Back at the manor, Ciel sat in his bed, wrapped in his favorite night shirt, which just so happened to be one of Sebastian's dress shirts. He fiddled with the long sleeves, trying to be covert as he watched Sebastian disrobe. Mismatched eyes wandered over Sebastian's back, noting his strong shoulders and trim waist, stopping to admire his finely muscled ass. The butler slipped on a pair of white undershorts and approached the bed, lying down across it, arms above his head.
"Today was a long day, kitten." Ciel nodded, still looking him over. He could see the demon's strong abs, slim hipbones protruding from the waistband of his shorts, indiscrete bulge of fabric hiding his resting member. Ciel gave a half smile, biting his bottom lip and looking away when he felt himself react to the sight before him.
"What was that about, Sebastian? What was Claude talking about?" Sebastian sighed and rolled over on his side, looking up the bed towards Ciel.
"Kitten..."
"Tell me." Ciel whispered, pulling his knees to his chest, wrapping his arms around them. "You've been keeping secrets..." Sebastian shook his head and crawled up the bed towards Ciel. He sat with his back against the headboard and pulled Ciel into his lap, wrapping his arms around the young Earl, cradling him gently.
"I... was biding my time. I didn't want to upset you." He kissed Ciel's temple gently, untying the eyepatch string and tossed it aside, revealing the amethyst eye that bore his own seal of ownership. "And... then it never seemed like the right time..."
"Why... would it upset me?" Nervous now, Ciel shifted on his lap, running his hand through Sebastian's hair, brushing it behind his ear. Sebastian remained quiet for a while, caressing Ciel gently, stroking his cheek before Ciel spoke, pushing the issue. "What happened to Beatrice?"
"You know what happened. I told you." The demon replied simply, shrugging.
"No, you told me you killed her..."
"And that is what happened to her." Sighing deeply Ciel sat back to look in Sebastian's eyes, a frustrated frown turning his lips.
"Sebastian stop being difficult. Don't make me ask a million ways... what happened to her?" A long moment of silence went on between them before Sebastian spoke, his voice quiet and contemplative.
"She fell in love with me. She wanted me to breach the contract, and I declined. She took matters into her own hands and breached it herself." Sebastian stopped, wrapping his arms around Ciel, resting his chin on the bluenette's head, keeping him close. "She wanted desperately for me to love her. I couldn't. Wouldn't. And... she wasted away. Over the course of a few months. And she died." Ciel listened, resting his fingertips in the curve of Sebastian's collarbone. When the butler remained silent, Ciel whispered.
"You didn't kill her..."
"Yes. I did. She was suffering." Running fingers through Ciel's hair, Sebastian sighed. "I couldn't watch her suffer that way any longer. I don't know how long she would have lived, had I not taken her life." It was Ciel's turn to be silent, fingering Sebastian's collarbone still, chewing at his bottom lip as he contemplated.
"Did... I breach the contract?" Ciel asked softly, a little quiver in his voice, fearful of the reply. The demon sighed softly, smiling.
"No, kitten. You did not... I took care of that for you." The young Earl leaned back, looking at him curiously.
"So... I'm not going to... waste away?" The demon gave a melancholy smile and shook his head, lifting Ciel's chin with his finger and kissing him tenderly.
"No, kitten. You have a rather long life ahead of you." Ciel frowned, placing a hand on his butler's wrist, still not quite understanding the implications.
"Then... what's the problem?" Sebastian laughed, shaking his head and wrapped his arms around Ciel again, holding him tight.
"I breached the contract." He said simply, stroking Ciel's hair, staring off into space as he spoke. "I will pay the price for you." Ciel sat up quickly, pushing away from Sebastian, mismatched eyes staring at him, wide and confused.
"Wait, what? What's that supposed to mean? What's going to happen to you?" Charmed by his concern, Sebastian smiled and shook his head.
"You don't read between the lines, do you?" Sebastian sighed quietly and leaned his head back against the headboard. "The cost of breaching a contract is the same, regardless of who violates it. The price of a soul, either yours, or mine." Garnet eyes flitted open to see Ciel, wide eyed, bottom lip trembling as he pieced together what he was being told. "I'm dying, kitten." The demon said quietly, reaching out a hand to stroke Ciel's cheek as he spoke. The young Lord smacked his hand away, shaking his head.
"No. No, I won't have that... you can't." Sebastian smiled, laughing heartily and Ciel looked hurt. Sapphire and amethyst eyes shone brightly, brimming with tears, and Sebastian shook his head, cupping Ciel's cheek gently again. "No, I won't allow it."
"You cannot command me not to die, kitten, no matter how you may try." Sebastian leaned in, kissing him gently and Ciel returned the kiss, wrapping his arms around Sebastian's shoulders, holding onto him for dear life.
"No. You can't... you said you wouldn't starve to death... you promised... you can find a soul... take Bard. Or Mey-Rin... you can have Alois... whoever you want, just... you can't die... you said you couldn't die..." Tears began to slip down Ciel's cheek and Sebastian sighed, holding him close.
"Shh... don't cry, my little kitten. I've given you a gift." Sebastian pulled Ciel from his chest and looked at him, wiping away tears with his thumb.
"A gift? You're... you're going to leave me... that's not a gift..."
"But it is. I've given you back your life. You can have many happy years when I am gone." The bluenette shook his head emphatically and protested through sobs.
"I don't want you to be gone... where will you go? What about me? Who will take care of me? Who... who will protect me?"
"You've come quite a long way, kitten. You are more capable than you believe. Tanaka will be your personal butler. Bard will feed you; Mey-Rin will take care of the manor. Finny... well, there may be no hope for poor Finnigan. But he does try." Ciel shook his head.
"No. I don't want any of that."
"It doesn't matter what you want. The choice has been made." Ciel slapped Sebastian hard. A little surprised by the outburst, the demon looked down at him, eyebrow raised, and Ciel started to outright bawl, crimson tears slipping down from his amethyst eye as he balled his hands into fists, beating against Sebastian's chest, slapping at him, shoving him back against the headboard, having a full-on tantrum.
"No! You didn't give me a choice! You don't get to choose! You don't get to take that away! You don't get to leave me alone... you promised you wouldn't... you said you would be with me forever... you said... you LIED!" He slapped Sebastian again, all but beating him as he screamed. The tantrum went on and the demon could do little more than watch his heartbroken little Master scream and cry until he tired himself out. Eventually, he dissolved into sobs, burying his face in Sebastian's chest and the demon slipped his hands up the young Lord's back, stroking his skin gently.
"Shhh... please, kitten... hush... I never intended this..." Sebastian cooed to him quietly, kissing his head gently, gathering the little Lord into his arms, holding him delicately. "I did not intend you to love me, and I never imagined..." he dropped his head, a little embarrassed. "I never imagined feeling... anything. This was... just as much a surprise for me as it was for you." Ciel sniffled quietly and Sebastian continued. "I couldn't watch waste away... and I knew what your choice would be... I thought if I could save you from that..." Sebastian shrugged and Ciel sat up, wiping away tears with his fists, frowning as he glared up at Sebastian, still angry at being deceived.
"When? When did you do it? How long ago?"
"The actual moment?" Sebastian smiled at the memory and touched Ciel's cheek. "When I told you 'I love you' the first time... I meant it. And the contract was breached." Ciel sniffled again, pressing his face into Sebastian's hand.
"That was weeks ago..."
"Yes."
"And ever since... you've been dying... because of me." Tears streamed from his eyes again and Sebastian furrowed his brow, feeling the hurt he'd caused, and he dropped his eyes.
"It was meant to be a gift... I have lived long and..."
"I don't understand... you said you couldn't die... how can anything kill you? Even a reaper blade..."
"Kitten..." the demon sighed and looked down at him. "Love... is like a parasite. It starts small, and it burrows within you. Here." He pressed a hand to Ciel's chest, feeling his heartbeat beneath his hand. Ciel placed his own hand over Sebastian's as he spoke. "And it grows with each passing day and night. When you feed it, it grows quickly, and it will devour you entirely." Ciel nodded, remembering briefly the first few butterflies he'd felt, then the swarm of them that overcame him as they grew closer. "And our contract, in much the same way, will devour me, over time." Ciel looked up at him, still sniffling.
"I'm sorry." Ciel said quietly, fresh tears threatening to spill from his eyes. Sebastian smiled and kissed his forehead.
"Shhh, Ciel, please. No apologies for me. You have no reason to apologize to me. I made the choice; I make the sacrifice. And you..." he ran a finger over Ciel's lips. "You have given me something precious." The young Lord looked up at Sebastian curiously and rubbed his eyes, half blind with unshed tears. "Love." He said quietly.
"How long? Before you...... go?" Sebastian shook his head and kissed Ciel's forehead.
"I do not know. But we will make the best of it, yes? And until then, you will have me. And anything you want. I will spoil you to the fullest while I am able." Ciel tried to smile but the smile fell from his lips as quickly as it appeared.
"I love you, Sebastian. I don't want you to go."
"I know, little kitten. I know." Sebastian pulled Ciel down beside him and laid on his back, curling an arm around Ciel's narrow shoulders, still shaking a little as he stifled tears. "I love you, Ciel. I never felt such a thing until now. I understand why humans are so desperate for it." Ciel buried his face in Sebastian's neck, kissing him softly.
"Why didn't you just let me die?" Ciel whispered. "It would have been kinder. I've already lost everyone else in my life... I don't want to lose you too." Sebastian sighed deeply and held him.
"It is a double-edged sword. I cannot cut one of us without wounding the other. But tonight, we should let the matter rest..." Ciel nodded and curled up against his butler, hiding his tear-stained face.
"I'm scared, Sebastian... hold me?" He asked quietly, and Sebastian tightened his arms around his Master, kissing his cheek softly. "Stay while I'm asleep?"
"Of course, kitten. Sleepwell, and I will be here when you wake."