I had been dying to see Lucy all day to explain my hesitancy from last night. I had wanted to text her, but she once told me important conversations should never be done over text because tone is everything.
I shoved her from my brain as I took my design exam and once I handed my professor my paper, I immediately started obsessing again. I'm not used to having my brain consumed by one woman. I hardly give women much thought, which is shitty, I've just never had a woman I care about like I care about Lucy. I couldn't figure out why she was so angry when I confessed to wanting to kiss her for a while. She seemed eager to kiss me and then was suddenly appalled that I had wanted to kiss her too. I apparently am a jackass for wanting to be chivalrous and I never thought consent would be such a shocking ask.
Maybe she was mad that I said no and that I had wanted to wait? Maybe she thought I was letting her down gently, or she needs more time to move on from Blake? Her hot and cold attitude toward me is leaving me flummoxed and she used to be the easiest person for me to read. She used to be carefree and bubbly, wearing her emotions on her sleeve and now she seems guarded, angry and short-fused. New York made her frosty.
I feel my phone buzz and snatch it out of my pocket, hoping Lucy had decided to say something to me before I saw her at work. Gauge her attitude before I walked into something I was not ready for.
I frown when I see it's Fischer and I slide my phone open to read his text.
Fischer: Did you get it in with Lucy or what?
I roll my eyes before texting back:
Did you get it in with Stella or what?
I go to stick my phone back in my pocket but it buzzes immediately.
Fischer: No. She had an early flight.
Should have left with Ariana.
If you left with Ari, you'd have lost
any chance you had with Stella
Fischer: Ya but she could of at least given me a blowey.
Something to remember her by while she's in Oregon
I let out a laugh as I approach my car and stood at my door as I typed back-
Things went about as well for me with Lucy.
She got mad that I didn't kiss her, but she was shitfaced
Fischer: Lay that groundwork son,
you rejecting her is just gonna make her want you more.
We'll see. I am about to see her at work.
Fischer: I bet she throws herself at you when you see her.
Just watch. She wants you.
I shake my head, he really doesn't know Lucy. She doesn't throw herself at anyone. Even with Blake, she was an anxiety-riddled mess when they started texting each other. She'd wait hours to respond to him just so she didn't seem eager and then purposely miss his calls, even though her eyes were glued to his name flashing on her screen. She didn't want to appear more interested than he was and she second-guessed everything she said to him. I hope she's not doing that with the events of last night now. I do not need her dissecting every word I said to her- if she even remembers last night at all. I was thrown off by her attempt to kiss me, shocked that she had even wanted to.
I just needed to tell her how I felt, explain it all when we were sober and hope she feels the same. Or could feel the same, I'm pretty sure she friend-zoned me early on and I wanted to change that. Rejecting her was not a good way to start.
When I arrive at work I find Maggie and Missy unloading March Madness banners from the back of Missy's hatchback. Maggie flicks her wrist, signaling for me to come over, and then has me haul all of the bracket banners to the front of the bar, leaving Missy behind. As I drop the vinyl rolls onto the bartop, Maggie asks, "So did you tell your people about tomorrow night? You're coming right?"
I release a sigh before answering, "I don't know. I have no idea what time we'll be out of here tomorrow."
"Come on, you don't work on Sunday, you finished school today. Come and unwind, I'll make it worth your while," she says and then bites her cherry red lip. She reaches her hand out and tugs on the bottom of my tee. I have to create a boundary. Lucy will never take me seriously if she thinks I have something going on with Maggie.
"Um, Mag's, I should tell you..." I start and she takes a step closer to me. No one is in the back bar area yet, but I know Lucy is due any minute. "I'm kinda...I'm seeing someone." She stops in her tracks and shifts her questioning eyes from my belt buckle to my face.
"What? Since when?"
"It's something that started a while ago and was off and on and now..." I say, but I can see the flash of anger cross her face.
"Who are you seeing?" She asks bitterly as she removes her hand from my wrist and crosses her arms over her chest.
"No one you know, it's...I'm sorry Maggie. I didn't mean to lead you on, or hurt you if you thought this was something," I say, fumbling as I realize I'm actually terrified of Maggie. She can easily kick my ass with her black combat boots and her sister is equally scary. "I also love this job and don't want to complicate anything. I am sorry." She takes a step away from me but her composure is back. She sucks her teeth before saying, "No worries, Jack. I just wanted to fuck you, not marry you. We're all good." She slaps me hard on the arm and then focuses her attention on the banners.
"Go clock in, you fuck." She snaps and I have no idea if she is going to murder me now. I know I fucked up when I kissed her weeks ago and this is exactly why I never wanted to shit where I eat. Except for when it comes to Lucy. I'll shit all over that back bar.
I reach the locker room without running into anyone else and right after I clock in, I catch Lucy rounding the corner into the office, looking dazed and white as a ghost. Could she still possibly be that hungover?
"Hey Goose," I say cautiously as I take a step towards her, but she immediately puts a hand up.
"Don't Goose me," she snaps and I realize she is still angry from last night. She storms over to her locker and spins the lock aggressively.
"I'm sorry about last night, Lucy. I just...there is so much I want to say to you and I didn't feel like I should when you were drunk and on the verge of passing out," I say quickly, hoping she'll look in my direction. She shoves her purse into her locker and then looks up at me, "I'm so fucking stupid."
"What! No, Lucy. Trust me, I wanted to kiss you-" I start but she shakes her head while blinking quickly. She lets out a maniacal laugh before saying, "Who else do you want to kiss from here huh? Here I was thinking you didn't date co-workers and you're hooking up with the manager!"
I freeze. What the fuck?
"What?!" I ask in shock. "Who told you that?"
"Is it true?" She asks, her eyes telling me that she's hoping it's not. That's the thing about Lucy, her eyes convey all of her emotions, so I know she's mad even when she tries to play it cool.
"I am not hooking up with Maggie," I reply quietly, aware of the other ears that could be lurking around.
"Oh really? So, nothing happened between you two at a party a few weeks ago?" She asks and she instantly catches my hesitation. She lets out another breath of a laugh and I take a step closer to her, "Lucy, it's not-"
"That's all I needed to know," she states, cutting me off. She turns to leave the office but then stops in the doorway. Looking back at me she adds, "I have nothing to lose at this point, so I might as well just tell you that I had really wanted you to kiss me last night. I too have wanted that for years, but I don't want Maggie's sloppy seconds, so I'm out." She rounds the corner and I'm left dumbstruck in the office.