Mullai woke up feeling distressed. She checked her phone to find no messages nor call from him. She panicked if anything ill happened to Kathir. He has never missed to call her back, no matter how busy he was. She tried calling him again only to find his phone still switched off. She wanted to visit Pandian house to check on him when she received a message from Kannan. She calmed down immediately seeing Kanna's message on something trivial. She understood Kathir was just busy and she could meet him in the evening as they had planned.
She took her own sweet time to dress up. She wore a simple white saree, Kathir's favorite color with red thread work throughout. She let down her hair with just a pin. She checked herself on the mirror and a slight blush adorned her cheeks that added to her beauty.
During the day, she messaged Kathir confirming their plan to meet him after work at the coffee shop and felt happy seeing that he read the message. She mentally scolded him for not charging his phone and scaring the hell out of her.
"Inaiku varatum. Mandailayey naalu podarean", she said it loud earning few glances her way.
Rest of the day, she got engrossed in work to realize he has not responded to her message nor he returned her call. As soon as the clock stuck 5'0 clock she was up and out of her chair grabbing her things. She quickly messaged before driving towards the coffee shop.
Naan kelambitean. Coffee shop la pakalam
As soon as she entered the shop, the excitement started to form inside her as only minutes from now, she would be seeing Kathir after a week. Also, she would be letting him know how she feels.
She waited in the coffee shop and browsed through her Facebook and Instagram feed to avoid the nervousness that already hit her. She felt butterflies in her stomach every time she thought about how this evening would unfold for them. However, after one hour had passed, she started to get worried. She twirled her phone in her hand pondering if she should text him.
Kathir, naan coffee shop la than irukean. Enga iruka nee?
She noticed the two blue ticks immediately however never got a reply. After setting back her phone on the table, she looked out the window that was now dark. The sun had set a little bit away and it was beautiful. It was gorgeous pink and orange color. She was not able to enjoy the view, as she was anxious about Kathir's whereabouts.
Her stomach was growling, as she did not have proper food all day as she was panicking about how she was going to confess her feeling. But, she didn't want to eat without Kathir. She knew he should be there any moment and waited.
She watched as many people came and went from the cafe. People came, had their food and left as she sat in the same seat. It had been over 2 hours since she came in. She kept checking her phone to make sure she did not miss a call or text from him.
She noticed the time was almost 8. She kept telling herself that Kathir might have got held up in work but she was starting not to believe it anymore. She felt like an idiot still sitting there waiting for Kathir. Her heart sunk as even more time passed. Her love for him was the only reason she was staying. She wanted to believe he would show up any minute and apologize to her.
Tears were burning her eyes and she swallowed the lump in her throat. After another half hour, knowing he was not coming anymore, she grabbed her phone and bag before sliding out of the booth.
She was angry and hurt as she went back home.
"Thirumba latea vara aramichutiiya? Oru varam timeku vandhiyenu pathean", Parvathy's voice boomed as she entered the home
"Seri sapida va", she said as soon as she saw the tired look on Mullai's face.
"Illa ma. Late achunu erkanamey saptutean. Tireda iruku. Naan poi padukarean", and almost rushed to the room before her mom found something amiss with her.
As soon as she closed the door of her room, tears flowed freely down her cheeks. In past relationship with Jeeva she fell too fast for him. She developed feelings only to have her heart crushed when he did not feel the same way. She learned her lesson and ever since told herself not to get attached too soon. However, with Kathir it has been slow and steady and without her control she got invested into him.
All the words that she has been called after her divorce; being worthless, will always been alone, will not be loved by anyone – echoed in her mind. Another piece of her heart broke today.
Next day was hard, very hard. She woke up and felt like crap. That day just was a blur to her. She still waited for his phone call to say everything was a joke but that call never came. After that night, she stopped trying to contact him.
2 weeks later
It has been 2 weeks since she talked to Kathir, but it felt like a lifetime. She had got used to him that she was going through some sort of withdrawal. She felt completely silly about how she fell for him, while nothing was right with their relation from the beginning. She was not hungry nor did she sleep well. According to her mom, she was continuously zoned out and apparently having been paying much attention to anything either.
She has broken her head trying to figure out a reason about his sudden withdrawal. After analyzing all angles, she figured maybe his family was not ok being friends with her and he choose his family over her. She felt betrayed. When she looks at all of this realistically, there was no way that Kathir and she could ever work out. Whatever thoughts she had of confessing everything to him, died in her head.
She tried everything to forget him, his voice, his smiling face but she failed. There was not a day she did not miss him. Every time she remembered her memories, the times they had spent together, her heart filled with an unfiltered amount of rage. There were times she felt depressed and did not even want to come out of her room. She had to drag herself to work every day.
One evening, she went to grocery shopping so that she could prolong the time before she returned home where she stayed alone, depressed in her room, when she heard some one call her.
"Anni!"
She spent last two weeks avoiding Kanna too but now it was happening. She never knew she would end up meeting him at this place. She must have the worst luck in the planet.
Kannan had noticed the distress in Kathir's face. When he tried asking him, he brushed it off without any explanation. He later decided to stay in Karaikudi and never come home all this week. Kanna initially thought it might be some lover's tiff and did not bother. However, after a week, he wanted to make sure it was not something serious and decided to meet Mullai. Seeing Mullai's face, he knew something was terribly wrong between the two and he had no clue what. Without knowing if Kathir proposed his heart to Mullai, he could not ask it directly with his Anni too.
"Anni, sema pasi. Engayavadhu sapida polama?", he started the conversation hoping he could soon drift to their topic.
"Enaku pasikala. Naan vetuku poi saptukarean", Mullai avoided hoping she could leave soon before he started asking questions.
"Seri ponga. Apo namba coffee shop poi konja neram pesitu irukalama? Kathir anne varudhanu kekarean", Kanna said picking the phone in his hand and noticed Mullai's panic look.
"Pasikudhunu solitu veruma coffee shop polamnu solra? Aparam pasila polambuva. Seri va sapida polam", Mullai offered.
Mullai was not hungry. She was just trying to comply so Kannan does not end up calling Kathir.
"Unga rendu peru kula edavadhu prachanaiya?", Kanna asked as he walked next to her.
Before she could say anything, Kanna continued
"Ipadi ungala pakka kastama iruku Anni"
He sounded genuinely concerned. It was not fair to avoid everyone for what Kathir did to her.
"Ada nee vera da. Naan nala than irukean. Seri enga polam sapida?", she diverted the topic.
He took them to a pizza restaurant and they ordered pizza with wings.
"Anni en graduation varudhu inum 1 masathula"
Mullai was grateful for the change of subject. Life was not going exactly as she planned and talking about avoiding Kathir was just a reminder about how she made wrong choice twice. She did not need that right now.
"Perumaiya iruku da. Yepadiyo arrear elam clear panni, degree vanga pora"
"Anni basically naan arivali than. Yarum namba than matangarenga. Graduation sonna, nakkal adikaranga veetla elarum. Sathiya sodhanai!", Kanan exclaimed dramatically.
"Seri aduthu enna panna pora?", Mullai asked as they ate.
"Masters apply panna aramichu irukean. Karaikudi college la kedaikumnu nenaikarean. Ilana Trichy poganum"
"Hostela? Viduvangala veetla unna?"
"Yepadiyavadhu usar panni poga vendiyadhu than. Apadiyey anga oru ponnu pathu life la settle agalamnu irukean"
"Olunga padikara vazhiya paaru. Ponna apram pakalam. Yepadiyum Dhana akka unaku yepadi ponnu pakanumnu periya listey vechu irupanga", Mullai chucked seeing the look on Kanna's face
"Ipadi bayamuruthina yepadi?", he placed his hand on his chest faking panic.
Mullai laughed heartily, her first genuine laugh in weeks.
"Seri adhu elam irukatum. Graduationku nenga kandipa varanum", Kanna reiterated again.
Mullai raised her eyebrow "Ennai edhuku da kupidara?"
"En Anni? Enkaga vara matengala?"
"Un anna, anni'ya vitutu enna en kupidaranu ketean", she said bluntly failing to hide her disappointment in her voice.
"Nengalum en anni than. Veetla elarum varanumnu aasaiya iruku enaku"
Mullai laughed at the irony. "Vayala kupta elam anni ayida mudiyadhu"
"Enaikum neenga enaku Anni than", Kanna replied sternly.
She avoided the look of Kanna and looked down at the slice of her pizza.
Mullai closed her eyes to calm her erratic breathing. It is like she wanted to speak her heart out, let Kanna know what happened but again uttering even a single word about it seems difficult and suffocating. She still cannot come to terms with what Kathir has done to her.
Though Mullai understood Kanna's concern, he would not understand her hesitation at the moment. Therefore, she decided not to tell him about her suspicion regarding Kathir choosing family over their friendship. Anyone in his place would never believe her even if she opened up.
"Ungaluku annaney romba pudikumnu enaku theriyum", Kanan said. It came out more of a statement than a question.
"Nenga rendu perum kasta padarathu enala pakka mudiyala", Kanna visibly sulked.
She did appreciate him looking out for her and not wanting her to get her heat broke.
"Onum illa Kanna. Naan nala than irukean", she shoved his shoulder with hers.
"Anna, veetuku kuda varadhu illa. Ipo elam Karaikudilayey thangudhu", Kanna put forward his concern not being able to hold himself anymore.
Mullai shook her head unable to, really put the meaning behind his words.
"Karaikudiya? Anga enga thangaran?", she asked curiosity taking front seat before her anger.
"Thirumbavum mesthiri veetla than thangudhu. Vera enga?", Kanna said as matter of fact.
One look of Mullai, Kanna knew she was unaware of all these
"Ungaluku idhu edhuvum theriyadha?"
She just shook her head and Kanan bite his tongue for blurting out. He had no clue why Kathir hide it from her but it was too late to back out.
"Neenga veeta vitu ponadhil irundhu, Anne anga than thangudhu. Varathuku oru naal veetuku varum. Ipo oru varushama than, dhenamum veetuku vandhutu irundhuchu"
She put her head into her hands. She started tensing up hearing those words, while Kanna continued
"Konja maasama than Anne ivalavu sirichu sandhosama irundhu pathu irukean. Ipo thirumba nanga yarum venamnu anga poi thaniya okandutu irukaradhu romba bayama iruku. Veetla elarukum varutham idhula"
As she stared at Kanna, everything slowly started to make sense in her head. It sent shiver down her spine as realization dawned on her. This all could mean only one thing, that Kathir never stopped loving her. He did all these out of love and not just out of friendship and care.
The more she thought, more convinced she was. In matter of seconds, she knew what she wanted to do.