Bright lights blind me.
I turn my face to the right and make eye contact with my best friend Cora. We share a quick smile before turning back to the front.
Cora and I met on our first day of kindergarten. She held on to her mom, crying to go home. I approached her and told her she could come with me until her mom came to pick her up.
After that we sort of became inseparable.
It was a good thing especially after my parents shit show of a divorce.
The whole thing was gradual and then all at once. Like a bomb slowly ticking away before it explodes.
See my parents were always fighting. My dad was out cheating on my mom, my mom coped by drinking her pain away.
He would come home to find her drunk and would go out and sleep with another woman. It was an endless cycle.
Until one day I came home from school to find my mom crying on the kitchen floor.
Turns out my dad had gotten some woman pregnant and decided to pack up and leave.
We were nothing to him now. I haven't seen him since he left six years ago. I was only eleven then.
When my mom realized he was never returning her drinking got worse. You couldn't pry the bottle out of her hands, trust me I tried.
I have a scar on my arm to prove it.
She started to disappear sometimes and I liked it when she was gone. Because if she came back she was either drunk and miserable or drunk with some man she found wherever she goes.
The men never touched me, it didn't stop their creepy looks though.
That's sort of the reason I spend most of my time with Cora's family, besides her brother Alex it's probably the best place to be.
My mom never notices and if she does she's too drunk to care.
Hearing the crowd cheer brings me back to reality.
Currently I am hoisted up, standing on one foot like a flamingo. The crowd goes wild as I am throw into the air.
I am a cheerleader and so is my friend Cora.
The two of us have been cheering for our high school since we were freshman.
Cora dragged me along to try out and I ended up loving it.
Cheering made me feel free, especially when I was up in the air.
The free fall of not knowing whether they would catch me or not.
Most people would be terrified, I loved the thrill.
What would happen if they didn't catch me?
Would anyone care if I was hurt? Would my mom or dad?
Probably not, hell I don't even care.
Life has been an endless cycle of pain.
The only family who ever actually loved me, my aunt Lorrie who passed away three years ago.
Fucking cancer.
I feel myself being set back on the ground. The gravel from the track crunching beneath my cheer shoes.
Looking out at the score board I see we are leading.
This is my schools first football game of the season. I watch as our team steals the ball.
Cheering with the rest of the team and crowd, I shake my pom poms together before raising one in the air.
"Let's go Lions, let's go." We chant, my chestnut brown hair skims my shoulder blades where the pony tail ends.
If I were to take it down my hair would fall to my mid back.
"Go number twelve." Cora squeals from beside me, her blonde hair is in a half up half down.
She is currently cheering extra hard for her boyfriend Landon.
They've been together since freshman year, we're juniors now.
Sometimes I see the way Landon look at her or the way she looks at Landon and I wonder how it would feel to be in love like that.
"Come on it's half time." Cora says grabbing my hand.
It's time of the halftime performance.
Our captain Naomi came up with the routine. For the football players enjoyment mostly.
She's been trying to get into the quarterback Michael's pants ever since he transferred to our school last year.
It's really painful to witness her try and seduce him. Especially when all the signs point to not interested.
I mean I think some of the signs could've been missed but the one that happened this past Wednesday, I think she's just choosing to ignore them.
See she had gone up to him in our English class and asked if he wanted to come over to his place and 'study' he straight up told her he was going to be with his boyfriend that day.
She had just laughed told him he was funny and walked away.
I thought that would be the end of her trying to get with him until she told us what routine we were doing.
How is this choreography school approved? Probably because our principle is a perv.
The song comes on and we do the routine. The guys from the team holler like we're strippers performing for them.
I want to barf.
At least strippers get paid, all I get is creeps winking at me and asking what I have going on under the cheer uniform.
The song and routine might end but the disgust crawling up my skin doesn't.
I know I should quit but I just can't. Besides the halftime routines cheering really is fun for me.
By the end of the game our school had won. No one thought they wouldn't win, with Michael on the team we were practically unbeatable.
Cora and I get our things from the locker room and she drives us back to her house.
This was one of the times my mom was home and I knew it. If I knew it I could hopefully avoid her.
Cora's house is one of those houses you see in tv shows.
The simple two story houses with a little porch in the front.
We pull up into the driveway and she turns off the car.
"Oh by the way Toby is here." She says and I groan.
Having to deal with Alex is bad enough. Having to deal with both him and Toby is a nightmare.
Especially with Alex's hate streak against me.
I honestly never knew what I did to make Alex hate me so much, it wasn't always like that.
He's only a grade above us so we were close in age.
I came over all the time when we were younger and he was nice to me. He even sat with me in the tree house the day I found out my dad left.
He had promised that if I ever needed anyone he would be there for me.
That all changed though once I started high school.
I never knew what changed but he decided I wasn't good enough for him I guess.
It was the second week of school and I found my mom riding some man on the couch. To say I was horrified would be an understatement.
Alex never knew what was going on at home and I never told him. He just knew that I needed someone to just sit with me.
I had gone straight to his house and went up to his room.
He looked at me like I was a stranger and told me to get out, that I was just Cora's friend not his.
I know it shouldn't have hurt me as bad as it did.
After that he and his friend Toby looked and talked to me like I was trash and nothing more.
We head upstairs and the moment we pass Alex's room I hear wolf whistles.
"Did they make the uniforms shorter or are you just filling out Olivia?" Toby asks making my insides knot up.
Like I said I could handle Alex. He never talked to me like a piece of meat, not like Toby did.
He always found a way to make me uncomfortable in my own skin.
Pulling down my cheer skirt I continue the walk two doors down to Cora's room.
"They're fucking pigs." Cora grumbles as we step inside of her room.
I turn to look at her, my pony tail wiping my face.
"Toby just wants a reaction out of me and he's not going to get it." I say truthfully.
I have played his game before. It always ends with me in tears and him laughing at me.
Having insecurities is even harder when someone points them out all the time.
"Well I think we should forget about those losers because this year is going to be memorable. We are going to go to parties and I signed us up for the spring break trip to Europe." Cora says as she removes the elastic from her hair.
I untie my shoes placing them by my cheer bag.
"You did without telling me?" I ask cocking an eyebrow.
Of course I want to go but Cora always puts out the initiative. She never lets me have any wiggle room to back out of things.
She rolls her eyes as her blonde hair falls over her shoulders, "I am telling you now aren't I? Now comes get this stupid zipper." She tugs at the zipper but it doesn't give.
Standing I walk over to her and unzip her top.
"Can you get mine?" I ask turning around and she unzips it.
I take it off followed by my bra and go into my bag to grab a shirt.
Cora and I have been changing in front of each other since we were five, it's just normal for us.
My skirt follows and I grab a pair of shorts from my bag.
Slipping them on I sit down on Cora's bed before releasing my hair from the head splitting pony tail.
As I run my fingers through my hair Cora sighs.
"Why did I get stuck with small boobs? It's unfair really." She says and I laugh.
"Girl shut up your boobs are fine."
She turns away from the mirror and looks at me.
"Says the girl with perfectly shaped c cups." She says and I can't argue with her.
I was blessed with nice boobs at least the universe gave me something.
"Sweetie why are you suddenly worried about your boobs?" I ask.
Cora was anything but self conscious. She was gorgeous and she knew it.
Her long blonde hair that looks like it was spun from gold. She has these bright blue eyes that even rival Ian Somerholders.
She shrugs, "Landon just never seems interested in them, thats all."
"Don't let a stupid boy make you feel bad about yourself." I say.
She snorts, "You should take your own advice."
"I didnt say anything when Toby made his crude comment earlier." I defend.
Cora pulls back the covers before climbing into bed.
"That doesn't mean I didn't catch you hiking down your skirt. If you were truly unaffected you would've left it as it was." She says and once again I can't argue with her.
I groan, "I hate men."
"Same, you know I saw this video today of this guy trying to justify why so many guys can't take rejection. He said it's because men are programed to be the dominant and when women try to be dominant it messes up the balance. What the fuck does that even mean?" She asks and I look over at her.
We burst out laughing.
There is a knock on the door before it opens.
"Would you two shut up some of us are trying to sleep." Alex says his eyes narrowing at me.
Asshole.
One thing to know about Alex is he likes to go to sleep early. He's been like that since I met him and I was never quite sure why he felt it was necessary to go to bed before eleven p.m.
"Would you leave?" Cora asks and I shush her, "You can't assert dominance remember it throws off the balance."
Cora nods, "Oh yeah."
Then we start laughing again
"What the hell are you two smoking?" He asks looking between us.
I shrug, propping myself up onto my elbows. "Whatever was hidden in your underwear drawer. You know that is such a cliche place to store things Alexander." I say and his frown deepens.
He hates being called Alexander. I love that he hates it so I call him that all the time.
"You two idiots raided my stash?" He asks and I think I see some smoke coming out of his ears.
No we hadn't raided his underwear drawer for weed. Actually it was just a guess I didnt think he would be that dumb to put it there.
"God you are so gullible. No don't worry we didn't go near your drugs." I say honestly.
His shoulders seem to loosen.
"Well whatever, you two are so fucking loud I'm surprised you guys didn't wake mom and dad."
Cora rolls her eyes, "They sleep like the dead."
It was true her parents could sleep through anything.
He stands there for a moment his deep blue eyes locked with mine. An unfamiliar emotion swirls in them and I squirm feeling uncomfortable.
I quirk an eyebrow, "You plan on joining the slumber party? The bed is full but you can sleep on the floor."
Whatever trance he was in breaks and he glares at me.
Without another word he turns around and leaves the room.
"The bitch couldn't even close the door." Cora says walking over and shutting the door before coming back to bed.
We lay there in silence for a while before Cora speaks up.
"Are you going home this weekend?"
She doesn't know anything about what's been going on with my mom. Well actually thats a lie she know's she uses drinking to cope sometimes.
Truthfully I told her the house just feels empty without my dad and that I prefer spending time at her place. Not that she minds, Cora claims if she could, she would make me stay at her house forever.
"I'm not sure, I might on Sunday. Why?" I ask.
She shifts in the bed, "I'm going out with Landon tomorrow so you might be stuck at the house with Alex. That is if you choose to stay here."
I take in that information. It wouldn't be the first time Alex and I are alone the house together.
Normally he stays in his room and I stay in Cora's.
"I'll probably just stay in here and sleep the day away." I always sleep in the day after game nights.
"Ok." She says and I can tell she's getting tired.
I grab my phone and check Snapchat.
Everything is about the game tonight. How we won and the after party Cora and I decided not to attend.
I get to Alex's story and it's a video of him doing tricks on his skateboard at the skate park.
When he lands the trick he turns and a smile takes over his face at the fact he landed it.
Something stirs in my stomach. I know what that something is.
Alex is gorgeous in every sense of the word. There was no denying that.
I could think that while still hating his guts. Looks had nothing to do with how ugly someone was on the inside.
Once I go through everyones stories I plug my phone in before getting comfy and falling asleep.
_____
A/N I will be updating this book every Friday! It will be a little different than my other books. It's going to be longer and will definitely be recommended for ages 18+
Another thing is a big theme in this book is time. They talk a lot about how fast time goes and how much can change in a certain amount of time. It might get a little repetitive but just know it's on purpose.
With that being said if you choose to read on I hope you enjoy!
Don't forget to comment and vote :)
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