Playlist: She Knows - J.Cole
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A week or more has passed since the funeral. A week since I last saw Cody. That whole day was strange. A feeling of anxiety could never leave my body and my mind after the words he had said to me. But somehow I managed to find the strength not to show any fear and weakness to others. I was so confused that all the time I waited for him to turn me in, but I was surprised when this event went off without Cody setting me up.
For the rest of the day, he was quiet and restrained. We were standing very close to each other, and it seemed like the air was filled with electricity. We only exchanged a few words and awkward looks, which made the situation worse. Our silence, our lack of words stunned me. Because of his presence, my body couldn't find a comfortable position, so I did what I did, I was stepping from one foot to another and pressing my nails in my palms as hard as I could, trying to make the silence not that noticeable. But he never left me alone, knowing that he had company, but still, he stood by my side the whole time, even though his attitude was cold and distant towards me.
By the end of the day, he let me go, without saying a single word, not letting me know what is going to happen to me and what I should do.
I was clueless.
Without finding any catch from Cody I had gone home, wondering what I should do with my life now. To all my questions about the murder, Cody was sure to remain silent, ignoring my every word even my whole presence. I didn't know what to expect, whether to be afraid of every person walking behind me, or the person who looked me in the eyes. I've been looking for potential danger in everyone who's been on my way this last week. So now I've decided to stop waiting for any trap and go on with my life without these tormenting thoughts. It's a little easier now that I've let go of the situation and gone back to the rhythm of my life - home, casino, bar.
A few days ago, I got a text from Adamina, which was unexpected because we didn't exchange our numbers. My first thought was to ignore her message, because I didn't want to get close to anyone who knew Cody. So, I closed the notification of her message and with a calm mind went on doing some stuff at home. Without a single thought of her during the whole day, I cleaned the mess at my apartment. I hate it when the house is a mess, I can't think of anything, let alone be in a good mood. And in a few days of living in constant depression and fear of being tracked, my apartment turned into something terrible. And since I've decided to get my life back to normal, it's better to start by cleaning the apartment.
Tired, I fell on the bed, checking my phone. And it was at that moment that I recalled the message that came to me this morning, specifically the girl who sent it. For a while, I was re-reading her message, not knowing what was the right thing to do.
If Cody let me go, no strings attached, I'm going to make sure it stays that way. And communication with Adamine will, after all, intersect with her brother, and therefore with his friend - Cody.
For staying as far away from him as possible, I'm willing to pay any price, to do everything that will prevent me from seeing him again.
I guess I just don't know if I'm ready to risk my safety.
Unknown:
Hey, it's Max's sister, I hope you remember me, the redhead girl from the street outside of the club. I think it would be nice to meet you and spend some time together. You seem to be a nice person, but anyway if u are not really into this just ignore this message.
I can imagine her nervously typing and overthinking every word she used, with her trembling fingers tucking her ginger hair behind her ear.
She sent another message five minutes after the first one.
Unknown:
It's Adamina, My name is Adamina.
I laugh through the smile on my face. She was so afraid or even nervous when she texted me that she forgot to mention her name. But what I find even more amusing is that she was probably re-reading the first message all the time after she sent it, and only five minutes later noticed that she was missing something - her name.
She knew I'd probably just ignore her message and delete it, it made everything inside of me shrink. She's so unsure of herself that she's already preparing herself for rejection by giving me a choice, one of which is ignoring her. If it wasn't for that part of the message, I'd rather delete it, but now I'm thinking about her.
I feel sorry for her and my stomach knotted when I got a flashback of her reaction to Cody's gaze. She looked like she wanted to shrivel up and disappear.
I haven't noticed as I started biting my nails, which I hadn't done before, I am so confused that I can not control my movements at all. My brain is scrambling for the right thing to do. With my hand running through my hair, I took a deep breath, and a thought appeared in my head.
What if the brother in her life is the only person who supports her and she is so desperate for attention that she's ready to hang out with the girl she met somewhere on the street.
I blink as I look at the screen again and open our chat.
I'm not going to mess with them again. It won't lead me to any good. I'm not falling for this. I should be angry, hell, I'm angry at her for texting me. But somewhere inside of me is understanding even compassion and that's what keeps me from ignoring her.
Damn it!
Lillian:
Tomorrow. 8 PM. 3600 S. Las Vegas Blvd.
My answer is brief, but the important thing is that I actually texted her back. I'm not going to waste my daytime meeting her, so I invited her straight to the casino where I want to spend tomorrow's night, part of which I'll spend playing poker, leaving her alone to watch me play.
***
I notice a confused girl in the crowd who looks at everything around her with her eyes fully open, I raise my hand slightly, showing that I see her.
By the light in the building, her hair looks like it is red. I roll my eyes when she trips and almost falls on the man in front of her. Awkwardly laughing and with her head down she continues walking towards me.
I wish she hadn't come.
She doesn't deserve this attitude from me, but the fact that she's connected to Cody is pushing me away from her. Since the morning, I am mad at myself for letting emotions get over me, making me agree to meet with her.
''You good?'' I asked her, pointing to the place where she tripped.
She turns her head and her short, wavy hair is scattering to the sides because of her abrupt motion.
''Yeah, I'm good.'' She laughed, ''Thanks for answering my text.'' She was run out of breath as she sat next to me.
She smiles at me like I am a warm sunbeam on a cold winter day, she was waiting for so long to show up.
I let out a sigh, ''It was nothing, and it's not like I had any plans.'' A lie, it was a total lie.
Her eyes hold an innocence that causes all of my pent-up guilt to rise into my throat.
I guess it's not too late at least to try to be a little kinder.
''How did you find my phone number, you were spying on me?'' Playfully I raised my eyebrow.
She shook her head, ''Oh God, of course not, that's not really my area of expertise.'' She shrugged, pinching the skin on her palm.
Will she take everything I say that seriously?
I have to make sure she understood me right, ''It was just a joke, no need to be that worried.'' I tried to calm her down, ''But honestly, how did you do that?
I have a feeling that I already know the answer to that question, but I don't want to admit it to myself.
''It wasn't that hard,'' She spoke, ''Since you already know Max, I asked him for your number, that's all the magic.'' She laughed, throwing her hands in the air.
Of course, Max doesn't have my contacts, but someone else has - Cody. My jaw clenched at the mere thought of him.
''Have you ever been told that you don't look like people who prefer to spend their time in clubs?'' I asked, my voice was quiet.
Adamina nodded with her head down,'' Yeah, a lot. It's not that I often go to places like this, I prefer something more cozy and discreet.'' She shrugged, smiling.
That's exactly how I pictured her that night in the club.
''So, tell me how did you meet with Cody?'' She asked me.
I bit on the inside of my cheek, thinking about the words I have to say.
''Nothing special, we bumped into each other at the same club where we were last time,'' I said quickly.
She eyed me warily for a few seconds, ''Ooh, so you met at his club.'' She raised her eyebrows, giving me a small smile.
I sit there stunned and dumbfounded for a moment before taking a deep breath. His club? Cody is the owner of that fancy club? I frown and pressed my hands to my face, swallowing hard.
I feel Adamina's gaze on me. ''You had no idea, right?'' Her voice had lowered.
''Please, explain to me why do you look scared every time he looks at you?'' I decided to find out the truth no matter how hard it can be.
''It's hard to explain, we've known each other for a long time since we were kids, and there is a lot of stuff that connects us, the three of us had happy moments, but also we had tragic ones. Our friendship is a bit tense right now, but I'm definitely not afraid of him.'' She spoke softly, giving me a reassuring smile.
''I'm sorry, I don't have to get into your stuff.''
''You must understand that he is not a simple man, no matter how close you are with him, he won't open up to you. He has a past that made him being such an asshole.'' The amusement dropped from her face. ''He can be rude, arrogant and he does a lot of illegal things with my brother, but it doesn't mean he is a bad man.'' She admitted softly.
After spending two days with him, I realized he wasn't a saint. But why is she telling me all this? I am not planning on hanging out with him.
''Listen, we all have a past, but that doesn't mean you have to act like a jerk to other people,'' I muttered, running a hand over my face.
She didn't respond, she was looking behind my back with her eyes widened, nervously stretching the back of her neck.
''Oh, I didn't expect that.'' She stated, staring at the entrance. As she looked at me, she was biting on her lower lip.
Slowly turning my head to where Adamina was just looking, I saw something I didn't expect. The tension between me and her feels like it is growing.
I lift my head, eyes widening once I look at Adamina, ''Don't tell me you invited them.'' The sudden rush of panic I was trying to fight off caused my words to sound a bit harsh.
She meets my eyes, she knows that she needs to explain herself. ''No, I just told Max, I didn't think he was coming here with Cody. '' I don't care what she is saying, I am panicking way too much to focus on it.
''I didn't expect you to react like this, '' Her words were slow, giving them time to sink in, ''I thought you were friends.'' The smile she gave me was way too playful.
Am I the only one that has no idea what just happened? Why did she give me that look of I know everything? I look at her suspiciously with my eyes furrowed, trying to scare her, but she just looks back at me, with a grin on her face.
I think for a moment.
''Yeah, we are good friends.'' Hard to believe I managed to say that with a straight face, not showing my disgust.
There were a few seconds of silence between us before I caught the movements of two men getting closer.
I took a sip of my drink, leaving red lipstick on the glass. When they stood right in front of us I felt the alarm raising in me, forgetting to breathe I placed the glass on the table.
''Hey, bullet girl,'' Max spoke and raised his fist to me, waiting for me to do the same.
Every muscle in my body tensed as I looked at him, I just swallowed hard and the desire of being swept by the earth appeared. The look on my face had to be bad so he raised my hand himself, clenched it into a fist, and bumped them.
I definitely didn't expect this, I turned my head to Adamia, but all she did was press her lips in a thin line and shrug her shoulders.
I didn't even want to look at the man who came here with Max, there was only chaos in my head.
They know...
I trusted him and he couldn't even keep it a secret, how am I supposed to look at him? I froze, not enjoying it in the slightest but figuring that I should not show my fear, I somehow came back from my head.
''It's fine, not that I support this kind of stuff, but no one's gonna judges you for this here.'' The soft female voice spoke.
My nails dug harder in my palms. I was still speechless but kept my head high. I examined them, an interesting mix of emotions showing on my face as I focused my eyes on him.
He stood with his shoulders back, one hand on the table. Cody was satisfied with my reaction, he enjoyed it, not even hiding his smirk. He came in here bragging about the power he holds. As if saying, "Red. Go no further."
''Take a seat, I can't see the others, you're blocking my view,'' I said, trying to keep the conversation on a serious note.
''Listen, if you don't like the way I called you, I'll stop,'' Max began, trying to lighten the mood, ''I didn't think you'd be so tense about it.'' I heard the guilt in his voice.
'Knock it off,'' Cody growled, ''She has a voice to say that she doesn't like it, she is not a kid to be begged.'' A hiss tumbled over his lips.
Max grimaced, rolling his eyes, not understanding why he did react like that.
Taking a last deep breath, I spoke again, ''He is right, you don't have to beg me, I'm perfectly capable of expressing my annoyance.'' I shot back with a grin, ''I can stand up for myself just fine, and that's exactly what I'm doing.'' I clenched my jaw, leaning on the back of the seat.
''Of course, you can.'' The corners of Cody's mouth raised in a small grin when he eyed me up and down. ''You're especially good at breaking out of a tight grip.'' He muttered sarcastically, with his eyes narrowed.
The memory of him pressing me against the wall, looking deeply into my eyes, made my stomach shrink. My whole body was tense. That night in the restroom when he held me so tight that I couldn't break out from his grip.
I heard Adamina let out a small sigh, interrupting our contraction. ''What are you doing in here anyway?''
I was grateful she tried to distract them, so I could relax a bit. I nodded slowly at her, showing that I do appreciate this.
''I thought you'd be bored by yourselves, so I've decided to keep you company,'' Max muttered, giving me a cheeky wink.
Adamina sucked in a small breath, before looking at Cody, ''Hm, and why is he here?'' She spoke quietly, angling her head to her brother so that Cody couldn't hear.
Max snorted softly, ''He sort of invited himself, mostly to stalk Li-'' He stopped, his eyes widened. He realized that he said too much.
If I get it right, is he here to stalk me? Well, that was expected. I let him do whatever he wants, as long as it doesn't stop me from living in peace.
''Okay, we'll go to the bar and order some drinks.'' Adamina smiled at me, pulling Max to follow her.
I only nodded in response. Now I'll be alone here with Cody, oh help me, God.
I was drawing circles with my finger around the rim of the glass when I felt my hand just hanging in the air. As I glanced at the table, I noticed that the glass wasn't there.
I looked over my shoulder at Cody, who was looking at me with his teeth flashed in a malicious grin.
He held a glass, my glass.
He lowered his gaze on the drink, running his hand through his hair. ''Would you mind?'' He angled his head to look at me, with his eyebrow up.
I cleared my throat, ''It's mine, you can order a drink for yourself.'' I gave him a flat look.
He chuckled, showing me his perfect teeth, ''Where is fun in that?'' He said, a smile curling onto his lips, ''This drink, is exactly what I want.'' He cocked his head to the side, clicking his tongue.
''I take it you don't understand what does ''no'' means?'' I asked, reaching for my glass, but he pulled his hand away from me.
''Never.'' He shrugged, his tone stone serious but this whole situation was amusing to him.
Before I could say anything, he held a glass to his lips, not breaking our eye contact. My mouth parted when I saw him pressing his lips at the exact spot where I left my red lipstick print. The feeling of a lump appearing in my throat, made me close my mouth and gulp nervously. I'm hot, and it's not because of the temperature in the room, it's the tension between us. His Adam's apple is temptingly bopping in his throat, as he swallows.
He eyed me for a few seconds and finished his drink, slowly licking his lips, enjoying the aftertaste of the liquor.
Oh God, what is he doing?
I can't stop looking at his lips. They are wet, a bit swollen, and have a light shade of pink, probably because he bit on them way too much.
He leans back on the couch, a grin breaking over his face, ''My eyes are up there.'' I feel his fingers on my chin, lifting my head a bit so now I'm looking into his eyes.
''Much better,'' He said it so low, almost like a whisper, trailing his index finger along my lower lip, smashing my red lipstick.
I stay frozen, my face feels so hot under his soft touch. My mind tells me to move away from him, to take his hand off my lips, but my body isn't listening to me. A fever sparks in my lower belly, my body covered in a hot sweat. My breathing is short and sharp, I bet he can feel my hot breath on his finger.
No, I'm not letting this jerk manipulate my emotions. I move my head away from him, letting his hand fall from my lips. He chuckled, looking down at me with heavy-lidded eyes.
''I'm done with your attitude, asshole,'' Somehow, I managed to say, still confused about the way my body reacted to his touch, ''Unlike you, I'm here to work.'' I snapped at him in one breath.
The corners of his lips quirk, as he runs his fingers through his long, curly hair.
I immediately stood up from the couch and headed down to the center of the hall to play poker. Right now, I'm definitely out of my comfort zone. I was having a great time with Adamina, and he decided to show up here without even asking my permission.
I was trying to find Max and Adamia in the crowd, but I didn't see them anywhere, so I simply threw the thought of finding them away.
''Good evening ladies and gentlemen, this is an announcement for all of our poker players in the house. We are about to begin a 500-100$ cash game, If you would like to join please make your way to the poker room located next to the bar.'' The male voice rang across the hall.
When I entered the room, there was no one in there, just me and a game dealer. As we exchanged a few words with him the door flew open.
The idea that people who wanted to play started coming in disappeared as soon as I saw the curly-haired man.
Fuck! He will never leave me alone.
His tall figure steps inside, he doesn't need to do anything to make people notice him, his whole body radiates confidence and mystery.
His eyes found mine and he made his way to the chair in front of me. Gradually, he leans back with his legs wide apart.
''We are ready to start,'' Cody said confidently, making me frown.
''We have to wait for others to come,'' I mumbled a bit aggressively.
''It's impossible to start the ga-'' The game dealer started flatly but stopped when Cody looked at him.
His face is serious, even cold, his jaw clenched, eyes wide and wild. It even made me physically shrink back on the chair. He knows how to scare people with just one look.
It was enough for the man to shut up, he hesitated for a moment, but then went to lock the door.
Cody's lips pull into a sly smirk, he is staring at me without hiding his admiration. It feels like everything in the room is sucked out and there are only his shimmering eyes.
''Here is a deal,'' He began, ''If you win, I'll grant you any wish,'' He said, wetting his lips as his haunting eyes focused on mine, ''And If I win, you will grant my wish,'' Cody smirked, resting his hand on the table.
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Love you to the Moon and back!
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