🥀
!TW!
Yelling
Panic Attacks
Mentions Abuse
KOKICHI POV
I peeked through the slightly open door, watching Shuichi figure out a case
"Kokichi...I'm almost finished this case, ok? As soon as I finish this one, I can go onto the next few and get them done-"
"Then the whole cycle repeats again. You need a break Shu...You're overworking! You haven't slept for 3 days! You need a break-"
"Will you shut up!? I'm trying to finish this! I don't have time for you to be here! Just do me a favour and leave! For once in your life, be useful!"
I stared at Shuichi, the memory replaying in my mind. I'm a little scared of him now, because all the yelling reminded me of my parents when I was younger. I shook my head, erasing the thought from my mind. I didn't want to remember them. The people who hurt me for there own entertainment and used me for money.
I observed as Shuichi's pencil was moving rapidly, writing down notes while he continued typing paragraphs on his computer. I sighed. Maybe a bit too loudly. Shuichi turned his head to look at me, as I gulped and sprinted away. I didn't want to make him mad again.
My feet halted when I reached the kitchen. I wanted to make him lunch, but I feared I would make too much noise, just like when I was 5, and prepared dinner for my parents. I quivered at the thought of getting scolded and shouted at again.
I decided to just go lay down for a bit, to clear my head a little. I climbed onto the bed and spread myself out under the bedsheets. It pained my heart to think of my lover yelling at me, and I felt like I wasn't loved any more.
I was trapped in my thoughts until I heard the door open, and Shuichi enter the room. I hid under the silky covers of the bedsheets, whimpering a little. I watched as a hand crawled under the covers and lifted them up a little. Shuichi peered under the covers, staring at me in confusion. I tensed up; did I do something wrong? I huddled into a ball and hid my face behind my arms.
"What are you doing under there Kokichi?"
He seemed confused, maybe he doesn't remember what he did. I had a burning desire to just jump into my lovers' arms, snuggle close to him and hear his comforting heartbeat. But this thought was rejected as my trust issues kicked in.
What if he's just trying to get my trust again so he can break my heart?!
What if he's luring me into a trap!?
What if he just wants me to come out so he can hit me?!
What if-
"Kokichi!"
Shuichi tried to get my attention. I snapped out of my thoughts. I failed to notice that he had grabbed me from under the blankets and held me gently in his arms. I wiggled and struggled to get out of his grip, as he yelled at me to calm down. He ran his fingers through my hair, attempting to make me relaxed. This just startled me more and my breathing sprang out of control. My fingernails prodded into my skin, and the pink fluid unwelcomely escaped from my skin. I began to beg Shuichi uncontrollably to let me go, afraid he would do something bad to me. In result, he hugged me tighter, his heartbeat able to be heard even through my hectic panicking. He sat down on the bed and loosened his grip, yet not letting go. I leaned back in his arms, trying to escape his grasp.
"Kokichi calm down! I'm not gonna hurt you!"
Shuichi reassured me, which made me relax a little more. He smiled at me, knowing all I wanted to do was leap into his arms and cry into his chest. His smile made my urge to hug him worse. About 3 minutes later, I couldn't hold back anymore. I launched myself forward, leaning into his touch as he lovingly kissed my forehead and tapped my nose teasingly. I sniffled into his chest as I blushed from his previous actions. I love him a lot, and I was so scared to loose him. He was my everything.
"Shu...You won't leave me...Right?"
He rapidly shook his head, rubbing my back as I snuggled closer into his chest.
"Hey...I'm sorry about what I said, this detective work has just been stressing me out a lot..."
He confessed, yawning a bit in the middle of the sentence. He gradually stood up, wobbling a bit. He took a few steps forward, until he was unable to go any further, due to me latching onto his arm.
"Where are you going?"
I interrogated him as his tired eyes peered back at me. He smiled back at me, clearly exhausted.
"To get a coffee..."
He muttered under his breath, incapable of putting emotion into his words. I pulled my lover back down into the bed and planted myself on top of his stomach, cuddling closely and not giving him permission to get up.
"You need rest...Silly!"
I lectured him as he eventually drifted off into a deep sleep, hugging me ever-so tightly. My eyes slowly closed as I drowsily nodded off to sleep as well, the warmth in between us providing as a motive to help us feel comfortable and gain sleep.
Word Count: 916
I apologize, this was rushed and it is currently 11:10pm where I am. Also, I am kinda running out of ideas so I might not post as much. See ya!