Today's Run BTS shoot was in Gapyeong. The team had arrived at 5 in the morning to finish last minute preparations around the resort. It was going to be a tough shoot as the boys would be doing activities in water. Plus, I noticed gloomily, the skies were grey. I had packed an extra set of clothes just in case it rained. Past experiences had made me realise that returning home wet and cold was no fun. Meanwhile, Ji Hyuk oppa and I were taping GoPros at the edge of a swimming pool.
"Oppa, can I ask you something?" I spoke, and paused to bite off a strip of silver tape.
"Sure, ask away," he said.
"I have a friend," I began, "who's an employee at a company - I'm not at liberty to say which -", I had planned this conversation in my head word for word, "- and she likes this guy, except he is a trainee. Do you think something can happen between them? Or should she give it up?"
Ji Hyuk oppa gave me a knowing smile.
"A friend who likes a trainee? Ah, let me see." He pretended to think hard. "It's not worth it." he snapped. "And you know this."
"Yeah, I know but-" I got defensive, "- they ended up having drinks together - not alcohol, just soft drinks and they sort of hung out together and now she's confused."
"Even if company policies didn't deem it extremely unprofessional, trainees don't have time for dating. Not the serious ones at least. Unless she wants to lose her mind, she should stay clear of trainees," he spoke seriously as he worked, then turned to me and added, "and idols too."
Well. Not that I was expecting any other answer.
"They're not seeing each other yet, are they?" he continued, "So tell your friend to divert her energy to a normal person."
"Wow, oppa, you make dating sound so mechanical. Who broke your heart?" I asked sarcastically.
"She was an idol." he replied.
"WHAT -?"
He never told me who it was.
The last few days had delegated the terrace incident into a corner of mind that housed fantasies rather than memories. Oh, I remembered it vividly. But the more I thought about it, the more unreal it felt. We still greeted each other very formally when we met at work - and that was all really. What else could happen?
It was late afternoon now, but the sky was as grey as it had been before. I was test flying a drone next to the giant floating obstacle course that had been set up for the Get the Ball game, when Ae Ra joined me. The members had arrived as well. I was too focused on landing the drone safely to look.
"I didn't see that cute sunbae of yours today." She said while scanning the crew around us. I cast a glance at Ji Hyuk oppa with squinted eyes.
"Oh no, he's cute too but I mean the other kind of cute, the Japanese guy," she added, giggling.
"Oh, Yuki. He's in the editing department so he doesn't come - ow!" Someone had spanked my head with a water bottle. "Speak of the devil..." I muttered. There he was, laughing away in his dark hoodie and shorts. The normal guy.
"What were you two gossiping about? I heard my name for sure." Ae Ra turned red. I punched him lightly in the gut and said, "you heard wrong. How did you end up here?" I snapped.
"I just wanted to. You have an issue?" he fired back.
We carried on bickering until I saw Jungkook staring at us. He looked away just as I noticed him, but I could've sworn his expression had been one of deep FOMO.
Just then, Director PD-nim called out, "Y/N shi!" He was the only one who used my name anymore. "Check if all the cameras on the float are recording!"
Oh no.
The float was designed to be slippery. Realizing what was going on, Yuki sunbae guffawed and yelled, "HAKSENG! FIGHTING!"
Well, it couldn't be helped. I shook my head and sprinted towards my fate.
I slipped so many times on the obstacle float that I lost count. It must have looked hilarious from a distance because quite a few people cheered and laughed at my every movement. It was literally like having a live laugh track in my life. So much for hating getting wet, I thought, pulling myself out of the chilled lake for the last time. As I returned, drenched, squeezing water out of my short hair, I couldn't help but laugh with the rest of them.
Jimin pointed at me and asked Director PD-nim with wide eyes, "we have to go through that?"
I flopped down on the floor, chortling. The shoot was so chaotic that I laughed until my stomach hurt. This episode would be a classic for sure. But I was shivering by the end, so I ran to our minibus outside at the first chance I got to get changed.
I'd left my bag towards the last few seats. Unzipping it in a flash, I extracted the packet of fresh clothes I'd packed for myself. A pair of jeans and another black sweatshirt, identical to the one I was wearing at present. Could I change inside the bus itself? I figured I could, provided I locked the door, windows were already shut. Just as I walked up the aisle again, someone climbed up the bus. Startled, I took a few steps back.
It was Jungkook.
He looked startled too, though not as much as me. "Do you need something?" I asked, confused. His long-ish hair was still wet and so was his turtleneck.
"I-oh-nothing. Wrong bus." He made the most adorable face and started to leave.
"Wait." I blurted out. "Seriously. What's going on?"
"Nothing. Seriously." He left quickly. I clutched the packet of my clothes in my hands. I hadn't been able to fathom his expressions at all. Had I presumed too much and asked the wrong question?
Just as I was beginning to relax, I heard footsteps boarding the bus again. For the second time, I jumped. Jungkook looked back and forth between the floor, me, the window, me, the ceiling, me -
"What are you -?"
"-I like you," he began - wait, what - "I like talking to you. I like listening to you talk. And there's not - it's not - possible for us to meet like two normal people, is it?" He paused, and breathed sharply, "oh god, why do you have that expression - I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable, I'll just go."
I stood there, my mouth slightly open after being interrupted mid-question. Meanwhile, he looked at the floor but didn't leave. My feet must have walked up to him on their own. Barely a foot apart. Very unsteady. My eyes caught his own, a little surprised, a little curious.
"You don't make me uncomfortable, Jungkook." I spoke softly. It was strange, hearing his name informally on my lips in his presence. My heart was on the verge of exploding. We simply looked at each other for one infinite moment -
Until it broke. Because he stepped forward and kissed me.
Wait, what?
He'd taken my face in his hands, and rather gently, put his lips on mine. And I froze entirely. Another infinite moment passed. My body recovered before my mind did. I chucked the packet in my hands at what hopefully was a seat on the side (I wasn't aiming for it, just getting the packet out of the way). And I kissed him back.
One moment and we broke through weeks of formal smiles and mandated restraints. I slipped my hands around his neck while he put his around my waist. My brain must've gotten tossed along with my packet of clothes because I could think nothing. It was the warmest I'd ever felt - warm enough to melt every wall I'd build around myself. The scent of lemongrass. His damp hair. His beautiful neck. His arms around me. His eyes, nervously trying to see how I'd react. Breathing so close.
A voice seemed to come from far away. It was my own. In my head. The bus door is open. We're on a bus. On a shoot. With hundreds of people. I pulled away, but not entirely. I could feel his thumb tracing my jaw as we stood nose to nose, knowing that we had to - but didn't want to - leave. And the only thought that still hung in my foggy brain - wait, WHAT?
I moved away, blinking to bring my brain back to life. He stood there in silent anticipation of my reaction, his ears a little pink. I must've mumbled something because he asked, "come again?" I was on autopilot, but I raised my voice a little. "Go. You still have an event left."
"I-yeah." he stepped back but didn't leave. Just looking into his smouldering eyes made me want to drive this damn bus to a place where no one would disturb us.
I gave him a small smile. "Let's catch each other later." He smiled with relief. "Now, go -!" I said.
He grinned, but didn't move, "ah, seriously, what am I going to do with you?" I cried.
"Anything you want," he shrugged. That shut me up.
But he did leave after a moment and I slumped into a seat. I was beaming and panicking at the same time. Oh god. What now?