Playlist: You Know I'm No Good - Amy Winehouse
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When I was a kid, I always wanted to be a vet doctor. It is a human trait to love little animals, especially if they're attractive in some way. As I walked on the street I saw a little one, who was badly hurt, my heart was in unbearable pain at that moment. He was either bitten by dogs or was beaten by people. This little happiness was laying on the road, suffering from pain, and no one could help him because they didn't want to waste their time. He was waiting for his torment to end and for God to take his soul home, where there's always warmth, comfort, and no evil. It was at that moment that a very little girl decided to become someone who could help these little helpless animals. I knew my dream would never come true because my parents wanted me to do a useful job and not to spend my whole life in vain. For those past few years, I have lived in the hopes of my dream becoming a happy reality, but it didn't happen.
Never have I imagined myself to be a murderer, even if it was by accident. Those thoughts have never even crossed my mind. But I had to kill them to protect myself and others from such situations. Not all victims can find a way to avoid being raped. Sometimes emotions take over you and you have to swim along with the flow, not knowing if you'll be washed ashore or you'll drown there. Some, after what happened can never come back to the life they had before, and they are forced to live in fear that it might happen again. They fear that things could happen again and they couldn't prevent it. I wanted a quiet life, a beloved work, and a husband with whom we would make a big, loving, happy family.
Now my fate is in the hands of a complete stranger. One phone call and my life would turn into a living hell.
We stepped out from the restroom and went down a long corridor, catching odd, even astonished looks of people on our way. The deity hasn't said a word to me since, just dragged me somewhere, holding my hand and typing something in his phone. His hand was very cold like he was holding it in icy water, but it didn't stop my hand from burning with his touch. My palm became wet and it made me uncomfortable. Only from time to time he'd squeeze my palm, as I realized trying not to let me go into a trance. We're completely engulfed in silence, but never in my life, the silence was so loud.
As we entered the main hall of the club, and the loud music stunned me, making me forget about everything that was on my mind. We went up to the second floor, the guard nodded quickly to my companion and let us into the VIP zone. Without asking any questions, I turned my head and saw that from here we had a view of the dance floor and the bar.
Who the hell is this man?
Finally, we got to the table and sat down, my legs a bit wobbly, and I almost fell on the couch rather than sat on it. A wave of relief sweeps over me when I realize that my companion didn't notice that. The fabric of the couch is very soft and pleasant. The design is very varied and is created by a person with an excessive taste. The curtains that separate the tables are also red but the edges are sewed with gold threads.
He looks pretty relaxed for a man who just saw a dead body. For a while, we just sat there, he was texting someone and I was waiting for one of us to say something. At the same time, a sense of volatility and unpredictability remained, leaving me alone with nothing but my thoughts.
A very familiar song came up "You Know I'm No Good" by Amy Winehouse. It made me think even more. When you murder someone, the ghost of this person is stuck with you, hunting your soul for the rest of your life. Now my bodycount has increased. And I can't run away from the truth. Running won't help, it'll hunt me down. However, if I could get through the moment I first took a man, nothing could stop me from doing it again.
"I told you I was trouble"
"You know that I'm no good"
Those are the lyrics my brain wanted to hear.
Good, perfect.
"This is some kind of a prediction, right?'' He grinned, looking into my eyes with his eyebrows up.
It's a good idea to joke about murder. Definitely makes it less tragic.
No.
God...if you're out there, please help me not to kill this man.
''Don't even think about joking about it now.'' I snapped and rolled my eyes at him.
''You're definitely not in a good mood today,'' He said, his voice expresses everything but fear, ''Murder wasn't on my today's agenda.'' Having blocked his phone, he adjusted his jacket.
''It's not on anyone's.'' I shrugged, hiding my trembling voice.
I don't want to show that I'm scared that he has power over me.
''No, it's on mine, just not until next week.'' He chewed on the inside of his cheek.
Did he really just say that he wanted to kill him? How can you say that so calmly?
Question: How was he planning to kill him and why?
Right now, someone needs to come out of the corner and say "congratulations it was a prank" or this man has to say it was part of some prank he was playing, that the gun was fake and that dick is alive.
''Was that your first kill?'' My eyes widened as he said that.
I felt trapped and so I panicked. My eyes started running on his face, while my brain was trying to come up with an answer to his weird question. He can't know who I am or what was in my life unless he can read minds, that I don't really believe in. I can come up with a lie and he'll believe me. No one can prove otherwise.
''Yeah, it was.'' I run my hand over my face, my chest rising and falling.
''Cody.'' I can barely hear his whisper.
''Sorry, uh-'' His gentle voice interrupted me.
''My name is Cody.'' He calmly said.
He barely gave me the chance to process his words when he spoke again.
''Don't you remember me?'' He swallowed harshly, grinding his teeth together.
Can somebody explain to me what he is talking about!? He's probably drunk or high, so there is no point in figuring that out. Although he's not behaving like a drug addict at all.
It's better to pretend I don't understand him.
''Do I have to?'' I ask, glancing over at him, showing my confusion.
With his eyes closed, he lowered his head, smiled, and shook his head, without answering my question.
I pressed my whole body to the couch, trying to control my breathing. I'm strong enough to get through this, nothing can break me. I can't believe that out of all places on the Earth I had to be in this club today.
I'm terrified.
''Look at me.'' Cody's voice made me open my eyes. He leaned closer and pressed his leg to mine. Only then I realized that they were shaking nonstop all this time.
''We will face this together, alright?'' Most likely he said it to himself.
Strong pain in my chest made me take in air with my mouth. My brain is running away from me.
I'm in the middle of the ocean in a little boat, first I try to row to the shore, still having the hope of salvation, but far away I see a huge wave. Regardless I'm trying to save myself, trying to find some way to escape. No storm can last forever. But the wave is hitting me, taking all my air away. It is dragging me down, it's dark, cold in here and I can't breathe.
Cody takes my hand and puts it on his chest.
''Hear my heartbeat? Just focus on it.'' Cody breathed.
A seldom heartbeat echoes joined with our hard breathing. It beats in rhythm with mine, creating a tune that should scare everyone but us.
''Take a deep breath.'' When he says it, he looks me in the eyes and takes a breath with me.
As I look at him I have to believe there is more in his eyes... than my own reflection staring back at me. He just has this look of complete worry on his face.
Water begins to collect at the bottom lid of my eyes. I'm not going to cry, no!
''Good, now breathe out.'' His wheezy voice echoed in my head.
The warm touch of his hand on my cheek made my whole body shudder. Trying not to spook me, with his fingers, he wiped out the tears that flowed down my cheeks.
I closed my eyes and realized that the waves had washed me up on the beach. I'm wet, scared but I'm alive.
''You knew that man, didn't you?'' I finally managed, my head is spinning.
He just nodded, showing that I was right.
Am I bringing people like me into my life? When I took a wrong turn and made it all worse? I'm about to have a mental breakdown. I can't do this anymore, I'm leaving. I don't give a damn about the consequences. I'm not ashamed to say that I could get waisted about now, just to forget it all and then fall asleep. As soon as I want to get up and leave, Cody grabs my hand, showing that he's not finished with me yet.
Fuck, fuck, fuck!
''Stay.''
I pull my knees together and notice a waitress puts the glasses on the table. I looked at Cody and snorted.
''He's my business partner, but lately, he's been starting to get on my nerves,'' his lips pressed into a thin line, ''Death must be earned and he earned it.'' There was no regret in his voice, only the seriousness of his intention.
Up until this moment, I've had an emotional rage, but not now.
The void filling my soul.
His hands were supposed to be stained with blood, not mine.
"You are not my favorite person today..." I emphasized on the word "not"
''Can't say that about you, you did me a favor, princess.'' He chuckled, there was a hint of amusement in his devilish eyes when he glanced at me.
Even after he confirmed his intent to kill him, the whole thing didn't push me away from him. It's not him I'm afraid of, it's my feeling, that trying to break out. Getting close to this man is the last thing I want.
''How do you cover up a murder?" His jaw clenched when I said it.
''I'm not doing that.'' He looked away when his phone vibrated.
"You're not just trying to be funny now, are you?" I was really concerned about his that.
''People need to find out about this, but no one could find the culprit, trust me.'' With his confidence, he was trying to calm me down.
What kind of sick games are you playing with me? Can I trust a stranger who knows more about me than anyone? He can manipulate or blackmail me very easily, making me do whatever he wants. I'm going to play along, but he's going to regret messing up with me.
''You are no-'' He looked at me and it was enough to shut me up.
Is he going to keep interrupting me?
''My friends are on their way, stay calm and don't say anything about what happened.'' He said as he leaned in, ''Just pretend to be my date.'' I sucked in a deep breath when I felt him pull me closer to him.
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Even Fallon can't understand what is going on in here, huh :)
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