"Father, you must rest now," you said, making your voice light. "Remember the doctor's orders."
Your father laid his head back against his pillow, his eyelids fluttering shut.
"Yes, yes," he said, complying. "Rest is the best choice."
You pulled his blankets up to his shoulders, tucking him in gently as he submitted to sleep. There was a weight in your stomach as your fear for his health and your guilt for using charmspeak intertwined.
I'm sorry... this is the only way I can help you, Father...
When he had fully fallen asleep, you stepped outside his bedroom, shutting the door behind you and putting your face in your hands.
It had been three months since you had come home, your father's health improving slower than the doctors had wanted. There were times he went into fits of rage from his illness, and you had started using your charmspeak to keep him calm and stable.
But it tore you apart to do so. Just knowing you could affect people in such a powerful way was overwhelming. Even though you had broken off your engagement to Seokjin's father, you were left with questions about your future. Could you actually marry for love? You'd forever be a natural charmer, your feelings undoubtedly real, but your husband's always questionable.
You swallowed, wondering if someone could love you truly; if there was someone who could care for you beyond a spell.
Even if it isn't real... I want to feel it.
You understood Jimin's words so well now. Because even if a man couldn't love you without your power, you still wanted to love someone with every fiber of your heart.
A knock came to the front door. You lifted your head, looking towards the staircase in curiosity.
"May I help you?" you heard Lina ask downstairs.
"Yes, I apologize for coming so late in the evening and unannounced," a familiar voice said. "I was wondering if I might speak with the lady of the house."
That formal tone...
Your heart jumped to your throat as you rushed towards the top of the staircase. Jimin stood frozen in the doorway, his eyes meeting yours as he swallowed. You froze as well, unable to say a word; not even his name.
Lina cleared her throat as she took Jimin's coat. "You two can visit in the parlor. I'll make you some tea."
She nodded sharply at you, telling you nonverbally to act presentable and come down. You came down the steps, trying not to show how much you were shaking.
Jimin was still as handsome as the day you had met him. Not a trace of demon in his eyes, pure and mature, every bit a gentleman.
But how did he see you now?
You stepped down from the stairs, meeting him only a few feet apart. He abruptly broke eye contact, opening the door for you to the parlor. You both took a seat on opposite sofas, not able to speak at first. It seemed that neither of you knew how to start the conversation.
Lina brought in the tea and left it on the table between you, closing the door behind her.
Neither of you touched it.
"It's good to see you, Jimin," you finally said.
He laughed, looking at his hands. "Is it? I was worried about what you might say when I came to your door."
He looked at his folded hands.
"And then..." he continued. "I forgot everything I wanted to say once I saw you."
Silence passed again as your face flushed. You leaned forward and poured you both some tea as you collected your thoughts.
"Is Seokjin's training going well?" you asked.
He nodded, taking the tea from your hands. "I've been treated well, considering. No one is afraid of me under this king's command. And thanks to His Majesty, my family is safe and I am in a position of purpose. I can't ask for anything more."
He took a sip of his tea, the cup clinking erratically against the saucer.
"I'm glad to hear that you and your family are well," you replied.
He nodded in gratitude. "And your father?"
"Healing, but not..."
You trailed off, not finishing. Jimin nodded with a heavy sigh.
"If there's anything you need, please allow me to serve you as --" He stopped. " -- as a servant of the king."
He quickly drank more tea, coughing as he swallowed.
"Please, Jimin," you said quietly. "Don't act like my servant. Not when I've spent so much time looking up to you."
He dropped the cup from its saucer, the tea spilling on his clothes.
"Forgive me --" he started.
"No, it's quite alright. Here."
You quickly grabbed a napkin from the tea tray and dabbed his shirt. When the burn marks from his shirt peeked out from between the buttons, you couldn't help but stare. Without thinking, you reached out, touching the burn marks on his abdomen.
"Do they still hurt?" you asked.
He shifted in his seat. "No."
Suddenly realizing, you pulled your hand back.
"Forgive me," you said, stepping back. "I didn't mean to touch you so mindlessly."
He shook his head. "I knew you had no ill intentions."
He paused, staring at you with such an intensity that you couldn't help but look at the ground in front of you.
"But there's something I just don't understand," he finally said.
He lifted his shirt showing more of the burn marks.
"Even with these runes etched into my skin," he said, "drawn to protect me from your spell... you're still the only thing I can think about."
Your hand fluttered to your chest as your heart fluttered with it. He let down his shirt, dropping his head.
"I know I hurt you," he said. "My darkness enslaved me and I lashed out at you for it. But... but I wanted to tell you that with or without magic, you're the one who has captivated me most."
You swallowed down your heartbeat. Jimin laughed nervously, running his fingers through his hair. He then stood to his feet.
"I realize that you're engaged - perhaps by now, even married - and I don't wish to make things any more difficult for you." His hands shook. "I just... had to tell you in person myself. I had to apologize for my actions and wish you the greatest happiness."
"Jimin --"
"So please consider this my formal apology," he said, bowing. "I wish you the greatest happiness, Y/N. I won't forget what you --"
You cut him off, throwing your arms around his neck and holding him tight.
"You fool," you said in his ear. "How can you wish me great happiness when my greatest happiness is you?"
You held his face in your hands and pecked him on the lips. He jumped, taking a step back in surprise.
"Y/N... What are you...?"
"I thought about you every day since I returned," you confessed. "Every time I looked at the swords on my father's bedroom wall, I couldn't help but think of the naval gentleman who always made me feel at home, even when I thought I'd never find home again."
His lips pulled back in a half-smile, but he shook it away. "I hurt you, Y/N --"
You stepped forward, wrapping your arms around his neck again. "That was the past. Do you still want revenge against me?"
His hands came up to your arms as if he was going to break free of you, but his touch was light against your skin.
"Of course not," he replied. "Not when I --"
He stopped. You nudged him.
"What is it?" you asked.
He shook his head. "Nothing."
"Tell me?"
You lifted your voice, smiling when he met your eyes. You both knew it had no effect now. Nevertheless, Jimin seemed to steel his nerves, swallowing before bringing himself close to you to speak.
"I'm in love with you," he said gently. "I'm completely obsessed."
You smiled in return. "Good. Because I love you, too."
A smile burst onto his lips and he pulled you close into an embrace. He leaned down and nuzzled the skin behind your ear, sighing in confusion.
"But why?" he whispered. "After all that I've done?"
You leaned your forehead against his shoulder. "You act as if my hands are clean. I murdered the Guardians in cold blood as a siren. How can I judge you so harshly for sins when I have so many of my own?"
He leaned back, as if realizing for the first time. "Your curse. I had forgotten. Y/N, if you don't become a full siren, then --"
"Then I finish this life and live another. But if I become a siren, it would be quite difficult for us to be together."
His fingers came to your hair, brushing it away from your neck and shoulder.
"As deeply as I feel for you, I don't want to be the reason you are cursed forever," he said. "If you want your wings --"
"I don't," you said firmly. "Not in this life. In this life, I want my family. I want my father, my future children, and you. If I live a thousand more lives with a thousand more families, it won't be so bad. There are worse punishments."
You embraced him tighter.
"Did you just imply that you wanted to have children with me?" he asked with an airy chuckle.
Blood rushed to your cheeks as you pulled back. "That wasn't... I mean..."
He leaned back to look into your eyes, a new mischievous glint in them. You looked away, not knowing what to say. He chuckled once again before gently directing your chin back to face him.
"A family with you," he whispered, "would be the best future I can possibly imagine."
The embarrassment ebbed from your body and you relaxed, getting lost in his sweet and dark eyes. He glanced at your lips, before parting his own.
"Can I kiss you?" he whispered.
You leaned forward. "Every day until the day I leave this body."
He smiled at you before leaning in and capturing your lips in his. Affection flowed from his fingertips as they crawled up your back, pressing you closer against him. This was not possessive and controlling as the kiss in the cavern had been. It was deep and intimate, slow and drowning. Feeling his chest rise and fall with his breath along with each kiss, you melted slowly into his embrace. He was every bit a gentleman, but his true feelings were communicated through his kiss.
His demons may have been gone, but he still wanted you to be completely his.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was five more years before your father passed. Luckily, he was able to meet his first grandchild before his passing.
Seokjin's father paid for all of the funeral arrangements, not allowing you any discomfort. You eventually left your family home and moved into a house close to Jimin's parents, who adored you and Jimin together so much that they healed all the more quickly.
A siren and a Judge were technically frowned upon, however, since you were an incarnate, Jimin and you were allowed to bend the rules. Jimin, being the gentleman that he was, asked both your earthly father and King Namjoon for permission to marry you, and they had both agreed, to Jimin's surprise. He had believed his reputation would seal his future forever. Your fathers, however, knew that the past was simply the past.
Jimin spent time back and forth between the Den of Sirens as a Judge alongside Seokjin, and you stayed at home to care for your - eventual - three children. You were able to go to the Den twice more before your first child, but you couldn't go to the Den with your children born and so young. Although you missed it, you knew that eventually you would return to them. Whether it was in this body or in another, you didn't know., but you knew you wanted to be there for your children and family for as long as you could.
Taehyung visited you all once a week after the children were born, telling them children wild stories before bed. They all became adventurous souls thanks to their Uncle Taehyung, Uncle Jungkook, and their father, and you couldn't have been more proud.
Jimin forbade Jungkook to be alone with you - unsurprisingly - as your charms on him never fully wore off. His visits became far and few between, and you knew it was because he was trying to respect his older brother... no matter what feelings he thought he had. He always blamed his new respectable work in the sea trade for the infrequent visits, but you could tell by his eyes that it was because he never wanted to hurt his brother again.
The skin between your shoulders ached often, but your heart did not. Every moment with Jimin was precious and full of pure joy. To watch him judge good and evil, and give that wisdom to your children, was better than you had anticipated. Perhaps you couldn't judge the world as a siren for now, but you knew that in loving your husband and children that the world was a little purer than it was before.