Time past by faster then we expected, and pretty soon the bag was emptied. Nurse Tammy walked over to us and I stood up, noticing how many people were in the room around us. I counted six others, four teenagers and two young children. It hurt me to realized how many people were sick in this world, while others like me got the luckiness of being healthy and alive.
The nurse grabbed his clipboard and stepped in front of him, and then she spoke.
"Alright hun, I'm going to ask you a few questions so I can fill out your chart," she explained. "Do you feel any pain?"
He shook his head. "Nope," he said.
"Are there any symptoms you would like to share with me that I should probably know about?"
Again, he shook his head. "Not really," he answered.
"Okay, well that's very good," she smiled, putting the clipboard onto the table beside him. "Now I'm going to flush your port, it will help your vein by making it so you can't get a blood clot."
"What does that mean?" he asked her, looking confused.
"Well since your catheter leads into the vein in your chest, after you receive your chemotherapy we like to make sure your port is clear," she told us, waving in front of her like it was no big deal.
"Great," he grinned, seeming annoyed, while I laughed. "Sounds like fun."
"So much fun," Tammy laughed, unhooking his line and taking out some type of syringe, holding it near his chest. "Now what I do is connect this needle that holds saline into your line," she said quietly, sticking the needle in the end of his tube. "And I push, making sure it goes through correctly, and checking to see if the line is blocked, which it isn't. Then I pull, to see if I can receive your blood easily without a problem," she explained carefully, as I watched his red blood slowly fill into the syringe. "And then at last, I push," she said, the blood entering back into his body, as she twisted the end of his line gently. She pulled out the needle and smiled widely, tossing it gently into the garbage can.
He looked back up at her, and shrugged. "Is that it?" he chuckled, looking like nothing phased him.
"Yes, Mr. Wise guy," she smirked, laughing under her breath. "You're actually good to go."
"Finally," he rolled his eyes, standing up and almost stumbling. "Damn, is it always going to take four hours long?"
She shook her head and walked his clipboard over to the main counter. "Not necessarily," she loudly answered. "Maybe if we speed it up next time we can make it into three hours."
"Oh," he said, eventually looking over to where I was patiently standing. "You ready?"
"Yeah. I'm ready," I told him calmly.
"I almost forgot," she gasped, walking over to a bin and pulling out a small box of what looked like band-aids. She stepped in front of him and opened it. "These are the bandages," she said. "You place the soft gauge tissue over the spot where the entrance to the needle is, and then you apply a few small pieces of this special tape over it. It's basically to keep it from getting any germs, to keep it clean, and to make sure it doesn't get infected."
"Okay. That sounds pretty easy to me," he told her, taking the box and holding it.
"I can play nurse and do it for you," I said to him, laughing as he rolled his eyes.
"I bet we'll have loads of fun," he mumbled.
"You know it," I smiled.
He turned back to her as she stepped in front of him. "Just sign out at the front desk and make sure you're scheduled for another appointment next week," she informed him.
"Alright, cool. Thank you," he said, her touching his shoulder and gently answering him.
"You are so welcome." And then she turned to me. "It was nice meeting you sweetie, you better come next time!"
"Oh I definitely will," I promised. "I always will."
"Always?" Alex groaned, me slapping his arm.
"Yes, always," I whispered.
She smiled and we both silently walked out of the outpatient IV room.
I walked down the hallway with him, knowing I had just successfully survived watching my boyfriend get his treatment, chemotherapy that would hopefully end up saving his life. I was actually kind of proud with myself, and happy that I made it through the whole four hours without breaking down. Alexander was such a strong person, and I admired him so much for going through this with a smile across his face almost the whole time.
We got to the desk and he signed out, and the lady gave him a date for his next treatment appointment. He pulled out his cell phone and called his mother, telling her we were ready to get picked up. It was twenty minutes of us sitting in the waiting room, watching all of the other kids his age or younger walking through the doors and into the hospital. I had my eyes on him for a majority of the time, even though he was looking down at the floor. He had his eyes closed when we saw Stephanie cautiously entered the lobby, and I grabbed his hand, not wanting to ever let go.
When she reached our side he looked up at her in a daze. "How was it," she asked him softly.
He shrugged, standing up and beginning to walk towards the door. "Great," he muttered.
She looked at me and frowned. "What happened?" she whispered.
"Nothing," I stated. "He's just, a little quiet, that's all."
"Quiet?" she repeated, shaking her head. "Something's bothering him."
"Of course something is bothering him, Steph. He just had his first chemo treatment, after like, ten years of being in remission," I anxiously let out, her jaw tightly snapping shut.
"You're right," she told me.
"I'm sorry," I told her, knowing I was a tiny bit too harsh with her. "I'm just sort of uptight, I guess."
"I would be too, if I spent four hours of watching such a horrid scary thing," she said, us both following behind him.
"It wasn't that bad," I admitted. "I'll get used to it."
We drove back to Manchester and back to his house, after the long and perfectly silent car ride. It was cloudy outside and looked as if it was going to start pouring at any second. We got inside and Darlene didn't say anything to Alex, which kind of made me angry but I couldn't let her attitude ruin his day.
Stephanie walked into the kitchen with Nancy and Peter, while Alexander took my hand and led me up the stairs. He stopped at his door and turned to face me, looking as if a disturbing thought crossed his mind. I didn't know what to say until he spoke to me.
"I'll be right back, I need to use the bathroom," he explained, quietly.
"Okay," I said. And then he walked down the hall, closing the door behind him.
After about ten long seconds I decided I was just going to step into his room, so I carefully opened his door and looked around. It was a rather big room, and it was really nice looking. He had light red walls, with blue carpet, and a wooden bed set, along with two dressers. I noticed a blue lava lamp, and laughed quietly to myself, and then I stepped further inside and noticed the glass doors that led out onto a small balcony. He wasn't kidding. There was a bookshelf on the other side of the room, and I ran my fingers onto all of the big, hard covered books, realizing how smart this boy really was.
After that, I walked to his window and moved aside the curtains, looking up at the dark gray sky, waiting for lightening and thunder to strike. When they did, I jumped, but loved how it reminded me of Florida. I thought of my father at that exact same moment, a part of my heart ripping.
Suddenly a noise came from behind me, and I turned to see Alex leaning in the doorway. He was looking at me, smiling in a funny way.
"Sorry for just barging in," I told him, as he stepped inside and closed the door behind him.
"It's alright. I'm glad you've made yourself at home," he grinned, walking over to where I was standing and staring out the window.
"I like your bedroom," I said, him nodding in response. "You have tons of books."
"Yeah, I love to read," he said, looking a little embarrassed with admitting it.
"I do too, especially romance stories, like the Notebook," I said, catching him staring into my eyes.
"And A Walk To Remember," he quickly added. "Except in our case, the boy is the one who has cancer."
"And in our case," I hesitated, lightly touching his cheek, and then dropping my arm. "You're not going to die."
"Alright," he smiled, thankfully.
"You know, since we're basically saying books or movies that sort of have to do with our relationship, I know the best one," I said, him tilting his head and chuckling.
"And what is it?" he asked me.
"My Sister's Keeper," I answered, easily. "We have the Kate and Taylor relationship."
"I read that book and also watched the movie," he told me, me feeling my eyes widen. "But, thank God, also in our case, you don't have cancer like Kate did."
I almost wanted to cry after hearing that come out of his mouth. "You're not alone though, I'm going to start feeling like I'm sick too, because I'm going to be around you as much as I can."
"I know I'm not alone. I have you," he stated.
"Okay," I whispered, wrapping my arms around his neck and noticing the catheter after I rubbed against something hard.
"Dammit," he said, as I flew back and sat on his bed.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it," I gasped, him walking to the mirror over his dresser and unbuttoning his shirt, easily pulling out his line, letting in hang down his chest.
"I know you didn't," he said, shrugging, and placing the box of bandages on his dresser.
"Did it hurt?" I asked him, so nervous that he would be mad at me.
He shook his head. "Not really," he told me, staring at his reflection and shaking his head.
I stood up and walked to his side, staring up at his pale and painful face. "Is there something on your mind that you want to talk about?"
He let out a deep breath and shrugged. "There's nothing to really talk about," he answered, sadly.
"You made it."
He looked oddly confused, and looking over at me and into my eyes,and frowned. "What do you mean?"
"Well, you went through the chemo," I reminded him. "You were worried that your body wouldn't be able to handle it, remember?"
He nodded after I said this, and hugged me tightly, not caring about his hick-man catheter that was hanging between us. "I can't believe you stayed," he admitted, holding onto me much tighter now.
"I told you I would," I said softly, him pulling back and holding my face gently.
"I love you," he slightly smiled, even though he looked more on the verge of tears than laughs. "I've been wanting to say that for so long."
"I know, same here," I silently laughed, feeling my eyes become watery. I couldn't exactly help it. "I'm really sorry."
"For what? For not leaving me by myself do deal with this?" he joked. "Don't be, Rosie."
"Okay then. Deal," I told him.
"Want to lay down with me?" he asked, falling onto his bed as I cuddled up next to him. "I'll take that as a yes."
"Obviously," I whispered, him resting his head near my chest, as I closed my eyes and tried to even out my panicked breaths.
It was quiet for a few minutes and I began to think he was sleeping until he spoke. "I can hear your heart beating," he told me.
I couldn't help but laugh. "Um, you can?"
"Yeah. Are you having a heart attack?" he laughed, grabbing my wrist and checking my pulse.
"Oh shut up," I muttered.
"I mean it. Are you hyperventilating?"
"No, I bet yours beats just as fast as mine," I proudly told him, taking his wrist and feeling his pulse as well.
"It probably is," he admitted. "You should take full credit for that one."
I smiled, knowing I was blushing. "Really?" I laughed, pushing him onto his back as I rested my ear on his chest. "Alex," I whispered, as if I was talking to his heart.
"What?" he answered.
"I love you," I said, his heart starting to race, him proving me right.
"Told you," he whispered.
I swallowed hard, hating how much I cared about him. His was really fast, and every now and then it would stop and then start up again, almost as if it was skipping a few beats. For maybe an entire hour we laid on his bed, counting each others heart beats and trying to find out who's was faster. I definitely won that one. My mom somehow got his cell phone number and told me it was time for me to come home, and it crushed my heart when she told me she was outside of his house.
He walked me down the stairs and I hugged Stephanie, my best friend, goodbye, as she waited by her brother's side. I wondered how she kept her act together knowing that her only brother, her twin, was sick with cancer. I kissed him goodbye and then eventually I got in the car, and we drove home.
It started raining when we were half way down his road, and the thunder loudly sounded as a streak of lightening hit somewhere near us. I concentrated on the windshield wipers, listening to the sounds they made, and I rolled down my window to feel the cold musty wind blow against my face. I rolled it up after my face nearly got soaked, and looked over to my quiet mother, who hadn't yet said a word.
"Mom?" I said, my voice barely letting the word out.
"Yes," she answered, still staring blankly out the windshield.
"Are you like, mad about something," I asked her, as she turned to quickly look at me.
"Well, I'm a little disappointed in Jake," she admitted, making it sound like he killed somebody.
"What did he do?" I asked, kind of in a demand, not meaning to. I was really uptight.
"I caught him out back, smoking a," she stopped, looking back out onto the rainy road.
"Let me guess," I swallowed anxiously. "It was a joint, right?"
She nodded. "Yes. I yelled at him and he just took off, saying I didn't trust him, and that it was a cigarette. Rosalie it wasn't, it was pot, he wreaked of marijuana."
"I believe you, mom," I assured her. "I know."
"I'm just so sick of this."
"Yeah," I breathed out, staring at her frightened face.
"It's pouring," she complained, trying to turn on the heat but the music turned on instead. "God dammit."
When she went to bend down to turn it off, I looked up and noticed something in the road ahead. "Mom," I said, her still trying to work the heater.
"What, will you hold on," she argued, not paying attention to where she was staring the wheel.
That's when I wiped the window in front of us and noticed a big, huge, pickup truck. "MOM!" I yelled, her snapping back against her seat as the horn blared, her jerking our car far to the side and us both driving off the street and onto the grass.
Finally we stopped, and she sat silently, as still as a brick wall. "I'm, I'm so sorry," she said, starting to cry until I took off my seat belt and stared down at it, realizing it could have just saved my life.
"Don't be," I said, looking over at her and letting a few terrified but yet relieved tears fall. "We were both wearing our seat belt, that's all that matters."
"I wasn't paying attention and I lost control," she rushed out, me hugging her.
"It's okay," I whispered, rubbing her back and kissing her cheek. "I know you didn't mean it. It was just a little mistake on your part, but we're fine."
"We could have died!" she exclaimed, making me fall back into my seat.
"Yeah, but we didn't, because this was our chance to survive through that freak accident," I snapped, hating the anger in my tone. "Alex doesn't have a chance, because he's sick even though he didn't lose control of anything."
"What are you talking about," she demanded, my hands covering my face entirely.
"I'm just pissed off, alright," I gasped, trying to catch my breath, hearing another sound of thunder.
"What were you trying to get at, that comment about Alexander," she repeated herself.
"You could have gotten us into a car accident, because of that small little mistake of not paying attention to the road," I hesitated, biting my lip, and then finishing. "He doesn't deserve this shit he's going through. What mistake did Alex make, mom?"
She stared at me, silently, and then continued driving down the quiet, and stormy road.
School on Monday was hard, especially because Alexander never showed up to my locker. I really needed to buy myself a cell phone. It would make things so much easier. I went to my first period class and for the first half an hour Stephanie wasn't there. Finally when I was working on my science worksheet when I heard the door open, and it was her.
She gave our teacher her late pass and sat down in the desk next to me, putting her bag on the floor and trying to avoid my eyes until I threw a pencil at her.
"Ow!" she exclaimed, Ms. Gilson turning around to stare at us.
"Excuse me, Stephanie Sheffield," she began, crossing her arms and scowling.
"Um, I hit my funny bone on this chair," she rushed out. "Sorry."
"Alright, settle down," she said sternly, sitting at her desk, ignoring us.
"Pssst," I whispered, Stephanie finally turning to look at me.
"What's up?" she whispered back.
"How is Alexander doing?" I asked, not caring how loud my voice was.
"He was up a lot last night. I kept hearing him walking around. I don't think he could even sleep," she said, sadness in her tone. "He was exhausted this morning, so Nancy let him sleep in. Maybe he'll come later if he gains some energy."
"Oh, okay," I nodded, looking back down at my paper and noticing the scribbled broken heart up at the corner.
The rest of the day went by, just as simple as that. Lunch, Stephanie and Darlene sat with me, of course silently. Everything was difficult now. It was hard for us to talk about a subject without the thought of Alex being sick crossing our minds. On the bright side, I got a B+ on my English essay. Track was nice, especially because we got to run our anger out instead of ripping someone's head off.
I walked home with Jake and Stephanie, and for the rest of the day I relaxed on the couch. I tried calling Alex's cell phone several times, but got no answer. I took a hot shower and went to bed early, waking up the next morning and laying silently in under my warm covers. I didn't really have the strength to get up, but I held on to the thought of my boyfriend showing up at my locker in my head, so I picked myself up, got dressed, and had my mother drive me to school.
I walked to my locker and twisted the lock, my hands shaking for an unknown reason I didn't understand. I held open my bag, ready to take everything out until I got a strange feeling in the pit of my stomach.
"Hey beautiful," Alex said, holding onto my waist from behind me.
I stuffed my textbooks into my locker and turned around quickly. I threw my arms around his neck and he nearly lifted me off the ground. "I missed you," I told him, squeezing his neck as tight as I could.
"I was only gone for a day," he laughed.
I squeezed him tighter after hearing this. "But it was a very long day," I complained.
He put me back down and smiled. "I wasn't feeling well."
"It's alright. You don't have to explain that to me," I assured him.
"I didn't call because I was sleeping the whole day."
"Okay," I shrugged.
"You're not even a little mad?" he asked, with a confused expression overtaking his face.
"Mad?" I echoed.
"At me," he paused. "For not calling you?"
"Why would I be mad?" I asked him quietly, kissing him quickly before he could say another word.
"I don't know," he sighed.
"It's your first week after your first dose of chemo," I said.
"I know," he said, closing my locker and leaning his back against it.
"So I'm definitely not mad at you, Alex. How are you feeling today?"
"Tired, drained, but I'm okay," he said.
"I'm glad."
"Yeah," he whispered. "At least I'm alive, which is good."
People were now everywhere in the hallway, bumping mostly into me. Ever since Alex had made our relationship public, no girls have accepted it. Ever since the day of his treatment things have been different for us. We've been more loving, and we never wanted to be apart from each other.
"Yes," I told him. "It's great."
"I just have really bad headaches every now and then."
"Maybe Dr. Carter can give you something," I suggested.
"Yeah, Nancy is calling him later. It's whatever."
"So have you let any of your teachers know yet?"
"About?" he asked me.
I wanted to be quiet because of all of the kids that were still in the hallway, so I spoke softly. "Your cancer," I whispered.
He frowned. "No. Not yet."
"When?"
"Probably when I start showing symptoms," he said. "I just want to keep it quiet for now."
"So I'm the only one who knows, besides your sisters?" I smiled, knowing how special I was.
He nodded. "Yup. Well, I told some of the guys on the football team," he admitted.
"They won't tell anyone, right?"
"I hope not," he said. "They're my friends. I told them to keep it on the down low."
"Oh. Then they probably won't make it a big deal."
"Yeah," he smiled, and then looked like he got some kind of pain in his head.
"You alright?"
"Yeah," he argued, but still smiling. "I said I'm fine."
"Okay, sorry," I said.
"Don't be."
"You know how proud I am of you, right?" I asked him softly.
His eyes looked like he was in peace. "You are?" he asked, with a crooked smile.
I nodded. "Yes," I answered.
"Thanks," he muttered, his amazing sky blue eyes staring at me, making me speechless.
"You're very welcome," I hugged him.
"I love you," he told me.
It felt so perfect, him saying that to me. "I love you too," I giggled.
Then as I looked down the hall I saw some of his friends walking towards us.
"Should I get to class?" I asked him.
"Of course not," he said, pulling me closer to him. "You're my girl."
"What's good?" Jeremy said, giving him 'daps'.
"Chilling," Alexander said.
"How you feeling dude?"
"I'm fine, I guess," he said, looking a little irritated. "Head sort of throbs."
"Are you coming to practice today?" Tristan asked him.
He looked down at me for a second, and then back to them. "I don't think so."
They all looked disappointed, and then Dave spoke up. "We know that you having cancer is a big deal," he said, pretty loud.
"Shut up," Alex snapped, staring at everyone walking by us. Thankfully they weren't paying attention.
"Why?"
"I said to keep quiet about it," Alex reminded them both.
"Nobody knows?" Will looked confused, just as much as everyone else did.
He put his arm around my shoulder. "Not the entire school," he said, clearly mad. "Just Rosie, my family, and you guys."
"You going through that chemo shit sucks, we get it," Dave said.
"Yeah," he frowned, not understanding what he was saying, although I did, and I couldn't believe it.
"But football is important to us."
Alex shook his head. "And my life is important to me," he said.
Ian looked angry. "We know that man," he told him. "But you're a good player and we need you."
"I'll be there at next practice," he told them.
Dave looked bored. "You have to give this your all. Some of us only have football as our future."
"I know," he admitted.
Ian was staring at everyone walking by. "You're the only one on our team who actually has brains," he said. "You're smart. You're going to college to become something great. We're not."
"What's up with the complaining? I'll only miss this one practice."
Jeremy turned around and walked away, furious. "Whatever."
"What's your problem?" Alex shouted after him, making the hall go quiet, everyone staring at us.
Jeremy stopped suddenly and was glaring at him. "You," he growled. "Football is all I got."
"And why does that give you the right to bitch at me for missing one stupid practice?"
He hit a locker and nearly ran towards us. Alex moved in front of me and waited until Jeremy settled down. "You're the best player we got," he scowled, making a scene.
"I said I'll be there," Alex argued.
"When?" he demanded.
"Next practice."
"We need you at every practice," Jeremy snapped. He definitely had an anger problem.
I could tell Alex was getting pretty mad too, so I held onto his arm just to remind him that I was there. "If I could go today then I would," he said quietly. "But like I said, I'm not feeling well."
"You sure you don't just want to chill with your girl instead?" Ian butted in.
He stared at him in shock; I could see his face now that I was beside him. "Alex," I whispered.
He shook his head, completely ignoring me and also everyone else that was watching. "Maybe I do," he argued, raising his voice.
"Then just say it," Will complained.
"Why are you guys ganging up on me?" he shouted. "You have no clue how I feel!"
"It's just football," Jeremy argued, stepping closer. "You can run up and down a field, can't you?"
"I feel sick to my stomach," he told them honestly.
"Yeah," Tristan laughed, walking away with Ian.
Dan spoke up next. "So nobody else knows about you having cancer?" he said, purposely saying it loud.
I gasped, amazed by how his friends were treating him. All of the kids that were still in the hall heard him perfectly clear. "Let's go," I told him.
"Screw you, Dan," Alex growled, pushing him away from us.
"You probably aren't even sick," Jeremy laughed.
"Stop it," I yelled at them.
"I got this," Alex whispered to me, facing them again. "And you guys actually were my friends, right?"
They all were silent, until Dave said something. "We were your teammates."
I was getting so nervous and when his fist slammed into the locker I knew I had to get him away from everyone. "So this whole damn time you all were using me just for football," he asked, not caring about everyone else that was listening.
Jeremy smirked. "Just tell us if you'll be at practice today."
"Not today," he said, raising his voice again.
"Maybe you should just quit," Dave offered.
"Get out of my face," he said, as I pulled him back by his arm.
"Calm down," I told him, as he turned to look at me in confusion.
"Rosie, hold on," he told me, looking back at them. "I'm not lying to you about me being sick," he said. "I mean it."
Jeremy looked like he thought it was funny. "Oh really?"
"Yeah really," he stated.
"Then why doesn't every else seem to know about your illness," Dave questioned.
At this point I was disgusted. "Can't you guys just stop it?" I demanded. "All of you shut up!"
Jeremy stared at me in hatred. "You're the one who took him away from football in the first place," he told me.
"Don't talk to her like that," Alex snapped, getting in his face.
"Stop," I said loudly, trying to pull him away again.
"Or what?" Dave said, them both acting like this whole thing was a joke.
"I thought you guys were cool," he frowned, moving back towards me. "I respected you all."
"We don't respect liars," Jeremy glared.
"I'm not lying," he yelled, hitting the locker again. "Why the hell would I lie about me having a disease that could easily kill me and ruin my whole future?"
"Special treatment, maybe?" Dave smirked.
"I do get treatment believe it or not," Alex whispered, and then started to yell again. "It's called poison that drips into my IV. Chemotherapy, look it up."
I moved my way in front of him and grabbed his face. "STOP," I told him. "People are staring."
He took my hands and pulled them away, still staring at the boys who he thought were his friends. Dave looked confused, while Jeremy just looked happy and almost proud of himself for making a such a big scene.
"How do we know that you're telling the truth?" Jeremy asked him, crossing his arms.
Yeah," Dave said. "The truth."
At this point Alex didn't say anything. I was staring up at his expressionless face, waiting for him to say something. Suddenly out of nowhere I saw blood drip from his nose. I knew that it wasn't dangerous, and it was only a side effect of the chemo, but it really startled me. "Alex," I said, scared of how he was going to take it.
He looked down at me. "What?"
"Your nose is bleeding," I whispered.
He slowly put his finger against it, and after he noticed that I was right he stared at me, looking like he was going to cry.
"Alex," I said, as he looked at every single person who was around him.
"You want proof?" he whispered, anger and sadness filling his voice.
They both gulped, and said nothing.
"Here's your damn proof," he said quietly, as I got goose bumps.
Jeremy and Dave looked like they went into a state of shock. "How's that proof?" Jeremy asked, now quiet and almost shaking.
"It's from the chemotherapy," Alexander said, telling almost everyone in the hall. "It's from the poison that they're putting into my body. It causes internal bleeding."
Dave looked embarrassed. "We didn't know," he admitted.
"Yes you did," he answered, calmly. "You just don't give a shit about anything or anyone besides that stupid ball you throw around the damn field."
"I didn't want to believe it," Jeremy said. "It was too much for me to handle."
"Well guess what," he frowned. "I'm done. I quit. I'm off the team."
"What?" they both gasped.
"If you want to treat me like I'm a piece of shit, then you can play all by yourself and lose every single game that you have," he said loudly. "I'm out."
A girl randomly spoke up, staring at Alex as if he was some type of alien. "Cancer?" she asked him. "I knew there was something mysterious about you!"
"That's why you're always alone," another girl gasped.
He completely ignored her and turned to stare at them once again.
"Are you happy now?" he growled, turning in the opposite direction and shoving his way through everyone.
I stepped forward and got in Jeremy's face, viciously glaring at him. "You disrespectful bitch," I hissed, giving him a good push.
"Listen, I'll talk to him," he told me, as I pushed Dave next.
"Both of you stay the hell away from him," I threatened, turning around and shoving the girl, who dissed my boyfriend, into the wall. "Alex," I called, chasing after him.
He kept walking and then flung the door of the boy's bathroom open. I didn't care about anything at this point so I followed in after him.
Once I got inside I saw him standing in front of the mirror, holding the sink and closing his eyes. I walked to his side slowly and watched, as he stood motionless. I wrapped my arms around him lightly and was silent.
He eventually opened his eyes and I noticed how watery they were. I walked to the paper towel dispenser and grabbed a few, wetting them with the water from the nearest sink. He was staring at me as I walked back over to him, and I whipped the blood from his nose without saying anything. I held it there and he was still staring me straight in the eyes.
"I'd ask you if you were okay," I finally whispered. "But, I know that you're not."
"I'm fine," he tried saying, while I shook my head.
"Don't lie to me."
As soon as a tear fell from his eye he whipped it away quickly, holding the paper towel himself now. After it stopped and the blood was gone, he threw it away in misery. He walked over to the wall and sat down on the floor with his back against it. I sat down next to him and we didn't talk for at least five long minutes. He had his arms around me and my head was against his chest. I didn't know if he could tell, but a few tears from my eyes leaked onto his t-shirt.
I didn't understand how people could be so mean. I didn't understand how his friends could just use him for football, and not stay true to his friendship. I couldn't believe how they had no feelings whatsoever towards him having cancer. I couldn't believe that they treated him like he was some sort of monster, some kind of animal.
"I feel like a freak," he said, breaking all the unsettling thoughts from my mind.
"What do you mean?" I whispered, sitting up and looking at him.
"I don't know," was all he could say.
"You're not a freak," I told him, trying to make this whole thing not a huge deal. "Let's go to our classes and everything, and we can go somewhere other then the cafeteria for lunch."
"Like where?" he murmured.
"Well we can go to the library," I suggested, not giving it much thought.
"I don't want to be around people," he said, looking disgusted and hurt.
"But, where else is there to even go?"
His eyes were suddenly angry. "I. Don't. Know."
"Oh," I said, barely any sound to my voice.
He shook his head and his face softened. "I'm sorry," he quietly said, taking my hand and waiting for me to respond.
"Listen," I started off, wanting so badly to kick every single guy on the football team in the face. "They are stupid, idiotic jerks, okay? They aren't worth it. As a matter of fact, they aren't even worth anything."
"I know, I wouldn't care so much but everyone around us heard him announce clearly about me having cancer," he stated, waiting a few seconds before continuing. "I don't know if I can do this," he whispered, as I stood up quickly and held out my hand.
"You can do this, Alex. You can do anything," I told him, my tone soothing and calm, trying my best to bring up his spirits.
"Yeah I guess you're kind of right. If I can get poison put into my veins then I can pretty much handle anything," he let out, actually sounding sarcastic about it.
"But that's exactly right," I stated.
"I don't want to stay here," he told me, standing up without taking my hand.
"What do you mean, you're leaving?"
"I guess I am," he frowned, about to walk past me until I grabbed his shoulders and pushed his back against the wall.
"No you are not," I said to him, very sternly. "You can't let those kids do that to you. You're better than them, so why can't you just ignore them and stay here with me?"
"Because I can't," he said, staring into my eyes with so much anger that it almost hurt me.
"Because you don't want to," I fiercely growled, my voice guarded.
"You're right, Rosie," he snapped, taking my wrists and holding them down by my sides. "I don't want to be made a fool."
"You'd be considered a fool if you just left the school," I told him.
He stopped struggling to get by me at this point, and dropped his gaze to the floor. "You're right."
"I know I am," I said softly, waiting for his eyes to return to mine. "Let's just go to the beach for lunch. It's five minutes away, so we'll have like a half an hour just to relax."
It looked like he was thinking about it, but then he shrugged. "Okay."
"You alright?" I asked him, waiting to hear him scream. He looked so mad. I couldn't blame him.
"Yeah, I'm fine," he told me, cautiously.
"Fine?" I laughed, him smiling. "What does fine mean?"
"That I'm not alright," he rolled his eyes. "Okay, no, I'm not alright. I'm upset, but I can handle this."
"Are you positive?" I smiled.
"Yeah. I have you. Let's drive to the beach," he offered, us both walking out of the bathroom and heading down the hallway on our way to his car.