Carter:
I have been sitting at home for about an hour since Ezra dropped me off. Technically I should still be at work but I called in saying I felt really sick. It was sort of a lie, sort of wasn't. I was so happy that I went out on a date with Ezra but I did feel slightly sick. I haven't puked out all the food yet but I was definitely contemplating it.
I saw leaning against the shower, looking at the toilet. Do it fatass, you're doing your dad a favour and if you ever want a chance with Ezra then you gotta get into shape! I nodded my head agreeing with...my head.
I flipped up the lid of the toilet seat and puked out everything that I had eaten today. Well at least I hoped it was everything. Surprisingly a lot did come back up, I thought it would have all turned into fat on my body, which would have made me freak!
I wiped my mouth and flushed the toilet, then I took my toothbrush and scrubbed all my teeth and a good long scrub on my tongue to get the taste and smell off. No one wants to smell vomit, and I certainly do not want to taste it.
I thought about what I would do for the rest of the night. Dad was probably going to the bar to get some drinks, I swear I wouldn't be the tiniest bit shocked if dad ended up knocking someone up. Nevertheless I hope he doesn't because I do not want a little sibling. I would be an awful role model. And the thought I would make a juvenile child be like me. A fat, disgusting, ugly (I could go on), human being left me aggravated.
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I heard a rattle at my window. I checked my phone, 2am! I looked back at the window and realised someone was tapping on it. Ezra, was tapping on it.
I pulled it up and he stumbled in loudly. Thank the lord my dad wasn't home tonight.
"What the fuck are you doing here!?" I yelled.
Clearly he was drunk, so he wouldn't remember anything. He looked up at me and giggled. He was delirious.
"You're so cute,"
I tried not to blush. He was drunk, he doesn't mean anything he says. Though he has called me adorable once. I shook my head. Whatever that is besides the point.
"We need to get you home!" I pulled on his arm in an attempt to drag him.
"Can't I stay here with youuuu?" He dragged on the you.
I did not have any energy in my body to deal with a drunken Ezra. I already dealt with a drunk bastard enough. Not that I was calling Ezra a bastard.
His house was still quite far away from here, hell I don't even know if I remember where it is. So how am I supposed to get him home. I had just dragged him to the first step when I realised getting him home was definitely not an option. I am going to actually kill myself in the morning for this.
I tugged the now groaning Ezra to my bedroom again and let him slump down on my bed. Guess the couch it is!
I began walking away when I heard my name slip. I turned to look at Ezra who still looked drunk but now lonely.
"Don't leave?" He pleaded.
Wow, I have never met a...vulnerable side of Ezra, he always seemed so chill and just fun to be around. Guess we all had a soft side. Well actually, I kinda of new he already had a soft side. He kind of to9ld me himself?
I sighed and hopped in next to him. Let's hope he will be too drunk to remember this in the morning.
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I stirred awake and when I went to wack my arm down onto the matrass it hit something else. When did he take his shirt off!?
"Moorrning," he hummed.
Oh. My. Fucking. God. He. Was. Hot. I quickly looked away.
"You need to leave. Like, now!" I hurried him up. He laughed at my flustered state.
"Did you enjoy the view?" He laughed.
I could tell I was turning even more red. I pushed him out the window and he landed on the tree. I found his shirt and chucked it on him. I was so glad dad didn't come home last night.
"Adios Carter!" He saluted and went to his car.
That shit seriously drove here without getting caught? OF course he did!
I picked up all the shit in my room and placed it back. Then I grabbed a jacket and left the house. I had to go to work yet again. Another day I was not looking forward to.
"Hello love!" Hunter whistled.
"What did I tell you yesterday?" I huffed,
He gritted his teeth and walked away. Good. He was finally not being a pushy dick.
I went to my register and started serving customers. Sunday was lot's of people's grocery days, so I knew we were going to be pretty busy today. I guess that was fine. Like most, I wasn't actually doing anything. I mean at leas I presumed most people didn't do anything on the weekends. Just sit around and hang out with friends???
I honestly do not have a clue. I sit around and read or study or work. I must say hanging out with Ezra has been quite fun though.
I smirked when Ezra came to my mind. I still can't wrap my head around how amazing he is, and why I never gave him a chance. Maybe half of my misery wouldn't exist if I had just let him in. Don't be so happy, soon enough he will leave you! Just like everyone else.
Never mind, I know exactly why I didn't let him in, in the first place. Who knows, he might actually stay...or is that just my way of keeping myself happy? What if he does leave like everyone else???
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"Ezra, I am at work, what do you want?" I asked.
I didn't mean to come off so... assertive. In a way though, even though he made my stomach have butterflies earlier, I was still mad at his performance last night. I mean, what happened if my father was home! Stop making everything about you!
"Sorry, I can call back later..."
"N-no! It's fine. Sorry, what do you need?"
"I was a complete fool last night. I am so, so, so sorry. I was at Noah's and we got a little carried away drinking and then he threw this party an-"
"It's fine. Really. I was just really worried. You know my dad's opinions on having people over," I mentally cursed myself.
I hoped that statement didn't lead him to any of the wrong conclusions. Wait, if he did get lead to what I was thinking, would it actually be wrong? Yes, remember you deserve everything that you get. You are a waste of space and don't deserve anything good! Right.
"Oh- ok. Again really sorry," just as I was about to ask him something, something else caught my I.
Someone else.
"Can we call back later. I-I really need to go. Like now!" I hung up not waiting for an answer.
He came to the counter I panicked. Why was he here. What the actual fuck, I thought he was gone for good. Was he here to wreck my life. Wh-what if he-
"Hey Cart," he grinned.
Anger boiled inside of me. This fucker didn't get to call me Cart. Not anymore. I don't even want to know him, I was completely fine with him being far, far, far away from me. Far! Away.
"Stay the fuck away from me you sicko!" I gritted.
He shook his head in disapproval. I was not in the mood to deal with bullshit. I was actually in the mood to be distracted by Ezra's charms.
"That isn't anyway to treat a customer," his voice was teasing.
"I'm on break!" I yelled.
I pulled on his long sleeve and brought him out of the supermarket still gritting my teeth. The same question kept circling around my head. Why was he here.
"I don't know why the fuck you're here, but I want you to leave!" I yelled.
He held his hands up in defence.
"First of all Cart, this is a free world, I can be here if I want. I'm not a criminal. Second of all, since when did you get such a big mouth but it's starting to grow on me," he purred.
"Anyway. I came back for you," he cooed.
"When you left you wanted nothing to do with me. Now all of a sudden you want to be besties again? Nah, I don't think so."
I turned away and began walking back into the shop.
"Carter, wait!"
I stopped, not turning around.
"Let me explain. Please?"
"I am giving you 5 minutes." I hesitantly walked back over to him.
"I didn't want to keep a connection with you when I left because I didn't think you could handle it..." he sighed in a defeated tone.
"That wasn't your decision to make." I felt brave. I don't think I've ever been this confident.
"I know Carter. I know. I fucked up and I know you won't take me back this easily. I know just a few minutes ago I sounded like a complete asshole. I don't know, I was nervous, I still am. It's just everything with Ty, I didn't know if you would be able to cope with me being gone and long periods of no talking. So I thought. Why not just end it all, you would get over it." His head hung low when he finished his sentence.
"First of all. I chose to end it all with Ty, he was abusive and you even made me realise that. Second of all, you just made things worse cutting things off with me. I now have major trust issues, social issues and more that isn't your business. And you're right. Second first impression wasn't amazing," I sarcastically remarked at the end.
"Would you give me another chance?"
I was stunned by the question. I knew he was bound to ask but it just...stunned me. I didn't know how to answer. I was very fucking mad at the guy but so many parts of me wanted to forgive him. I couldn't though. Not yet. He wasn't allowed to just come back one day and suddenly be back into my life. That's not how friendships work.
"How about we work on it?" He asked.
I could tell he didn't want to hear my answer, I don't know if all of me wanted to either.
"I'm going to say it again Carter. I. Fucked. Up. And I know very well that you aren't going to forgive you on the spot and I don't blame you at all. I don't care how hard I have to work but I want to be apart for your life and if that takes me until I die...so be it."
Although I was certain it still would take a very long time for me to forgive him, I knew that his words had to be somewhere between true and genuine. I guess it was a start.
"I also am not going to enrol in your school. I'm not going to force you into accepting me back into your life, but I am going to try."
Yep a definite start. Call me rude for not accepting him straight away, but like I said, I have trust issues and lot's of them are due to him. I did appreciate him not being at my school though. I appreciated it very much. At least I knew that he was going to try and make an effort. I don't know how long that may last, but I am hoping it lasts long enough for me to one: forgive him and two: for him to redeem himself just for himself.
I nodded and then turned around leaving him there.
Let's see how this goes.