Ezra:
The skinny blonde-haired boy was quiet most of the car drive. He seemed excited at first and I hoped he still was, he just didn't seem to wanna talk, and that was fine but he seemed tensed or deep in thought. I don't know. I was usually better at reading people but he was a closed book. We stopped and I tapped him on the shoulder making him jump.
"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you," I said worrying that I had scared him or hurt him or something.
"It's fine. I am just a little jumpy," he laughed casually.
At least he was smiling. Though I will admit, his whole mood seemed to have change from the beginning of the drive, to now. When we got out he looked around and saw where I was heading or guessed. I wanted to take him to an Italian diner. I had only been here a few times and it was wonderful, romantic.
Maybe I hadn't thought about his eating habits before this, which I was now regretting as he sat staring at his bowl of pasta. He looked up at me and I was glancing at him with a pleading expression. Just take a few bites, just a few.
He smiled and then with a shaky hand picked up his fork. I held my breath during this anticipation. I snuck a few looks at him whilst eating my own meal. He wasn't looking at me and instead he was staring at his food. I wish I knew what was happening in that beautiful mind of his.
I wanted to know his thoughts, emotions. What he was feeling about all of this. I wanted to know what I could do to help him, what to say. But instead I just sat there feeling guilty about this. He looked upset like the food was his enemy. Maybe I shouldn't have asked him to go out for food. I really had to think of better date ideas. He stabbed a piece of the penne pasta with the fork and brought it up to his thin pink lips. His face was still a little cut up and bruised. Where he got them from I didn't ask. It wasn't me being insensitive but I didn't want to come out as a sticky-beak. Let's just hope that he was a clumsy guy.
That's what you tell yourself, but we both know very well that he isn't just clumsy. You see him with multiple bruises almost everyday, just ask and stop being a coward.
"Are you ok?" I wondered.
He looked me in the eyes and tried to smile, but it was pretty difficult with pasta in his mouth. Wait what? I looked back at him and saw him swallowing. A smile formed across myself at the thought of seeing him eat without me having to push too much. There was so many things that I didn't want to come off as. Pushy was another one of them, I just cared so much and it killed me to see him like this. I always noticed he wasn't the most happiest kid in the grade but now that I hang out with him now, I am starting to see that he seems actually a bit emotionless. I always just saw his as a stressed out nerdy try hard who had to calm the fuck down about things. But now I was stressing about him.
It's ok. I can care about him but maybe I had to calm down a bit and look pass his paralysed expressions. maybe it was just me not allowing myself to see a happier side of him. I need to look at the positives. I was beginning to make him sound depressed and just sad or whatever. He smiled a fair bit, he laughed at the groups' stories. It's just my own thoughts.
When I looked up again, I hadn't realised that our plates has gone. Did he eat all of his?
"Y-you umm, you ate it all?"
It was supposed to come out less...surprised and more of just a question. a general question. But I fucked up. He nodded quickly. I cannot believe he actually ate it all. maybe he was trying to improve himself for his friendship. But I didn't want him to feel that him by himself wasn't good enough for me because he was. He was beyond good enough. Though I could never tell him my feelings. Not yet at least, that would just come out really creepy.
"Thank you. Fo-for all of this, and for being friends with me," he smiled.
I returned an even bigger one. He was improving, hopefully if he keeps eating he won't just look all skin and bones. He obviously doesn't even realise what he is doing to himself. I want to take him to a doctor but maybe he was always just really skinny. It could just be like a medical condition.
Stop overthinking it Ez. Just be happy that you guys are even sitting in this Italian restaurant today. Hey the voice in my head was right.
"Do you want to get out of here?" I motioned towards the door.
He nodded and pulled out his wallet. Absolutely not. I reached my hand over his and pushed the money back in his pocket. He laughed this cute laugh that was to die for. I wanted to scream, but how would that even make me look? He was literally the most adorable thing I had come across.
"What?" He giggled.
"This is my treat," I winked and his cheeks were replaced by a strong shade of pink.
I think I was blushing too by the sight.
"You can't keep saying it's your treat, I feel bad," he groaned.
I shrugged my shoulders, letting my stubborn side take over. I didn't care about paying, besides we kind of had a fair bit of money, I mean not be cocky but my parents kind of didn't care about how much money I spent it. "What else are we supposed to do?" They had always asked. They had a point.
I pulled out my card and went up to the counter to pay. Then I walked out with a bashful Carter.
He hid his face from me the whole car ride, distracting himself by looking out the window.
"Thank you again for everything," I loved how grateful he was.
I wish he didn't say thank you so much though because it made him even more irresistible and it was all ready beginning to be impossible to keep my feelings for him under control. I nearly almost killed a guy the other day for being a dick pedo towards him. I keep beating myself up for not killing him. I swear if I ever saw that thing again I would tear the guy down, even if it wasn't the same guy. If anyone hurt him I swear! They might get away with it from carter because he was insecure and scared but I would haunt them for the rest of their lives!
My grip tightened against the steering wheel at the thought of that night's events. It just made me so angry. If it happened to anyone it would make me angry because that is never ok. It just makes people scared shitless and no one deserves to feel that way. And that is what I was determined to make Carter feel. I don't know why he seemed to be so scare and or closed off, his emotions were a bit of a mixture, but most of them were him being in a bad mental place and not a healthy one.
Again, over thinking. Calm your farm, the boy seems fine, besides your his only friend. He would tell you. I tried to convince myself that he would tell me if anything was bothering him but it was clear that he won't tell anyone if anything happens and he will just brush them of like they're nothing.
One day thought. I hope one day, he will open up to me and tell me about his past or anything else that may be causing him stress. For now though, I need to trust him and be his friend.
I pulled up at his house, remembering that one encounter I had with his father. I wonder why he didn't like having guests over? I mean wouldn't he be working or something? Whatever.
I waved Carter goodbye as he departed the car. He waved to me from his front door. I waved and then zoomed off.
I think I would drop in and see Noah. He was usually doing nothing these days. his parents were barely around so he had guests over whenever.
I parked in his driveway knowing I wouldn't be in the way of anyone. I rang the doorbell because Noah didn't like people just barging in on him because he found it startling and unnecessary. He was probably right but it was so boring waiting for this jackasses to get off of their asses and answer a door, like it's not that hard!
He came to the door with bed hair, he looked like he had just gotten up and that would explain the hair.
"What the fuck! You woke me up dude!"
"Calm down, what's even more concerning is the fact that it is 2pm and you are just getting out of bed," I told him, addressing the real problem.
2pm. Why is it just hitting me now that I should have dropped Carter back at work. He probably knew and didn't say anything. Damn him for being too sweet and worrying!
"Just get inside," he scowled opening the door slightly wider.
I came in his house and went upstairs, heading towards his room. I beat him to his room and it was still dark. His bed wasn't made and there was just food scraps and cigarettes littered around.
"When did you start smoking again?" I asked when he came into the room.
"I don't know. When I felt like it," he groaned, rubbing at his eyes.
Remind me not to come to Noah's when he was still just getting up. Noah is a grouchy mood is no fun. He's just a total sloth.
"Why are you even here Ez?" He asked.
I didn't have an answer. I was here because there was nothing better to do, I would have gone to see Ruby if I knew Noah was going to be Oscar the grouch.
"Is it so bad for your best friend to want to come annoy the shit out of you for the arvo?" I tried to crack a joke.
"It is when I was sleeping peacefully. You know it's not amazing hearing your doorbell ring at this time of day."
"For Christ's sake its 2 in the afternoon Noah! You are wasting the greatest years of your life!" I was probably being a little melodramatic but why not top it all of?
I opened his curtains like the characters in all the movies. There we go! I turned back to him grinning. He sighed and then for once today, he looked half awake.
"If you stop being such a vibe killer then I'll make you food," his attention went into high-mode when he heard the word food.
"I swear you're like a dog," I declared as we walked down stairs.
He sat at the island whilst I went through his fridge to look for food. I wasn't the best cook but I could make a pretty good meal for this child.
I cracked an egg against the side of the pan and let the raw egg fall onto the pan with a hissing noise. I pulled out two strips of bacon and put them next the egg. Why this weirdo just had this sort of stuff around, I still wondered that today. It's not like his parents cooked for him, though I guess when I came over I always made him a feast. He usually just made toast or poured cereal for breakfast.
"That smells good," he moaned dreamily.
I rolled my eyes. Though I must admit it did smell pretty damn good. I began to feel a tad bit hungry, but couldn't be bothered to eat anything. I put the food onto a plate and then got to making pancakes. What can I say? I treat the big baby like a king.
He had quite the appetite which made sense considering he's only getting up at this time and his stomach wouldn't have anything but cereal last night.
"Your diet is really unhealthy you know," I commented, flipping a pancake.
"Tell that to your new little love interest," he sarcastically remarked.
I shot him a harsh glare. It wasn't funny to joke around like that.
"Relax, I was kidding. But seriously dude, don't just my eating habits when you got mister anorexic right next to you," he said in a more serious tone.
"First, he isn't anorexic! And second he actually ate a full dish of pasta today. Besides I'm trying to get him to eat," I pouted.
When I looked back at him he had a genuinely sad expression.
"You know sometimes you won't be able to fix people Ez. Perfect people don't exist," he pat me on the back before gobbling down another pancake.
"I know!...I know."
I was mad. That was the saying I always said and I did know that perfect people didn't exist.
"Besides, I'm sure he's always just been skinny," I grumbled.
The thought Carter could have an eating disorder has of course popped into my mind a few times, but I don't think he does. I just think his eating habits are screwed up like this ones.
"Whatever you say," he rolled his eyes, not believing my petti excuse. I hoped it wasn't an excuse though.