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"And you're saying this is good?" I wondered hesitantly taking the hot dog he just bough us.
"Yes."
I looked at him over the street food as he urges us to move from the stall and closer to the beach where everyone was gathering. The fireworks would start soon and people were already taking place in the sand. For a second I got worried Jake wanted us to melt in the crown as well, but instead he headed for the little viewpoint in the promenade a little away from where they'll be. It looked directly to the sea, but it stood afar from the whole commotion.
I like it here better. The laces of anxiety in my chest weren't as strong here. We may not be able to had the perfect view, but a lot more calmness. And some privacy, the mass unsettle me, but in here the groups weren't as packed and allowed us personal space. And also, less witnesses would see me eating this 'hot dog'.
"It looks messy." I muttered eying the meat between breads covered in ketchup, mustard, mayo and... was that onion? Clearly not something I could eat in a classy manner.
Jake's lips quirked upwards, letting his soda over the railing and leaned against it. "You can judge it without trying it. What if it's the best thing you've ever had?"
"What if it's the worst?"
"But what if it's not?" Jake shrugged carelessly eating his.
I pressed my lips looking down at mine. Yeah, I never had a hot dog before. Just like I never had junk food until later on in my life. And a lot of other normal stuff. I was that weird.
"How about the calories? I haven't eaten healthy lately." I thought out loud, only then realizing in my effort to spend less I neglected it completely and instead went for the easier and cheaper. I must increase my current sport routine, also unattended so far, or it would start showing off.
I was only voicing a sudden realization, but as Jake took in a deep breath I realized I must have come out as a complainer. That I must have offended him. "You want me to get you a salad?"
I came out half jokingly, but I sensed it behind his words. I'd definitely offended him. He planned this, pay for it, and still all I could do was complain. It somehow pinched my heart, and swallowing the reticence I took a nip at the weird sandwich, expecting it to be greasy, and nasty, but instead a tasty flavour taunted my tongue, halting my movements as I took in the pleasant surprise.
He read that halt as something wrong. "You don't like it."
I looked up at him, hating the way he looked disappointed. "I-I do."
"Okay," he pushed off the railing, making my chest tightened a more. No no- "I'll go get you some-"
"No!" I stopped him by the arm rushedly with my free hand, barely managing to hold everything and not to stand me nor him with ketchup. He looked surprised down where my hand was and I blushed, but maybe it was that shock what allowed me to tug him back. "I like it, so just stay here and let's enjoy the fireworks."
"You sure?"
"Jake." I turned to the sea again, self-consciously and hoping I didn't sound as desperate as I felt. I didn't want him to think I was still a spoiled brat that couldn't get along with normal stuff. I took another bite, this time I got to taste some of the caramelized onion, adding just a wonderful flavour to the mix. "Wow, this is actually pretty good." I found myself amazed and saw from the corner of my eyes the way he tried to conceal a smirk and I blushed more, setting my gaze in the dark ocean unfolding before us. "If you say 'I told you so-'"
"But I told you so."
I rolled my eyes, sensing his smirk even if I wasn't seeing it. "You really are cocky you know that?"
"One of my best qualities, I've been told."
"Oh really?" I chuckled at the way his comment only proved my point further if possible. "Who told you that?"
"You."
My heart dropped a good few inches in my rib-cage and I met his gaze, startled as I too remembered it. I had indeed told him that. I couldn't recall the exact time not the actual conversation, but it was something on the line of him being this confident made things possible because I would never dare to take proper steps.
Him being 'cocky' and sure of what he wanted to make it possible for us to have a chance back then, because I was -and still am- too insecure to pursue someone properly. And even now, if it wasn't for him being this set on cleaning his karma, he wouldn't even be in my life; and at this point I wasn't as sure anymore it was a good thing.
Jake provided some comfort in an unconventional weird way. A couple months ago I wouldn't have dared to believe it, but now it was clear and undeniable, so why bother?
"I usually am right." I smirked back, pushing the weird unease in my chest at the bittersweet memory down and focused on the good instead.
That amused him. "Now, who's the cocky one, uh?"
"Well, and what would you say? Is it a good quality or a bad one?" I tilted my head, actually curious about his answer since -whether mine was pretend- his cockiness was most rather natural.
"As everything else, princess, at it's good measure it's completely fine and healthy. What's wrong with being confident?"
"Nothing..." not that I could fully think about.
What was wrong about knowing when you're right or good and explode it a little? The only problem, I summerized inwardly, was that I was far from feeling confident about anything, let alone about myself. But I shook the ghost of that bad thought off my head. Not tonight.
"So. About that trip you were talking of before." I leaned against the railing, angling my body to him and carefully picking a new topic before we stood on quicksand and let it drown us. Jake finished his hot dog, tilting his head for me to continue as he mimicked my body language. "Are the guys coming too?"
"PJ is," he nodded thoughtfully, his eyes unfocussing as his mind drifted there and the environment shifted immediately, addapting to the new conversation and I felt my chest easing with it. His brows furrowed "And Fawn's a possibility. It all depends on her actually getting in the school or not."
I nodded, "And Shawn's not coming? Aren't you, like, two peas in a pot?"
"Very funny." he rolled his eyes sarcastically and I smiled a little. "He'll be working, so no. Maybe some other time."
"And where will you be going? To Sweden?" I wondered remembering my recent discoveries about his origins and he hummed, shrugging one shoulder. "You still got family there?"
"Really distant relatives." he chuckled. "My mother's aunt if willing to host us there and then we'll backpack sour."
"Backpacking? How daring." I processed it. The idea of backpacking sounded nice in a way, but all the odds against it... the weather, the tiring, the not having a proper place for as long as it lasted... it wasn't something I saw myself doing, but at the same time it sounded thrilling enough to tempt me none the less. I tilted my head: "Any idea of a route?"
"Not that sure. PJ is more into that stuff. All I know is that we'll end in France."
"Across Europe then." I nodded, painting a map of all the possibilities in my mind. All the places they would be able to see, the monuments, the cities... "Sounds nice."
He hummed, shifting slightly as he bit on his lower lip, that intense contemplative expression covering his features, deep in thought. He looked like he was considering his next words, as if unsure to voice it, and nerves tingled my belly. What could possibly make him hesitate this much? Was it something bad? I was about to start getting anxious when he finally decided to speak: "You can join too, you know?"
Join? Their especial backpacking?
"Oh, n-no." I laughed nervously looking down to avoid those piercing blue orbs that messed with me more than I dared myself to admit. "Thanks, b-but what would I do there? And you guys had already planned it-"
"So?"
"Also," I added in a quieter tone, lowering my face self-consciously. "I don't have the money." And that successfully shut the topic. This new life I was facing would require a lot of saving from my part, to count every penny. I would be putting aside college and the standards I'd grown up with, so such a spectacular trip would also fall out my list of possibilities. I chuckled shamefully. "Speaking of which, I'm gonna have to take a second job too."
"Mhm." he finished his hot dog, glancing at the sea with vacant eyes, again deep in thought. "They're always looking for people at the beach bar. They don't pay much, but as a complement it's fine. Fawn takes some hours there at times."
"As a waitress?" I bit my lip thoughtfully. "And if I mix the orders? Or drop them? I-I'm not the best choice to be dealing with custumers face to face."
"Why not? You're polite enough."
Polite enough. I would have scoffed at that taunting compliment-insult; but with this bubbling nerves ever present in me this days spurning under my skin, I could only shake my head, my fingers tightening around the railing at the sudden wave of anxiety stabbed my chest. If I work face-to-face I would be dealing with people directly, and at the beach... I would be seeing young people, people I might know, people that might know me. "What if they recognize me?" I stuttered remembering at once all the judgemental looks I'd received in the past years.
Jake turned to look at me, confused, but easily caught up what I meant as he saw my dropping mood. "They won't."
I laughed bitterly as more stressed pressed my lungs, like a dead weight and I fiddled anxiously with the napkin I was holding, glaring down at it as I struggled to control my breaths. "You'd be surprised how often I'd been recognized." I muttered, hating the cold wave that spread under my skin at the disgusting memories that surface-
"It's different down here." he softly reassured immediately, a harsh edge in his voice and I could tell the mention of it wasn't a sweet pill to swallow for any of us. "On the west side it wasn't that viral and people don't even remember. It was a scandal on your circle, but not here. They'd never recognized me for it."
I suppressed a scoff. I doubted they would even tell him if they did recognize him somewhere. And after all, I was the one with a bad reputation out of it. I couldn't fully understand its logic, but in high school -and after it, for what matters- our sex life was treated differently depending on whether you were a boy or a girl. That was clear in our own example: Jake was the guy who gets to fuck me, I was the slut that lets him.
No.
We were not having that conversation right now.
I'd agreed to come -not only because I owe him for that one on one- but because I was already having a weird day with the moving and the horrible mental breakdown this morning, and Jake lately seemed to bring out some spark of life within me; something I'd barely felt since those last days in London, when the shadow of coming back and facing everything didn't suffocate me yet. Having a conversation like this at the moment might succeed in choking me even more.
I shook my head, feeling my head light already. No, no, not now. Talk about something else. Anything else. I moistened my lips. "So..." but before I could speak about anything heaven opened and sent us a distraction:
"Nova?"
Oh no. Maybe it wasn't heaven that parted after all. Both our heads snapped at the new voice and my eyes widened, frightened by the sudden appearance of Dalia Verlinni.
I hadn't seen her since... well, since that day on the roof of the exposition. There were two other girls with her about ten feet from us, crossing that viewpoint, but she'd stopped and detached from them approaching a step warily; but as soon as she saw it was me indeed she crossed the distance rushedly.
"Oh, god... Your mother's been calling and I... don't know what to tell her." before I could even process my used-to-be-best-friend was here, she surprised me not only approaching, but also throwing her arms around my neck in a tight embrace that caught me completely out of guard and force me a step back.
What the hell?!
I barely felt the remaining of the hot dog falling from my grip to the floor, or the uncomfortable way the railing was digging in my back. All I could think was that she was touching me, hugging me. Pressed against me making me cringe at the amount of body contact with someone that'd disappointed me this much... that I came to despise this much. It sickened me.
As I pushed her away, my head spun trying to wrap around that sudden turn of events, my pulse became an even worst drumming mess against my ribcage. Instead of taking the hint she used this little distance to hold my hands instead and I realized she'd kept talking. "-And I didn't know! I thought maybe something had happened. You know, after that night," her clear eyes shone in a weird emotion that tugged my guts at her speaking of it out loud like that. Like she has the right to do so to act 'worried', 'caring'. "I shouldn't have left the roof like that. I was so worried and-"
"I'm fine." I cut, my heart clenched as my mind went back to that horrible night. I pointed where the two girls that were with her had stopped, by the bench and talking among themselves, giving us a few curious glances but carrying on their conversation as they wait for Dalia to be done. And so did I. "They're waiting for you."
"But you-"
"I'm fine." I snatched my hands from her grip, hating her touch, her fakeness -her.
She betrayed me in school, she pushed me away when my reputation was in danger, ignored me for years... she freaking left me up there that day a few weeks ago even considering she knew I wasn't in the right mindset- even if I was the one who'd told her to leave. Now she acts worried?
"Nova, please." Dalia gave me that hurt look once more, lowering her hands stiffly, as if not believing I would push her away like that. But it wasn't only that she was acting like this, but also the fact that I was very aware of Jake's presence and attention on her every word. The blond girl must sense something too, because she pursed her lips, eying Jake suspiciously over her shoulder before going back to me and frowned. "I've been calling you."
I narrowed my gaze. As if I didn't know. I received those calls, but what was there left for us to say?
Jake snorted a dry laugh at that, muttering what sounded like 'classic' and earning himself another weird look from Dalia, like she couldn't understand his doing here.
"Have you..." she cleared her throat softly, composing back and turning to look at me again. "Have you really left the estate?"
My chest throbbed. I owe her of all the people no explanation. "So?"
"B-but why? How? Is this because..." she eyed Jake again, but cut herself shaking her head and pinning me down with her clear, inquiring gaze. "Look, does this have something to do with Tyler?" my heart froze at his mention. "Because I'd also heard them say you two w-"
"No." I shook my head, but it was too late, Jake caught it and he finally broke his concentrated stance, analyzing the conversation from afar and instead questioned:
"Tyler?" his eyes met mine, making my stomach twitched some more and a weird tingling spread across my limps at his dangerous expression. "You two what?"
Dalia stepped back, giving us both a look pursing her brows. I could almost see the wheels in her head turning, wondering if we were good after everything. Our gazes met again and it felt like a stab in my guts the flashbacks of the three of us a couple summers ago. This hit too close to the core. "Haven't you told him?"
"Tell me what?" Jake pushed, getting irritated now and at her lack of response and turned too to look at me. "Nova?"
Just then the fireworks start and the loud beaming of it shook me to the bones. The first one was soon followed by more and the sky sparkled, the loud sounds deafening me and making a ringing pierced my mind. Too much.
"I-I can't-" I went to move away, needing space to breathe as all my senses overwhelmed and my mind overdrove by it all, but Dalia had other plans.
"Nova..." she grabbed my arm, jolting some rush straight to my chest, but not the good kind. The kind that warned you to be alert.
I immediately shrugged off her hold, ignoring the hurt in her expression or if I was being rude. I can't do this. My lungs felt pressured again as I put distance between us. I need to get away from the blond girl.
"Nova, come on." she cried out but I stepped further away, about to collapse if this interrogation keep going. The familiar laces of stress snaked their hold around my lungs and more fireworks exploded almost as if externalizing the mess in my mind. I stumbled away from her, but I still hear her calling at my back: "You can't possibly still be mad at me!"
I pushed my way through the amazed people gathering at the view point, all gawking up to the show of light and oblivious at the anxious girl suffocating on air. I couldn't explain it. It was as if I was running. It felt like it, like Dalia and her haunting words evoke everything I was trying to run from, everything that's hurt me, that's belittled me and traumatize me through my upbringing. Also, she wasn't only the personification of everything I'd lost, but also of everything I should be and wasn't.
Why? Why why, why do I have to be this weak? This crumbling mess that tear down over a few spoken words?
I reached the end of the viewpoint, connecting to the promenade where they'd put those cute stalls, but that was also full and my breathings were becoming shallow and fast by now. I needed to get out. So instead of getting in the crowd, I turned to the left, lowering the rock stairs at the side of the viewpoint that connected to the beach.
There were groups seeing the fireworks from here too but they weren't one thick crowd that compressed around me. A wave of weakness jolted up from my feet the moment they met the irregular surface of the sand and my legs trembles, unable to hold my weight anymore, leaving me to slowly kneel, quivering and holding on my neck as the thin air that managed its way to my lungs didn't seem to do much. My chest burned and I saw more explosions of light through my closed lids, barely feeling the tears pouring down.
I couldn't hear my thoughts. I couldn't see, I couldn't feel but this overpowering numbing, my fingertips tingling already as they dig helplessly in the cold sand and my skin-
"Nova."
Hands cupped my face, but I barely could feel it. Not until thumbs brushed under my eyes, startling me and one of the hands let go to get a hold on mine that was scratching my neck, pulling it away. My lids snapped open, my gaze unfocused as I try to hold my tightening throat once more but his gripping wouldn't budge. Somehow I managed to see his blue eyes and I held on it like an anchor, forcing mine there as the world spun out of control.
"I-I can't-"
"I know." Jake's lips pressed in concern as he analyzed me, but he surprisingly stayed calm and collected. "It's alright. Breathe deeper, softer..."
I shook my head, frantically trying to fill my lungs and disastrously failing. "It h-hurts." I whimpered like a toddler, but I couldn't think. It ached too bad, like that first time at my old pool. It felt as if my body was shutting down, a if the air was too thick for me to breathe it, as if my lungs weighted a ton and my mind refuse to cooperate.
I leaned forward, my vision blurring and Jake shifted his gentle hold on me from his crouching position, sliding us closer. Unable to breathe, I clung to the back of his shirt, needing to grip on something, as one of his arms curled around my back and the other hand slid sofly through my hair. In my diziness I took in the way my head was pressing down on his chest, his loud heartbeat beaming against my cheek and for some reason that and the sweet words leaving his mouth gave me something else to cling to.
"-That's it. You can do it." he encouraged, breathing slowly with me, counting the seconds and then letting go the air. My chest burned, it pained my muscles and exhausted me, but I forced myself to follow that agonizing pace he was marking. "You're doing it, see? It's alright. Like this..."
The tight knot around my lungs slowly loosen, allowing me to breathe deeply so the oxygen reached me, tuning down the agony. The familiar exhaustion as the anxiety attack started to run down nested in my muscles, making them feel like made of butter. Still too focused on evening, my shaky breathings I didn't notice my hold loosening from its previous dead grip, or how Jake tightened his to keep me up and put his weight backwards so he sat on the sand and I leaned fully on him. My legs were bent to my chest over his left one while his right worked as a back behind me, securing like this a little space of calm where I fed on the comfort he provide.
As I came more and more aware of our surroundings again I took in the beach, all dark despites for the dim light from the promenade a little above and the fleeting lights from the fireworks. It wasn't as crowded as up there, just like I'd thought, and considering our position and the show going on, we must look like any other regular couple, cuddling while enjoying the moment. Some of the unease lifted once knowing I didn't create a scene.
Still too weak to move -nor like I feel the need to- I keep my head on his shoulder, taking in the softness, yet firmness of his hold, on the known scent of his cologne, on the way my heart refused to fully calm down even when the previous anxiety wasn't torturing me anymore.
Jake took me out a panic attack. It baffled me the way he managed to handle it. It wasn't the first time he saw me like this -much to my shame, but now it felt like he knew what to do and say. What buttons to push. He helped me out of it and not only reassured me while it all consumed me.
"H-how..." my voice cracked, pitifully wimpy. "How did you know what to do?"
"I googled it." mumbled Jake, its soft vibration caressing me as I was still completely leaning on him. My brows knitted together at his almost ashamed tone as he let his fingers slid through my locks spreading more of that sweet heat to my numb muscles and down my spine. He must have done it after the couple he'd already witnessed. "I hate just standing there watching you go through them and... I wanted to be prepared."
Prepared to help me.
My heart backflipped at it, creating a weird commotion to my already sensitive insides. "Thanks." I mumbled breathlessly, but he shrugged. I gulped. "I'm sorry you had to see that." self-consciously I went to move away, giving his space back, but Jake wouldn't let me, keeping me in place. Because I was too weak to move, not because of these butterflies in my stomach.
"Don't be."
My lids fell an I concentrate on the steady drumming of his heart, contrary to the irregular beat of mine. I lightly smiled to myself; confused, but calmer indeed. Was it wise to allow this kind of comfort? This kind of intimacy? Cuddling?
Maybe not.
"I'm sorry for spoiling the night for you." I murmured realizing the one eighty this had taken and guilt added to the mix I was dealing with. "I know you wanted to see the fireworks."
His chest rumbled against me with a chuckle. "What am I? A five year old? I wanted to go out and we did. That's fine."
My heart shuddered for no apparent reason. "I was having fun, you know?" I muttered, and actually mean it. Up to those last moments when Dalia barged in to remind me of everything going wrong in my life, ever since he took me from Fawn's flat -I mean, my flat- things were pretty good.
"Really?" I could feel his smile close, too close, and his fingers massaging my scalp tightened fleetingly, eliciting a jolt to my lazy limbs. I nodded, pushing down the weird feeling of my stomach down and something changed in him, like pushing a button, but I couldn't quite pinpoint what it was. "Well, I was having fun too."
Sure, I was half sure he was only trying to reassure me. I was having a bad day and recovering from a sleepless night, all while struggling to decide what would be the proper way to treat him. So, fun? I didn't think it was the proper way to describe it or me, but I took from his hold and comfort everything I needed to stir that spurn of life within me, superimposing to the dreading turmoil Dalia's presence awoke. Gosh, will I ever get to spend a whole day without sour detours?
After some more moments and after the last fireworks erupted and everyone clapped them, people began to move; some leaving, some staying, some keep going the cheerful mood. Gathering all my strength I pushed my upper body straight, so I wasn't leaning on him and this time he let me; but still, I was too shaken yet to actually move away. So instead I sat there, between his legs and so close I could almost feel his breaths when he exhale.
"I know..." I stuttered, feeling like I owe him an explanation. "Look, I know I crumble down a lot b-but you just happen to see most of them. I'm actually not such a wimp-"
"I didn't say you were."
"-and that whole thing with Dalia..." I proceed shaking my head and hesitating between keep going or not. But, what the hell? It might be relieved to let it go to someone that wouldn't judge. Baffled, I realized with that thought that I indeed believe it: that Jake wouldn't judge me. He would have already with all the material I'd provided him.
"She mentioned Tyler." he frowned when my voice faltered. I could tell by the way his knuckled turned white and how gnashed his teeth were, that he was trying to act cool on my behalf but that it affected him more than he was showing.
"Yes." I sighed shakily. "Remember I told you about the whole thing about finding a bachelor and stuff? That my family wanted me to get engaged before the end of summer?" he nodded slowly and stiff and I gulped. "W-well... Tyler purposed. But not like you think." I rushed seeing his disbelief and how he was about to comment. "H-he is being forced as well and thought we might do each other a favor."
Rage and disgust filled his eyes in a way that got my guts churning. "Please tell me you reject him."
"Of course I reject him." I furrowed my brows that it was even a possibility for him. After everything. I glared my hands, seeing goosebumps forming on my arms, but I couldn't tell if it was because of me getting emotional or for the cold sand below us. Maybe both. My teeth were practically chattering too. "But my mother tried to force it to happen either way and... and that's where I draw the final line."
Jake shook his head completely unimpressed with what I was saying and look away, to where the sea was, and faint chatters from others came lightly in our silence. I held my breath, bracing myself for his next words, his next reaction. After all, Tyler was his friend. He had more history with him than me, and for all I know, they ended badly as well. The way his jaw clenched only seemed to confirm and when he finally spoke again, he used a carefully collected voice; but I saw the fire in his eyes.
"So you left because they were trying to force you to marry Tyler?"
I glared down, hating the stirring in the pit of my stomach. "It was more like... a cherry top." I bit my lip taking deep breaths for that horrible pressure not to return as we talk about it, but now whispering about it, it didn't feel as frightening as it did back in the viewpoint; more like a ghost of something really oppressive hanging over my head, but something that couldn't harm me anymore, right? "A lot of things were going on back, but I still fool myself into believe there was a little turf where I could have a say on... but I didn't."
"You do now."
I nodded, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear in hopes to busy myself and get rid of this remaining nervousness in my guts as I forced out: "A-and what she said about the roof... I didn't mean to."
"You didn't mean to what?"
I cringe, glancing at the sea, all the way across the sand and people partying here and there. I was glad we were half hidden at in the gap between the rocks where the stairs were placed. There was no reason for people to attract their attention here, "I-it's that thing I told you, that I again t-try to..." from the corner of my eye I felt him tensing all over, realized what I was talking about and I slouched lower, feeling myself getting smaller in shame and disgust.
"But you didn't. That's what matters." Was it? Yes. I didn't. I make my decision on that roof, I put my life in balance and chosed to live, to start therapy. I chosed to get better. "Was Dalia there?"
"For a while." I muttered, remembering she pulled me off the railing, she tried to comfort me in her own way, but also she left. I asked her to, right; but she did.
Who leaves someone like that? What if I'd chosen differently? She'd had let me di-
I cringed, not daring to finish my thought. I didn't. I wouldn't.
The smoke from the previous fireworks was already being wiped away by the soft air, letting us see the stars and their light poured on the darkness of the beach, as more people left and the others parties on their spots.
"Whatever." I whispered, snapping out those awful thoughts and squeezing my mind for something to talk about that would put an end to this past minutes of hell. "Isn't it, like, getting hot? Wanna maybe go dip?" I wondered, mesmerized at the soft crashed of the waves, but just as I then air blow and a shudder shook me eliciting new shivers down my spine.
My chest eased more as he took the hint and I felt his taunting, soft smile; breathing on my neck dangerously close. "You're the only person I know that get's cold and hot at once."
My stomach did a complicated turn at that. What does that mean? "Am I weird?"
"I didn't say that."
My pulse halted as I felt his warmth palms brushing my arms, letting them fall to my hands and easily intertwining our fingers. I could feel a physical tug at my heart as he used his hold to gently hug my middle, keeping my arms protected under his and bring me back against his chest. Goosebumps covered my skin, but this time it wasn't for the weather.
Maybe I shouldn't be allowing this when I still hadn't fully dropped my guard, but I was done and this was making me feel better. Jake was making me feel better. And not only tonight. He'd been lately, even if I struggled against that realization.
I didn't notice my lids falling, heavy with tiredness, or how my whole body melted, my head falling into his shoulder, relaxing for the first time in days. Long and endless days.
"For what matters," his warm lips pressed against the side of my forehead. "I can't bear the thought of living in a world where you don't exist."
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Hey! How are you liking the story? I'm sorry for the long wait, I'd been away for summer but now I'm back and I hope I can keep up a better updating. Any thought on the chapter?
Don't forget to comment, vote and share.