I'm Not Fine At All

By the_feminist_thumb

107K 2.7K 974

Losing one's parents can be one of the hardest things you can go through. Especially when you're only sixteen... More

Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Chapter 36
Chapter 37
Chapter 38
Chapter 39
Chapter 40
Chapter 41
Chapter 42
Chapter 43
Chapter 44
Chapter 45
Chapter 46
Chapter 47
Chapter 48
Chapter 49
Chapter 50
Chapter 51
Chapter 52
Chapter 53
Chapter 54
Chapter 55
Chapter 56
Chapter 58
Chapter 59
Chapter 60
Chapter 61
Chapter 62
Chapter 63

Chapter 57

910 24 1
By the_feminist_thumb

Liam dropped Harry off at Zayn's apartment around noon, telling him he loved him before speeding off to go fuck Niall over the kitchen counter. Harry readjusted his overnight bag on his shoulder before knocking, waiting a few moments before he heard footsteps coming toward him. The door opened to reveal a sweaty-looking Zayn, dressed in only boxers. "H, what are you doing here?" He asked breathlessly, his chest slightly heaving as a bead of sweat dripped down his chest from his collarbone. "Louis flew to America and I'm lonely. Can I spend the night?" Zayn squinted and looked back to where the living room was, scratching his head awkwardly. "Umm, I kind of have someone here right now." Harry's eyes widened and his face broke into a grin as he pushed past Zayn, strutting into the house. "Great, then you won't mind having another person here," He exclaimed as he walked into the living room. The boy gasped when he saw the reason Zayn didn't want him to come in.

There was a girl on his couch, and she was completely naked. A pillow was covering her bottom half but she was completely exposed up top. Harry's jaw dropped and the girl turned around, shrieking when she saw a very unfamiliar boy staring at her. "Who the hell are you?" She screamed as she scrambled to cover the rest of herself up, her cheeks flaming in both embarrassment and anger. Zayn rushed into the room when he heard the girl screaming and immediately tugged Harry away, making sure his eyes were shut. "I am so fucking sorry, Gi. That's Liam's little brother, Harry. His boyfriend is away right now and he wanted to hang out with me. I'll make sure to get him out." Zayn pushed Harry out of the room and into the kitchen, shutting the sliding door to the living room once they were out. "What the bloody hell was that all about, Harry?" He asked in annoyance.

Harry's cheeks flamed and he looked down at his feet, picking at his chipping nail polish on his thumb. "Huh?" Zayn pushed further, his annoyance toward Harry growing. "I told you I had a fucking guest and you still went in there. Where the fuck are your manners?" He pressed two hands against the boy's chest and shoved him, not hard enough to move him, but enough to make a point. "You just completely embarrassed my girlfriend, all because you can't fucking listen. When someone says they have company, that means you don't push past them and just waltz into their home like you own the place. God, did no one ever teach you proper etiquette? I swear, sometimes you can be so stupid, Harry." Zayn rolled his eyes and shoved the boy a little harder until his back pressed against the wall. Harry teared up, feeling like a puppy that had just been yelled at for doing something bad.

"I'm sorry, Zayn. I didn't-" Zayn cut him off by shoving him one more time. "Stop, none of that. I'm not gonna pity you with your whole hurt kitten act. You know what you did wrong, you accept that fact, and you get the fuck out of my apartment. Now." Harry wiped his tears and pulled his bag further up his shoulder, giving Zayn a cold glare. "Fuck you," He said with as much menace as he could muster, pushing Zayn out of the way as he moved toward the door. Zayn stumbled, not expecting the boy to be able to push with that much force, but he quickly regained his balance and watched as the boy opened the door. "Just so you know, I'm telling Liam you pushed me," Harry said coldly before slamming the door in Zayn's face, leaving the older boy just to scoff and roll his eyes. "Yeah, go tattle on me," He whispered, chuckling to himself as he made his way back into the living room where Gigi was laying on the couch, a blanket covering her.

Zayn came up behind the couch and peppered the girl's face with kisses, smiling when he heard her giggle. "You're back,'" She sighed as she sat up, her hair falling messily over her shoulders. Zayn nodded and gave the girl a deep kiss on the lips before jumping over the back of the couch, landing next to her. "So, that was your friend's little brother?" She asked, raising her eyebrows. Zayn nodded and kissed her again, not really caring for conversation. "Why were you yelling at him? I heard you from the kitchen." Zayn sighed and pulled her under his arm. "I told him I had company but he didn't listen to me and he came inside. He needs to learn to follow the rules like an adult. He's seventeen years old, for fuck's sake." Gigi frowned and sat up, pulling away from Zayn. "He didn't know. You probably made him feel bad." Zayn shook his head. "He's fine, Liam's yelled at him before, it's no different coming from me."

Gigi stood up abruptly and started pulling her dress back on. "What are you doing, babes?" Gigi turned to him and cocked her hip. "I am driving you to him and you are going to apologize. You're his friend, not his guardian. Liam can yell at him because he's his responsibility, but he looks up to you as a friend. Now hop up and get some pants on. I'm going to wait in the car." Gigi slipped her shoes on and grabbed her keys from the table. The girl opened the door and left the apartment, going toward the stairwell at the end of the hallway. She made her way down the first set of stairs and paused at the bottom when she saw the same curly-haired boy from Zayn's place, curled up on the floor and crying. "Oh, my. Honey, are you alright?" She knelt in front of the boy and he looked up at her, his eyes welling up with more tears as he burst into sobs. "I'm sorry, ma'am, I'll go," He said shamefully as he stood up, but the older girl stopped him. "No, honey, you don't have to leave. I'm so sorry Zayn yelled at you like that. And I didn't mean to scare you, you just startled me."

Harry moved closer to the older girl and she hesitantly wrapped an arm around his shoulder. "I'm Gigi, and I assume you're Harry?" The boy nodded, biting his lip as he tried to hold back his tears. "Well, it's nice to meet you, Harry. Wanna go wait in my car while Zayn finishes getting ready? Then we can drive you back to your place?" Harry nodded again and Gigi smiled, walking him through the lobby and out to her bright red Mazda pick-up. "My dad gave it to me as a present. I want to own a farm someday and he said that I could use this on it. He doesn't know much about farming so I think he just got the first truck he saw that he thought was pretty." Harry giggled and hopped into the backseat, having to use the small stair that was built onto the truck since it was so tall. "So, Harry," Gigi began once they were both in the car, AC on full blast. "What do you do? What's going on in your life?" Harry shrugged and picked at a loose thread on his shorts. "Not much. I start my senior year next week, so that's pretty exciting. What do you do?"

Gigi sighed and leaned back against her window, her legs sitting over the middle console. "I'm a model. I mostly do print stuff, a few small magazines and shit, but I want to start doing bigger things. There's this really cool modeling agency in London and they have complete all-calls every couple of months for all kinds of models. They don't have an image that they strive for, they just invite people of all races and backgrounds and genders and pretty much just say, if we can take a picture of you, you can be a model. I've talked to one of their publicists and they said they have an all-call coming up next month and they would love to have me. My sister models too, and she's gonna join me there, so I'm really excited." Harry nodded and copied her position, facing the other way so that they were looking at each other. "I wanna be a teacher when I grow up. Preschool teacher, in fact. It's kind of always been my dream. Sort of reliving my childhood. Reading the same books I used to read, eating animal crackers, sitting on those really tiny chairs. All of that."

"That sounds totally sick. I would only eat the completely iced animal crackers though. The ones that are just like completely white with the little sprinkles?" Harry nodded and groaned. "Oh my god, those are the fucking best. My friend Niall would always have those at his house when we were younger. I was over there all the time to eat his snacks." The two laughed together, getting along easily for having met less than half an hour before. Harry opened his mouth to say something else but then the truck door opened and Zayn hopped in, now dressed in jeans and a Stone Roses t-shirt. "Hey, Gi," He greeted, not noticing the boy in the backseat. Gigi rolled her eyes and gestured to Harry, who sat up a little straighter so Zayn could see him. Zayn turned around and his eyes widened when he saw the boy, waving at him awkwardly. "Hey, H. I'm sorry about earlier. I crossed a line, and I hope I didn't hurt your feelings too much. I just really wanted to have sex with Gi and you kinda ruined it."

Harry blushed a dark red and Gigi smacked the older boy on the shoulder, sending him a cold glare. "Right, probably shouldn't have said that. I just wanted to say I'm sorry, and that I hope you can forgive me." Zayn gave the boy a pleading look, pouting his lip just to make him feel a little more pity. "Of course I forgive you, Zee. I can never stay mad at you and you know that. Now, can you please drive me home?" Gigi gave the boy a grin and put the car in reverse, backing out of the lot before looping around to get on South Street. "Someone needs to give me directions because I have no clue where this place is," She said, just continuing straight. Zayn chuckled and placed a warm hand on her knee, squeezing it a little. "Don't worry, babes. I got you."

They managed to get to Harry's apartment building without getting lost, and Zayn offered to carry the boy's bag up the stairs for him. The two made their way up to the third floor, breathing harshly by the time they got there, and Harry unlocked the door. The boy pushed it open, expecting to find an empty kitchen, and squeaked when he saw what was in there. He slammed the door shut and put his face in his hands, his cheeks bright red. "What, what was it, Haz?" Zayn asked, trying to pull Harry's hands away from his face. "Can I please move into your place? Liam and Niall were just fucking on the kitchen table and I don't know if I'll ever be able to eat in there again." Zayn chuckled and put an arm around the boy, leading him back down the stairs. "Come on, babes. I've got a spare bedroom that has your name written all over it."

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