A beautiful morning it is but though still angry about jawaad not replying my message but why I'm I angry anyways when our relationship has no title.
Well it's been a while and so I decided to plug my AirPods on to chill my wild mind to prevent it from getting unlatch...
Coming out in a pair of jeans with a white calvin Klein shirt and my hair parked in a high bon leaving the tail move with my body in every step.
I was heading to the kitchen with my head hung low when Asif,Arif and Akram jump unto my body making me pause my music,I looked up to them with a questioning brow and they look up pointing their fingers at jawaad,I looked up and was about to talk when I remembered my hair was open in the wide and I'm wearing a jeans,I quickly ran to my room panting heavily...I smiled a little recalling how his eyes craved for my long hair and how it stare amazingly.
"I get it sure I'm mad"
I brought out a blue open up abaya and added atop with a matching veil before heading for the door.
"Assalamualaikum good morning to y'all"I said in greeting and they answered in unison
"Waalaikumu salam morning too Reyna"
"Why do you call her that?Asif asked with a confused look.
"It means queen"jawaad said with a hearty smile.
"Awwww you're his queen"Akram said with her daydreaming eyes.
"She's your queen huh?"Arif said raising a brow teasingly while I stood their rooted in my spot knowing it's the end of me cx this smart kids won't let that name be.
"So you guys ready?"
"What?"I asked with a confuse brow.
"We're going for our last outing you're going back to school this week right?"
"Yeah"
"Sorry jawaad but the kids won't be joining you"mama said while walking into the living room.
"But why mama?"they have lessons to attend to,i suggest you two should go have fun"She said the last part with a cheesy smile.
"We can cancel the meeting for another day"I said with a straight face.
"No I suggest you both should go,besides you won't have much time from tomorrow we have a lot of shopping's to do"
"Okay then we'll be going now"jawaad said with a short smile.
"Have a nice day"mama said and left before I could protest.
"Shall we?"I went ahead without given him an answer and played on my music "you"by omah lay was on the current play and I felt as if that song was specially just for me.
"What's wrong Amaani?"jawaad asked after a long silence.
"Not the right time"I said while pausing my music.
"Should I drive back?"
"And why is that?"
"You seem angry of what I don't even know,can we be clear pls"
"It's nothing"
"You ain't good at lying"I was about to give a reply when halima's call came through and I picked immediately.
"Where are you?"
"Huh slow down their,anything wrong?"
"I texted you that I was coming through IG yesterday"
"Sorry I didn't log in yesterday"
"Mama told me you went on a date?"
"A...whaaat?"
"No it's not"
"Well I guess you're in a whole lot of trouble,get a good explanation for yourself"
"Come meet me at snap cafe and resto ASAP"
"I can't spoil your date"
"Don't be naive girl"
"There's a problem by the way"She said and hung up.
"Why did you call me your fiancé the other day?I'm I worth it?"
"It's the first thing that came to my mind,no offense"
"And the guy?Aymaan huh?"
"He's no one"
"He confessed to you and you turned him down the other day"
"I don't feel the same"
"He's feelings looks genuine and I'm sure he'd do anything to kill me,you got me in a whole lot of trouble you know?"
"I'm sorry..."
"Just joking"
"Do you have a girlfriend?"
"Uhmm...maybe"and my heart is broken....
"Yes or no?"
"Yes"That's the end of it.
"You okay?"after a long unending silence he finally broke it with a question..a stupid one huh?im I okay?how can I be.
"I'm...good"
"The anger is about the girlfriend huh Reyna?"
"I have no right to be angry"I hate how he cut me red handed.
"Maybe you do"
"Does everything has to be maybe with you?"Rolled my eyes at that.
"I don't have one,I was just pulling your legs"
"So why didn't you reply my message yesterday?"
"I wanted you to rest"
"That's not an excuse"
"Okay...I had an urgent work"
"I wouldn't wanna marry a civil servant"
"Your work is endless"
"I agree with you"We came to a stop and I hurriedly went to get her door,she stare surprisingly at me and then she compose herself.
"Let's head to the VIP"I said with a smile.
"Why not the ordinary?"jawaad asked.
"This is our regular place of hanging out I and my friends so we're used to the VIP"I concluded with a smile and he nod as a yes.
"What a beautiful couple you're,can we please take a picture"a young teenage girl said with her friends and I just couldn't say no .
"We took some couple of pics before sighting halima on a chair with farouq"
"Assalamualaikum"we said in unison.
"Waalaikumusalam"the duo couple looked up and answered in unison .
"What took so long Mrs.jawaad?"
"Nothing out of the ordinary"
"Well let's have something"farouq said with a smile after exchanging pleasantries with jawaad.
"Those ladies said right,you two look good as a couple"halima said with a wide grin while I gave her a dead glare.
"Can you guys give us a minute please"halima said and dragged my hand.
After reaching outside of the resto,she swallowed hard and said "your mother is very ill Amaani"
"I didn't hear you right cx I have nothing to do with her"I said with a stern look.
"She's your mother,can't you at least forgive her for all she's done,all she could utter was Amaani and nothing more...she admit she's made a grave mistake and she thinks she's in her death bed...seeking for your forgiveness"
"Forgive who?she doesn't exist in my life no more,ya zuzu can forgive her but not I,I'm an orphan do you get that ..a child who's mother lied to while making her hate her own father without a what reason?cx she's selfish and she only cares about herself,let's death do it's worst ...ion have a mother except Mami"
"Let the war end Amaani,it's the end of her"
"They was never a war,and if they was it was never ending"
"It's been more than a week now that she's been sick"
"For all I care"
"Let the past be forgiven Amaani"
"No apology can suffice"
"Forgiveness can't change the past but it can change the future"
"Will I have all the dreams I've dreamt of my family being one,staying as one?the love I was denied?the lies?the nightmares and dreams which have answers each which I don't know?The bad memories?can someone change the past and make it right?NO and then she can't be forgiven"
"Allah forgives us for all we do if we repent with a sincere heart so why can't you forgive your mother?the woman who carried you in her womb for 9 months"
"She was forced to being my mother ,for all those past 19 years she didn't think it was time to repent and give her children all the love they deserve?she choose an outsider instead of her own children ,she was a lesbian and we're pure...she doesn't even deserve to be called mother"
"Yes she does"Jawaad chirped in.
"Jawaad please"
"Please what?I have no say in this?no Amaani I have all right to say in this cx your problem is my problem"
"It isn't a joke and I ain't forgiving her for all she's done"
"Yes you are"he said in a commanding tone and his eyes changed into a shade of seriousness something I've never seen in him.
"Will you two force me?"
"No but our love for you is convincing"
"What love?our relationship has no titile jawaad"
"That's a question for another day as for now we have a patient to go visit,your mom is suffering from a heart attack and anything you say will be the end of it"
"Yes let it be"
"Amaani please,go and see her this once and you can decide okay ?"
"Okay"and a lone tear escaped from my eyes.
"Lets head to the hospital Halima"jawaad said with a Smile and we went ahead and settled in the car while halima and Farouq did the same in their car.
"What do you know about me?"
"A lot"
"And how?"
"By a look"
"Uhmm...The best cardiologist will be the one to operate on your mum"
" what's so special with that?"
"You have all right to know about her health info"
"And what makes you think I won't be heading to school tomorrow to avoid all this"
"Ooh no you're not"
" make that a past tense"I said with an evil smile.
"You ready for this Amaani?"
"Yup"
"Behave yourself you have visitors"jawaad said with a smile.
"What's that suppose to mean"
"Nothing"
"Amaani wait up"halima said while coming to my side.
"What's up with you?"
"Nothing really,let's get going"Reaching the door of mum's room I halt In a stop.
"I can't do this"I said while turning back to go.
"Get back their Amaani"Jawaad said narrowing his eyes on the door.
"You can do this"Halima said In a whisper.
"Assalamualaikum"I said while opening the door and all eyes came looking at me.
"Waalaikumu salam"they answered in unison.
"You came and I'm so happy you did"ya zuzu said In a low voice.
"I didn't want to but I had to"
"Amaaa...ni"mum said and our attention diverted to her while zuzu ran towards her I stood still with my head up high eyes looking at a pale mum.
"A...AMA....niii"Mum said again her hands open for me to grab.
"Amaani please"a young woman who looked nothing but short of 40 summers Said and that's when I realize they're indeed visitors- a photocopy of jawaad,she must be his relative.
I went forward and gave my hand in hers,everyone left the room for I and mum and I looked down trying to avoid eye contact.
"Please forgive m...mmmeee"
"Sorry but I can't do this mum"I said releasing my hand from hers.
"My da...U....ghter please look at me"
"I'm dying"
"It's your time"
"Forgive me"
"After all what you've done you think I can forgive you?you have the guts to utter forgiveness in your mouth?can you change the past?can you take away all the pain you've caused?can you be a better mother to a little craving Amaani?can you take away all the lies you've told me,those lies add age with me each year,they grow with me and haunt me and you know what no one is their to fill in your space as a mother to make them go away-that space filling is something I regret"
"I'm sorry about all that"she said while sobbing hard"
"You said he hated me?you said he never wanted me,you said you loved me more than anyone?was it wrong to love my father?are you even my mother cx you don't deserve to be called one"I sobbed while I left the room for her,when I came out I headed straight and took a cab while all the people their called my name to stop me but I had no intention to stop,I hate why I came here.