Warning: sexual assault, rape, and self-harm ahead!!
It's been three days.
How do I know you might ask. Because I figured out that Viktor comes in everyday to ask me questions about Dante -which I answer with idiotic answers- and than Viper comes in later and quietly observes me.
Weird. I know.
I've gotten many blows to my face to where I'm pretty sure I have a black eye. My lips are cracked and my arms hurts from the amount of times I've tried to break myself free from these restraints. I've been throwing up every day -usually when I wake up- but Viper always sends someone in to clean it up.
Weird again. I know.
Viktor gave me water, said he didn't want me to die of dehydration before he gets what he wants. Whatever that might be.
I would be petty and spit the water in his face if I didn't need it so bad.
My days pretty much consists of waking up to having to throw up, Viktor coming in a while later and starting his interrogations -which leads to me getting multiple blows to the face- than him leaving when he gets nothing and me going back to sleep only to be awaken later when Viper comes in. Him silently watching me while I make sarcastic comments to his face. Than, him leaving and a maid or servant, whatever they are, coming in to silently clean up my vomit before I head back to sleep.
Life of being kidnapped is so fun.
I think they all think I'm crazy from how many times I laughed in Viktor's face when he hit me.
I don't laugh because I find it funny -well I kind of do but that's besides the point- I laugh because I know once I get out of here I will make him pay for it.
Asshole messed with the wrong bitch.
Leaning my head against the wall, I hear the door to my lovely room open and I know Viktor has arrived.
Just this time, there's more than two footsteps.
Opening my eyes, I see Viktor making his way over to me with a angry expression while a group of men follow behind him.
Fucking minions I swear.
"You seem upset. Did you finally look at your reflection?" I ask as Viktor comes to a stop in front of me.
He grabs the chair and sits down before leaning awfully close to me. "I'm not in the mood for anymore of your games. You're going to talk and you're going to talk now." he says and I try my best to keep my laughter in.
I don't give up one of my own. Not even for the devil himself.
"You got a couple more gray hairs coming in." I say as I look at his beard.
He slaps me across the face causing my head to whip to the side. "Where is Dante's main warehouse?" he seethes.
Looking back to him, I put on a thinking expression. "Im pretty sure you take a left down the street, than another left, than turn right up your ass." I say and I smile once a scowl takes place on his face.
Leaning my head to the side before he can hit me, my smile grows bigger when I feel his fingers barely slid over my cheek.
"You bitch." he spits as he forcefully grabs my hair and sends a punch to my skull.
I roll my eyes, trying to hide the fact that that punch actually hurt. "You're vocabulary isn't that big." I say as he pushes my head back causing it to bang into the wall.
Damn, I'm about to come out of here with no damn brain cells AND a concussion.
He says something in Russian to one of his men and they nod their head before walking out of the room.
"You know sharing is caring right?" I say, trying to bite back my smile. When he turns back to me with a look of confusion, I continue. "That's what your real parents said before giving you away but don't worry, one man's trash is another man's treasure." I pause for a second while looking over him. "A treasure of poison ivy is what you are." I add and once his face grows red, my laughter escapes. Leaning my head back, I hear a couple of his men chuckle before quickly covering it up with a cough or clear of a throat.
"You should've seen your face." I say as my laughter dies down and I look back at him to see him glaring at me.
I fake sympathy. "I'm sorry, I know the truth hurts sometimes. It gets better though, don't worry." I say but before he can send a blow to my head, the door opens and the same man that walked out, comes in.
Only this time with a phone in his hand.
"Are you going to take a picture? Wait hold on, does my hair look good?" I say as I whirl my head around, ignoring the severe pain that comes with that.
Viktor laughs an evil laugh.
Okay wicked witch of the west.
"Do you want to talk or are we going to take it the hard way?" he asks as I face him.
"I've been talking this whole time." I say with a shrug of my shoulders.
A smirk takes place on his face as he gets up, pushes the chair back, and begins unbuckling his pants.
Is he going to take a piss on me?
Shifting my attention to behind him, I see the same man standing in front of everyone with the camera of the phone pointed at us.
Oh god no.
As Viktor begins advancing to me, I keep a straight face and my head held high even though on the inside, I'm truly shitting myself.
Don't fucking do what I think you're going to do.
He grabs my arm harshly and pushes me to the side before grabbing my feet and dragging me as far as the chains go.
Once he gets down to his knees, I yank my foot out of his grasps and kick his chest causing him to go falling back.
He chuckles. "Not the big and bad Aria now are you? Hold her down." he says and I watch as four men step forward.
I begin scrambling in my spot as they approach me. "I swear on my mother's grave, if any of you touch me I'll make you regret ever being thought of."
I watch as half of the men smirk while the others keep a straight face. Kneeling down as well, two grab hold of my shoulders while the other two pin both my legs down.
Keeping them open at the same time.
"GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME!" I yell as I continue to move only causing them to hold me down tighter.
Please, no. Please.
Viktor's smirk only grows as he begins crawling on top of me. "You're last chance to talk." he says as his hands roam up and down my body and I can't do anything but lay there and let him due to the men holding me down.
I scowl. "Rot in hell." I say as I spit in his face.
He chuckles again before wiping his cheek and shaking his head. "This is your own fault than." he says as he begins ripping down my sweatpants along with my underwear.
I close my eyes, not willing to give him the satisfaction of seeing the fear in them, and scream. I scream for those around me who are watching to do something about it but I know deep down, they won't.
And that's the worst part.
I hear him unzipping his pants before bending over and gripping my neck. Blocking any air from entering my mouth.
"Look at me." he seethes and when I don't, I feel himself enter me and all my hope drains away.
Hope that there was some type of common sense in him for him to not do this to me. Hope that one of the 20 men in this room would yank him off of me. Hope that someone one defend the women being pinned to the ground and raped. Hope that this would all be a dream and I would wake up in Dante's arm.
Hope.
It's such a awful thing to have.
In a world as cruel as ours -especially when involved with the mafia- hope is as useless as trying to fight off a bear with your own hands. The only thing you can do is fight off your attacker. Win or lose, that's the only chance you have in situations like these. You could have the whole world witness it happen but yet no one would step in. Some would just walk by, some would stand there and watch, some would even record, but they won't step in.
You either get lucky and have that one person that truly does help you or you have your heart ripped out of your chest -just like your consent was stolen away from you- as you watch people pass by without a second look.
I open my eyes and look up to the roof, praying that somewhere up there, my mom isn't watching my weak self being pinned to down and raped
And that's when a tear escapes my eye.
It's not because of the situation I'm currently in, it's not because I was ripped from my lovers arms, it's not because my mother was ripped from mines.
It's because, deep in my head, I know she's somewhere watching me with tears in her eyes hoping she could help me.
I turn to the room around me that's filled with men. Even more than before. And I watch as every single one of them stands there -some with smirks, others with emotionless faces- and watch me. Watch as Viktor forced himself into me and continues to roam his hands under my shirt against my will.
But than my eyes land on Viper and I see the tinge of sympathy in his eyes as he watches the scene unfold.
Sympathy he has but yet he does nothing to help.
When his eyes meet mine and he sees the glare I'm sending him, he quickly hides that emotion in his eyes, turns around, and walks out of the door
And I watch. I watch as the only person that didn't treat me like absolute shit as I've been here, walks away and leaves me in the hands of a monster.
Once the door closes behind him, I shut my eyes to stop the tears that want to flow out, and it's only than does my hearing come back.
"-maybe this would teach you a lessen to answer correctly next time." Viktor says before he yanks himself out of me and buckled up his pants.
Standing up, the men that were pinning me down let me go, and Viktor stomps down on my stomach causing and abnormal amount of pain to ricochet throughout my body.
I keep the pain from my face as he stomps on my stomach one more time before saying "What happened today, is completely your fault. I'll make sure your boyfriend sees what went down as well." than walks out of the room with the rest of his men behind him.
Once the door closes behind them, I let out a ear piercing scream and push myself into a sitting position. Bringing my legs up to my stomach to try and stop the pain, I begin seeing a pool of blood by my area.
What the hell?
The pain increases ten folds and my screams grow louder.
It hurts. It hurts like hell and I don't know why.
Rape wouldn't cause that much amount of pain and neither will a kick to my stomach unless I'm-
No. I can't be.
Thinking back to if I missed my period this month, a frown settles on my face when I realize I did.
Dante always used a condom though.
Yet again, they sometimes don't work.
As I sit there, blood still leaving my area, everything begins to register and that's when I let out another ear piercing scream.
Not because of the pain in my head or throughout my body, but because I had a human inside of that I couldn't protect.
I was caring my child, Dante's child, and I allowed it to be murdered.
I allowed myself to be raped, to be kicked in the stomach when I had a little one in there. I should've figured out. The throwing up every morning when I haven't ate, the missing my period. I should've put the pieces together than maybe, I would've been able to protect it.
But I didn't and now my baby is dead because of it.
Because of me.
I let my child be killed without even being brought into this world. I let Dante's child be killed because I was to weak to fight off my attacker. Because I didn't try harder to free myself and push him away.
And I know Dante will never forgive me for this.
For not only being weak and getting raped, but for allowing our child to die in the process.
Was I ready to be a mother? No, but I still would've had that child and protected it with my whole life.
I couldn't even do that now what makes me think I would've been able to do that if it was brought into this world.
I've been through mental pain and I've been through a lot of it, but absolutely nothing compares to this. To having the child you were supposed to protect come seeping out of you as a liquid. To watching as your unborn child leaves you without ever even meeting you.
I squeeze my thighs together, trying to preserve whatever I have of my baby left, but it all just come spilling out.
And that's when the hollowness in my stomach hits.
It travels up and all around my body, making me feel nothing but the emptiness of my baby leaving me, till it crawls up my neck and makes me feel as if the world were ending.
The walls begin closing in on me, finishing off my baby and taking me with it, and I gladly wait for it to.
Because the pure evilness that was brought down to me today is something that will haunt me for the rest of my life. And that's something I don't have the strength to fight away.
He killed my baby and I sat there and let it happen.
And that thought alone makes me choke on a sob.
I lean my head down and cry. I cry for the lost of my baby, for the rape I just endured, for the hate Dante is going have for me when he finds out, and for the disappointment my mom would have for me being so weak.
The disappointment in myself for not being able to protect my own.
'Everything that happened today is your fault.'
It truly is.
I don't deserve life when I allowed a innocent ones to be take away from them before they ever got to experience it.
How is that fair?
How is it fair that the one that never even took its first breath was ripped from this world while I get to live?
It all hurts too much and I don't know how to cope with it. My bottle has broke, my heart has shattered, and my strength has vanished.
The tear continue streaming down my face -like a waterfall in works- and I begin rubbing my wrists against the wires around them. I rub and I rub until I feel blood drip down onto my hands and even than, I continue to rub.
I continue to rub before I close my eyes and I see a pair of familiar gray eyes looking back at me. Begging me to stop and continue to fight but the thing is, I have no fight left in me.
Every ounce of fight, determination, resistance, defiance, and opposition left my body as my baby did.
So I slack down and push those eyes away. I await for the darkness and when it gets there, I let it swallow me whole in hopes it is the last time it ever does.
Happy fucking birthday to me.
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This chapter was hard to right. I had tears in my eyes for like half of it😀.
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Love you all!!