elia would've been 23.
And as for my ex-friend she also died. And although I'm sad she's gone, as a friend who was there for me, I'm upset that the police told me that she was the one who had possibly killed Elia.
During investigation, the police did some digging up and found the sites the killer had burned and mutilated evidence of Elia and oddly enough they found ________'s car recently.
In an abandoned lake, where much of the stuff was gone, but there were traces of Elia's blood and other DNA in her car.
Yet I couldn't believe it. She's gone but that doesn't mean she's the one who killed Elia?
Right?!
Even though my mind rationalizes, inside I can't help but feel that there's some weight to it.
Maybe she's not the girl I know anymore.
I walk towards Elia's grave site that her family, my family and I and a few good friends had joined together to build in honor of her.
I set the flowers down and the picnic basket close by on the ground.
"I had a boring day as usual. It would be wise to say that I should quit my job and pursue my dreams. But other than that, I have your favorites here," I waved the packed Tupperware of dishes my mom made for me.
I'm glad she did that, knowing how much I've cared for Elia and she loved her too.
"Here," I set it down and open it up for her, "It delicious right?"
I chuckled in response to the cold silence, "Then, let's eat!" I shout out loud to where a woman, I thought she was familiar, turned around and said, "Are you eating alone with the spirits? It's not safe to do that."
I was taken a back and when I tried looking closer at her, I couldn't point my finger as to why she felt like someone I used to know.
"Who are you?" I asked to which she throws in a charming smile and perks her lips to greet herself, "I'm Han Chun-ja."
"Likewise. Jung Hoseok," and I see her sit down besides me and I can't help but find her adorable. Weird yes but adorable.
She reminds me of _________.
But she's gone right?
She takes a bite of the food without my permission and I should get mad, but the way she joked around and goofed off made me smile for the first time in years.
I look up at the sky, with thoughts raining down heavy and this tension with this stranger doesn't help.
Elia, I'll still be here until I reach you there, but is it okay if I move on?
Your POV:
I came back as a changed person. I worked hard on myself. I worked hard just for you.
Sculpted my body for his fingers to compose their touch on my skin...
Give me kisses til your lips chap
Squeeze me til my skin tears blood
And stay with me Hobi
I promise you with love you deserve... after five painful years without meeting you and watching you grieve for Elia...
I couldn't help myself once and for all with you sitting right in front of me for the first time happily opening up to a stranger named Han Chun-ja.
Even if you hate the real me...
I've already killed that woman years ago just to get to you.
And I won't let go.
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A/N: I planned on this for a while, rewriting certain versions and I know this one I'll probably go back and redo everything again. But I'm gonna publish it for now!