"All the things I did
Just so I could call you mine
The things you did
Well, I hope I was your favorite crime"
Favorite Crime – Olivia Rodrigo
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A week later Thomas was fully back on his feet, his strength restored almost to its full range. He had come back to the routine yesterday, and he noticed Randall was desperate to do it. The best things about the last free days were Newt. Although Randall didn't let him see Newt during the morning, Doctor Paige arranged so they could meet at night, and left the two boys alone until Newt came back to his room by himself.
He wasn't sure about his relationship with Newt, until no long ago he had thought he was his best friend. But there was something about him, something he wasn't sure how to describe. Teresa had never made him feel something like that. Sure, he had liked her in a way, but she was almost like his sister, they've grown up together. Back at the safe haven he had spent nights thinking about his last moments with her, their kiss. It was a really emotional moment, he thought he had lost Newt and tried to block that pain by kissing her. It worked for a moment, but then he realized it was stupid, and felt worse than he already was. He somehow felt a traitor to the blond.
"Daydreaming again, Tommy?"
Someone snapped fingers in front of his eyes, stopping his trance. Thomas blinked his eyes rapidly and turner to his right to find Newt sitting legs crossed on the floor of his bedroom. They were hanging out like every night, sitting with their backs resting against his bed, eating snacks Newt could collect from a cafeteria since he was allowed with Paige.
"Sorry, I-I just zoned out." He spoke firmly to hide any trace of lie from his tone. "What were you saying?"
"It's okay. I was just telling you I found something. Well, actually Ava took me there, but I'll take you to see it one of this days. It's amazing" Newt had this bright smile on his face, speaking with so much passion. Thomas loved to see it.
"Really? I don't know, Newt. Someone could see us"
Newt's expression turned into a frown almost immediately. Thomas hated that. He hated being the reason Newt was sad or disappointed. Because he was the cause. He and his stupid fucked up mind. He hated himself.
He shook those thoughts away, involuntary shaking his head as well, and forced a smile on his lips. It didn't quite reach his eyes but it was something.
"We could try, though"
Newt's face showed a smile again and Thomas was satisfied with that. The blond took the last chip from a packet they had between them and wiped his hands on his trousers quickly, then he spoke.
"Hell yes. We can go tomorrow"
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They didn't end up going the next day, because Thomas didn't feel well after a hard day of tests and he was still recovering from his illness from days ago so he was still a little weak. However, they did go three days later.
That's why Thomas was currently putting on a WCKD jacket Newt had given to him for this. He immediately guessed they were going outside, Newt hadn't wanted to tell him the mysterious place, but he knew he gave this to him so he wasn't cold, and WCKD headquarters had a central-heating.
He finished getting dressed and took a look at himself at the mirror. For some reason, he had the need to get ready a little more, and fix his appearance despite eye bags and pale skin. He ruffled his hair a bit, leaving it messy but nice.
Someone knocked at his door and he walked out of the bathroom and opened it just to find Newt standing on the other side, holding his index finger on his lips so he understood they had to keep quiet.
"Come on, follow me" Newt whispered before he began walking always looking at his surrounding alerted.
Thomas followed his pace almost tiptoeing to make the smallest noise. He knew bad things would wait for him if someone found out about this little trip. He didn't want to know.
Newt led him through the hallways. Lights out except for small bulbs to avoid leaving the environment completely dark. The blond was making sure no guards were on sight, stopping on every corner. It was a good thing they didn't have to worry about the cameras. If not they would've had a lot of problems by now.
"How much left?" Thomas asked keeping his voice down. They've been walking for about twenty minutes now and he was getting impatient. They've already passed two staircases and he didn't have a great time on them. He was breathless.
"Shh. Almost there" Newt assured roughly, but slightly amused by Thomas' impatience when the brunet rolled his eyes.
When they reached a small door at the corner of a darker hallway two floors down, Newt took a shiny metal key from the pocket of his trousers, and with slow movements began to unlock the door. Thomas watched from behind, focused intrigued by the big mystery, waiting for him to open it.
Thomas held his breath when the door opened slowly without doing any loud chirring noise, and tried to spy from Newt's shoulder, staying still when Newt threw him a death glare.
"Come on I wanna see" Thomas whined softly, shoulder slumped surrendered.
"You'll see. Just stop whining and wait, big baby" Newt grunted when he finally opened the door completely, and checked left and right for possible WCKD workers. For now Thomas could see only black on the other side and it was frustrating him.
After taking a look, Newt let Thomas pass when he made sure there was no one on the other side. Even though this was a maintenance door and was barely used, as Ava Paige said, he still had to make sure no one would see Tommy.
"What is this place?" Thomas frowned confused, and Newt chuckled playfully.
"Come on, almost there. Follow me"
Thomas continued to follow Newt through a dark and narrow corridor after they closed the door, and on the other end there was another small door similar to the previous one.
"Here it is" Newt muttered when they came to a stop. Despite the lack of light, Thomas could see a brightness in his eyes as he spoke. Excited, really into this adventure. For Thomas, it was everything, and he was glad he accepted to come today, or else he would've lose that.
Newt unlocked the door and they were immediately hit by a cold but soft breeze. Thomas shivered at that, but laughed when he saw Newt startled by it. Newt rolled his eyes bus smiled amused. On the other side there was grass, yes, actual grass. Thomas hadn't seen grass in a long time, and stared speechless at the green and soft surface. The grass continued for about ten meters before it turned into a dark green forest, tress covering the view. It reminded him of the tress at the safe haven, they smelled like nature, hope and life.
"Wow" It was all he could say, as he put a foot outside, wanting to kick off his shoes and feel the grass right away. He stared at his surroundings, then down, and then up. He could see the night sky, adorned by bright white tiny dots, shining far away. He sighed, welcomed by a mental peace no other than Newt could give to him. Then, he took a deep breath, analyzing the different smells, wanting to melt in them 'till forever.
Newt stared from behind, no bothering in suppressing a smile when he watched Thomas opening his arms, greeting nature as if it was sweet oxygen to his lungs. Thomas looked back, and as if it was possible, some color returned to his cheeks. He looked vivid, more alive than he had looked the last days. Their eyes found each other, eating themselves with passionate looks, the silence speaking more than a thousand words.
"That's not all, follow me" Newt said as soon as he could break from the trance, even if he didn't want to interrupt the beautiful moment.
Thomas frowned and opened his mouth for a moment but no words came out. So he began to follow Newt again to the left side surrounding WCKD's huge gray walls. It reminded of the maze, the stone engraved with WCKD's acronym. Eventually, they reached some narrow but extremely long stairs on the walls. The stairs went all the way up the structure. Thomas sighed, but this time it was in annoyance. The stairs inside were something, but this was a whole new level.
"We can stop and rest if you need" Newt offered when he saw Thomas' expression.
Thomas gave him a slight nod and they began to climb up. He was anxious and kind of curious of what he was going to find up there. To be honest he didn't have any memory of climbing to WCKD's roof when he was little, maybe he hadn't yet.
When they finished the first third was when Thomas asked to stop to catch his breath. Small droplets of sweat were starting to stain his forehead. Newt was panting slightly but not as breathless as him. They stopped for five minutes and then they continued.
At this point Thomas looked to his right and saw they were already really high from the grass, and for a moment felt dizzy built swallowed down the sensation. He also spotted lights far away on the other side of the woods and frowned, but couldn't understand what they were.
When they finished the second third, it was Newt who sensed Thomas' distress so he offered to stop which the brunet took it gladly. Then, he took out a bottle of water from a small backpack he was carrying and handed it to him. Thomas swallowed down the soothing liquid and gave it back to Newt who drank too. Then, he frowned and came to a realization.
"Oh my god, Newt. You, okay?" Newt looked at him confused and Thomas spoke again. "Your leg, isn't it hurting?"
Newt's face relaxed and he grinned relieved.
"Don't worry about it. You'll see"
Thomas, however, couldn't erase the confused expression from his face, but followed Newt wordlessly when the blond began to walk again.
After long minutes of walking, they finally reached the roof, and god it was fantastic. There, the breeze was strongest but more soothing. It tickled Thomas' skin funnily, messing his hair even more, and bristling the small hairs on the back of his neck. The stars were more noticeable, he thought that maybe if the raised a hand he could touch them, as if they were really close above them. At his surroundings there were pure WCKD ventilation before the floor ended in a deathly massive fall. But far away the spots of light turned into outdoor lanterns, standing outside small modern settlements. People lived there, actual people lived there. It was a whole community. It had narrow streets, sidewalks, shops, vehicles.
He couldn't believe what was in front of his eyes. Another set of walls surrounding the small community and WCKD's headquarters, keeping them safe from the heat and the cranks. Healthy vegetation grew inside, just like the beach.
"Amazing, right?" Newt stated next to him, both boys standing at a safely distance from the edge. "See? It was worth it"
Definitely, Thomas thought. He was speechless, and for a moment he thought actual tears were about to form in his eyes. Not for the community, he had already experience that in the safe haven, but the feeling of being outside. Of not being under arrest inside these building, facing numerous experiment peer day. He felt free for the first time in so much time. He felt free here with Newt.
"H-how did you find this place?" He stuttered, unable to move his eyes away from the view, totally mesmerized.
"Doctor Paige actually showed it to me" Newt shrugged, while placing a couple of things he was carrying in his bag on the floor.
"So you come here every day? With....... Doctor Paige?" Thomas raised an eyebrow, processing how exactly they could make all this long route.
"Yes. Don't worry. We use the elevator" The blond pointed at one small door on the roof behind them quite far away from the edge. "But we couldn't exactly use it today, obviously. Too much guards, too much risk. So Ava taught me this way"
"Oh... So you've let me the most difficult part" Thomas smirked and Newt hit his shoulder playfully, rolling his eyes.
"Shut up Tommy. Be thankful that you could come here"
"Thank you" Thomas' face relaxed, dropping to the floor with legs crossed next to Newt. He had said it and he meant it. There were tons of things he had to thank the blond for.
"You don't have to thank me, Tommo. Come here"
Newt patted the empty spot closer to himself than where Thomas was sitting currently and Thomas approached doubtless watching as Newt put out a couple of snacks, a bottle of what looked like apple juice, and glasses. All on top of a blanket where they were sitting to avoid touching the cold and dirty floor. It was a peaceful moment, and Thomas wished it could be like this forever.
"What is that with your leg?" Thomas asked softly. He didn't want to push Newt to talk, he knew that was a special topic which Newt didn't like to talk too much. The past was something neither of them pushed the other to tell. It was private, but in this case Newt had offered Thomas to tell back at the stairs. Thomas showed himself confused about the facility the blond had to move.
"My leg is better. Perfect" Newt stretched his leg and rolled up his cargo pants, "See?"
Thomas furrowed his eyes and stared. On Newt's leg there was an approximately 7 inches long scar that run up from his ankle to his knee, all across his calf. It was red and slightly puffy, but it seemed long healed.
"What happened?" Thomas asked curiously, because the last thing they talked about this, that scar wasn't there.
"I just woke up with it. I hadn't noticed until I began to take walks and realized it didn't bother me anymore" Newt shrugged before he covered the scar again, "I asked Ava about it, she said they fixed it here when they brought me, after they did surgery on my chest. The bone didn't heal properly so they broke it and placed it right again so it could be fixed"
"Oh. That's good, right?" Thomas asked sheepishly.
"Um, I don't know. I guess." Newt seemed unsure, as he scratched the back of his head.
"What would've you prefer?"
"I don't think I'm a hundred percent satisfied with it" Newt looked down, "You know, I had learnt how to live with it. The whole limping thing. I took it because it was part of my past, of a dark phase of my life. Now I feel like it was stolen from me, like my memories"
"I understand"
"You do?"
"Yeah, I think. At least I saw it as a reminder of what you've been through. How strong you are. But you don't need to demonstrate you strength with an injury. You are already brave" Thomas showed a little smile. He meant it, it didn't have to take a limp just for him to know how strong Newt was.
"Thanks, Tommy" Newt smiled back, and Tomas resisted the urge to hold his hand, he didn't know why he wanted to do that, he wanted to support Newt with all his being.
He ended grabbing Newt's hand in his, stroking softly his knuckles softly with his index fingertip, leaving a trace of invisible mellowness on Newt's silky skin. He grinned when he noticed Newt relax at the touch, sighing and admiring the view with him. Even though there was no people outside that distant community, they appreciated the peace the large woods brought to them, mixed with the breeze, the stars, and that soft stroke of skin with skin. An irreplaceable present time.
"Do you know what I want?" Newt asked out of nowhere, leaning onto Thomas and resting his head on his chest. His own heartbeat beating against the blond's ear.
"What?" He muttered as he looked down at the perfect person he had on his lap.
"This. This is what I want. I don't care that we are trapped in WCKD. I don't care that the world is crumbling around us, and the human race is extinguishing. That our friends are far away, and they don't know if I'm still alive, or if you are still alive. I don't care about that. I want to stay in this moment forever, freeze the time and stay with you here. I want you, Tommy. You're what's on my head now.
Thomas stared speechless, his own eyes staring at Newt lovingly. He also wanted him. He didn't care about anything else. He wanted this moment, he wanted to keep it on his head until the end of his days. He didn't care about what is going to happen tomorrow.
So he just kept admiring the blond strings that adorned Newt's head. The dark brown eyes like olives in the night, locked on his own amber irises. And then he did what he had wanted to do for a long time.
He pressed his lips to his.
He bowed his head, not caring about the strain it brought to his neck because of the weird position, not caring about anything really. It was a short, tender kiss. It ended as soon as it began. It was shy, sheepish and seemed more like a peck on the lips. But he enjoyed every hundredth of it.
When he pulled away, he didn't dare to open his eyes for a couple of seconds, he didn't have the courage to do it. But when he finally did, he found himself staring at two brown blown pupils, looking back at him with his mouth slightly open, not quite believing what just happened. Thomas understood the expression and immediately lengthened the distance between them, softly moving Newt away from his lap and stood up.
"Shit, sorry. I shouldn't have done that. Shit, Shit, Shit....."
"Tommy-"
"....Shit, you probably don't want that..."
"Thomas"
".... Now I ruined this and you'll look at me differently and-"
Suddenly there was another set of lips pressed again his own and his stupid rambling was stopped. This time it was also a sweet and warm kiss, but it was longer. Thomas loved how their mouths moved in sync, as if dancing a ballet piece, tongues playing damply. The whole world around them stopped, the sound of the cold night disappeared, the lights far away were out of sight. The only thing noticeable were their labored breathing, not enough oxygen entering to their lungs because of the demonstration of love.
They separated when they needed to gasp for air and in that moment Thomas wished he had a better pair of lungs, or an extra lung directly. When he opened his eyes Newt was staring at him, his eyes shined on fire, and he had one hand placed on the back of his head, his fingers stroking his scalp unconsciously.
"I needed to shut your mouth somehow" The blond muttered, looking down with his cheeks radiating a reddish blush.
Thomas smiled and led his own hand to Newt's cheek, his fingers grazing the beginning of his hair, and watched how the blond relaxed on the touch. He was blushing as well, and neither of them were ashamed of showing it. They weren't ashamed of a lot of things anymore.
"I-I thought you didn't want this" Thomas stated warily.
"Don't be an idiot, Tommy." Newt rolled his eyes, "I've always wanted this"