The tall figure in front of me tore his gaze away and slowly walked back to his seat. Usually messy raven hair, now tamed and dark brown in the sun, his piercing green eyes darting back to me, pity emanating from them.
It was my turn. But I was paralyzed. I knew I had to move my legs, but it just wasn't happening.
But why should I be forced to move anyway? It would be a social norm to walk in place of the person in front of you, however this particular situation, while technically social, wasn't exactly normal. I conclude that I should have the privilege of freezing on the spot, under these circumstances.
Suddenly, everything comes back into focus. My limbs seem to functions as intended. I flex my fingers as a test.
I past, with flying colors.
I purse my lips and take in a deep breath.
It was time.
It seemed like I floated to where the opening was. Where it was a social norm for people to stand.
For a moment, I glanced into the distance, taking in as many details as possible.
I closed my eyes and move my head, so that when I open them it would be looking downwards.
God, I don't want to do this. If I do it, then it will be confirmed. And I don't want it to be confirmed. And if it's confirmed, then it means it's permanent. And if it's permanent, Merlin!
Deeply inhaling, I open my eyes.
There he was. His lively ginger hair lay limp on the starched pillow. His eyes were closed, almost like he was sleeping. His usually rosy lips was pale, cracks between the lines of the skin. His face was grey, almost blue. It looked like he was some kind of vision, like he was ethereal.
There were scratches on his face. Small, jagged line running deep into his skin.
It looked painful. Thank Merlin he isn't here to feel it.
He isn't here.
I was emotionless for a split second, unwillingly drinking in the sight of him. The last sight I would have of him.
My lower jaw quivers, and a lump forms in my throat. I bite my lip in an attempt to stop the quivering.
A violent blue wave of emotions crashes into me. The foamy water filling my brain, swirling around each cell. It take a second for my body to produce tears.
Everything around me fades, my attention on him.
Then, the stinging sensation from the corner of my eyes start.
Salty sadness fill from the bottom of my eyes, quickly blurring my vision.
I exhale, a ragged breath shakily let out.
I stare at the lifeless corpse of my lover. Former lover now.
I can do nothing but let the tears roll down my face, making no effort to brush them aside. There's no use. I've discovered that yesterday.
Soon, warm tears run down my hot face in a steady stream. My chest is heaving, my heart beating violently. My body was now stooped over the casket.
The pounding on my temples are unbearable. Pressure in my head builds.
Why, Fred.
You promised.
You promised we would live together.
What a lie.
You promised we would have a family together.
What a lie.
You said we would have a beautiful future, together.
What a lie.