MARIANA
Axel knocked on my door early in the morning, demanding I get ready to go out. He was in his usual attire, composed and clean. However, I couldn't help but notice the dark circles under his eyes or the hoarseness of his usually polished blonde hair.
"Where are we going?" I didn't recognize the throaty voice that came out of me. Then again, it felt as though my head was being drilled and my mouth was the texture of the Sahara desert.
"The doctor's. We need to get you checked."
That was all Axel said before walking away.
I knew I was hungover from the five—not two, I lied—glasses of wine I had last night. But aside from that, I hadn't known any reason that required a visit to the doctor's.
Scrambling to my feet, I found piles of Prada boxes and paper packagings at the foot of my bed. I had no time to be surprised nor excited. After the much needed hot shower I managed to get done in under ten minutes, I went through one of the bags and found a plain black skirt and a sleeveless cream blouse. I settled for flats before bursting out the door, knowing my headache would not equate to a pair of steady feet for today.
"Why are we going to—"
"Get in the car."
I had no idea why I was receiving a cold treatment. The only reaction I was able to evince was a deep frown before I was shutting the door of Axel's car—or was it Wolff's. I really had no idea anymore. I was as lost as a blind person in a new environment.
It was only when Axel stopped and jumped out of the car did I squinted at the building we stopped by. My heart hammered in my chest as I read the letters at the top right of the bricked wall of the building: Women's Health Medical Center.
"Hold on a sec!" I shouted as my feet met the asphalt road.
Axel barely turned to acknowledge my inquisition, staring straight ahead as if he just wanted to get this over with.
"What is the matter with you?" I didn't try to tone my pitch down. "Why do I need to get checked in...in a women's medical center?"
With one heavy sigh, Axel explained, "After what happened last night, Kurt could fuck you any minute and I won't be there to stop it when it happens out of his control. We need to take precautions."
My face heated up. "Oh. You mean birth control? I—I haven't—"
"Figured as much." Axel grunted, running a hand on his jaw. "You're getting an implant, though. It's more effective. We can't risk anything. I hope you understand that, Mariana."
I gulped. "What implant?"
"It goes in your upper arm. It's supposed to release a steady dose of a progestational hormone to—" He took note of my confused expression. "Let's go inside. I'll let the doctor explain it to you."
My hands grew so clammy as I followed Axel to the clinic. I wanted to ask so much more questions, particularly why it seemed as if he knew his way here so well or why he knew about the procedure as if he had been in this position before—escorting a woman to this very clinic. Then it dawned on me, the truth that he actually had been here before, with another virgin. Possibly multiple virgins before me. I couldn't deny the way my heart wrenched inside my chest. Most of all, confusion. It sipped through the pang in my chest and settled over me like a heavy cloud, making it impossible for me to keep up with Axel's strides.
"Mariana," Axel grumbled, stopping a mere feet in front of me. "This is not the time to have second thoughts."
"I'm not, I'm just...why do I have to do this?"
He let out an exasperated sigh. "Because, Mariana, you tempted the hell out of Kurt last night and I cannot guarantee your safety by the next time he touches you."
Another layer of confusion coats my head. "Guarantee my safety? Why? You act as though he'd put me in danger during sex." I sniggered and then paused when Axel winced at my words. "Will he?" The blood drained from my face.
One stiff hand reached up to loosen his tie. Clearing his throat, he evaded my question by saying, "When he does it, he'll do it bare and he won't pull out. You need this, Mariana. Come on."
Ignoring the way my sex clenched at the details he mentioned, I asked the question that had been bothering me. "How many women have you brought here?"
"What?"
"Virgins. How many--"
"Three." He ran a hand over his face, the frown never dissipating. "There had only been three, Mariana. It was nowhere near enough and to make matters worse, the last one had been five years ago."
I would have stopped if I wasn't already frozen on my spot. "Five years ago?"
He nodded, pulling on his tie so hard he might as well remove it. For a few seconds, I just watched his throat move and his jaw tick, trying to figure out what had been weighing on him to act so out of order but then he advanced towards me so fast that all thoughts disappeared.
"Listen to me, Mariana. He needs you." I couldn't recognize the Axel towering over me, speaking at me with such urgency that made me back a few steps away. He didn't let me. He gripped my arm to keep me in place. "You need to just surrender yourself to him. Let him have you. Let him fuck you. Let him use you however he wants and whenever he wants."
Despite my pounding heart, I absorbed his words. I let them sync in no matter how confusing because there was something in his eyes that was more than desperation. It was almost like he was breaking as well; breaking the way his best friend—his brother—was breaking.
I must have been crazy. Out of my mind. Any other normal, mentally healthy person would be repulsed by what he had said—to just let Wolff take me and use me however he wanted and whenever he pleased. Instead, I felt myself shudder and my toes curl. It was so freaking confusing. Why was I not appalled by the fact that Axel was practically suggesting I be Wolff's designated sex slave?
Axel ran a hand through his hair and continued, "I want you to be safe, believe me, I do. But you have to understand that Kurt will always be my priority. I don't care if I have to strap you naked in his bed to get his cure."
Heat traveled to my face and down my neck. I wanted to say that he had no need to do that, that I'd go willingly, but the thing was, I knew I wanted Wolff. I agreed to give him my virginity, agreed to have sex with him. But did I really know what would happen after he got what he wanted? Why did they keep saying I'd get hurt?
"Axel, you have to tell me. Please. What's wrong? Why would I be hurt? Why do you and Wolff think he'll hurt me?" As Axel's head fell flat against the wall and his lids fluttered close, I continued, "Is he into uh...dangerous kinks? Perhaps, bondage and stuff like that?"
Axel's laugh was cold but it was loud as if he was snorting and cursing at the universe right this moment. "You'd wish that was just it, Mariana." He shook his head. "It would have been easier if he was just a kinky bastard."
I frowned. "Then what?" I demanded. "And please, don't tell me to sign the NDA. It would be so easy for both of you to kick me out the house the moment I signed it. I need the leverage, okay?"
"Kick you out? We need you, Mariana. What made you think we would ever let you go that easily?"
"I figured since Wolff wouldn't touch me..."
Axel pushed off the wall and sighed. "He will. He's been fighting it off, but he will."
I fell into the space beside him as we trudged the length of the hallway. "Why won't he? He should have done it the moment I signed that contract."
"He sees something in you, Mariana. And it scared the hell out of him."
I snickered. "I should be the one scared. I'm the freaking virgin. Yet here I am, growing impatient, frustrated and confused as to what's taking him so long. Mierda."
A ghost of a smile formed on Axel's face, softening his strained features. "I don't think I've ever heard you curse in Italian. I almost forgot you are one."
I sighed in exasperation. How easy was it for him to keep changing the subject? "Tell me, Axel. What was the thing that required me to sign the NDA?"
Axel did not stop to look at me. He only increased his pace and tucked his hands in the pockets of his slacks.
I pushed my legs to keep up with him. "Axel. I will not get that damn implant unless I know what I'm dealing with."
Only then did he stopped and turned. "Sign the NDA and I will tell you right now." As if on cue, he slid a hand in the pocket of his jacket and retrieved a piece of paper and a pen. He handed it to me roughly, shoving the pen in my hand with such weight that it almost fell out of my grasp.
Sighing through my nose, I gritted my teeth and signed the paper. There. No more leverage. How easy would they attempt to kick me out if Wolff decided he no longer want me?
Axel tucked the paper back in his jacket, the strain on his shoulders loosening up a bit.
I crossed my arms against my chest. "Now, tell me."
Axel didn't feel the need to waste any time now that I had swore secrecy on paper. In one breath he said, "He's a sex addict."