Okay okay, this is the last update for the week - at least until next Tuesday. I need to catch up on the updates of my other stories now ahhh I'm so sorry I neglected them for those of you who read my other works. But inspiration for this sorry was just pouring in and it's all I was motivated to write.
Second update of the day and fifth of the week so make sure not to accidentally skip any ❤️
3.4k words
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One week later
(y/n)'s POV
I clicked the ignore call button from Jackson's mom and threw my phone on the coffee table. I brought my legs up and sat criss-crossed while I dived myself back into the carton of ice cream. I glanced up at the screen of my television with tears in my eyes as I shook my head, "There was definitely enough room on that door for both of you." I shoved a spoonful of ice cream into my mouth, "Or you could've at least taken turns." I sniffled with an eye roll as I went for another bite - only to realize I just finished the whole carton.. in one sitting, "Well fuck."
I shamefully got up from the couch and walked into the kitchen to toss the empty carton into the trash. I threw it on top of the candy wrappers and empty bottles of booze.
To say that this has been the worst week of my life, is definitely an understatement. The pain hasn't dulled, I only cope by keeping myself busy with movies, books, or even taking pills to just knock my ass out for a few hours. I did everything I could think of just so I didn't think about him, and how much I hated, yet missed him.
He's in my dreams almost every night, and it's usually the same. We're in a session with him smiling at me from across the table, calling me his sweetheart and telling me how much he regrets leaving me behind.
But then I wake up, and all hope I had in my heart slowly faded away - replaced by a feeling of emptiness, loneliness.
I stayed up late a few nights, hoping he would show up like he did the first night. But he never came, and I never got another rose. I don't even know if it was him who brought it, it could've easily been an employee that he asked to come and check on me.
But why even bother? He left me.
Suddenly feeling the strong urge to drink again, I grabbed my car keys from the hook and went for the front door. I completely ignored the buzzing of my phone, deciding to leave it here instead as I walked out of the door and locked it securely behind me.
I got into my car and drove the distance to the liquor store. They're probably going to think I'm completely insane with how often I've been there this week alone - I've been experimenting with different drinks so I tend to buy a new one every day.
After purchasing a strong Tequila that I have yet to try, I thanked the cashier who gave me a sympathetic smile and proceeded to get back into my car.
I glanced up into my rearview mirror to prepare to reverse, but paused when I noticed the same black car that I've been seeing around for the past week.
I've never seen who was inside since every window is blacked out, even the front windshield. But I had an idea on who it could be. I didn't think it was him, he doesn't do grunt work, but I know he's the one who has someone following me.
And for what?
To make sure I don't talk to the cops or something?
What the hell would I even say? I don't know shit. Other than the fact that he's a heartless ass.
I sighed as I opened the bottle of tequila and took a long gulp, (DONT DRINK AND DRIVE! (y/n) is just not in her right mind at the moment!) I scrunched my face in disgust as I swallowed the burning liquid. I then closed the bottle back up and tossed it on the passengers seat.
I took one last glare at the car before shifting my gear into reverse, and pulling out of the parking space, then I shifted into drive to get out of the lot. And just as I suspected, the black car began driving as well, tailing right behind me. Although they were keeping a short distant - probably to make sure I didn't suspect them. But they're clearly not the greatest at their job.
I kept going and even passed the street that I was supposed to turn to get to my house. I grabbed the bottle again and took a smaller gulp this time as I made a sharp turn - the car took the same turn as me.
I chuckled to myself as I stepped on the acceleration and began to go faster. Feeling the intoxication take affect, and just as I pressed on the gas, the car behind me did as well.
I passed a red light - they passed a red light.
I made a quick left - they made a quick left, almost hitting a pedestrian.
It may seem like I was driving around aimlessly, but I had one destination in mind - luckily I was almost there.
I accelerated more now that I was on a secluded road and there was no risk of hitting a person, a building, or even a tree. There was nothing but the cement road and dirt covered land next to it.
Then I saw it ahead, the wooden bridge that leads across a lake and into the town of Alderaan. I then slammed on my break and caused the tires to screech as I spun the car around so now I was facing the black car - which has now stopped just as abruptly as I did.
I chugged more of the bottle before capping it and taking notice to one fourth of it already gone. I threw it towards the floor and stepped out of my car - leaving it running.
I stumbled walking towards their car, their headlights blinding me, "Get out of the car," I kicked the front bumper; aggressively letting out all my frustration and anger. Tears arrested down my cheeks and I successfully shattered one of the headlights, "You don't get to follow me and run back to your boss to update him on my life. He chose to leave me, so tell him to fuck off!" I slammed my hands down onto the hood.
Finally the door opened and Piett stepped out with a scowl, "You need to calm down," He spoke sternly as he cautiously stepped towards me.
"Calm down?" I chuckled dramatically in my drunken state, "Why are you following me anyway huh? Is he worried I'm going to go to the cops? Or somehow expose any secrets he shared with me? Because I don't know anything the public doesn't already know," My voice cracked as I backed away towards the edge of the bridge, his eyes followed my movements nervously.
"You're drunk," He held his hand out, "Let's m get you off this bridge, it's not safe."
"No," I backed away from his gesture, "Why can't you people just leave me alone? I don't need a constant reminder of that traitor." I continued taking a few steps back. Now Maul had stepped out of the car and he was glancing down at a phone in his hand.
Piett inhaled and exhaled heavily, "Listen-"
I shook my head, and almost fell over from how dizzy the act made me, "Are you awaiting his orders to kill me or something?" I laughed like a crazy person, "You know, because he couldn't do it himself." I shrugged as I purposely took another step back, inching myself closer to the edge, "Why don't I just do it, save you gentlemen the trouble."
"Don't!" Piett shouted as I spun around and looked down the edge at the moving lake below. From this height it would almost be like jumping onto cement.
"Come any closer and I jump." I held one leg over the edge and imagined what death would be like. I've read articles about people who have died and came back to life, they say it was peaceful. That all your pain and troubles fade away, only to be replaced by tranquility.
That sounded tempting.
"(y/n), if you jump - we die too." I could hear his voice the same distance away as it was before - meaning he took my threat seriously and kept his distance. Smart man, I'm not sure what I'm capable of at this point, "We're meant to watch over you, not kill you."
I chuckled as I shook my head, my eyes staying glued on the lake that had the moonlight dancing on top of it, "Why? Why does he even care?" I choked on the lump forming in my throat, "He lied to me, used me, and fucked me like I was nothing but a toy he played with for personal gain."
"I wish I could answer that for you but I don't know, I just do what I'm told." He spoke honestly.
"He just wants you around to make sure I don't slip up somehow, that's the only explanation that makes sense," I spun around to face him, "Because he doesn't fucking care-" I was cut off by the sound of an incredibly loud engine coming from down the road. Headlights illuminated the dark road as a car drove inhumanly fast towards us, before coming to tire screeching halt next to the black car.
This yellow Camaro had the same blacked out windows as the black car, making it impossible to see inside, "I texted him the second she began to drive like an insane person." Maul blurted out before disappearing into the black cars passenger seat and shutting the door.
My heart raced rapidly in my chest when I realized what he meant. My gaze was now stuck on the car as the drivers side door opened.
I felt my heart sink into my stomach, when a now short-haired Anakin in a black coat stepped out of the car - his eyes locking with mine. He glanced to Piett and nudged his head towards the black car, basically telling him to leave.
"She's drunk," Piett mumbled as he walked passed his boss.
Anakin tilted his head towards him, "I'm aware." He sighed, slowly turning his stare back to me.
I was utterly speechless, and it hurt like hell to look into his eyes again. The same eyes that broke me, and made me feel like I was nothing but a worthless pawn. (PICTURE ON TOP)
"Get away from the edge (y/n)." He demanded as he took a step closer to me, and I instinctively took one back - only there wasn't much bridge left and I felt myself nearly begin to fall backwards.
My eyes widened and I squealed in surprise, but Anakin quickly wrapped his arms around me and pulled me forward - away from my near death experience.
He groaned in annoyance and spun me around so It was now his back to the edge instead of mine.
Our bodies were pressed together as he stared down at me, and I could smell his sweet natural scent. Before, it used to give me a sense of peace, but now all I could feel was pain.
"Let go of me." I pushed him off with tears prickling in my eyes. Being in his presence brought nothing but a painful reminder of the way he left me.
He glared at me with annoyance as he gestured to the bridge, "What the fuck is your problem?" He snapped.
My eyes widened in disbelief, "My problem? You fucking abandoned me Anakin and used me." I cried and pushed against his chest, but he hardly moved or gave a reaction, "You knew all of my trauma, about my abuse, and you used it for your benefit. You knew just the right things to say and do to make me trust you, to fall for you." It took hours at night with me staring at a ceiling to put this together, but in the end - it wasn't hard to figure out his master plan, "You played me from the beginning, how could you do that to me?" I punched him in the chest again, only for him to grab my wrist and squeeze it.
His jaw clenched as he remained quiet for a moment, then his lips parted, "It wasn't personal, it was just a plan that could have involved any woman - you just happened to be there." He removed his grip and I pulled my hand away from him.
My jaw dropped, "So it really meant nothing to you? Our shared words of affection, our kisses, our sex, all of it was an act?" I took a step away from him - unsure if I wanted to cry, scream, or punch him again. A small part of me hoped that he cared just a little, that he actually enjoyed being around me. But that hope was slowly dying, "I fucking fell in love with you, you selfish dick." I whimpered.
He scoffed as he shook his head, "Don't say those words to me."
I furrowed my brows, "What words? That you're a selfish dick," I repeated spitefully, "Or that I love you."
His jaw clenched again, "I am not a man who is meant to be loved - I am feared, hated." He stepped closer, his gaze softening the closer his face got to mine, "You're better off without someone like me."
I laughed as tears streamed down my cheeks and gestured to where we were, "I'm better off? I nearly jumped off a damn bridge because of how much I miss you."
Song on top starts here and I highly recommend it❤️
He sighed as he closed his eyes and glanced down to the floor, "I miss you too sweetheart." He whispered low - almost like he meant it for only himself to hear.
I was slightly stunned, unsure of what to make of his words that have contradicted every action he's done up until this point, "Then why did you leave me?" I asked for clarification.
He glanced back up as he pushed his tongue to the inside of his cheek while shaking his head, "You need to go home and forget about me. I'm sorry I hurt you, but know it's for the best." He began to move away from me and towards his car.
"Stop," I grabbed ahold of his wrist and he actually listened, "If you want me to move on, to forget about you. Then look me in the eyes and tell me if I'm right - tell me that it was all an act and that I never truly meant anything to you." This whole time he's been here, he's danced around those questions and never really gave me an answer. But it's all I need to hear, then I'll let him go.. as much as it would pain me.
He hardly moved as his gazed remained on our reflection on the window of his car, "I-"
"I said to look me in the eyes." I interrupted him and he side-eyed me.
He gripped my shoulders - taking me by surprise, and pushed me up against his car with his body pressing into mine, "I can't say that because then it would be a lie," He placed his forehead on mine, his eyes closed as his hands lifted and cupped my face - my heart racing by his actions, "Listen to me (y/n), because this is the last time we're ever going to speak and I need you to understand why I did what I did," His hold on my face tightened and he slowly opened his eyes to look down at me, "I do care and you are far from nothing." He whispered, and I felt my chest tighten in a way that used to back at the asylum when he would whisper his intoxicating words to me, "Which is exactly why you can't come with me. I have wronged a lot of people in this world, people who will do anything to hurt me." He lifted his thumb and rubbed it along my bottom lip as he swallowed his desires down, "You will be first on their list, because-" He paused as he took a deep breath, "I didn't fully realize this until I pointed that gun at you, but if I was to see you without the color in your cheeks, or the life in your eyes - it would kill me. So leaving you behind was the only option because if I take you with me you're dead anyway."
"But, I'm willing to take that risk if it means I get to be with you." I raised my hand and placed it on his cheek, he closed his eyes as he relished in my soft touch, "I love you."
He lowered his face down and pressed his lips to mine softly, only kissing me for one blissful moment, "I know you do sweetheart, but I'm not willing to risk you and I'm so sorry if that makes me selfish," He whispered, and finally let me go as he backed away from me.
"Please don't leave me again," I cried as I begged him not to get into that car. How am I supposed to move on knowing that it actually was real? If anything, it hurts more knowing what I could've had.
He shook his head with a sigh, "Just know that no one will ever have me like you did." He moved me away from the the door and got inside, "Get home safe, and Piett took the alcohol from your car." He closed the door and I could no longer see him.
I stood there with a sorrowful expression as I gazed at my own reflection, knowing he could see me. I wanted to fight, to beg more - but I knew all that would do is make me look desperate and wouldn't benefit me in anyway. Something told me there was no use, that this was it.
His car remained unmoving, probably because he was waiting for me to get into mine. So with a heavy heart and a few stray tears breaking free, I did what he does best - I walked away.
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I wiped the tears from under my eyes and pushed my key into my front door. Soon after I drove away; his car remained on the bridge for a moment, then he eventually left after me. A part of me wanted to believe he was crying for me or something, but I knew better - he was most likely making sure I didn't turn back around on a suicide mission.
I turned the key in the lock, and pushed open the door. I slowly closed it behind me, and threw my keys on a small table instead of placing them on its usual hook. I just wanted to go to bed at this point; I felt dizzy, I felt a headache forming, and I felt nauseous - the alcohol was finally wearing off.
I decided it would be smart to drink water first and take some aspirin before anything so I don't wake up feeling even worse. I was already sick emotionally, so I'd rather not add on to that and be a complete mess in the morning.
I turned the kitchen light on, and grabbed a cup before slowly filling it with water - quietly crying as I did so. I was trying hard to be strong, to not be so weak, but that's the affect that man had on me - he made me weak.
I turned off the water with a sigh and froze when I heard light tapping from behind me. I swallowed nervously now realizing that someone was in my house, and my body filled with dread as I glanced to the kitchen knives that were quite a distance away from me.
I slowly turned to face the person and my eyes widened as I dropped the glass cup - causing it to shatter on the floor.
"Hi honey, I'm home." Jackson stood up from the dining table chair, an angered look in his eyes as he walked towards me.
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Hope you liked it ❤️
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