I couldn't keep going on like this. I had been slaying demons nonstop for the last year. Ringo gives me missions sometimes, but at this point, I'm hunting demons on my own time and I think the Slayer Corps have just accepted that. I've even heard of people referring to me as the phantom Tenth Hashira.
**A year training and a year killing demons... What an exciting existence. How many demons have I even slain, at least a hundred by now... I'm not doing this for acclaim, but that title of 10th Hashira is kind of cool I guess... It doesn't matter anyway if other Slayers are too timid to talk to me.**
I was tired and I was depressed. Taking the lives of so many beings, whether they were demons or humans, took a big toll on my mental sanity. I couldn't keep this up forever. Some days I considered retiring or letting a demon defeat me just so I could be freed from this physical and mental pain. However, I knew that was just the depression trying to fool me. I needed to find Muzan and put an end to this as soon as possible so nobody else would need to suffer anymore. Then, and only then, would I be allowed to retire and just relax.
**I wish I at least knew what Muzan looked like. What are the odds I've already crossed paths with him before and didn't realize? No... My intuition would've alerted me. Where is he hiding?!**
I dragged myself through the woods hoping to find either Muzan or a place to rejuvenate. I found neither for a while. Eventually, I wandered the woods for long enough to come across signs of civilization. It was a decent-sized village. I stumbled through the village I was in looking for somewhere to get a meal. My body and head were crying out for rest, but I couldn't stop now. Muzan was out there and the more time I wasted, the more lives he could've been ruining. I was reminded of a lesson my master once taught me.
Izanagi: Imagine you're in a mine with a pickaxe. You're tearing through walls in search of gold, but you haven't found any after hours of mining. If you choose to stop and go back, you forfeit your chance to get that gold without realizing that it may have only been one swing away.
I had to put an end to this, but I wouldn't be able to reach Muzan if I just stopped now. At the same time, I wouldn't be able to stop him in my current condition. I needed to swallow my pride and take a break.
**Sorry, master. I'll be back for that one last swing later... Is there a safe house anywhere nearby? Where exactly am I?**
I trekked through the area for a while until I found a village. I asked around to find out where I was, but hearing their responses didn't help me out much. I had no other option but to call for Ringo and hope that he could guide me to a safe place to rest. I headed off into the woods to get away from civilization.
Y/N: Ringo! Hey, Ringo!
After a few moments, Ringo came flying out of the trees and landed on my head.
Ringo: What is it? What is it?!
Y/N: Ringo, I'm exhausted but you could probably already tell that. I was wondering if you knew where there was a Wisteria incrested house nearby. Where's the closest one?
Ringo flew up into the air and started pointing his beak in a specific direction.
Ringo: Go that way! Leave the woods and follow the trail west! You will find it somewhere!
Y/N: Thanks, Ringo. I owe you one.
Ringo: Whatever, I'm leaving now!
Ringo flew up into the sky and soared away. I followed his instructions and headed out of the woods and onto the trail. I walked with my head down, but I tried to keep up a steady pace. I didn't want the sun to go down while I was still out here, because I was too tired to fight any demons right now. I was thankful for my custom-made sword sheath that had small traces of Wisteria in it. It wasn't too potent, but it did a good job of scaring off weak demons that may have tried to attack me otherwise. Still, I didn't want to be out here by nightfall.
**How much further? I've been walking for hours. If I wasn't too tired to run, I would've probably been there by now.**
I kept on walking before I started to recognize my surroundings. The path headed up into the mountains and was surrounded by nothing but forest.
**Am I where I think I am?**
I stopped on the path and turned around. I examined my surroundings to see if I was where o thought. I couldn't tell because it'd been around 2 years since the last time I was here and the forest had grown larger.
**Maybe I am where I think. Then that would mean this safe house is...**
I turned around again and kept walking in the direction I was already headed. A small part of me wanted to go there and beg for help, but another part of me knew that I turned my back on them and had to fulfill my goals first. I had a good idea of where this path was leading me and I considered turning around and going a different way.
**I can't do that. If I waste any time before night then my efforts these last years will have been for nothing.**
I forced my body to keep going despite how tired I was. I never realized how serious the mental toll on my body was until I went a year straight without stopping. My body felt like it was at the peak of its power but also felt like I was going too hard. It's like I was on an adrenaline high for the last year and my body was finally feeling the strain. I tripped over myself and fell to the snow. I felt like lying there and falling asleep, but I knew if I did that I wouldn't have a chance to wake up in the morning. Whether it be demons, or it be the weather, I wasn't lasting if I fell asleep.
**The Hashira used to always find me at the most convenient times... I guess now that I've gotten stronger, fate isn't on my side anymore. How I'd kill to just pass out right now and know that Mitsuri or Shinobu was going to take care of me until I woke up. Even one of the Hashira that don't really like me, like Iguro, would be nice to see right now. Or what about Tetsuo? It'd be nice if he showed up out of nowhere like he did on that mountain a few years back... How nice would that be?**
I was on my own. I traded my good luck for power. I didn't think that I would be getting bailed out by anybody else this time, so I slowly managed to force myself to get back up.
**Y/N, you've worked too hard. You're too strong for this. Get up and walk. You're considered to be on the same level as the Hashira, right? Then don't wait for one of them to come and save you... Clear a path for yourself!**
I marched onward, but I started to feel nauseous and got dizzy. I felt like I was drunk and could hardly walk a straight path.
**What's wrong with me? C'mon body! Just cooperate with me for a little longer!**
I walked on, but at this point, I had no idea where I was going. I could hardly see and it felt like somebody was constantly hitting me on the head. The snow wasn't making things any better either since everything was white. My vision was practically just one large white blur now.
Y/N: Hello?
I thought I heard somebody talking to me, but I didn't get a response when I spoke. The white blur overtaking my vision slowly went away as I saw brown in the distance.
**More trees? No, that looks like some type of building. Forget the safehouse, I seriously need to take a break.**
I tracked forward to reach the building. I heard voices as I got closer. I paid it no mind because I thought I was still hearing things.
???: [INAUDIBLE TALKING]
???: [INAUDIBLE]
I heard people yelling and laughing.
**I'm hearing things right? Why isn't this one going away?**
Y/N: Hello? Hey..?
My voice was so weak and quiet as I headed in the direction of the voices. There were 6 blurry figures. 5 were moving and one sat perfectly still. Next to the one standing still were two more figures moving on the ground.
Y/N: Help-
I was too weak to yell out to them and I couldn't really see, so I just kept getting closer. The two figures on the floor got up. The larger of the two ran off towards the building while the smaller one stood and waited.
Y/N: Please. Can you-
I was on the verge of losing consciousness and felt like just giving up.
**They'll see me if I pass out right here, won't they? I'm close enough now.**
Y/N: Yo!
I used the last of my energy to yell out to them. The last of my energy wasn't enough to be loud, but it seemed that the smaller figure had realized I was there. Their figure got closer as I fell face-first into the snow.
**Success! At least one of them found me. Sorry for being so lazy, but I hope you all can handle this from here.**
I was about to fall asleep, but I willed myself to stay awake a little bit longer once I felt somebody grab me and lift me up. They were trying to say something to me, or maybe they weren't. They pulled me in close to warm me up. They were warm.
???: [INAUDIBLE SOUND]
**This feeling is so familiar. This warm and soft, but strong, embrace. I wonder...**
I pulled away and forced my eyes open. I couldn't really see anything still, but I saw long black hair and the color pink.
**Nezuko? Couldn't be. We're outside. I'm still hallucinating.**
My lack of sleep was really messing with me so I decided to stop fighting it and just pass out already. As I closed my eyes, I felt the person hold me close and try to pick me up. The other figures started coming over too.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I slowly opened my eyes to see where I was at now. I was greeted by a pair of bright pink eyes and a bamboo muzzle in front of my face. I wasn't tied down, but my body was so tired that it felt like I was.
Nezuko: Hmm..?
Y/N: Nezu- ko?
**Nezuko? So I really wasn't imagining that? Or what if I'm still hallucinating? What if I'm dead and this is just what I subconsciously imagined Heaven being like?**
When Nezuko saw that I was fully awake, she jumped up onto the bed and buried her face into my torso as hugged me. I looked around the room and saw that mostly everybody was there.
**Miss Aoi, Lady Shinobu, Tanjiro, Inosuke, Zenitsu, Naho, Kiyo, Sumi, Kanao. You're all here!**
I examined everybody. Naho, Kiyo, and Sumi had all gotten taller and their faces had matured slightly, but they were still all roughly the same height as each other. Inosuke, Zenitsu, and Aoi all looked the same for the most part, but each of them had gotten taller too. Shinobu had already reached her final growing years and she looked exactly the same as the last time I'd seen her. Kanao, like the others, had grown slightly, but she looked the same for the most part. The one who looked the most different was Tanjiro. He was taller, but his hair was also much longer. He looked like a samurai. He patted Nezuko's back as she laid on top of me with her face buried in my chest.
Tanjiro: Hey, Nezuko be careful! Y/N's still bedridden, you know? They might be hurt.
Nezuko raised her head and looked up at me. She got off of me and stood next to the bed with Tanjiro. Her face looked the same, but she also looked to have gotten a little bit taller.
**I thought demons didn't age. Is she human again? What happened these last 2 years that I've been gone?**
Y/N: Hey guys. Long time no see.
Aoi: That's all you have to say after all this time?
Y/N: A little bit disoriented, sorry. Still tired too. I'm glad to see you all doing so well still. How long have I been out?
Someone grabbed my hand. I looked over and it was Tanjiro. He had the same innocence to him that he always did.
Tanjiro: Welcome back, Y/N. I knew you'd find your way back here eventually. You've been asleep for a few hours.
Y/N: That's it? Good. But Tanjiro, your hair.
Tanjiro: Oh, yeah I know. I haven't cut it in a while.
Y/N: It fits you.
Zenitsu and Inosuke poked out from behind Tanjiro.
Inosuke: It looks like my underling couldn't stay away for long.
Zenitsu: They're not here for you... Hey, Y/N. It's been a while.
Y/N: Inosuke, Zenitsu. I'm happy you guys are still well.
Inosuke: Of course I am!
Zenitsu squinted and stared at Inosuke.
Zenitsu: Define 'well'...
Y/N: Alive and growing. You fit the description.
Naho, Sumi, and Kiyo came closer to the bed and examined me. They were all a bit bigger now, but they were still as curious as they used to be. They had tears in their eyes. They must've been excited to see me again after so long.
Kiyo: Master Y/N, it's so nice to see you again!
Sumi: Have you been training a lot? Your build looks larger.
Naho: I noticed you have some scars too. You've been fighting a lot, haven't you?
Y/N: Wow, look how big you girls have gotten in just a couple of years.
I smiled. Regardless of what I tried to tell myself about this place, it truly felt like home and everyone here was my family.
Y/N: Yeah, I've been keeping busy. I may have had a few fights here and there...
**To say, 'a few' was definitely sugarcoating.**
Shinobu: Well, Y/N, I for one want to congratulate you!
Y/N: Congratulate me?
Shinobu: Yes. Don't think I haven't heard the news and the stories.
Everybody looked at Shinobu in confusion.
Kiyo: Lady Kocho, what might you be talking about?
Shinobu: Oh right, nobody here knows but Kanao and I, huh? It makes sense that as a Hashira I would've been informed.
I looked over at Kanao. She stood there with a smile on her face and waved when she caught me staring. I smiled at her.
**Kanao waved?! Without flipping the coin to decide if she should? She's improved on her social skills I bet.**
Shinobu: I have fascinating news to tell you all, then. Around 5 months ago, Y/N was reported to have done the unthinkable.
Zenitsu: You did the unthinkable?! Curse you, Y/N, you sly menace!
Tanjiro stared in disgust and confusion at Zenitsu.
Aoi: I don't know what you're thinking, Zenitsu, but Y/N would never...
Shinobu: Now, now you all. Let me finish. By unthinkable, I meant Y/N had slain over 60 demons on non-stop missions. Not only that, but they had saved many other Slayers while doing so.
Everybody's eyes were back on me now. The stares were out of amazement and awe. Even Kanao looked surprised.
Shinobu: So tales of Y/N's adventures spread through the Corps like wildfire. As a result, Y/N here has gained the title of "10th Hashira".
Inosuke: As expected of my underling!
Zenitsu: Wait, really?!
Tanjiro: Y/N, that's amazing!
I just smiled. I didn't know how else to respond to being put on the spot like that.
Y/N: Unofficially of course, but I think it's pretty cool that people think so highly of me.
Shinobu: I don't know what type of pain you put yourself through these last couple of years, but it definitely feels like I'm talking to a fellow Hashira when I talk to you.
**Seriously? That meant everything coming from her, but was she being for real, or was she exaggerating?**
Tanjiro: So, people call you the 10th Hashira? But aren't there only supposed to be 9 at a time?
Y/N: Yeah. I guess that the spelling for the word 'Hashira' includes the kanji for the number 9, so I think my rank would technically be Tsuguko or something?
Shinobu: That's correct, however, since you weren't fully trained by a member of the Hashira, you wouldn't be considered a Tsuguko. Your true rank is somewhere between Kinoe and Hashira. I'm proud of you, you know. I remember when you were just a baby-Slayer still trying to master Total Concentration Breathing Constant.
I smiled. I was happy to be with all of them again and they made it clear to me that I'd always have a place to return to even if I felt like I didn't deserve it.
Y/N: You all haven't changed a bit these last couple of years. It makes me feel warm inside to know that.
Shinobu: On this topic, you may be encouraged to know that some of your biggest fans came over a while ago to see if you were here.
Y/N: Fans?
**Who could she be talking about?**
Shinobu: Your top cheerleaders. Mitsuri Kanroji and Kyojuro Rengoku. When they heard the news about you, they excitedly rushed over here to congratulate you in person. You weren't here, obviously, but they didn't know that.
**So Mitsuri and Rengoku came through to see me, huh? That's nice to hear. Glad to know they're both still doing okay.**
Y/N: Maybe I'll go see them when I get out of this bed.
Shinobu: I'm sure they would both love that.
Y/N: Speaking of, do you all know exactly what's wrong with me?
Aoi: You haven't been taking care of yourself, that's what's wrong.
Y/N: How so?
Aoi: Sheesh, we thought it might've been something really bad, but you've got nothing worse than a fever.
Kiyo: You're also really sleep-deprived.
Naho: You haven't been sleeping much have you?
Y/N: Not really. I've been taking missions and fighting demons almost 24/7 for the last year.
Sumi: Year!? Yes, you need to stay here in bed and catch up on sleep.
Tanjiro: It's amazing that you haven't lost your sanity.
Zenitsu: I get really irritable when I don't get enough sleep.
I stared at Nezuko for a moment before averting my gaze.
Y/N: I guess I've been running on pure willpower.
I yawned and looked up at the ceiling. I was reminded of the first day I spent in this Butterfly Mansion.
Shinobu: Well, we should leave Y/N alone for the time being. Like we just covered, they need their sleep.
Y/N: Thanks, I'll take you up on that one.
Shinobu: Bye-bye now!
Shinobu left the room. Aoi followed behind her.
Aoi: The girls will be checking on you periodically. Tell them if you need anything.
Kiyo: Bye Master Y/N.
Sumi: Later!
Naho: See ya.
They all left the room. Kanao stayed behind for a bit.
Kanao: Hello, Y/N.
Y/N: Kanao, you're speaking without needing the coin!
Kanao: I got your letter from before. I have been practicing making decisions on my own.
Y/N: I'm so happy for you. So you no longer need the coin? What'd you do with it?
Kanao reached into her pocket and held up the coin.
Kanao: No, I still need it. I can only make few decisions on my own.
**A few is more than none, I'm proud of her.**
Y/N: Even still, it's nice to hear your voice again.
She smiled and bowed to us all before heading for the door.
Kanao: Sayonara.
She was still as spoken and seemingly shy as always, but she was speaking more than the last time I'd seen her and she was doing it on her own. Nezuko knelt down next to the bed and laid her head on it, looking up at me.
Y/N: Nezuko, hey what's going on?
She stared for a moment before her eyes widened and she jumped up. She ran out of the room and I heard her start running down the hall.
Tanjiro: Nezuko? Uhh, I'll be right back. I'm going to see where she's going.
Tanjiro left the room and chased off behind her. I was with Inosuke and Zenitsu now.
Zenitsu: Hashira Y/N. You know something, I never even figured out what Breathing Style you use.
Y/N: It's self-taught. It's called Gravity Breathing.
Zenitsu: Y/N, the Gravity Hashira.
Inosuke: A self-taught breathing just like my own! I expected no less of one of my finest underlings.
Zenitsu and Inosuke were always butting heads over something, but it was a friendly type of squabble. It felt more normal when they clashed opinions rather than when they agreed on something.
Y/N: Forget about me... You guys have gotten stronger and bigger too.
Inosuke: Aha! So you could tell!
Inosuke started to flex.
Inosuke: I wasn't wasting my time doing nothing.
Y/N: I can see that. Both of you.
Zenitsu tried to fight back a smile as he rubbed the back of his head and looked up.
Zenitsu: Who me? Couldn't be.
Y/N: Definitely! Your training has been paying off greatly.
I yawned again.
Zenitsu: Come on Inosuke. Let's leave Y/N alone.
Inosuke: Don't order me around!
Zenitsu: Oh shut up already and come on!
Y/N: Later guys...
It was a struggle, but Zenitsu finally got Inosuke out of the room. I laid there and closed my eyes. I felt like I could fall asleep in a matter of seconds. The door suddenly opened up again and people entered. I opened my eyes and looked over. It was Tanjiro and Nezuko.
Nezuko: Hmmm?
She had shrunk down to a smaller size and held up my journal as she walked over to the bed.
Tanjiro: Nezuko, I don't think now is a good time. Maybe when Y/N gets some more sleep.
**I think I have to agree with Tanjiro on this one.**
Y/N: Sorry, I'm just tired.
Tanjiro: It's perfectly okay! We can leave you alone for now.
Y/N: No, no it's fine. I can talk for a bit.
Tanjiro pulled over a chair while Nezuko laid her head on the bed again.
Tanjiro: I'll have you know, all of us have mastered Total Concentration Breathing Constant now.
Y/N: That's great news. Did you know that technique is actually something that not everybody can use? I thought it was just something anybody could learn.
Tanjiro: Yeah. Shinobu told us that a little while ago too. I guess we're just a really gifted bunch.
Y/N: You can say that again.
Tanjiro: I guess we're just a really gifted bunch.
**I wasn't being literal.**
Y/N: But Tanjiro, you know what?
I looked down at Nezuko who still had her gaze fixed on me. I lifted my arm and started to pet her head. She closed her eyes and looked like she could fall asleep there.
Tanjiro: What's up?
Y/N: When I first came back here, I was outside, right?
Tanjiro: Mhm?
Y/N: But Nezuko was the one who first found me... right?
Tanjiro: I wasn't there, but that's what I was told yes.
**That didn't add up.**
Y/N: So is Nezuko a human again?
I looked down at her. She was much smaller than normal.
Y/N: But then how can she still shrink like this? She's still a demon, right? So how was she outside during the day? What was that about?
Tanjiro looked over at her and then looked across the room at an umbrella sitting by the door.
Tanjiro: Yes, she's still a demon. However, since it's so cloudy out, she could go outside without worrying about the sun. It's risky, so we got her that umbrella just in case.
**It was cloudy out, that's right... I forgot because my vision was so blurry that all I could see was white anyways. Nezuko can go outside during the day if it's cloudy, and she's not just staying in her room all day anymore. Tanjiro himself even seems a lot more mature. Maybe they have changed a lot more than I thought.**
Y/N: Okay, I get it now. I said earlier that you all haven't changed, but I was wrong.
Tanjiro: Not completely wrong.
Y/N: I'm just glad to see you all doing so well.
Tanjiro: Are you doing well? I'm getting a weird scent from you. Is something bothering you?
**What was bothering me? A lot was, but I didn't exactly know what either.**
Y/N: Killing so many demons does a toll on your mental health.
I looked down at Nezuko. My arm was getting tired so I stopped petting her head and rested my hand there. She kept her eyes closed, so I assumed she must've fallen asleep.
Y/N: Especially after finding out what I did a few years back. I don't want to kill them anymore, Tanjiro. I thought I hated demons, but the only thing I can feel for them at this point is pity.
Tanjiro: That's a good thing. Nothing to be sad over. After all that you've been through, you still haven't gone cold. You didn't lose your heart.
I started petting Nezuko's head again and looked up at the ceiling.
Y/N: I couldn't.
Tanjiro hesitated, and out of the corner of my eyes, I saw him looking at me with a concerned look on his face.
Tanjiro: I'd love to talk more, but you look really tired. I want to give you your space.
Y/N: I'm fine, really.
Tanjiro: I know, but I just don't feel right keeping you up. I'll come to see you later on, okay?
Y/N: That's fine. See 'ya then.
He moved around the bed to where Nezuko was lying.
Tanjiro: Nezuko's really missed you. She wouldn't let go when we were trying to bring you in here earlier.
Y/N: She's so sweet.
Tanjiro: Your timing was incredible too. Today's her birthday and this must've been such a birthday surprise for her
**I wonder if Tanjiro might know the answer to a question I've been wanting to know for a while.**
Y/N: Tanjiro, you told me Nezuko sees people as her own family, correct?
Tanjiro: That's what I was told by Urokodaki.
Y/N: Like just as family members? Or as actual people that are a part of your family?
Tanjiro: Honestly, I'm not too sure myself.
Y/N: Oh.
Tanjiro: Why do you ask?
Y/N: I was just wondering who Nezuko might see me as.
Tanjiro: I'm curious myself. Other than me, I don't think she's ever been as close with somebody. But I know she wouldn't see you as me, because I'm still here. I'm not sure? Maybe she doesn't even see you as family, who knows?
**Yeah, who knows?**
Y/N: No clue. I was just a little curious is all. Don't stress it.
Tanjiro: We'll see you later then.
He held Nezuko to pick her up.
Nezuko: Mmm...
Tanjiro: Nezuko? Are you awake?
She didn't budge. She must've just been making sounds in her sleep.
Tanjiro: I bet she's having a good dream.
Y/N: She can stay if you don't want to wake her.
Tanjiro: Are you sure?
Y/N: Yeah, it's no bother to me. Will she be okay sleeping like that, though?
She was hanging off the side of the bed. I was amazed that she could fall asleep like that in the first place. Tanjiro knelt down and started to pet her head
Tanjiro: Happy birthday, Nezuko. I hope it was good.
He got back up.
Tanjiro: She'll be alright. She's made up her mind. I guess I'll come back later on. Be warned, if she wakes up before you then she might try to wake you.
Y/N: That'll be fine I won't be upset.
He smiled and stretched before heading for the door.
Tanjiro: I'll try to be back before that happens to save you the trouble. Rest well!
He left the room. Nezuko laid there sleeping and I decided I'd join her. Being back here felt normal and it felt right. It was almost as if I'd never even left. I closed my eyes and felt myself drifting away.
**Make sure to tell her happy birthday when you wake up.**
I fell asleep with no thoughts and no feelings except a warm, peaceful sense of belonging.
**All that time away, especially after leaving so abruptly... All of that and they still
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