The clock ticks so slowly on the wall above Steve's head.
Every time I look at it I feel sick, like the entire weight of the world is on my head.
I can hear her screams from down the hall, but they won't let me in, how can they not let me in?
A strange feeling overwhelms me and I look down at my hands, one flesh and one a cool metal.
My hands go to my face and I feel at my features, eyes, nose, mouth.
I look back at Steve, he's talking to a doctor, I can't quite comprehend what's happening.
Why won't they let me see her? Why don't they know she needs me? I need to be with her!
My feet are moving me without allowing my brain to catch up, get to her, just get to her.
She stops screaming, panic.
I push through doors, shove past doctors, I burst into the room and there she is, her hair not a little out of place, her face is fresh, clear of makeup but yet she looks as beautiful as ever, glowing as she cradles a blur of blankets in her arms.
My curiosity pushes me forward.
Just one more step..
Just one more step..
I'm in front of her, my gorgeous Eden, a silver band on one finger of her left hand catches the fluorescent lighting and I feel a smile pull at my face.
My wife.
Eden.
I look at my own left hand, a matching silver band around the metal, I'm hers, just like I always have been, and she is mine.
Her voice brings me out of my thoughts and I look at her smiling face as she extends her arms towards me, "Buck, this is your son."
My arms reach for hers, to take my son into my arms, the blue blanket falls as I touch it and I see his face, he has her eyes, her gorgeous, bright eyes that make a room light up.
I look at Eden and see a tear fall down her face, she's smiling and then she isn't, and her eyes drop to the blanket and she begins to sob.
My own gaze follows hers as my son begins to fade in front of my eyes, his skin turning to dust as I try my best to grab at him.
I'm jolted awake, sweat covering my body, soaking the sheets I'm laying in.
Desperation pulls at my heart, my Eden, my girl.
And.. my son, our son.
It's the first time in a long while that I let myself cry, a super soldier shouldn't cry, but fuck I don't even care.
Sobs overwhelm me until my heart break turns into anger, I'm on my feet and pulling on clothes, a shower is the last thing on my mind as I pull on my shoes and head for the door.
Feet moving fast, brain clouded, I know where I'm headed, and that guys gonna regret it when I get there.
I hate that she's brought this side out of me, the man I thought I had buried long ago.
Wakanda, the trigger words..
But I don't need to be the winter soldier under anyone's command to be angry, to want revenge, there's a fire burning in me, and the only control I'm under is the pain of losing her.
The guy doesn't even see me coming, as I walk in the lobby he's got his back to me and I am light on my feet as I walk over and smack his head against the marble desk, his cry of pain only edges me on.
"Do you remember me?" I grit my teeth and pull him up by his hair, he nods his head.
That's all I need, slamming his face back down and then throwing him to the floor, falling to my knees over him, throwing punches with both arms, he deserves the pain, after all he did to me, he is the reason she's gone.
My vision is clouded, all I see is red, and then I hear her name.
I almost break my neck as I snap up to look at the tv, it's polish but I understand it.
The guy beneath me groans and I can't take my eyes off the screen to look at the damage I've done to his face.
"Despite leaving the avengers in mourning for months, her death was in fact falsified, although we do not have all the details yet, we do, in fact, know that Eden Stark, is alive."
An English womans voice dubs over the polish news reader and my heart drops, hearing it in my own language seems to confirm it to me.
They show a video of Steve, and I see a woman and- Eden.
She looks tiny, weak and fragile, even worse than...
The picture wasn't real? She was alive.
I should've known, how could I not of.
The stupid son of a bitch beneath me moans again and I stand myself up over him, "this is your lucky day."
I'm running faster than I can comprehend, I must look insane to the polish people walking the streets.
I don't care, I need to get home, I need to-
The thought of her fills my head, like water being ran through a tap, only theres no trickling, the images, memories, the sound of her voice, the touch of her skin, the way she says my name, it comes flooding into my head like waves and I'm happy to drown in her.
I pick myself up from where I've fallen to the floor, overwhelmed, my body craving her touch, knowing she's out there...
A commercial flight feels like my worst nightmare, but I have no choice, as I run back to collect my things, I grab my phone and hover my thumb over the home button.
Do I call? Will it help?
Tony's name is clear in black letters on my screen.
No, I need to just get there.
My heart begins pumping faster, almost like it will beat out of my chest, the waiting is the worst part, I just need to get to the airport, do whatever it takes to get to her.
I almost give in and call Tony as I shove my things into a bag.
But talking to Eden on the phone...
No, I need to see her. It won't be enough, to hold her in my arms is what I need, seeing her through a screen now would only be torture.
I look at my room, the decor has significantly changed since I was here with Eden, Steve, Banner...
The couch replaced, bed on the opposite side of the room, I think back to her climbing into bed beside me, her fingers running over the hardware on my arm, she didn't know I noticed what she was doing.
Closing the door behind me I rush to say goodbye to the guy at the front desk, he looks exactly like his mother, and I'm overwhelmed by guilt every time I see his face, knowing it was my fault she was killed.
He nods, saying goodbye as he takes my room key, and it's like maybe he knows, but he's been kind, subtle, he's asked no questions...
Maybe he's scared you'll get him killed too.
As I take a cab, work my way through the airport security, get quizzed on my arm... I'm in auto pilot, not registering what's going on, my mind focused on only Eden.
I just have to get to her.
The plane ride experience's turbulence as we reach New York, a storm has enveloped the entire state and then some, people around me have panic fueled faces as the plane shakes and the lights flicker.
Across the aisle a small boy is wearing an iron man tshirt, and I almost scoff at the ridiculousness of my situation, desperately trying to get home to where this little guys hero has just been reunited with his dead daughter.
I choke back on tears that threaten me again, her body lying in the dirt flashes in my head and I feel sick.
My hands grip my thighs, the wheels of the plane finally touch down on the tarmac and people begin to clap, grateful they've landed safely.
It's as though I can't get off the damn plane fast enough, the entire flight feels like a blur, I'm barely able to comprehend anything now we're back on solid ground, the compound is only a ten minute drive from the airport.
Pulling on my gloves and my hood over my head I get through the airport in a breeze, the storm outside causes the lights to flicker as I head straight out departures, my stomach lurches at even the idea of her not being safe in this weather and in my head I can only think of one thing, I need to get to my girl.
As I manage to grab a cab, the driver both irritates me and distracts me from my thoughts, his questions and comments are nosy and intrusive and I regret telling him where I'm headed.
"Avengers compound huh? What business you got there? They don't just let anyone in."
"I work there."
"Right! What do you do then?"
"Security."
He looks at me in his rear view mirror and raises an eyebrow.
"All them super heroes and they still have security huh?"
He has a point.
"Shame Stark couldn't keep his own daughter safe though."
My body burns from anger, unable to process the thoughts that wash over me.
"Heard she's alive though?! You met her?"
I get butterflies as he pulls up outside the gates and leans down to look at the massive building through his front window.
I grab my bag and throw him twenty dollars, I open the door and my stomach lurches, the guy seems innocent enough but his question about Eden has really fucking bothered me.
"Yeah I have met her, she's my girlfriend."
His head almost spins off his body as he turns to look at me and I climb out of the cab, shutting the door behind me and taking a heavy breath as I look at the building in front of me.
She's in there, only a few yards away.
The storm is hammering down, lightning flashes in forks across the sky with thunder bellowing through the rain.
I hurry to buzz into the gates, the thumb print scanner luckily still working.
My feet move slowly, like each leg weighs a ton, body dragging down like I'm terrified, the thing I want most, the person I love most in the world, she's there, in that building and yet..
It happens in a flash, the sky booms in a large echo and then a sheet of lightning hits behind the building somewhere and every light goes dark.
Daylight is already fading and a few small, dull lights turn on in the building as I pick up my pace, moving from a heavy walk, to feeling a little lighter, a run, sprinting, up to the front door.
I pull on the handle a little too hard, the top half breaks free from the door.
Not sure where to go first, something in my heart tells me she'll be in my room, surely they've not got rid of my stuff yet?
Before I can even head for that direction I see the shadow of someone walking down the corridor towards me, the sky is getting darker by the minute and the dim lights in the building do little to light up the huge compound.
The broad shoulders give away that it isn't her, despite my stomach turning into knots at the thought.
"Barnes?" The echo of Tony's voice reaches me before he does.
"Yeah! It's me."
He turns the corner and I can just see his wide eyes, "what the hell are you doing here?"
It isn't an angry tone, it seems its actually a fairly joyful surprise to him that I'm here.
"Where else would I be?"
Tony looks at me with eyebrows raised, "Romania?"
Confusion overthrows me, but then I know it almost immediately, she isn't here.
"She isn't here." I say and he pulls a face.
"Eden went looking for you."
My heart sinks, shes alive, safe, and the first thing she does is come in search of me.
"Why did you let her go?" I ask quietly, I can't quite believe it, as though all the exhaustion of travel hits me at once, I sit down in one of the soft benches in the lobby of the building.
Head in my hands, I rub over my face when he responds.
"You think anything was going to keep her from looking for you?"
I can't respond, what do I even say to that?
It's as if Tony knows this, because he keeps on talking.
"Steve said he couldn't get in contact with you, Eden insisted you know she was alive. You know what she's like, still as stubborn as she's ever been."
He's rolling his eyes when I look at him and as we exchange a glance, we can't help but laugh to ourselves.
"Sounds about right." I say and take a heavy breath, if he's this relaxed, she must be alright, right?
"Eden.. is she okay?"
Tony looks out at the now black sky, only occasionally lit by a flash of lightning as the storm rages on.
He looks back to me and I see the glint in his eye reflect off one of the lights.
"Yeah." Tony breathes out a relived sigh. "Yeah, she really is."
I feel a little relaxed at his admission, and yet, I need to see her, I need to know myself.
"Mr Stark?" Peter rounds the corner and he beams as he sees me and then laughs a little, "didn't Eden and Steve go look for you?"
"Yeah, apparently so." I half smile at him and he walks over to me and offers me a fist bump, "I'm glad you're back dude."
"Me too." I say and look behind him as Pepper and Morgan join us.
Tony begins to speak to his wife and daughter and then his attention spins to outside, I look where he is and my entire body goes still as I see the jet landing over by the furthest hanger.
I look at Tony and he turns to me, a faint smile on his face and he nods.
One step forward is all I can take, watching as the flashing lights sink lower to the floor until they still and turn off, the lower door of the jet opens and I see the two figures emerge.
Eden isn't even small, and yet she is tiny besides Steve.
I take another step and hear Tony say my name.
Nothing is getting through to me as I hear more fuzzy words, nothing he says has any impact as I think he tells me to wait.
It's not possible, my feet are moving, I'm pushing open the door and running out into the rain, thunder and lightning almost threatening me back inside but not a single thing will stop me from getting to her.
Steve stills just a little in front of her and then turns back around as she freezes in spot and drops her bags to her feet as I run to her.
My entire body drenched, freezing cold, hers looks the same, but I don't care.
I can't bring myself to slow even slightly as I get closer to her, blinking back tears as I'm finally able to clearly see her face, the way she's looking at me, like I'm the only person in the world.
Edens smile brightens her whole face as I get to her, picking her up in my arms, she wraps her legs around me and I bury my face into her neck, even with the smell of the heavy rain, the familiarity of her scent is overwhelming.
Our bodies mould together easily, it feels like she's never been apart from me, there hasn't been a day since I got to hold her, cradle her, let her know I love her.
I can hear Stark, Steve, they're calling her name, my name, but I'm totally intoxicated by her and I can't bring myself to let anyone into this soaking wet bubble of just the pair of us.
Carefully I lower her to the floor, letting her feet touch the ground but holding her to me, not able to think of letting her go. I cradle her body, my hands move to her face, my thumb rubs gently over her cheek, she's so beautiful, even soaking wet, her cheeks flushed red.
I can't tell what is rain and what is tears, but she looks at me in awe and I almost drop to my knees in front of her.
Barely able to comprehend she's stood here, alive, in front of me.
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A/N: I hit 100k reads omg, you guys are amazing!!!! Thank you so much to everyone who reads, votes and especially comments, every one I read means so much to me, you guys have me laughing my head off.
This chapter is obviously very different, being it's written in Buckys perspective, I normally do these other pov's over on Disruption Extra Chapters but I just needed to include this one here, I hope I wrote well enough how Bucky was just in speedy mode, taking in absolutely nothing as he made his way to Eden, all his focus was on her and he didn't even register what he was actually doing.
Anyway, I love y'all! Happy reading!!