river (k)
12 midnight. My escape.
With a cup of hot coffee on my hand, I took in the beautiful view of busan. The city lights looked like stars while the moon did its thing. I remember her story. I guess she was right about me loving rooftops because it is where I am most of the time.
I took a sip, the warm sensation flowing inside my body. A sip of caffeine is like an embrace taking you out of the cold.
"It was too much for me to see you and it hurt to be this close to you and not being able to have you here in my arms where you used to lay on."
Oh, avery.
She constantly entered my mind from time to time. I thought of her in between the spaces of seconds— between those intervals of silence.
I'm thinking about her.
But is it because of the guilt?
pity, perhaps?
Or maybe I just liked the thought of her?
I shook my head, removing the silly idea I had. My mind keeps on telling me that she's just a patient—but deep inside, I knew she was something more than that.
But what?
If I was in her shoes, I don't know what I'd do— I don't even think I'll tell anyone about it. Not that I'm afraid of getting called crazy, but it's just... I like keeping things to myself. She's brave enough to tell me what she feels and I applause her for that.
I let out a sigh and headed back inside my office. I'm going to drown myself with work until my shift is over. Afterall , that's all I ever do. Work.
I never had the time for relationships.
Well, I tried.
But it never works out. It always end up fucking me up that I somewhat believe that those kinds of things weren't for me. Not that I'm interested anyway—I'm used to this setup already.
Taking in a deep breath before I work, she entered my head once again, reminding me of her words.
"When I leave this hospital, I won't come back again and bother you. But for now... please just let me feel things. Can I?"
Yeah, Avery. I guess you can.