**
It was a gloomy afternoon when the door of Taehyung's house opened wide. Jeongguk looked pale, eyes teary, hands jittering by his side. It was evident that he needed something- someone.
Except, it wasn't Taehyung who opened the door, it was Veronica.
Jeongguk's breath hitched. Veronica looked at him. Jeongguk let his shoulders drop, sucking in a sharp breath. "I-I didn't know where else to go."
Veronica opened the door wider, let him come inside because it was already drizzling and the rain might get worse. Jeongguk stepped inside, feeling like an intruder in her house.
Before Jeongguk could speak, Veronica did. "Rosie found out, didn't she?" Veronica said, and Jeongguk looked at her.
He nodded and then felt a tear go down his face. "I feel guilty. Of- of course, I do. I w-was forced into marriage, but she never did anything horrible. No, Rosie was always so kind, forgiving." Jeongguk gulped. "I didn't expect her to react so discourteously."
"You've been cheating on her for months, did you expect her to laugh?" Veronica said in disbelief.
Jeongguk inched away from her. "No. I expected her to be rather angered with me. But-but she wasn't angered about Taehyung. She was more angered that I'm gay, and-"
"Why, how stupid of her. Her husband fancies her best friend's husband and wants his cock. How dare she react negatively?" Veronica gasped sarcastically.
Jeongguk looked at her, wavering. "I see you're not quite pleased with me, are you?"
Veronica looked away. "What else did she say to you?"
"She said I should be put into a mental facility, that- that I should've just-" Jeongguk toyed with his fingers. "Killed myself. That'd be less bad."
Veronica stilled at that. "Rosie said that? That doesn't sound like her at all,"
"Exactly." Jeongguk breathed out. "She s-slapped me, and-" Jeongguk paused for a second, remembering Veronica's previous nature. "-and said I should go to the hospital. That I was sick in the head. A-and-" Jeongguk felt a tear go down his cheek. "I'm not." He squeaked.
"Sit down," Veronica said after a bit of silence, in a hushed tone. "I'll make you some tea."
Jeongguk sat down on the couch of their living room, his fingers still jittering. He felt unable to think properly, Rosie's words going over and over in his mind. Sick in the head. Jeongguk wasn't. He was so aware of how he felt, what his heart wanted, what his mind wanted. He was so aware of who he was. In fact, the realization of his sexuality made him feel the most normal he'd felt in his whole life.
Veronica returned with a cup of tea. She sat down beside him. "I'll talk to Rosie."
"Thank you," Jeongguk whispered, and grabbed the cup of milk tea in the white cup with a gold handle. "Honestly, I'm a little surprised at how understanding you're being,"
Veronica chuckled. "I feel like," Veronica began, and then took a deep breath. "After years, I've finally found some sort of stability. I ran away from everything I knew at a very young age and got married to Taehyung. We didn't know anything, let alone how to love each other properly. We just knew we were in love, and- and that seemed enough."
"It wasn't?" Jeongguk asked, and Veronica snickered. "No. It wasn't. We were foolish, thought we could outdo the world around us. Thought our marriage was an act of rebellion against arbitrary authority. When really, it was just recklessness."
"But now," Veronica continued. "Now I refuse to speak to my father, I lost my mother, I-I lost a part of my husband because of my own liability. I have-I have a child and, it makes me realize I have someone. I have myself, and now my baby." Veronica smiled, it reaching her eyes before it did her lips.
Jeongguk smiled a little. "Do you want a boy or a girl?"
"Wouldn't a girl be lovely," Veronica said, still smiling. "I'd raise her to be strong, independent, cautious of the world around her but calculative. But I wouldn't mind a son either. Raise him to be the most perfect gentleman, unlike many I know."
"Taehyung wants a girl as well," Jeongguk nodded. "I would like having children, but... I doubt I can."
Veronica looked at him questioningly, and Jeongguk chuckled. "I-I reckon I'll be filing for a divorce with Rosie now."
"A divorce at such a young age. Oh my, her life's headed to the ruins." Veronica said. This time it was Jeongguk's turn to be confused. Veronica looked at him.
"She's a woman, Jeongguk. Unmarried women, divorced women, women who aren't perfect wives and aren't the ideal of society- they're frowned upon. I doubt Rosie will get a job anywhere. Maybe she could continue as a nurse."
Jeongguk looked tethered. "I don't intend on making life so difficult for Rosie. But being with her won't make things favorable either. We'll be better off alone. She never really loved me, she just loved the idea of who I was."
"A strong man. Don't we all want a strong man to take care of us and only gift us with sex and money?" Veronica said dryly, sarcastic.
"I wouldn't mind," Jeongguk said, then taking a sip of his tea. Veronica chuckled at his statement.
"You know, I sometimes wished I were a man," Veronica said, and then bit her lip. "There's nothing wrong with being a woman, I love myself how I am. Yet... men get to do things I don't. And I know I wouldn't get reprimanded for some of the things I enjoy if I were of the opposite sex."
"I know exactly how you feel," Jeongguk said, eyes glittering and wide. He didn't think anyone else would understand this feeling, but Veronica had put it into words in front of him.
"We're quite similar in that way, you and I," Veronica said, looking away. Jeongguk hummed, seeing her dark jet black hair tied up, wearing a maroon shirt and a long black skirt, no makeup on yet looking pristine. She was beautiful, there was no denying. Her posture was impeccable, much like everything about her.
They both heard the door of the house open. Some footsteps. Taehyung turned swiftly into the living room. "Whose shoes are in the front- oh."
Taehyung's eyes widened upon seeing Jeongguk and Veronica, sitting on the same couch, civil, Jeongguk drinking tea. Nothing made sense. "Oh. Jeongguk- you-you're here."
"Yes. Um. I had a problem back home," Jeongguk said in a small voice, not looking at the man. Felt it disrespectful to do so when Veronica was right beside him. He was the mistress, after all.
"You two boys have a chat." Veronica stood up. "I'll go speak with Rosie," Veronica said, and then walked to the opening of the living room where Taehyung was stood. "A chat, nothing else," Veronica whispered to Taehyung.
Veronica left the house, the closing of the door creating a louder silence in the house. Taehyung was stood there for a few seconds. Jeongguk looked back at him.
"I had nowhere else to g-go. I need- I need to be away from Rosie for a little while. I can't-" Jeongguk began weakly, and as he spoke, Taehyung walked closer to the boy. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for coming here, but-but-"
Taehyung sat down by him. There was some tension between them. As if both wanted to leap into each other's arms but couldn't. "What happened?"
Jeongguk explained it, how Rosie reacted, that he told her, that he shouldn't have, but he couldn't help it. After his story was done, Taehyung chuckled.
"You've been rather abrasive and confident lately, haven't you?" Taehyung asked.
"Learned it from someone I knew," Jeongguk replied, a small smile on his face.
There was a bit of silence. "So. Yoongi?" Taehyung asked hesitantly, and Jeongguk giggled.
"No. I mean, he-he's like a mentor to me. Guiding me through life or what not. It wasn't going to mean anything. We were just going to have sex. Which..." Jeongguk trailed. "I've never really done before. I reckon I would've gotten attached. So- so it's good that nothing happened between us."
Taehyung chuckled, and the sound surprised Jeongguk, made him turn his head. "Ah. You're reminding me of me."
"What? Passionate?" Jeongguk asked.
"No. Reckless," Taehyung said and didn't wait to see Jeongguk's face drop. Taehyung got up to walk over to where the liquor was kept in a shelf, along with a glass.
"I'm not being reckless. I know- I know I did a stupid thing by trying to suck Yoongi's cock in the alleyway. I know I should be more aware of these things. But I'm not making mistakes. I'm just learning." Jeongguk said.
"You'll grow out of it," Taehyung said while pouring whiskey into a glass.
"Grow out of what?"
"This thing," Taehyung said, turning to him. "You know, if you want my advice, then here's what I'd suggest. Don't get a divorce with Rosie. Stay married to her. Just-just stop all these senseless homosexuality findings you've been indulging yourself in. Focus on law school. You'll become an attorney in a few years and look back to your past and laugh, really."
Jeongguk was frozen still. "Pardon? Are you basically saying I should give up and live life like every other man there is?"
"There's a reason why every man is every man there is," Taehyung said, convoluted. "Society doesn't like change. It doesn't like rebellion. And, you know, you might be unhappy now, but in the long term-"
"Don't think of the long term, Taehyung. Think of now. Are you happy? Are you really happy?" Jeongguk said, walking towards him. "If 20 years later I have every luxury in life, I still won't be happy. So what's going to be your advice for me then, hm? Fall into drinking? Smoking? Sleeping with other women? Sounds familiar, doesn't it?"
Taehyung looked at him unfalteringly, as if trying his hardest not to show a reaction. Taehyung took a sip of his whiskey. "Life isn't meant to be sunshine."
"Well, we can try, can't we? Isn't that why our fathers fought the wars? To give us the chance to live?" Jeongguk asked.
Taehyung looked away, not daring to look at Jeongguk. He took another slow sip of his drink. Jeongguk shook his head. "You'll regret letting me go."
"I already do," Taehyung whispered faintly, and Jeongguk snapped his head towards him, eyes wider. "I did from the second I let you go."
"W-what?" Jeongguk asked, and Taehyung looked at him.
"Jeongguk," Taehyung said, keeping the glass down. "Do you think it's been simple for me? Letting go the only-only person who's really tried to understand me, tried to love me? Who, with every second I spent, made me nothing but utterly happy?" Taehyung continued.
"Taehyung," Jeongguk said, closing his eyes. "Don't lie to me."
"I wish," Taehyung gripped his forearm, pulling him closer. "I wish I were lying to you. I wish we never met. I wish you didn't show me how much happier I could be than what I was. I wish you didn't make me ache to hold you each night."
"Don't say all this. Don't." Jeongguk whispered, voice breaking. "I-if you mean it then- then come to me. Come back to me, Taehyung. We can work it out. We always can." Jeongguk squeaked.
Taehyung shook his head. "We can't. We can't. I can't just-" Taehyung let Jeongguk's hand go. "Being a good father to me is more important than chasing after graceless love," Taehyung breathed out.
Jeongguk closed his eyes. He nodded, unable to look at Taehyung, knowing that Taehyung was giving Jeongguk up for his future child. How good that made him and how angry that made Jeongguk. Jeongguk turned around to sit back down on the couch, trying not to cry.
Taehyung sat beside him. "I'm sorry."
"It's okay." Jeongguk squeaked. "I-I n-never had a father. I know you'll make an amazing one." Jeongguk sniffled.
Taehyung put his arm around Jeongguk and pulled him into a hug. Jeongguk lay his head against Taehyung's chest, letting tears roll down his face. They stayed like that for some while until Jeongguk's tears ceased and they sat there, hearing each other's heartbeats, quiet.
Veronica came back. "Rosie's gone mental."
"Veronica, you can't say such a thing," Taehyung said, and Jeongguk looked at her in confusion.
"She has! She's saying Taehyung shouldn't have gotten Jeongguk out of jail. Rosie's the most gentle and lovely girl I know yet she's acting most certainly mindless. I understand that she's angered, but some of the things she said... I can't even say them out loud. They're too horrid, even for me!" Veronica spluttered.
"I don't want to go back to the house. I'm scared of her." Jeongguk admitted, and Taehyung snickered at him.
"Scared of a girl?" Taehyung joked, but there was a dead silence. Taehyung cleared his throat, looking between Veronica and Jeongguk. "I-I didn't mean it like that-"
"Moving along. I'm sure there's a-a motel nearby. Perhaps one closer to school. I'll get my things. I'll call Jimin, in fact, he'll-" Jeongguk began, getting up.
"Nonsense. Stay here." Taehyung said, smiling a little. "We have a spare room. You can be comfortable. Your work's near to mine."
Jeongguk gulped and looked at Veronica. She looked at Taehyung, who was looking up at Jeongguk with a hopeful look on his face. Veronica tsked. "You can stay for a day or two," Veronica said, sighing.
"Thank you. Thank you ever so much." Jeongguk said.
"Well, it's no problem, really. You've already slept on my bed, so." Veronica smiled. Jeongguk's smile faltered, and Taehyung coughed at the uneasiness.
"I'm going to go get freshen up," Taehyung mumbled, and then walked away. Jeongguk silently begged for him to stay by widening his eyes at him, but Taehyung didn't get a hint and left, leaving the two alone.
"By the way, did you say Jimin?" Veronica asked, raising her eyebrow. Jeongguk nodded. "Is he your age? Rather pretty? Plump lips, black hair? High voice? Small hands?"
"That's him. Why, do you know him?" Jeongguk asked, and Veronica went silent for a second, and then chuckled.
"Yeah. I do." Veronica hummed and then turned around to walk into the kitchen. Jeongguk nodded, unaware for a few seconds, but then the realization hit him why Veronica would know Jimin and oh god-
For the rest of the day, the house was palpable with tension. Jeongguk sat in the study, doing some work for law school. He was sure he was making Veronica avidly uncomfortable. Why would she want the man that slept with her husband staying in the same house as her?
"What're you working on?" Taehyung asked, and Jeongguk's body twitched at Taehyung's fingers falling lightly on his shoulder. Jeongguk turned his head, saw Taehyung standing there with a glass of whiskey in his hand.
"Just some homework for Contracts I need to give in two days," Jeongguk said softly. Taehyung leaned in a bit to look at his work.
"I always resented that class. I always scored highest in presentations or class debates. As you can probably guess," Taehyung winked at Jeongguk, who giggled.
"Of course. You're so intimidating, I'm sure you were so back then."
"Ah, no, built it up over the years. Confidence is key to being a lawyer. You show a little bit of fear, and that's the first thing the other side will attack." Taehyung said. Jeongguk nodded.
Jeongguk watched as Taehyung took a sip of his whiskey. "Aren't you drinking too much, Taehyung?" Jeongguk asked, eyes wide in worry.
"Don't worry, pretty. I always drink a little after work." Taehyung said, and Jeongguk blushed at the nickname that slipped out of his mouth.
"You shouldn't do it every day. Maybe try and lessen i-it," Jeongguk stammered when he noticed how close Taehyung was, and how he was smiling fondly.
"You're so caring, Ggukie," Taehyung said, words hushed. "Never fail to amaze me with you... amazing you are. Like an angel."
"Angel," Jeongguk said, biting onto his lip, looking up, blinking his long lashes. "I swear, your words are always so effortlessly charming. Yet you're unaware of it."
"Who said I'm unaware of it? I know the intention behind my words and how it affects people. Especially you. You're blushing, look at you." Taehyung smiled, eased.
"Taehyung," Jeongguk said hesitantly when Taehyung's lips breathed faintly over his own. "Taehyung,"
"Stop me, I won't be able to stop myself," Taehyung admitted quietly, one hand on the back of Jeongguk's neck, tilting his own to press his lips just against Jeongguk's mouth till-
"Taehyung."
"What?" Taehyung muttered in annoyance, looking at Jeongguk.
"That wasn't me," Jeongguk whispered, and then they both turned and saw Veronica standing at the doorway, an eyebrow risen.
"Oh. Um. Love, we were just working on Jeongguk's work. I was helping." Taehyung said, smiling at her. She knew he was lying. He knew she knew he was lying. Jeongguk knew that Taehyung knew that Veronica knew that he was lying.
"Come. Talk to me outside for a minute." Veronica said, and Jeongguk blushed bright and continued working. Taehyung walked outside.
"Veronica, really, it's not that serious-"
"Have you told him?" Veronica asked. "Have you told him you're in love with him yet?"
They stood by the stairs, away from the study. Taehyung's hole posture fell, a vulnerability he exposed infrequently. "N-no. Not yet." Taehyung said. "I won't."
"I don't know how you want me to react to all this. I can't even talk to my therapist. He'll send you to jail. Good god."
"Veronica, breathe. Don't get stressed out. You know this doesn't matter, love. None of it does. In- in 7 months, we'll have our little baby. Our little Joan." Taehyung said softly, and Veronica looked up at him.
"Like Joan of Arc?" Veronica asked timidly, and Taehyung chuckled.
"Yes. I saw you write it down in your diary." Taehyung said, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear.
"O-oh." She blushed faintly. "Yes. I think that'd be a wonderful name. Don't you?"
"I do. Joan if it's a girl, and Victor if it's a boy." Taehyung kissed her cheek gently. "Don't fret, my love."
"I'll try not to," Veronica mumbled, clearly not as pleased about this situation as Taehyung was.
Later, Jeongguk helped for dinner, saying he'd make it instead to help out. Veronica grudgingly said yes (or, happily, because she wanted to lie down). The three sat down in the dinner table after the meal was cooked, and Veronica and Taehyung very much moaned when they ate the food.
"This is amazing," Veronica said. "You must give me the recipe."
"I told you, Jeongguk's brilliant at cooking. I think it's the glazed potato on top, isn't it? My, I remember the-" Taehyung chuckled midway, looking at Jeongguk. "The time you came over to help make dinner for me. We never ended up eating it, did we? Right, no, right before eating it we decided to have-" Taehyung began, and then froze.
Jeongguk blushed bright red, and Veronica dropped her fork and pinched the bridge of her nose. Taehyung let it go and continued eating food, deciding to stay quiet instead.
After a few minutes with no words being passed, just food being eaten, Taehyung spoke up. "My god. Is that how my hair's been looking all evening?" Taehyung said, looking at his own reflection in his fork.
"Taehyung, you're a delight, but you truly are the most self-absorbed person I've ever met," Jeongguk said, and Taehyung frowned at him, confused.
"I know!" Veronica gasped. "All he does is look at his own reflection every time we pass a mirror, or silverware, or water."
"Right! One time he was looking into my eyes, and I asked what was wrong, and it turned out he was looking at his own reflection in my pupils!" Jeongguk muttered.
"How horribly self-invested you are, Taehyung," Veronica said. Taehyung was in shock.
"Oh come on, stop rallying up against me-" Taehyung began.
"Have you also noticed how he tends to flirt with almost every living person when he's outside?" Veronica said to Jeongguk, who dropped his spoon and nodded hastily.
"Yes! Oh my gosh, it's absolutely horrid. To waitresses, air hostesses, my own friend," Jeongguk named.
"My aunt, my mother, to Rosie. Do you really have to flirt with everyone you come across, Taehyung?" Veronica snapped, and Jeongguk frowned at him as well.
Taehyung quietly ate his food, blushing. Jeongguk giggled at how he looked, almost shy and embarrassed. "Sorry, Taehyung. We're only teasing, you know it's because we care for you."
"Speak for yourself," Veronica said to Jeongguk, scoffing. Jeongguk giggled, and Taehyung tsked at her.
"Now now, let's calm down. Change the topic of discussion to the bedroom, and I'm neither of you would have anything negative to say." Taehyung snickered.
Jeongguk and Veronica were quiet for a very long while. Painfully long. And then, "That is disgusting." Veronica said.
"You're so vulgar," Jeongguk added.
"Talking about sex while we're eating dinner." Veronica shook her head. Jeongguk started laughing when Taehyung scoffed in confusion.
After dinner, Veronica went to go lie down because she felt fatigued. Taehyung and Jeongguk cleaned up the dinner table. Jeongguk walked into the kitchen to keep the plates in the sink and then spotted the polka dotted red frilly apron hung in the side.
Taehyung saw him looking and smirked. "You know, I bought it just for you."
Jeongguk began washing the plates, shaking his head. "I know now how many lies you told me just to get me in bed with you."
"Well, it clearly worked, because you stayed in my bed for a long time after," Taehyung teased, and Jeongguk blushed.
He then felt Taehyung's arms wrap around his waist. "I missed you." A kiss to the nape.
"Taehyung you can't do these sort of things," Jeongguk said. "We're not together. I-It'll just hurt me more, it'll-"
"I know, I just want you to know that I missed you," Taehyung said, placing his chin on Jeongguk's shoulder. "That day, in your firm, when you said those things to me. I-I don't think I've cried so much since ever."
Jeongguk gulped, stopping the washing of the plate for a second. "I'm sorry."
"You only spoke the truth. I'm aware of it now, at least." Taehyung sighed.
Jeongguk finished cleaning up (minimal help from Taehyung) and then Jeongguk felt sleepy, also asked where he could sleep. Taehyung poured himself another glass of whiskey and then nodded.
"Sleep in the guest room," Taehyung said, and Jeongguk noticed him pouring in a bit more whiskey than usual. "I'll lead you to it." Taehyung closed the lid of the whiskey bottle and then walked with Jeongguk to the room beside his and Veronica's.
It was dark, velvet curtains, a queen sized bed with maroon bedsheets. Jeongguk looked at Taehyung sheepishly. "I don't really have clothes to sleep in."
"I'll get you mine. I know you like being in my clothes, don't you?" Taehyung teased, and Jeongguk really couldn't say no to that. Taehyung left to go get clothes, and Jeongguk took the time to look around the room.
Old books, old records, old clothes. All rather dusty. Jeongguk gazed his eyes down them, and then his eyes fell upon a photograph. He picked it up. It was grainy and black and white. A picture of Taehyung, looking less broad and intimidating than he does now. No, his smile was soft and boxy, and his hair was curly. He had his arm around Veronica's waist, Veronica stood beside him. Her hair shorter, smiling really widely like Jeongguk had never seen before.
"Here." Taehyung walked in, holding a shirt. "Couldn't find pajamas."
"I-I can't just wear your shirt, Taehyung," Jeongguk said, flabbergasted.
"Nonsense. Of course, you can. And you will." Taehyung said, and he had his glass in his hand. Jeongguk noticed now that his glass was empty already.
"Will you sleep now as well?" Jeongguk asked, looking at the older man.
"I'll probably be downstairs for a while. Can't really sleep too well these days." Taehyung said, looking away, an uneasiness in his words that Jeongguk would probably scan over if he hadn't known Taehyung so well. Never show fear to the other side, huh?
"Don't drink more," Jeongguk said softly.
Taehyung stood by the doorway and then turned to give him a small smile. "Don't worry about me, Jeongguk. Get some sleep." Taehyung said, and Jeongguk hesitated but nodded nonetheless.
Jeongguk went to sleep in the bed, and Taehyung stayed downstairs for three more hours, listening to old jazz and drinking another glass of whiskey.
**