"Don't go," Ford whispered into Lily's ear as she tried to pull away from his embrace.
"I have to," she smiled, letting him pull her back to him. Despite what she said, she didn't want to leave. "I've been late every day this week. I'm running out of excuses. If I don't come up with a good reason as to why I'm late again, then Mr. Davis is going to call my dad."
"I'll give you a good reason."
Ford pulled her into him and gently kissed her on the neck leaving a trail of goosebumps down her skin. He continued kissing her as he made his way to her collarbone. Lily's body began to tingle.
She giggled.
"Somehow I don't think Mr. Davis will think making out in the theater storage room is a valid excuse."
It was the third time they'd met up that week. She told herself she would try to stay clear of him as much as possible until she could talk to Grant, but they couldn't stay away from each other even if they had tried, and Lily had tried, well, sort of. Ford was a hard boy to say no to. She didn't like sneaking around, yet she did at the same time. There was something about it that was just so...hot. Being with Ford felt so taboo, forbidden, and she couldn't get enough. She worried what their relationship would look like in the cold harsh light of day. Would Ford still feel the same about her once she was all his and they were officially a couple, or would they wind up the same as she and Grant, fizzling out. And what about her plans for the future? She wanted to get the hell out of Oakley and Ford didn't. How could that ever work? She was fine with the idea of breaking up with Grant and leaving, but the idea of leaving Ford behind made her heart hurt. She'd never been so confused, yet so happy at the same time. Every minute she spent with him, every time he touched her, felt like euphoria. She couldn't imagine giving up that feeling, but she also couldn't imagine staying in Oakley and being happy. Ford made her question her plan, and she didn't like that. In many ways she felt out of control around him, in good ways and bad.
Lily knew she was getting ahead of herself though. For now, she needed to take it one step at a time, and the next sep was ending things with Grant before she and Ford took things further.
She kissed Ford on the cheek, grabbed her backpack off the floor and headed out of the storage room. She could tell he was sitting there watching her as she walked away. She liked the way he always watched her. His stare was intense, like he wanted her and only her, and it made her heart flutter.
***
Lily didn't meet up with Ford the next two days. She needed to clear her head. All week she'd been avoiding Grant as much as possible, coming up with reasons why they couldn't hang. She wasn't sure if he suspected anything but he seemed pretty preoccupied by football, so she hoped he hadn't noticed that she'd been acting weird, or at least she felt like she was acting weird. She had always felt so comfortable around Grant, almost too comfortable. Sometimes he felt more like a brother than a boyfriend. She wondered if he felt it too.
She avoided Ford's glances here and there in the hallway. Just looking at him made her heart thump so hard she felt like it was going to rip out of her chest. She was worried she wouldn't be able to hide her feelings because she felt like they were written all over her face. One person noticed, of course. Violet had been giving her dirty looks all week at school. On Friday, Ford tried to pass Lily another note in the hall, but she saw Violet glaring at her and she beelined it to class.
***
The Friday night football game rolled around quickly. Lily was prepared to play her role by Grant's side. Outwardly she appeared the dutiful girlfriend, but inside her stomach was turning thinking about what she would have to do to Grant after the game. She still hadn't decided if she was going to break up with him and tell him that she had feelings for Ford or if it was better to just break it off and then make it seem like the relationship with Ford developed after they had split. Either way, she knew what she was going to do was going to hurt him, she just didn't know how much and she didn't know what it would do to Grant and Ford's relationship.
Lily stood near the field socializing with friends. She tried to stay focused on the conversation but it was proving to be nearly impossible.
"Lily," one of the girls said. "Earth to Lily."
"What, uh, oh sorry."
"You've been spacing out all night," the girl responded in irritation as she chomped on a piece of gum.
"Is it because you're nervous for Grant?"
"What?" Lily asked in horror, and her face turned beet red. How did they know?
"Because of the scouts that are watching tonight?" the girl continued, sensing Lily's confusion.
"Oh right," Lily said, releasing the breath she didn't even realize she'd been holding.
"I hear there's several of them here tonight and that Grant's got a chance at a full ride scholarship. You're so lucky Lily. He's going to make it big!"
Lily just nodded and smiled. She didn't know what to say. She was embarrassed to admit she'd been too preoccupied with her own drama that she hadn't paid much attention when Grant had told her about who would be watching tonight. She just knew it was a big deal and that's all that mattered.
"Lily," someone said, touching her arm. She jumped and spun around to see Violet standing next to her. She'd never been so glad to see her nosey little sister.
"Oh hey Violet!" she said in an overly excited tone.
Violet pulled her sister aside.
"Ford just found me," she said.
Lily looked around to see if anyone was listening. Luckily the girls Lily was with had moved on to another topic of conversation and the crowd was large enough that Violet and Lily's conversation was drowned out.
"He wants you to meet him under the bleachers," Violet rolled her eyes and Lily raised an eyebrow to indicate her surprise at her sister helping to facilitate their secret meet up.
"Look, I don't want anything to do with this drama," she began. "But...Ford practically begged me. He seemed pretty concerned or upset. I don't know. I've never seen that side of him before. It actually made me feel bad for him, despite how shady you two are being."
"Thanks Violet," Lily said sincerely, but her sister didn't respond.
"You know you're playing with fire," Violet said, then she left and was lost in the crowd.
Lily made her way towards the bleachers, making sure she wasn't seen. Ford was standing near the back, dressed in his football uniform. He held his helmet in one hand. The sight of him in those tight pants and his muscles bulging out of his jersey, made Lily weak in the knees. Two days without him had felt like an eternity. This is a terrible idea, she thought to herself. There was no way she was going to be able to keep her hands off of him.
"Hey," he said, looking her up and down. His eyes followed her body as she approached and it made her weak in the knees to see in his eyes how much he wanted her. He didn't even have to say a word.
"Hey," she said back, trying to keep a distance, knowing she wouldn't be unable to control herself if she got too close, but the look in his eyes was like a magnet pulling her nearer.
"Why haven't you met up with me the past two days?"
His voice sounded hurt and he ran his free hand through his hair.
"It's just been...a lot," Lily said looking down at the ground, unable to meet his gaze. "I needed to clear my head."
"Why? Are you rethinking things?" He sounded concerned.
She looked up at him and his sad puppy dog eyes cut her like a knife.
"No, no," she said shaking her head. "I just need to get through tonight."
She was starting to get emotional. Even though things had felt over between her and Grant for a long time, she still was nervous about ending it, for a lot of reasons. Grant was all she had ever known. He was comfortable and a good guy. Was she making a mistake?
"C'mere," Ford motioned for her to come closer. Lily looked around to make sure no one was watching, then she went to him. He ran his hand through her hair.
"We'll get through this together," he said. And even though she knew this could all end in disaster, the simplicity of his words made her feel better.
He pulled her face towards his and kissed her gently, but his gentle kiss quickly turned to a more passionate one as the separation of the last few days left them both in desperate need for the other's touch. Lily no longer cared who was watching. She wanted Ford to push her up against the bleachers and do things to her she was too embarrassed to even say aloud.
Just then the band began to play.
"Shit!" Lily said. "I'm supposed to be outside the locker room to wish Grant good luck before the game.
"Come on," Ford said, taking her hand.
"No! Are you crazy?! You go that way. I'll go this way."
She turned to head off towards the locker room but Ford didn't let go of her hand and jerked her back towards him pulling her in for one more kiss. When he released her Lily couldn't help but smile: a goofy, ridiculous school girl kind of smile. Ford's dimples popped which only made her smile more. They walked off in opposite directions, both glancing over their shoulders at one another and smiling to see the other had turned to look.
Lily stood outside the locker room as the players filed in for a pep talk before the game. Grant made eye contact with Lily and let out a huge smile.
"Wish me luck babe!" he shouted, pulling her into him as he placed a peck on her lips.
Lily wasn't expecting it and her eyes were wide open as she watched the other players file in, including Ford who was watching the entire interaction. He stared at Lily making sure she knew he had seen, then he hung his head down and averted his eyes as he passed the two of them and made his way into the locker room. Lily suddenly felt a pang of guilt, as if Ford was the one she was cheating on. This was all too much. She was glad she would be ending things tonight with Grant. She hated to admit it, but maybe it had actually been a good thing that Violet had busted she and Ford. She could finally be free of her guilt and be with Ford in the way she wanted, the way they both wanted.
Lily found her friends sitting about eight bleachers up in the stands. They had saved her a seat, and she suddenly felt guilty for ditching them without any explanation. She quickly scanned the area wondering if she and Ford had been underneath them the whole time but luckily they were seated on the opposite side of the field. Lily spotted the scouts right away. They were sitting exactly where Grant said they would be. Between the scouts and having to break up with her boyfriend later, Lily's nerves were shot. She spent most of the game biting her nails. She couldn't even take sips from the flask that her friends were passing around. Luckily, they chalked her behavior up to the fact that she was nervous for Grant.
At halftime Oakley High was ahead and Grant had been playing fantastic all night, yet Lily still felt on edge. Lily watched as the team jogged back out onto the field. She should have been watching Grant, but she couldn't take her eyes off of Ford as he ran across the field. Grant began to shout out the play and Lily's eyes went to him. He really was an amazing quarterback. She was proud of him and she knew he was going to go on to be incredibly successful playing football in college. He would be okay no matter what happened between the two of them, and for the first time all week, Lily began to relax and feel a sense of relief.
But then something changed. Grant pointed to his head and yelled something that she couldn't make out. He was changing the play at the line of scrimmage which he almost never did. He must have wanted to impress the scouts and show them what he could do.
Lily looked back to Ford, and surprisingly his eyes met hers. He smiled, and Lily couldn't help but smile back. She lifted her hand slightly to wave but then realized people might be watching so she pulled back and hid her hand down at her side. That's when she heard the sound of bodies smashing against one another: the terrible sound of helmets colliding with one another. The crowd let out a collective gasp and then a moan.
Lily's eyes found their way to the source of the commotion. A pile of football players were being peeled off one by one as the doctor on the sideline ran frantically towards the center of the field. Whatever had happened to cause the pile up was bad, and as the players cleared the way for the medical team, Lily looked on in horror as at the center of the pile up, lay Grant, limp and unconscious with his leg bent backward in a way that made Lily want to vomit. Her eyes fell towards the scouts who shook their heads in disappointment. Lily knew that head shake. What a shame, they seemed to say, another player lost to injury.
Lily buried her face in her hands and tried to hold back tears. Violet was right; she was playing with fire, but unfortunately it was Grant who had been burned.