It's an uneventful Friday, and I struggle miserably to keep myself present in transfiguration. The sun spotting the stone floors taunts me, further reminding me of the many hours of classes I have left. I hope to go outside today during dinner, before the dappling sun begins to sink beneath the earth and beyond, casting us into night.
When the bell rings, I can feel my entire body rousing from its catatonic state, and I stand up faster than I mean to. I lock eyes with Professor McGonagall as I do so, and I grin sheepishly. She only shakes her head in amusement and returns my smile. She seems to be understanding of my haste to get through the school day quickly.
I head out of the classroom before anyone else, despite having sat nearer to the back of the classroom further from the door. The stampede closely follows me, though, and I slow to wait for Pansy and Draco to catch up with me before the three of us make our way to our most eventful class of the day. I wonder how Umbridge is feeling today.
Pansy is giggling at me. "Was your arse on fire? You nearly flattened a few people to get to the door, I think."
I tut with disapproval as we clamber through the crowded corridor. As usual, the other students seem to part for the three of us as if they have a sixth sense. "You're being dramatic," I state plainly. "I just want this day to be over. The weekend can't come soon enough." I reflect on our first week of school. It's been eventful, but unfortunately, not in positive ways. I'm more than ready to kick back and relax with my people.
"So do I," Pansy reasons, "But I don't mow people over to get to it."
We reach Umbridge's classroom and take our seats just before the second bell chimes. The rest of the students seat themselves quickly. No one wants to snag a weekend detention with Umbridge. I don't blame them. My fate is already sealed, however, so I don't bother with formalities.
Umbridge is flitting about the front of the class, and I watch her with disinterest. Whatever lesson she has planned, I not only intend to ignore it, but I fully plan on hijacking it as a sort of Friday grand finale. I've already got that under control, though. Today I won't even have to open my mouth to set off complete chaos.
I examine my nails in boredom as I wait for the old woman to get to the point. As her nasally voice shrills, demanding for the already silent class to settle down, I grimace. I already feel a headache coming on. I just hope I can cut this short effectively.
Sure enough, less than five minutes into her obnoxious and entirely unproductive blabber, a window close to her desk swings open with jarring shrieks from the rusted hinges. Umbridge turns to investigate. At first, there's nothing to see at the window. The sunlight sets a serene picture, as though there's nothing to suspect, and within moments, Umbridge has already moved on from the distraction.
Suddenly her pink tweed hat lifts from her voluminous brown curls, and her face freezes in horror. I lean forward, propping my elbows on my desk, in order to get a better view of the drama.
Her hat is flung high into the air and catches on part of the hanging candelabra above our heads. Almost no one reacts, and the sea of teenage onlookers allow Umbridge to panic on her own.
Her head is suddenly smacked forward, and then a pixie darts up to pull her back by her hair as she's knocked off balance. It yanks back as if bringing a horse to a halt, and clumsily, Umbridge's fall changes direction. A hoard of pixies enter through the open window in military formation and begin to target anything of hers they can get their hands on.
Umbridge is screaming, unintelligible words being flung from her lips in short jumbles, but nothing is distinctive. Some students quickly slink out the door and out of the classroom, seizing the opportunity to get a good hour of free time before the last classes of the day. It goes unnoticed for the most part, and it doesn't take long for more to follow suit.
Finally Umbridge is shouting for all students to leave. I smile. I'm done here. I even paid the pixies in advance for their work. I manage to slip away just before I hear her demand for a few students to assist her in getting the pixies under control; Harry, Ron, and Hermione. I snicker. It's just the icing on the cake. Suddenly my Friday is looking pretty good.
I take the opportunity to go for a stroll in one of the courtyards. Draco and Pansy opt for smuggling food and alcohol from the school kitchen, and so I'm alone in my wanderings. I'm perfectly fine with that. Clouds flow smoothly over the glassy blue backdrop of the sky in generous tufts of cottony white. Flowers still bloom, planted around trees and stone benches. The leaves are just beginning to turn, lush green streaked with hints of gold and red. I breathe in the sweet smelling air, and for once, I feel complete peace fill my body.
I find a bench to sit on and pull Millie's notepad from my book bag. I open it up to the first page, and Millie's lively penmanship fills it top to bottom in smooth black ink. I read through the sweet note she writes for me every year.
My dear Noir,
I miss you already! The manor is so empty without you. However, as you know, my sister Delia is going to be moving in mid September, so when you come home for break, she'll be here to keep us both company.
I smile at that. I've met Delia quite a few times. She works as an auror in America, in New York City, but she's taken on more than a few overseas missions, bringing her to the U.K. and into our home. I adore her as I adore Millie. Though the sisters are vast in their personality differences, they complement one another perfectly and are as close as two sisters can be. Delia is like a second godmother to me. This year, though, she's officially moving into the manor with us, as she's making a permanent move to the British Ministry as their newly appointed chief auror. I only wish I could be there for her arrival.
I keep reading.
You know me, honey. I've filled this notepad with goodies of every sort. From my own potions to some of my favorite spells, I hope I give you much to learn and put to use. You're such a bright girl, Noir. I trust that you will use these wisely. You've never let me down in that. Please give yourself every opportunity to learn this year. You won't have school forever. Make the most of it, okay?
Please write me whenever you can! I love to hear everything. Don't hesitate to reach out if you need me. I am here to listen to anything you have to say. I'm always here for you, sweetheart. You're not on your own anymore. You will never be alone again. That is my promise to you.
Much love,
Millie
I'm smiling idiotically by the time I've finished reading her brief note. She's right; I'm no longer alone. For the first time, I have people. I have a home. I have a place. No matter how much time goes by, the wonder of it remains. I'm not sure if I'll ever fully get used to it.
I begin to read the things she teaches me through her writings every year. She always has something new and interesting for me to learn. I carefully read over a few potion instructions, mentally tally which ingredients I can get my hands on easily and how I can attain the rest some other way, then check the time on my phone, which is barely readable in the beaming sunlight.
It's nearly time for potions. I lovingly tuck Millie's notepad into my bag and stand slowly. I give one last glance around the courtyard before making my way inside the castle.
I find Pansy and Draco lingering near some stairs. They've both been feasting on wine-infused chocolate, and Draco offers me a few pieces as I approach. I accept it and bite into one of the squares of the sweetly rich chocolate. I can taste the distinct flavor of white wine interlaced with the milky, creamy chocolate itself. I close my eyes momentarily in appreciation.
"You'd be surprised at what they have stashed for the teachers," Pansy informs me, hopping off of the stair railing and jumping down the last few stairs to land in front of me. "Anyway, let's get going. Draco, I'm sorry, but I don't want to be having detention with your mum all weekend. Let's move."
Draco mumbles a bit, and we head off. The second bell rings before we reach the dungeons. We race the rest of the distance and clatter through the propped classroom door, a jumble of flushed faces and labored breaths.
Narcissa is watching us, utterly unimpressed. Her arms are crossed tightly across her ribcage as she stares us down. We each slink to our desks and try to look anywhere but at her.
"Care to explain your tardiness?" she demands of us. Of course she wouldn't be letting us off the hook.
"Restroom," I pipe up quickly. Draco and Pansy nod in unison, looking sincere enough. Narcissa pauses, as if considering the evidence, then concedes. "Be sure it doesn't happen again," she says more calmly.
"Yes ma'am," is our near synchronized reply.
We're studying our textbooks today, rather than concocting any potions. I look over the material idly. It's all something I've already learned, so I get ready to mentally check out for the rest of the class.
But something seems off. I keep looking up at Narcissa, trying to pinpoint exactly what about her is bothering me, nagging at me incessantly. Nothing sticks out, but I refuse to give up until I find out what it is that is out of place.
Finally I begin to piece it together. Her cheeks are more flushed than usual. Her eyes keep darting over to Atticus. I glance back at him subtly, but he's doing nothing to be drawing her attention like that. My eyes narrow as I return my focus to Narcissa. Her eyes have a sort of glaze over them, and her voice is sort of drifting. I see that she's breathing a little hard, and her fists keep balling here and there. She tries to hide the tightening of her fists by pulling them behind her back and out of sight.
I know these symptoms. Millie has given me dozens of talks about them. It's always important to know the signs if you don't want disaster.
Has someone slipped her a love potion? A strange feeling bubbles up within me. It's a sort of darkened heaviness. It's brooding with fury. A protectiveness I've never felt so strongly tenses up my entire body as I survey her body language with honed accuracy. It does seem to be the case.
My brain races through the possibilities. Atticus seems to be entirely oblivious to what's going on, and I can't see him being the type to drug a professor with a love potion. As conceited as he is, I just know he doesn't have the selfish cruelty to do such a thing. Besides, he is far more focused on me than on our new professor. So I try to search for other answers.
Flashes of Darwin's threats from a few days ago begin to haunt my mind. I look back at him, and he's definitely hyper focused on Narcissa. It makes sense. He knows the best way to get to Draco is through his mom. He also knows that he has to direct her passion to someone else in order to go undetected. He's certainly pissed enough to do it. The more I think about it, the more certain I become; I need to kick Darwin's ass as soon as fucking possible.
Narcissa stops the class early, and she seems to be in distress as people leave the room. I don't make a move to stand. Draco looks at me questioningly, but I wave at him dismissively. "I'll catch up," I tell him. "I have a few questions about the lesson."
My excuse doesn't arouse suspicion, as Draco knows how obsessed I am with potions. He chortles, mouths "nerd," and saunters off without a second thought.
Now it's just me and Narcissa in the room. Oddly enough, she doesn't seem to notice me whatsoever. I watch on as she leans against her desk shakily. She's looking at the empty doorway as if she's forcing herself not to walk through it, like she's fighting an overwhelming desire to go after someone. I figure it's Atticus she's thinking about. I feel a pang of guilt. I somehow feel responsible for this. She buries her face in her hands and moans miserably. Her legs nearly collapse under the focus it takes her to stay in place.
"Professor?" I try, my voice tender. It spooks her anyway, and her eyes flash up to me. It's the first time I've ever seen her look afraid. It hits something deep within me, and my anger at her predicament doubles. I don't care the reason; this is far crossing any line. And to pull poor Mrs. Malfoy into it, as well. It's disgusting. It certainly is a dirtily low blow.
Narcissa's reddened cheeks only grow darker. I shake my head quickly and begin to approach her in the same way one would approach a timid fawn. She tenses her entire body at my approach. I can see the shame that clouds her eyes, threatening to crush her.
When I get close enough, I very carefully grasp her upper arm just lightly enough to ground her. "Please, professor, just let me help. I know what's going on."
It's as if something bursts within her. I am horrified as I watch tears muddle her doe eyes. I pull her towards me a little and she relents, leaning into me for support. Her entire body is trembling. She's never seemed so small as she does now. I realize how petite she is. She usually holds herself with such commanding presence, it's easy to overlook her rather small size.
"Oh my god, Noir," she whispers, which comes out in a high pitch as she buries her face in the crook of my neck. "I'm so humiliated. How can I think like this?" She sniffles a little.
I wrap my arms around her comfortingly. "No, no, this isn't your fault," I remind her sweetly. I smooth her hair a little. I can feel perspiration on her neck and forehead. "You know better than any of us what love potions do to a person. But this isn't you, Narcissa." I risk using her first name, despite it being school hours. I just need for her to know I'm here and that I understand. I figure it personalizes it if I refer to her by her first name. It might help, if only a tiny bit.
Narcissa nods frantically into my shoulder. "Yes, you're right," she mutters. Her arms tighten around me as she tries to ground herself. I reciprocate the added pressure. She repeats it like a mantra under her breath a few times. "You're right. You're right. You're right."
I look around, but don't find any place to effectively calm her down. "Would you mind if I accompanied you to your room?" I ask, my tone apologetic. "I don't mean to intrude, but..."
"Yes, please," Narcissa responds immediately.
I support her as we make our way through the halls. At this time, everyone's either in their designated classes, or in the case of my own classmates, onto their own activities elsewhere in the castle. We make it to her room without being seen. I'd pulled her into shadows whenever I spotted anyone. I know she'd be mortified to be seen this way, let alone with a student holding her tightly as she's guided to her own living quarters.
I all but lay her down on her bed and grab a throw blanket from the chaise by the fireplace, which is empty and cleaned, bare and rather chilly. I helpfully cover her with the soft white throw before moving to fetch her a glass of water. She accepts the glass shakily and drinks slowly. I help steady her hand as she keeps the glass at her lips to keep the liquid from sloshing onto her.
"Do you have a cauldron?" I ask. Narcissa nods and points to a closet close by. I nod and stride over to it to investigate.
Soon, I've got the cauldron pulled out and placed in the hearth with a decent sized fire burning beneath. Narcissa points out her cupboard of ingredients, and I busy myself selecting the ones I know will help her recover from the effects of the love potion. I brew up a particularly potent antidote with a few of Millie's personal touches as quickly as I can. Thankfully, it isn't a lengthy process, and only takes a little under six minutes.
I grab a glass from her cupboard and ladle some of the potion I've brewed into the tall cup. I bring it over to Narcissa. I've added a few things to give the potion a more pleasant taste, and so she doesn't so much as flinch as she downs it in one swig. I watch her sadly. I can see her petrified desperation to get this all over with. I can practically feel her emotions as if they're my own. She's mortified. She's angry at herself. She's scared.
Soon enough, the potion has taken its desired effect, and Narcissa is lying quietly on her bed, holding a pillow tightly to her chest. I'm sitting on the foot of the bed, and I look at her kindly. "Narcissa," I speak up.
She looks at me, and her eyes are dulled in defeated resignation. "Yes, dear?"
"I don't mean to leave you on your own - trust me, I'd rather stay - but I'm going to find out who is responsible for slipping you that potion. I have a few suspicions."
Curiosity lights the flame behind her eyes and she nods as I stand. I can tell she wants to inquire further, and I'm grateful that she resists. I don't want her to get involved, as I'm about to end Darwin. He's as good as dead. There's no need to get her caught any further in the crossfire.
I feel the anger surging relentlessly through my veins as I stalk the corridors, hoping to run into Darwin. I know it's time for my detention with Umbridge, but to hell with the ugly old prune. This is the most important thing to me right now. I don't care about whatever the wicked woman cooks up as punishment for my absence. She can do whatever she wants. Pain is not a concern of mine. Physical pain is superficial, anyway. It's funny the bitch thinks it's going to break me.
Finally, I'm heading for Study Hall. It's optional on Fridays, but I want to double check anyway. I walk through the aisles and tables of the library, even peering into the locked off section, but there isn't a sign of Darwin anywhere.
Fine, then. I'll bring the fight right to his front door. I climb and climb up to the Gryffindor tower. Having been here countless times with the Weasley twins, I know the secret passageway to the Gryffindor common room. I settle myself against the wall across from the portrait of the Fat Lady. I stretch out like a cat. There's no need to hurry. I have enough fury to keep me waiting here for the entire day, if need be.
I ignore the suspicious looks the Fat Lady keeps tossing my way, and instead focus on my shoes for a while. Then I think about all the ways I can hurt Darwin. Beating him up is only step one, of course; he's got a lot more coming to him than just a good beating.
Footfalls begin at the bottom of the staircase just around the corner, and I perk up hopefully, leaning forward a little in anticipation. Is it him? I offer the Fat Lady a smile as she studies me thoroughly, and even give her a little wave. She frowns back in befuddlement, but nods her head anyway.
It feels as though it takes forever to whoever is coming up the stairs to reach the top, but they finally do. I can hear multiple footsteps and multiple voices conversing casually. The group turns the corner. There's four rather large boys, and sandwiched in between is none other than Darwin himself.
The entire group slows when they see me. Darwin is the first to take notice of me, and he laughs loudly. His eyes are alight with glee. I glower at him.
"Did Narcissa like my little present?" He asks coolly, folding his arms over his chest and posturing a little.
That's all it takes to enrage me enough to charge. I entirely forget about my wand and instead take him in a body tackle. The boys around him step away quickly, but start hooting and laughing as they watch the events unfold.
"YOU'RE DEAD," I scream unabashed as I litter him with punches. He's bringing his fist up to the side of my head in decently powered blows, but I can't feel a single thing besides my near blackout rage. I hardly even register the fact that the Fat Lady seems to be yelling for me to stop. "I'M GOING TO KILL YOU."
Then, suddenly, I'm lifting up into the air and off of Darwin's chest. I register dimly two separate pairs of burly arms wrapping around each of my upper arms and picking me up by my armpits. They lift me as if I weigh no more than a small stone on a beach. I get in one last kick before I'm lifted too high to swing my legs at my victim, and manage to catch Darwin in the balls. Hard.
He recoils on the ground, his twisted face letting out silent yells, his mouth agape. His face is red. I'm not sure if it's from pain or anger, or maybe even from embarrassment. I don't care, though.
"Let me murder the piece of shit," I practically spit at the two large Gryffindor boys that are dangling me midair. My legs are swinging relentlessly. "Did he tell you what he did? I'm going to stab the life out of him." I'm breathing very hard, but not from overexertion. With nowhere to go, my adrenaline is deepening my breaths and quaking my body. I'm trembling with the hatred I feel almost crushing me.
My words pull no reaction from my captors, and with a sinking feeling, I realize they're in on it, too. Blood drains from my face as I realize Narcissa had more than just one person targeting her. And now I've shown them all exactly how much I care for the woman. Now they know they kill two birds with one stone when they victimize her; both me and Draco.
My realization makes me feel sick to my stomach, and I dangle limply as my brain reels. These sick bastards. I stare at each of them, and they look back without expression, without remorse; not a single ounce of it. I inhale slowly, then let it out audibly, trying to calm my body.
Darwin is on his feet, and his wand is pointed at me. "This is only the start," he sneers. Then he winds up, and I recoil in anticipation. "Stupefy!" All I see is a red flash hurtling towards me, and I look down as it hits me square in the chest.
***
I wake in the hospital wing. It's highly disorienting. Anxiety is thundering through me, and I feel hot tears burning my eyes. I'm afraid now. Those boys have brought Narcissa into this, and now, they're not about to take her out of it.
Stupid girl, I think to myself furiously. You just have to charge into everything fists first, don't you? You've only made things worse.
This is all your fault, an even more hideous voice adds helpfully. If it weren't for you, none of this would have happened. As if that isn't bad enough; now you've gone and made it even worse.
I startle when I see Madame Pomfrey hovering over me. I hadn't seen her approach. She looks down at me and tuts.
"Mr. Malfoy and Miss Parkinson have only just left. Walked out that door not ten minutes ago." She shakes her head sympathetically. "No matter. You seem to be faring well enough. It wasn't a terrible spell, considering." She eyes me and chuckles. "And if I may say so, it was poor wand work, at that. You'll be just fine, dearie."
As if she's given me the okay, I hop to my feet in a flash and only just avoid tripping over the thin hospital blankets covering me. I see my wand on my bedside table and snatch it up quickly. Madame Pomfrey opens her mouth to protest, but closes it back up quickly. She knows me well enough to understand there is no stopping me. So she reaches for a chocolate bar on a table near my bedside and breaks off a piece of it. She hands it to me, and I accept.
"At least eat that, won't you?" she asks.
I nod. "Thanks, Madame Pomfrey," I chime sweetly. Then I'm turning to bolt for the door, stuffing the piece of chocolate she gave me into my mouth at the same time.
I reach the dining hall in record time, and I'm happy to see that everyone is already in the dining hall for supper. I hasten to the Slytherin table and find that Pansy and Draco have so graciously saved me a seat.
Pansy's black-brown eyes spot me first. Her palm comes down on the table. "I knew it'd be less than fifteen," she shouts in Draco's direction. She juts out a hand, palm up, and Draco rolls his eyes and takes a single galleon from his pocket. Pansy takes it proudly.
I shake my head at them. "So my hospitalization is nothing more than a bet, now?" I joke. I sit down in the saved spot. "Real friends, right there."
Draco pats my back. "At least now Pansy has enough money to buy a box of Bertie Bott's Every Flavored Beans," he reassures me with a grin. "Consider it as more of a charity run."
Pansy launches a piece of her chicken at him, but he catches it in his hand and wipes it off onto his napkin next to his plate without so much as a bat of an eye. I giggle wickedly at the pair of them. They're already making me feel better, and the tight knot of guilt is loosening ever so slightly in my chest.
I glance over at the Gryffindor table and see that Darwin and his buddies-in-crime are talking in low voices as they repeatedly glance in my direction. I slowly drag my index finger across my throat as I grin at them. "Dead," I mouth.
When I turn forward again, Pansy is looking at me, her fork frozen only halfway to her mouth. She gapes at me. "What was that?" she demands.
I sigh. I had wanted to tell the both of them in the safety of the Slytherin common room, but now the pair of them are staring at me expectantly, and I at least owe it to Draco to spill what has happened. I just hope as hard as I can that Draco will keep his cool. Every last professor is present; even Narcissa herself.
"Remember yesterday when I told you about Darwin threatening me?" I begin. They both nod, and I lean forward. "I noticed in potions class that -" I look at Draco and cringe. I don't want to tell him, but I must. "Well, I noticed that Professor Malfoy - uh, your mom - was acting strangely."
Draco's face is already whitening.
"I checked up on her afterwards and, um, someone slipped her a love potion."
"WHAT?" Draco roars. His fist slams hard onto the table as he stands up, and plates scatter everywhere. His own drops to the floor and shatters into dozens of pieces.
Much of the dining room has quieted to watch Draco. I quickly stand up, too, and try to grab his shoulders. "Not now," I hiss, my fingers clenching down hard as I do so.
"Not now?" rages Draco. I flatten my gaze to glare at him. "Not now? Then when, Noir? I'm going to -"
Pansy has come up behind him, and subtly, her hand clamps over his mouth before he can promise Darwin's death to half of the Hogwarts students. We guide him to the dining hall, my wand discreetly pressed to his back to remind him that I'll take him down if I need to, just to protect him. I glance back when we reach the double doors. Everyone is still staring, including the professors. Narcissa is looking on despairingly, a mixture of shock and shame. She would be dumb not to know exactly what all of this was about. My own guilt gnaws at me. I should have told Draco in private. Perhaps not at all. Narcissa can not possibly feel okay about her own son, of all people, or anyone, for that matter, knowing what had happened to her.
Once we've put distance between us and the dining hall, both Pansy and I let him go. He paces, his fists clenched and shaking. I am afraid for a moment that he'll break his own fingers from the pressure he's putting on them.
I don't hesitate to continue the rest of my story. "Don't worry, I got an antidote whipped up pretty quickly and she was better. But I went up to Gryffindor tower to confront -"
"You idiot," Pansy cuts in. She grabs my shoulders and shakes me a little bit. Her eyes are wide in concern. "You could have turned out a hell of a lot worse. What were you thinking, going up there alone?"
I finish in a single rush of breath. "And Darwin came up, and I beat him up, but his friends stopped me and - fuck - they're in on it too." I look fearfully at Draco. "And then the bastard stupefied me." I feel my eyes pricking again. "Draco, I've made everything so much worse! It's all my fault." A tear slips. "Fuck, what have I -"
"Noir," Draco exclaimes strongly. He pulls me against his chest as I let out a weak little sob. "It's not your fault; it's mine. You stepped in to save my ass. The rest is on him, not you. The fucking bastard." I know he wants to say more about Darwin, but words are failing him. I understand that. Words had failed me too when I tried to express my anger to Darwin. I had wanted to verbally rip him to pieces, but all I could say is, "I'll kill you, I'll kill you." Too often, words are not nearly enough.
The three of us rush to the Slytherin common room and spread out on the couch. None of us have calmed down. Putting in every last ounce of hatred we feel into our cause, we plan the demise of Darwin and his buddies.