I feel sick. "Amarat was ...killed?"
She was too different. This world was not ready for her ideas.
"But she was so powerful...how could she die like that?"
Onyx shakes his head sadly. It happened in the village square. As she burned, anger and hatred twisted her soul. At the moment of her death she was something unrecognisable. She became the scourge of this planet. She returned over the centuries to inflict pain and suffering upon mankind. Each time I sought her out. Each time I tried to save her. But in the end she always turned to darkness. It was her fate.
I sit up slowly. A coldness has come over me. "Onyx," I say. "Who was the voice that told me to kill Addy?"
That voice is what Amarat became.
The nausea threatens to overwhelm me. Onyx knew all along. He lied to me.
"So that's my fate too?" I demand. "To turn to darkness? You've lied to me from day one. You've never been on my side."
I have always been on your side! Why do you think I taught you magic? If you know how to control your powers you will not hurt anyone. Amarat never lost control.
A harsh laugh escapes me. "No, Amarat never hurt people by accident...she hurt them on purpose. And I'm supposed to connect with her? Be like her?"
It is the only way. You must remember how to control your powers. Adamantine would not be injured if you did.
Addy's face flashes before me. Her eyes move feverishly in their sockets.
"I'll hurt everyone anyway," I whisper. "It's my fate, isn't it?"
Onyx's eyes are ablaze. I will not let it happen. I will not lose you again.
I have to clear my mind. My emotions are all over the place. I can't think like this. Addy's injured and Amarat's evil and I'm doomed...and Onyx has been lying to me. He knew about the voice. He knew about my destiny. I don't care if he thought he was protecting me - I had a right to know.
Sleep is impossible, but I need to calm down before I make any decisions. What Onyx is asking of me is too dangerous. If I let Amarat in as her soul is being corrupted, I could become corrupted too. What if she overpowers me? What if she never leaves?
But Onyx doesn't budge from his position. You pride yourself on being logical, he says. So tell me, Lily...what is your other choice?
He's right. I have no other choice. The more I calm down, the more I see that. I have to see this through.
Maybe I'll be overpowered. Maybe my soul will twist into a poisonous fizz of anger and hatred. Maybe I'll end up like all the other reincarnations Onyx couldn't save.
But if I don't try, I am guaranteed to hurt my friends. I'm guaranteed to cause the very suffering I'm afraid of.
So I have only one choice, and it's not much of a choice.
The bracelet sits cold in my palm.
"Onyx," I say. "I'm ready."