NAOMI'S POV:
The single beats of my heart matched the pounding sound of his footsteps perfectly as he stumbled quickly down the hallway. Loud as a stampede, each approaching step becoming more and more thunderous, and even more untreatable. Mr. Patry hadn't said much on the phone, which undoubtedly intensified Mr. Davis' concerns. He never liked vagueness, being in the dark about instances awoken something troubling inside of him.
Turning my head, I glanced over at my bed and had a pleasant thought of how nice it would be to crawl inside and stay there for the next four years of my life because the consequences of what happened right now are nothing short of salient. Jasper and I broke a very important rule, and by breaking that rule we subsequently broke several others. Not only was Jasper in my room alone, but he was also in the girl's dormitory, half naked while kissing me and I allowed it. Even though the thought was blissfully replaying in my head, I had to sit in agony and wait for my executioner to arrive.
When he finally reached my room and forced his way into the door frame where Mr. Patry was, he glanced inside to spot me immediately for any physical injuries. Realizing there was none, he turned his attention to Mr. Patry for an explanation.
"What...?" Looking inside again, he directed his attention immediately to Jasper. As it processed in his head, his look of concern had turned into epiphanic dismay. "What's going on here?" He bypassed Mr. Patry, standing directly in front of us.
Even though he looked more toward Jasper, and although I was pretty sure Mr. Davis does not have heat-vision, I shielded my eyes from his piercing glare.
"One of you better answer me." He exclaimed, snapping both of our attentions in place.
Jasper and I exchanged looks, neither of us knowing how exactly to describe the situation because we both knew any word said would be the end of us.
"It's uh, well it's..." I began, but my mouth turned dry.
"Yes Naomi?"
"It's actually a really funny story, you're going to laugh." I chuckled hysterically in apprehension.
"I can promise you I won't."
My smile disappeared, within five seconds I managed to waste my first strike.
"Naomi and Jasper were in here alone kissing..." Mr. Patry said clearly, indicating the little patience he had left. "And Jasper's shirt was off."
Glancing back to him, Mr. Davis looked at Mr. Patry as if he were mistaken. That's how shocked he was. But that shock-filled approach was soon squashed by a presence of resentment. Folding his arms across his chest, he stepped forward in front of Jasper who kept his eyes steadily on him because he knew otherwise would only make the matter worse.
We both noticed his displeasure when his eyes traced down Jasper's shirt and identified the stain.
Realizing it, Jasper quickly added: "It's lotion." He asserted as he pointed to his shirt and then at the spilt bottle of lotion on the floor. "N-nothing happened."
I think this was the longest I've ever witnessed Mr. Davis silent. He just stood here glaring at us with a blistering red face and a vein piercing from the side of his forehead. With a slow motion, he stepped in front of me and looked me coldly in the eyes as he knelt down.
"Nothing happened?" He asked.
"N-no sir. Just a kiss, that's all."
"That's all." He mocked. "Jim, will you tell one of the overseers to watch over the students? My time will be occupied here."
There goes my second strike.
"I will ring down. Jasper come to my office."
Quickly turning to me for one last exchange of remorse, he began to slowly walk out of the room, but Mr. Davis stepped in front of him. Their chests almost touching, he waited until Jasper looked at up him.
"And be sure to come to mine..." He uttered coldly. "First thing in the morning."
Jasper reached to the back of neck once more and put his head down, from where I was standing, I could hear him mumble 'shit' to himself.
"Yes sir." He managed to say clearly, despite his obvious uneasiness.
When he managed to slip away from Mr. Davis, he havered to Mr. Patry where he received a small shove out the door and then turned to the left, leaving me alone with both Administrators.
"I can handle it from here Jim." He said with his expression on me. "You're in for a long night young lady. Shut that door, we need to talk." He finally spoke.
"W-we're not going to your office?" I asked hesitantly, knowing full well I ran the risk of a harsher instrument, but I wanted more time to mount a defense.
"No, everything I need is right here; you, a chair, your desk, my belt, your hairbrush or that ruler..."
"Okay I get it," I interrupted. "you're very resourceful." I glanced past him, trying to emphasize my desperation.
He gave me a nonchalant smirk before motioning for me to obey. Mr. Patry hadn't said a word, he was standing in the background admiring the sudden prowess of Mr. Davis. More than likely appreciating this as he believes that Mr. Davis' leniency towards me has increased over the past few months.
"Go shut that door." He pointed behind him.
I obeyed and moved into the far corner away from my desk, trying to keep as much distance as I could. I staggered past him, turning my back to the wall so I could watch his movement, and went to my door. Mr. Patry had waited until I was almost next to him before he began his journey to the hallway.
"No."
Gripping the doorknob tightly, I took a deep breath and returned my attention to him. I could see Mr. Patry come to a complete stop almost instantly. His head had suddenly snapped as he turned to face me, but I was not concerned about him right now. My fight would be with my guardian.
"You want to run that by me again?" Mr. Davis said quickly, his eyes ferociously fixed on me.
"I-I said no." I declared, somehow managing to maintain my stance despite the twitching in my head. "Why should I..."
"Because I told you to and you will do as you're told, or you will spend every morning and night for the next week over my knee." He threatened.
Seeing me still hesitate, a fire ignited in his eyes that matched the intensity of his clenched jaw. "Let me pass." He waited until I moved from the door before taking the outer handle and pulling it shut.
I edged closer, carefully putting my ear against it so I could hear their whispers.
"There's one only instrument for inappropriate conduct." Mr. Patry said clearly, speaking in a normal tone.
"I agree. But I'm going to give her my belt for that."
"Absolutely, do whatever it is you need to do Harold."
"Cancel Jasper's chores for the morning, he's going to be spending a substantial amount of time with me tomorrow. I'll leave it to you to establish an appropriate chore list for Naomi."
I could hear their conversation come to a faint silence, indicating he would soon return so I moved as far away as I could from my door. Assuming the chair at my desk, I wait for him to come back inside. But he still hasn't.
My head was pounding almost as rapidly as my heart. There is nothing wrong giving a little kiss to someone I care about and someone who cares about me. Is there? What about me and Jasper angered Mr. Davis so?
I guess I'll find that out later...or at least I hope I do because now that Jasper and I crossed that line, it'll be impossible to go back. I needed to think of a detailed way to explain to him why it happened and why I told him no...Oh God, I told him no. What the heck was I thinking? That's a good way for any student to find themselves in the obituary page. Especially me.
When Mr. Davis returned alone, the level of my fear has suddenly inclined. It drastically changed the circumstance; everything came down on me at once. The tension. The adrenaline. And most definitely the regret of defying him. When I looked down, I saw a old fashioned carpet beater in his hand.
"You really believe that disobeying an order right now is the best thing to do?" He crossed his arms, exposing his harsh grips on his biceps.
"Can I please explain in your office?" I asked sincerely, realizing that my plan had backfired. "You said we would talk about it."
"Oh, and we will, believe me there are several things I have to say..." He stopped and put his hands to his sides. "But first I'm going to give you a good spanking for your insubordination and then for the other infractions."
"Well technically..."
"Technically? You're going to dispute this? We're in an enclosed room with various instruments and I'm wearing the heaviest belt I own, are you sure 'technically' is how you want to respond? Think before you answer."
I took a deep breath crossed my hands on my thighs. Taking this punishment right now is something I can't escape, the only one I may be able to is the one for kissing Jasper. I'll have to make my case then.
"No sir, I don't want to use technicalities. I'm sorry."
"What made you think that was a good idea?" He reached down to unbuckle his belt, pulling it slowly from the loops and then folding it over in his fist.
I shook my head in response, there was no point in trying to delay this punishment. I want this to go as quick as possible so I can get right down to Jasper and I. The agony of that decision was still lingering in my head, trumping everything in its path.
"Oh no, don't do that. Don't back-peddle Naomi. You made the choice to voice it, in front of others so now you're going to explain."
"Yes sir." I managed to begin, even though it did not answer his question at all. "I'm sorry...I just wanted to defend my actions with Jasper."
"Through disobeying me?" He asked that one clearly. "When I tell you to do something I expect it to be done immediately unless stated otherwise. You never tell me no and, if you object you certainly do not do it in the company of others!"
Taking a deep breath, I was trying to muster up and answer for it. But I had none. So I could only say, "O-okay. I'm sorry." I said quietly, slowly removing myself from my chair. "But Jasper and I..."
"Save it, that's a point of discussion for later. Right now, I want to talk about you and this defiant attitude. Let me give you some advice Naomi, do not anger someone when you want something from them. At least wait until after you get what you want. For instance, if I were to give you my approval, and that is a big if, that sure as hell was not the right course of action."
"You're right."
"You broke a very important rule in the Academy and, instead of making it easy on yourself and complying, you chose to disobey an order. We could be halfway finished with your next punishment but now we haven't even started your first."
I tried to steady by breathing as he motioned me I'm out of my chair. Aggressively adjusting the chair to give him more leg room, he assumed the seat.
"Come here." He beckoned me forward.
He did not stop until my lower stomach was basically touching his knees. When I reached as far as I could go, though I admit it took several minutes, he took me by my wrist and somehow pulled me closer to cup the underneath of my chin. Forcing me to look him in the eyes for the first time tonight.
"Now I'm going to administer your first punishment and you should know, if I have to repeat myself one more time tonight Naomi, I'm going to lose it...and for your sake let's hope that doesn't happen."
Frustrated and clearly on edge as if he was growing a short fuse, he slowly whispered each word that made me cringe at the later half. Nodding my head, he released his grip and leaned against the backrest. He waited for me to respond or for some action, but I had no instruction, and I did not want to speculate even though I knew fully well what to do. Instead, I stood there motionless.
"Stop fidgeting."
I hadn't noticed that I was chewing on my bottom lip, almost as much as I hadn't noticed how much I was fidgeting with my nails. Leaving them almost red.
"You know what to do." He demanded.
"Y-yes sir."
My hands were shaking immensely as I tried to unbutton my pants and pull them down. I kept my vision on him, I could tell he was even more impatient than he was before as he sat there waiting. That horrible belt draped across his shoulders I could see fire in his eyes. He has a beast in his eyes that's so hard to control when he was in Administrator-mode. Crawling across his knee, goosebumps formed on my arms and my legs as he fitted my underwear before adjusting himself.
SMACK. SMACK. He began with his hand. SMACK. SMACK. I grabbed the side legs of the chair for support, but all that grasping seemed to only limit my ability to breathe. SMACK. SMACK. After those, he widened his legs apart more, resulting in my chest and stomach sinking in which, regrettably, arched my back. SMACK. SMACK. SMACK. SMACK. SMACK. He alternated between my cheeks, making sure that there was no trace untouched. SMACK. SMACK. SMACK.
Patting my back, he grabbed my elbow and helped me get up. That was a lot quicker than I had expected and he did not even use the belt. There's going to be a lot more. I wouldn't be that lucky to get away but I had to try. Just as I reached down to grab my pants, he caught my hand.
"We're not finished." He stood up, resulting in me taking a step back in conjunction. Picking up his belt, he said; "Put your knees on the chair and grip the backrest."
I wanted to immediately object, but I was afraid of provoking him further. Even though he was being vague in his threat, I don't think I can handle living through whatever it is he had in mind. So, I approached the front of the chair and rolled up my sleeves before climbing on the top of the seat. Meanwhile, I could see his shadow where he was flexing his right arm. Preparing to administer my punishment and the sight of it made my skin crawl.
When I managed to get comfortably on the chair, he had to intervene with a correction, "Push your knees in so they are touching the backrest." He nudged them forward, resulting in me involuntarily having my bottom raised more.
Walking to my left side, he kept his eyes fixated on mine. SMACK. SMACK. SMACK. He began exactly where he left off, in the same spot with the same speed and accuracy. SMACK. SMACK. After a few hits, he began flipping his wrist more aggressively, somehow managing to intensify the heat radiating on my backend. SMACK. SMACK.
"I'm sorry." I cried out. "Please stop."
"You could see that I was already angry with you when I first arrived and instead of abiding by my instruction, you deliberately disobeyed me."
"Okay, I understand." I wept.
"Stay still."
SMACK. SMACK. SMACK. SMACK. SMACK. He came to the otherwise of the chair, parallel to where I was facing and pointed his belt at me. "I am not trying to take away your voice Naomi, but there is an appropriate time and place where you may object. That certainly was not the right time nor the right context."
Tears were streaming down my face as each strike delivered a piercing burn against my already reddened bottom. SMACK. SMACK. SMACK. He landed those final three directly across the middle, reaffirming the prior stings. SMACK. SMACK.
"Get down and get dressed." He said behind me, unwinding the belt to put it back on.
Instead of moving, which felt impossible as my legs were quivering, I put my forehead against my knuckles. Slamming his hand down on my shoulder, he helped me lean back allowing his hand to act as an aid for protection from falling.
"Listen to me, listen," He said flushed. "everything I do for you is in your best interest. Everything I tell you or instruct you to do has a purpose."
"Yes sir." I nodded in case my words were drowned out by my tears.
"You have one hour to calm yourself down and then come to my office; do you understand?"
"W-with that?." I tried to ask steadily.
"Yes, you will bring this down with you." He moved it from my dresser to my desk.
"Okay. I will." I wiped my cheeks and blew my nose.
He hesitated on leaving, I could see there was some remorse in his eyes, but he would never admit it. He continued his role of stern administrator and executed it perfectly as he adjusted his tie and walked out.
____________________________________
JASPER'S POV:
Trying to ignore the strain on my lower abdomen, I focused my attention to the middle of his desk where his calendar-top laid. Reading his appointments, I tried not to let my thoughts suffocate me on what instrument he was about to pull from his closet.
"Why is it every time you find yourself in my office it is always for an infraction?" He asked, rhetorically I hope.
Probably because of my emotionally manipulated asshole of a father. So there really is never any good news in seeing me. Despite the many reasons I had circulating in my head, many of them snide comments to help distract myself from the approaching pain, I remained silent and in position.
"Found it." He said eagerly, after a few minutes of rummaging through his cabinet and then slamming the door. "I haven't had to use this in a while."
My first instinct was to turn around to identify the pain, usually that helps decrease the pain as you know what the source is and when it will come. But if I did then it would only result in more strokes.
WHOOP. And there it was, the first one came down. A small blast of air flew by my ears and the pain took a minute to develop. But when it finally registered in my head, all I could feel was a sharp intense sting that was so isolated to one spot that I almost couldn't identify where on my rear it was. WHOOP. WHOOP. WHOOP. Each one was as if the pain had been paused but then congregated to make an incubator of splotches that spread prickling stings like dominos. WHOOP. WHOOP.
_________________________________
NAOMI'S POV:
Immediately following the punishment, I couldn't help from collapsing on my bed and burying myself under the cover so I can silently cry. I kept a small hole open directly in front of my forehead for breathing and so I can see my alarm clock. Lord only knows what would happen if I missed my one-hour break from Mr. Davis.
The second hand on my clock was pounding like a drum in my ear, so much that it was preventing me from getting even the slightest bit of sleep. Every second passed felt as if I were slowly fading away. In an ironic sense, I wanted to just go to his office and get it over with...but I know I'm in for a very long lecture and I haven't even mounted a defense for myself. Nor one for Jasper.
*Knock, Knock.*
There was only a two second pause before my door was opened and then shut firmly which resulted in a small flinch from me.
"Naomi your time is over, let's go to my office." The sincerity in his voice from before was gone, long gone and his harsh Administrator tone had taken its place.
Removing the covers from my head, I could see he was standing closely to my bed frame as he impatiently waited for me to move.
"Is the movie over?" I glanced to the hall and, thankfully, saw no one there.
"Almost." He glanced down at his wristwatch. "Let's go." Turning on his heels, he began to walk to my door. Stopping only once to see if I followed.
"Mr. Davis..." I wiped my nose and then my eyes.
"Naomi why are you still in bed? Get moving." He barked this time, his voice slightly rising.
Increasing my speed fourfold, I got out of bed and slipped on my sandals while swiftly grabbing the carpet beater to walk as briskly as I could behind him. He did not say a word as we left the girl's corridor, nor did he speak or even look at me during the entire walk to his office. The only interaction we had was after he pulled out his keys and inserted one into the keyhole of his office door, pushing it wide open to let me enter first.
"Let's start with the discussion. Tell me if this sounds familiar," He cleared his voice. "Braxton forbids inappropriate coed activities, students are not permitted in the rooms of the opposite sex unless they are performing chore duties." He recited as if he had explained it over a dozen times, which he probably had.
I went inside and pushed my stinging bottom aside to assume the right chair in front of his desk as he motioned to it with his hand. He closed the door behind him, and even though he did it subtly, I flinched hard in fear at what was to come.
"Your punishment will not be negotiated, but I will give you two minutes to explain yourself."
"Really?" I said in a surprised revelation.
Clenching his jaw, he nodded to show that he did not appreciate my comment. "Just because I am angry does not mean you cannot talk to me."
"Jasper's been having a really hard time with his family and, well we ran into each other by the phones and he asked if I could meet him to talk by the window on the second floor. You should have heard his phone call Mr. Davis, it was so awful." I shook my head. "I-I was just trying to help so I wanted to show him something from a book in my room and...the whole thing just happened so fast."
I could see his shoulders ease in tension as they subtly dropped. "Naomi, I admire your considerate nature, I truly do..." He waited until my eyes met his. "but you have to do it within the scope of the rules set forth in Braxton and anywhere else for that matter. There were so many other ways you could have handled that."
"Okay," I nodded my head as I tried to dry my cheeks. "okay I understand but it was just a kiss." Shrugging my shoulders, I could see his tonality deepen again. "It was..."
"Inappropriate." He interrupted. "This is not a simple mistake or something to take lightly. I told you before that you are held to the same expectations, if not slightly more since I am your guardian, as any other Braxton student. you know the rules. You know these consequences. You know them like the back of your hand, none of this is new to you...if you break the rules, expect to be punished."
That was the Administrator's favorite catch-phrase, the most absolute principle they live by regardless of context. Everything shouldn't be fixed all the time. My parents never would have given me such harsh consequences as these.
"Hand it over." He held out his hand. "I want you to bend over the arm of the couch."
"No, no, no please don't...not with this." I stood up and tried to hide myself behind the chair despite how ridiculous it was.
"Naomi, listen to me." He said slowly. "You're making this a lot worse for yourself."
"No! I don't think a spanking is the right..."
"And you think you are in an objective position to decide? If we all got to choose our punishments Naomi no one would learn their lesson."
"It-it's going to be too much pain for me."
"Naomi there is a right and wrong way to spank. The right way requires both a firm resolution to carry out the punishment in a meaningful and effective manner and the proper planning to assure your targeted result. I would never administer a cruelly painful spanking that would have any lasting harm or injury on you or any other student here." Unbuttoning his cuff sleeves, I felt frozen.
Gee, it's all clear to me now.
"The purpose is to punish in a firm but considerate manner, spanking hard enough to make it impactful but not so hard as to exceed the bounds of measured caring connection." He continued.
My eyebrows raised as I was impressed, "You sound like you've been working on that."
"Enough stalling." He shot me a deadly look, his harsh Administrator look that always made me instantly comply. "Pants down and bend over the couch."
I looked to my left and thought about how quick of a walk it was. About how much in a flash I would soon be in pain. Shaking my head, I fixed my posture to indicate I had no intention of moving.
"I already warned you about having to repeat myself so I suggest..."
"But Mr. Davis you don't..."
He stood straight and walked closely, almost two inches from me. He took a deep breath before clenching his jaw and saying: "I hate sending children into Room 113 and I would hate it even more if I had to send you there, but I will if I have to."
Feeling trapped, I gripped the top corners of the seat. Causing my knuckles to turn white.
"Y...yes sir." I sighed in defeat of his harsh look and relinquished the carpet beater in his palm.
I walked slowly to the arm of the couch, my head replaying the many times I've been in this position. On this couch, half-naked being punished. You would think this would get easier. After bending over, I was left with nothing but a close view of the soft, stitched grey seating-pillow before me.
My fear rising well beyond my height. I reached forward and pinched my nose, trying to keep myself from crying before he even began.
"Count aloud Naomi."
He slowly made his way to the back where my half-naked rear was exposed. I gripped the crack between the seating-cushions very tightly and tried to keep my head straight as he told me before.
WHOOP.
"O-one."
WHOOP. He kept his aim fixated on the lower half of my bottom, making sure that I would feel it for the next few hours whenever I sit down.
"Two." I said in a hoarse voice.
WHOOP. Giving me no time to process the thought of the last, I buried my face into the decorative pillow next to me and let out a small scream.
________________________________________
JASPER'S POV:
He left me standing in the corner with my hands on the back of my head and my rear end exposed. I tried to not stretch or flex my legs too much to avoid stretching, resulting in an inescapable pain of the red lashes forming on my skin. The carpet beater was not a regular instrument used by the Administrators, I had never received it and I've been here longer than anyone.
WHOOP. Another stroke came down, causing me to hurl forward and lose all control of my position.
"Keep those arms straight and tight." Mr. Patry barked at me. "No slouching."
Reassuming my position, I said through my gritted teeth: "Yes sir."
"Listen good Jasper, "Braxton may be a coed building but there are no coed floors. Students of opposite genders are not permitted in the corridors of which they do not reside unless they are passing through or have work duties. That is one of the first rules you learn here at Braxton and yet you were performing inappropriate acts in your room with a female student."
"I know the rule sir." I said snidely.
"And yet you broke it."
"We had a moment, there was a connection. It's not like it was planned." I said defensively.
"But you continued on afterwards, and who knows how far it would have gotten had I not been there to intervene."
"I wouldn't have taken advantage of her."
"Lower your voice." He barked at me. "There are a lot of ways to take advantage of another, aside from what you are thinking." He corrected. "Get dressed and look at me."
I pulled up my boxes, carefully expanding the elastic strip to go over my bottom to avoid any contact. My pants were around here somewhere.
"Jasper have you considered that perhaps neither you nor Naomi are ready for this? I understand finding solace in another that shares your same...conflict is comforting but that can be easily manipulated by your feelings."
I let out a sigh to strain some of the tension mounting in my legs. "Yes sir, I understand."
"You both should take things slowly...so you can fully process everything that you are having conflict with."
"But you are saying that I can date her though?" That was the only thing I heard.
"Braxton discourages relationships between students."
"But doesn't forbid it, does it?"
He smiled, "That decision is left to Mr. Davis...but I can assure you that he will not be so easy to win over. And you most certainly will not be permitted any physical contact."
"So what I'm hearing is...I have a shot?" I smiled hopelessly like a fool.
"Good luck Jasper." He returned a small smirk. "You are going to need it." He turned around to return to his desk.
"A-any advice?" I know I'm pushing my luck, but I don't exactly have anyone I can call to ask about this. Not anymore I don't.
He hesitated, wondering whether or not it would be professional to tell me. "Stay away from sharp objects and don't speak unless spoken to. He will have many things to say to you so you should consider them respectively."
Great advice.
"But," He broke my chain of thought. "do not let me catch you being physical, in any way, with another student again. Is that clear?"
"Yes sir."
"Go on."
________________________________________________
NAOMI'S POV:
WHOOP.
"Nine."
I was picking at my own nails now, trying to distort some of the pain by administering it elsewhere. But nothing seemed to be working. There was a stiffening in my thighs as I could feel a cramp forming from thrusting back and forth after each hit.
WHOOP.
"Ten."
"Alright, get up and get dressed." He said quickly before rushing to his corner cabinet and returning the carpet beater to its place.
I sniffled some, trying to halt my crying so that I could actually speak to him but the tears kept coming despite my efforts. Leaning up, needing to give myself a small push from the seat of the couch, I winced as my pants came in contact with my bare skin.
"Aside from being a Braxton rule, in my household, this type of intimacy is not something that will be tolerated with you being this young. The choices you make have consequences, and these choices come with especially severe consequences."
My chin was practically glued to my chest, it was very hard to keep my head up or even my eyes fully open.
"Naomi Taylor, look at me when I'm speaking to you." He said harshly.
"It's not fair." I closed my eyes to release a penetrating tear.
"What's not fair?"
"If I were home right now my parents would have no problem with this."
His expression softened for a moment, only a moment before he returned to his stern tone. His expression softened slightly as he slowly nodded his head, contemplating the theory in his head. I know it's unfair of me to expect the same reactions from Mr. Davis as I once did my parents, but Mr. Davis is a lot stricter...and the consequence here is much more painful.
"How can you be so sure your parents would have no issue with this?" He backfired.
"I...I don't know, but I don't think they would be making as big of a deal as you are right now."
"I am only making a big deal of this because you are not emotionally mature nor prepared enough."
My eyebrows furrowed instantly as a wave of confusion, and offense, hit me, "What are you talking about? You always tell me how mature I am..."
"For your age. That does not mean you have exceeded all emotional maturity, especially not the maturity that is required for this."
"I-I don't understand." I could feel the pressure mounting in my head, and I longed for instant relief. Something to absolve me of the mixed emotions I was feeling right now.
Letting out a sigh, he walked around his desk and turned the second visitor chair toward me before motioning me forward so he may speak more calmly. It did not take me long before I was against him, he was still a little taller than me even though he was sitting. But he made sure I was able to look him in the eyes as he was doing the same for me.
"Naomi think of everything that has happened to you just this past year...you're drowning in conflicting emotions and you're still coping with the fact that your parents have disappeared. You haven't moved on and you definitely have not spent adequate time processing this." He reached out and grabbed my hand, giving it a small squeeze to show his sincerity. "Right now you are too vulnerable to be...to be intimately involved with a boy."
"So you don't trust me?" I went to pull back some, but he caught it and leaned forward.
"I don't think you've developed enough yet."
I turned my head and focused my eyes on the carpet, not wanting to look him in the eyes because, if I did, I know that this would be the end of it. In my head, his logic was sound. He was correct in saying that I am emotionally vulnerable because there have been so many emotions coursing through my head these past few months. Anger, fear, disgust, anguish...but I was longing for a personal connection outside Mr. Davis.
"You are very mature for your age, I am not sure what, if any, your parents had mentioned to you about sexual activism but I need you to understand that I care about you and I want to make sure you make good decisions and that all possible consequences, even outside of this, are thoroughly considered."
After a moment's consideration, I nodded my head. Even though I did not want to admit it to him nor myself, I know that he has a valid point and what he is saying has a lot of truth.
"And, in my own personal beliefs, I believe this is something you that requires steady development. Maybe in a year or two, when you turn sixteen, we can discuss this more."
I started crying immensely, letting everything out before him without even caring.
"Will you stop? Okay, will you just stop? Can't you leave it alone?" I ripped my hand back.
"Talk to me, what's the matter?"
Sniffling, trying to muster up some sound to come out of my mouth, I looked down at my charm bracelet. "There's no hope in finding my parents...you're already talking about me and you in a year or two. It's such a long time..." I stopped because I started sobbing uncontrollably. "It's like I'm being held back and you're not even trying."
He came closer to me, forcing his hands under my arms so mine would be forced to wrap around his neck. "Honey, you have to believe me, we did everything we could. We tried every angle, called every number, searched within the area...we even brought you to your house and you saw that there was nothing there. You talked to the sheriff and the attorneys, you created a list of friends that were close to you and your family but no one knows where they are. It's not that we've given up, it's that there is nothing more we can do."
"Where do I go from here? How do I accept that my family is just gone?"
"If you don't want to move on...if you want to continue searching for them I understand. But I need you to be reasonable."
"Reasonable?" I exclaimed.
"I'm not asking you to compromise yourself, I'm just trying to tell you that we are so resilient. You can be so strong, you already are. Even when you really don't want to be."
"Thanks Mr. Davis." I somehow managed to smile despite all the emotional and physical pain I was in.
He gave me a long, hard look before lowly smiling and shaking his head, as if he had a giant regret to unleash.
"If your feelings for Jasper are genuine then you may pursue them..." He waited for a reaction, which he received through a shimmering glimpse of hope on my face. "but they do not surpass the length of a conversation. Is that understood?"
"Yes sir." I nodded, instantly realizing how hard it's going to be now that we already crossed that line.
"Why don't you try to get some sleep? You can nap on the couch if you want."
That dark and sinister day the Administrators told me my family disappeared I slept on Mr. Davis' couch for almost a week. The feeling of abandonment was so overwhelming that I was terrified of sleeping alone. Even though he carried to my room after I was blissfully asleep, he was always there to check in on me in case I had any nightmares. I got so used to having three people tell me goodnight every night that when it all disappeared to me...I needed someone there with me to fill in that gap. I think tonight might be one of those nights.