I'm Not Fine At All

By the_feminist_thumb

106K 2.7K 974

Losing one's parents can be one of the hardest things you can go through. Especially when you're only sixteen... More

Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Chapter 36
Chapter 37
Chapter 38
Chapter 39
Chapter 40
Chapter 41
Chapter 42
Chapter 43
Chapter 44
Chapter 45
Chapter 46
Chapter 47
Chapter 48
Chapter 49
Chapter 50
Chapter 51
Chapter 52
Chapter 53
Chapter 54
Chapter 55
Chapter 56
Chapter 57
Chapter 58
Chapter 59
Chapter 61
Chapter 62
Chapter 63

Chapter 60

922 25 1
By the_feminist_thumb

Liam and Niall had been making out on the mall bench when they heard shouts coming from a couple of stores down. They broke apart, wondering what was causing all of the commotion, and then someone was running out of Yankee Candle, yelling for someone to call nine-nine-nine. Liam stood up and looked at the small crowd that was forming around the store, wondering what had happened there. It was then that he noticed Harry was gone from where he had been sitting on the bench. He felt a sinking feeling in his abdomen and he grabbed onto Niall, silently praying that it wasn't who he thought it was that needed help. "Niall, please tell me Harry is just shopping around somewhere. Please tell me he's safe." Niall's heart dropped at the sound of Liam's terrified voice and he held his hand tight. The two made their way to the Yankee Candle, Niall pushing everyone out of the way so they could get to the front of the crowd. Once they got there, Liam looked down and immediately screwed his eyes shut at what he saw, hoping that this was just some sick, twisted nightmare his mind had created.

Harry was splayed out on the floor, his limbs stretched out in all directions as his head oozed blood. An employee was kneeling beside him, trying to get him to wake up, but he was fully unconscious, oblivious to the world. An apron was laying under his head for fuck knows what reason and another employee was running over with a small dish towel in his hands. Niall watched in complete shock, his feet unable to move as he saw the life literally pouring out of his best friend, his brother. Liam managed to come to his senses and his eyes snapped open, this time going into action as the big brother. "Move the fuck out of the way, that's my little brother!" The boy screamed, shoving the employee to the side as he ripped the towel out of the man's hands. He pulled Harry's head into his lap, not caring that his younger brother's blood was quickly covering him, and he wrapped the towel around his head, pressing it tight to the source of the blood.

Everyone in the crowd watched in silence as this muscular man had a full mental breakdown, crying and screaming and gently stroking the boy's face as if his loving touch could wake him up. Niall knelt beside his boyfriend and grabbed his hand, squeezing tight to let him know he was there. Liam let everything out, his face turning red and snot dripping out of his nose, not caring that people were staring at his display. "I can't lose him, Niall! I can't! He's all I have left!" Niall nodded and stroked over the man's cheek, his heart sinking lower and lower as he watched Liam lose it. "Please, Harry, please wake up! You have to wake up!" Liam sobbed as he ran his fingers over Harry's bloody cheek, his muscular hands spreading even more of the boy's blood all over his face. Niall sighed in relief when he heard sirens and soon two paramedics were rushing into the small store. They had to physically pry Liam off of Harry, the boy kicking and screaming as the bigger paramedic held him back.

Niall took Liam from the paramedic and held him close as Harry was loaded onto the stretcher. They followed close behind as the unconscious Harry was wheeled out of the building, both of them getting into the back of the ambulance before it sped off to the hospital. "What is the patient's name, sir?" One of the paramedics asked Liam softly, having dealt with hysterical family members like him many times before. "Umm, his name is H-Harry Styles. He's s-seventeen and th-this isn't his f-first head injury," Liam managed to say, hiccuping a few times. The paramedic nodded and then went back to work, checking Harry's vitals and trying to stabilize him. "Can you tell me about his previous head injury, sir?" She asked, looking back at Liam as she slipped an oxygen mask over Harry's head.

"H-He was in a car accident a c-couple months ago and he c-cracked his head against the window. H-He was in th-the hospital for a month." The woman nodded and checked Harry's pulse, frowning when she felt how weak it was. "Chet, his pulse is weak. How much longer till we get there?" She asked the other paramedic. "Not long, not long. He's going to need a transfusion, I can tell. This injury won't stop bleeding." The two shared nervous looks, which thankfully Liam didn't notice. That would have caused an even bigger freak-out, which none of them wanted to deal with at that moment. "May I ask what your relationship with the patient is, sir?" This question came from Chet, who was injecting something into Harry's arm. "I-I'm his brother, and th-this is his best friend." Chet nodded and the focus was back on Harry until they arrived outside of Doncaster Royal Infirmary.

The group burst through the double doors that led to urgent care, Chet shouting that they needed a doctor immediately. A woman in a white lab coat ran out from one of the offices and she went up to the paramedics, asking them all kinds of questions as she examined Harry. Liam and Niall stayed back, watching the whole scene with their arms wrapped around each other. "He needs to go into surgery for an immediate blood transfusion now!" The doctor yelled, a few nurses coming from behind the nurse's station to help wheel the boy off. Liam went to follow them but was held back by Chet once more. "No, I need to go with him! He's my little brother! Please, let me go! Please!" Liam screamed, thrashing around in the man's arms. The doctor that had ordered for Harry to go into surgery grabbed onto Liam's arm, trying to grab his attention. "I need you to calm down, sir. We are doing everything we can to help your brother, but you need to take a deep breath and sit down. Do it for him, okay?" Liam shook his head.

"No, I need to go see him. I can't let him die!" Liam ripped away from Chet and took off running toward the double doors that they had taken Harry through. Before he got through them, though, a security guard grabbed him and dragged him away, Liam screaming as he scratched at the man's arms. He was taken into an examination area where a nurse was sitting, ready to inject him with a sedative. He was pinned down onto the examination table and the nurse jabbed him on a vein, standing back in case Liam tried to hit her. Niall, who had followed them in, watched with teary eyes as Liam slowly went limp, the sedative taking over his body. "I'm sorry, but we had to do that for the safety of the staff and the patients," The nurse said apologetically to Niall, who shook his head. "No, it's fine. I've never seen him act that way." The nurse looked back at Liam with a sad look on her face before leaving the examination area, closing the curtain behind her.

Niall took a seat beside Liam, holding his hand tightly as the older boy looked around the room, a blank look on his face. "Liam, you really scared me. Why would you do that?" Liam slowly turned to look at the younger boy, gripping his hand a little tighter. "I'm so sorry, Niall," He slurred, the sedatives still having a strong effect on him. Niall nodded and kissed Liam's hand, closing his eyes as he tried to breathe deeply. "What if he dies?" Liam's croaky voice came once more from beside Niall and he opened his eyes, shaking his head at Liam. "No, we're not gonna think like that, Liam. We have to stay positive, for Harry. He's gonna be okay." He didn't believe any of the words coming out of his own mouth, but he needed to be strong for Liam. "If you're okay here, I'm just gonna go call Zee, tell him what the situation is." Niall kissed Liam's forehead and left the enclosed area, walking to a secluded part of the waiting room as he dialed Zayn's number.

"Hello, this is Zayn."

"Zayn, hi, it's Niall."

"Oh, hey, mate. What's up?"

"Umm, there's been a, uh, an...accident. I'm at th-the hospital right now."

"Oh my god, what happened? Which hospital are you at?"

"I'm at Doncaster Royal something. Harry, h-he..."

"What happened to Harry, Niall?"

"H-He fell and he h-hit his head and n-now he's g-getting a blood transfusion and I d-don't know what to do."

"Oh my god. I'm going there right now. Where-Where's Liam?"

"He freaked out and the d-doctors gave him a sedative."

"Shit, I'm getting in the car right now and I'll get there as soon as I can. Do you need anything?"

"Do you th-think you could call some of the boys and tell them what happened?

"Y-Yeah, babes, of course. I'll talk to you later."

"Yeah, bye, Zee."

Niall hung up the phone and collapsed in one of the chairs, sobbing into his hands as he thought about his Harry, laying all bloody on the floor of the mall. Liam, holding his depleted body as he sobbed into his curls. The crowd watching silently as the paramedics held Liam back from his brother. Zayn, crying as he was told what happened to Harry. He sat up, sniffling quietly as he rose to his feet. He needed to be there for Liam since he couldn't physically be with Harry. The nurses gave him pitying looks as he walked back to where Liam's bed was, opening the curtain before stepping inside. Liam was sitting up now, the drugs having worn off quickly, and he was quietly sobbing. "Oh, Li. Babe." Niall came over to him and sat down next to him on the bed, pulling him close so he could cry into his shoulder.

"Zayn is on his way, and he's calling the other guys to let them know. Do you need anything?" Liam shook his head and pulled back from Niall, wiping his runny nose with the back of his hand. "No, I'm okay. Did you call Louis?" Niall's heart dropped and he shook his head at the older boy. "No. What will I say to him? He'll be completely heartbroken." Liam sighed and pulled Niall in, knowing he hasn't been given any sort of comfort since they first saw Harry on the floor. "I'll call him if that helps. He needs to know, though." Niall nodded and pressed a kiss to Liam's lips. "Yeah, you should do it. He knows you better." Liam stood up from the bed and sat in one of the chairs while Niall left to give him some privacy. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and tapped Louis's contact, hearing it ring four times before the familiar voice answered.

"Mate, it's barely five in the fucking morning! Why the fuck are you calling me?"

"Lou..."

"Li, what the fuck do you want?"

"It's...It's Harry."

"No. No no no, this can't be happening."

"Lou, stop."

"What happened, what happened to him?"

"He passed out and hit his head. He's in the hospital now."

"Oh my fucking god. Is he awake, is he unconscious, what's going on?"

"He's in surgery now, getting a blood transfusion. It doesn't sound good."

"No! No, Liam, shut up! You're lying!"

"Louis, shh, stop. You need to calm down."

"No, Liam! Harry's in the hospital! This wasn't supposed to happen!"

"I know, babe, I know, but-"

"Shut up! He's supposed to stay alive! We're supposed to get married and live our lives together, and then I'm going to die before him! This isn't how it was supposed to go!"

"Louis, babe, please just calm down. Take a deep breath, in and out. Just like that. Please, do this for Harry."

"What am I supposed to do?"

"I want you to go back to sleep. Get some rest, and then call me again when you feel better."

"No, I'm booking a flight back there. I can't be asleep in America while Harry's dying on the operating table."

"No, Louis, think this through-"

"I've had enough with thinking things through! You can't change my fucking mind! I'm getting on a plane and I'm coming back home."

"Fine, Lou. Just, be careful, okay?"

"Okay, Li."

"Bye. I love you."

"I love you too, Li. Bye."

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