↳ CHAEYOUNG POV ♡
the moment i had the baton in my possession and saw the face of the man i brutally want to kill at that moment, i just knew something was going to go wrong
But i kept running anyway, i can't let my emotions interfere with the race
But when i was getting so near to him, i started losing control of my breathing, i don't know why and neither do i know how to fix it like i usually do, because at that point, all i knew and was thinking about, was that shit is about to go down
I reached taehyung position and the moment i passed the baton and saw his face, clearly right in front of me, the whole world stop, everything was moving in slow motion and i took a good look at his face
'leave' was all i can read from his expression
Moments later, a reality meteor hit me and it's getting normal again, my vision, my thinking.. But there was one thing not normal,
When i realized the actual reality, my face was falling towards the floor, and at that moment i knew, i fucked up
Falling down on my face, sprinting my ankle, knees bruised, everything was happening, i was laying under the sun, i could hear a commotion happening and i could hear the sounds of footsteps hurrying towards my direction
A figure of a man lifted me up and put me on top of a stretcher, i could hear the sound of very familiar voices nearing, but all i could think about at that point was
Did he finish the race already?
I hated the fact that i was still thinking about him but it was to be expected, there wasn't anyone else besides him, but he's choosing to abandon me, to run away, to throw me out
As if im just something he could take and leave
A pair of warm hands was placed on top of my right hand, i could hear and recognition who it was, it was Namjoon
He looked rather shocked and scared, it was just a fall, so why is he so afraid, i tried to focus on him and say anything, literally anything that could calm him and the others down
As the gurney i was on was pushed into an ambulance, namjoon and jungkook both followed along, and just before the closed the door, i could see him, i could see Taehyung
His eyes were droopy, he had a concerned expression, but was it for me, or was it for anything else
I decided i didn't want to think about him anymore, it was too much of a burden to think about everything, i have my own problems to solve, being threatened by my own mother, and im still trying to find a way to solve his problem
Whatever, i don't want to care anymore, I'll just close my eyes, and sleep, and rest, and when i wake up, whether i see him waiting or not, that'll be the way i decide
Whether I'll be going back or not
↳ TAEHYUNG POV ♡
as i saw her being rushed into an ambulance i felt a huge amount of i don't know how tf to describe this burdening feeling around me ( okay, it's me, i don't know the word)
In the moment of anxiousness, we locked eyes, i was worried, so worried, was it my fault? Did i go too far? I focused on trying to concentrate and made other people lose theirs im return, selfishness.
Her eyes weren't shining as it used to, she looked at me with absolute disgust and emptiness, her gaze felt like it could kill me any minute, she was expressing her emotions through that eyes of hers, the eyes that always looked at me no matter what, the eyes that used to look up to me, and now it's gone, and it's my fault, i made her lose her sparkle, my selfishness.
As the ambulance door was closed, i wished and prayed in my heart, to make sure she's safe, to make sure she was okay and nothing serious happened.. and then i felt someone's hand on the back of my shoulder, it would usually be chaeyoung but it's obviously not her anymore
"do you want to go to the hospital? We're going there right after the confirmation" jin said, arms on my shoulder
i could see them clearly nervous, i was too, they couldn't wait any longer to go see her.. I mean, who wouldn't? ( prolly you lmao)
"you guys can go, I'll wait" i said
honestly i wanted to go see her, but after everything i did? it's too selfish and i shouldn't be so greedy, she was right
She did everything and i did nothing
After my reassurance, the others hoped on the car and drove away to the hospital, leaving me and yoongi who decided to wait with me i think?
"no, I'm not here just to wait with you if that's what you're thinking " he started, ah, such a good observer
"im just here to tell you that no matter what you do, make sure you don't regret it, you've done many wrong decisions in the past, don't do the same mistake again, if you feel like doing something, do it before it's too late, you yourself knows regret is one of the worst thing one could ever feel,
and about chaeyoung, i don't know what you did to make her so unfocused and so disturbed, but what i do know is that her feelings for you are real, you know she likes you, and i really think you like her too, but you just haven't realized it.. so get together, set your feelings straight before you regret, for the millionth time "
He explained, how many times have i heard the word regret today, uncountable really
He then walked away, i don't know where to, but what i know is that i should do what he said to, to get my feelings straight ( should've done the shit earlier ma man)
I headed back to my apartment, still thinking about her, about chaeyoung
Should i go see her? Would she like it? What if my presence just makes her hate me more
All kinds of thoughts came to me at the same time, i want to go see her, but she must hate me now right
( HATE MY ASS SHE'S LITERALLY DECIDING THE BIGGEST DECISION IN HER LIFE BASED ON WHETHER YOU SHOW UP OR NOT TF, WAKE UP JUSEYOORRRR)
sitting in front of the television, i started rethinking, I'll do this until im sure and decide on one decision i know won't hurt anyone
Hours later, still no answer
I should get one by now, should i just go with what my heart says? to go to her and apologize and see if she'll forgive me or should i do as what my mind says? To not go disturb her as it would only hurt her more
Is it heart or mind
And at that time, i decided to do the stupidest thing a human could ever think of, i straight up searched on Google
'should i visit a girl I've hurt? ' i typed in on the search bar
It's like a live stream, this website, you ask or say something and anonymous people will reply, one of the way to get many opinions and point of views
REPLY SECTIONS
⚠️vulgar words are allowed, but things such as racism, sexualizing, grooming or any other illegal topics or related words, are not allowed, AT ALL AND AT ANY SITUATION ⚠️
jung.007 what did you do man? must've hurt her bad, go fuck yourself, she deserves way better
69song_shit hmm, if you think she really truly loves you, of course you should, if her heart is still open, she'll forgive you, fighting !
kiminnie_tff no.
↳ jsy.bbnwindy oof harsh
anonymous go with your gut feelings, not your mind nor your heart, be selfless a while and think what's best for her and not for you
↳ jjong.866 what if what's best for her is also what's worse?
↳ sssong63_4 if that happens, must means the wrong or fault is too big and unforgivable
↳ choisse.u i agree with @ssong63_4, if you did something real bad, maybe just let her go, that's best for the both
Yeah, my mistake was too big, too bad, too painful.. especially for chaeyoung, i should leave her, right? i really hope this is the right choice, because i can not bear to make a wrong decision again
taehyung read all the comments others left, but he missed one, just one .
roses_are_rosie going through the same thing rn, but as the girl, i personally think you should go see her, yk, just to make sure, and whatever comes next will just happen, but at least you tried to be there for her, and didn't just abandon her..
So what is really going to happen? Will taehyung go on with not visiting her or will he just go? Which one of this decision is actually good for both?
Choose one, and live regretless.