018. BROKE BEYOND REPAIR
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Although the sudden excitement from the Jawas alerted Evangeline that something was going on, she certainly didn't expect what she saw to come next: The pair of spies she had run into on Jedha entered the cave that passed as the Jawas' encampment.
Although not prime living conditions, the cave did what it needed to do by blocking out the harsh sun while keeping the sandy wind at bay. The Jawas at one point had gathered some of the local flora, as rare as it was, and used the foreign plants to cover the cave entrance. They had also gathered several lanterns to provide light amidst the natural darkness. Even though she was displeased to see the pair, her frown increased when Ben was carried in by a pack of five or six Jawas.
She had been asking about him for the past hour; however, that didn't mean she had looked forward to seeing him again. The resistance spies looked just as surprised to see her as she had been when they first entered.
"Eva?"
"Excuse me?" she raised an eyebrow, incredulous, "What did you call me?"
The spy hesitated before answering, "Eva... that is your name isn't it?"
"Maybe you misheard him," the other spy whispered, "He was babbling after all."
"It's Evangeline," she corrected them as she introduced herself, "I haven't been called Eva in a long time."
"Poe," the first spy spoke up.
She raised an eyebrow remembering that she had threatened him at knife-point earlier. He seemed to remember as well as his hand subconsciously drifted to his throat. She internally hid the smug expression that she wanted to wear.
"And this is Finn," Poe introduced the other spy who had been cautious since the moment he laid eyes on her.
"Uh huh," she nodded her head in avoidance of formal pleasantries.
"Oh," Poe lit up as if he had just remembered something, "And that—"
Evangeline interrupted him before he could continue, "I'm well acquainted with Ben Solo."
They looked at her confused before realization dawned on them and Finn spoke up, "I keep forgetting that his name isn't Kylo Ren."
"A stupid name if you ask me," Evangeline nodded her head, "But I should check on him to make sure the Jawas don't start scavenging... keep an eye on your pockets."
She left the pair of spies with the Jawas and entered the "room", really just a pocket within the cave, that she had seen Ben carried off to. She pushed aside some of the vegetation that acted as a curtain and sat down on a large rock as she waited for him to stir. Several of the Jawas seemed to fuss over a variety of wounds that he had acquired. As she waited, she allowed her thoughts to drift off to a time where she didn't feel the need to worry or feel concerned about her survival. She snapped out of the moment of nostalgia after a small groan broke the recent silence of the area. She looked over at the slab of rock where Ben had been placed and noticed as he lifted a hand to his recently bandaged head. She stood and approached him quietly, but almost withdrew in shock as his hand brushed hers.
"Rey..." the name was barely audible as his voice croaked more than anything.
She frowned, but stepped over to the water basin and filled the nearby ladle with liquid, "drink."
He tried to sit up, and she noticed that he had grown tense since his head bandages also covered his eyes. His dry throat prevented him from protesting, but she understood his intent and gently shoved him back down.
"You need to rest," she stated in a neutral tone, but added almost hesitantly, "You're alright for the time being, but you've got a nasty concussion."
"I know—" he was interrupted as she forced the ladle up to his mouth.
"You're also dehydrated."
Again he tried to resist, but gave up after a minute once he realized that he was too weak to fight against her. He relaxed although the motion somehow seemed forced. After he had drunk enough for her to be satisfied, he slowly lifted a hand toward his head and gently pushed the bandages above his eyes. Even though the cavern was dimly lit, he was still forced to blink in adjustment to the sudden light. Once he noticed her, he appeared to tense.
"Eva."
She nodded her head, "How do you feel?"
"Where am I?"
"The local Jawas have provided shelter," she repeated her question, "How do you feel?"
He didn't answer, but she received one anyway as he tried to sit up. He groaned with what she suspected to be immediate regret as he leaned against the wall to support his back.
"That good, huh?" she asked rhetorically with a small smirk.
He rolled his eyes, but even that motion seemed to pain him.
"You're lucky," she grew stoic, "that they found you when they did."
He remained silent.
"Also," she changed the topic of conversation, "since when did you start working with resistance spies?"
"They're here?" he asked and seemed to perk up, "Where's Rey?"
Evangeline raised an eyebrow, "There were only two... there was no girl."
His expression darkened and he tried to stand. Her eyes widened and she immediately forced him to sit back down.
"Dank Farrik, Ben!" she exclaimed, "You'll tear open your stitches! It was only a temporary fix until we could get you to an actual medical institution."
"I need to speak with the pilot," he ignored her statement and tried again to stand.
"I'll get them," she pushed him back a bit harder this time, "Just don't—"
She immediately gasped in shock as a thousand voices entered her mind at one time. Her eyes widened, but her vision started to blur. That wasn't the worst of it though. It was exceedingly painful. The mixture of voices and thoughts crowding her mind and forcing her out of her own body. She was aware of what was going on around her but she could no longer move or control her actions. It was as if she was seeing the world from the outside rather than as part of it herself. She did the only thing she could clearly think of to try and relieve the pain. She screamed.
She could feel someone's arms wrapped around her, shaking her, trying to break through to her in some way, but she was unable to respond. She could also hear a pair of footsteps entering the room, but she had no idea as to whom they belonged. Soon, even her mind stopped working. She couldn't remember where she was, what she had been doing or even her own name. That was until the chaos surrounding her centered around a word.
Plutarch.
If she focused hard enough on the word, the world almost started to make sense again. Plutarch. Why did the name matter? She concentrated hard on how each letter sounded. P. Parentage. It signified her history and to whom she belonged. L. Lost. She'd had no information for so long and she was afraid that if she lost focus for even a second she would lose her only lead as well. U. Universe. This was her center. It was what mattered to her and kept her alive. It was why she fought so hard to rise above all the trials thrust her way. But now none of that seemed to matter as she felt connected to something greater. Focus. Focus. If she lost sight of it all she would be absorbed. T. Time. She was certainly running out of it. But why? She hadn't been on a time frame before; however, she knew that if she stayed in the described universal presence that she wouldn't be able to stop herself from diving deeper. A. Alderaan. Was that another clue? The planet had been destroyed years ago and she'd had no known connection to the planet. Why had it suddenly come to mind? R. Run. Every inch of her being told her to flee, but she couldn't help but feel drawn to the center. She pushed forward and the pain seemed to lessen. C. Corrine. Another name. How did it fit with everything else that she was starting to learn? H. History. It represented who she was and where she had been. The name was important no doubt but as she was drawn further and further away from her separate identity, the desire to remain separate subsided. The further she went, the lighter she felt and the less pain she felt as well. Stop. But the thought was meant half-heartedly as she desperately wished for the pain to go away.
Evangeline.
It was her name. She didn't know if it was a private thought or if it had been said out loud but it gained her attention. She turned back for an instant. Evangeline Plutarch. It was her name. Would anyone miss her if she didn't turn back? Eva. This time the thought was different. The feeling of a sole identity receded and the pain immediately returned with the chaos.
"Eva!"
She tried to focus but the pain prevented her eyes from focusing. They were too busy trying to hold back her tears. Her throat burned and she only just then realized that it was due to the strain of the blood-curdling scream that unceasingly escaped her mouth. The voices battled for superiority as they rushed around without order.
"Get out of my head!" she screamed.
"Eva?" the voice was so familiar but she couldn't put a face to it.
"Make them stop!" she spoke between grit teeth this time as she clutched her head between her hands.
She tried to drop to the ground but whoever had been holding her prevented her from doing so. Instead, she simply went limp in their arms while writing in pain. The more she fought against the chaos, the more pain she felt. That's when she realized why she had stopped fighting to begin with. She'd been distracted back to reality to face all the pain that she had been repressing for years.
"What is happening to her?"
"Ko lopo."
"What did he say?"
"I don't know?"
She tried to focus on the conversation to distract herself from the pain.
"Hey! Cut it out!"
"Omu'sata!"
She could tell that she was moving, but she was unable to determine where she was going or where she had come from. It was dizzying, but she didn't complain... probably because she was too busy screaming in agony. When the dizziness vanished, she knew she had stopped. It was difficult to focus on the conversation being spoken aloud as the voices in her head competed for attention.
"Ashuna. Ikee kurruzza."
After this was said, the pain gradually subsided. She weakly lifted a hand to her face to rub her eyes and clear her vision. The faint remnants of water streaks that she felt on her face verified that she had been unable to hold in her tears. Her throat burned, but that pain was almost pleasant compared to what she had just experienced. One by one, the voices continued to silence themselves until she was left alone with her own thoughts.
Three individuals hovered above her. Poe. Finn. Ben. Everything was slowly coming back to her as she cautiously let her eyes wander around the cave ceiling. Once she noticed that her breathing was labored, she tried her best to relax.
"Eva?"
She flinched at the sound of Ben's voice. But once she realized that it had been spoken rather than thought in her mind, she tried again to relax. She didn't say anything, but she faced him in acknowledgement.
"What was that?" Ben asked slowly.
She shook her head and he seemed to understand that she didn't want to talk about it. The pilot, on the other hand, did not.
"Are you alright?" Poe looked at her with concern.
"Should we be concerned with what just happened?" Finn added, but his question wasn't necessarily directed at her.
Ben spoke for her, "She absorbed an extreme electrical surge back on The Supremacy."
"That was you guys?" Poe raised an eyebrow.
Evangeline slowly sat up and nodded her head, "Almost sent the dreadnought up in flames too."
Her voice was coarse. A few of the Jawas seemed to understand and moved closer with a ladle filled with water. She accepted the gesture and nodded with great appreciation.
"It's like I wasn't in charge of myself anymore," she whispered, "Like a thousand different people were competing for control."
"What?" Ben asked and she wasn't sure if he simply hadn't heard her or her description hadn't made any sense.
"It wasn't an aftershock," she explained, still speaking quietly, "Something else happened when I touched that power cell."
"What do you mean?"
"I don't know... and I don't think it'll be a one time thing either."
"You mean this could happen again?"
"I think it will happen again."
They looked at one another in grim silence.
"Hello?" Poe spoke up, "Would anybody like to fill us in on what's going on?"
Ben rolled his eyes and sighed with annoyance; however, he was shoved aside by a Jawa with an arm full of crystals. Ben looked down at the small creature with distaste but remained quiet since several other Jawas crowded around her and pushed him further back. Finn and Poe were also moved away, but their protests were quieted by several unintelligible phrases in Jawaese. The Jawa who had carried the crystals into the room held one up to the light of a nearby lantern before offering it to Evangeline. She looked at it hesitantly.
The Jawa insisted as he held it out further to her, "Ikee givwi juwi."
"What are you doing?" Ben asked, trying to press forward despite the Jawas that pushed him back.
"Tomo ko lopo," the Jawa seemed to respond, "Ikee tando."
"I'm sure it's fine, Ben," Evangeline reassured him before taking the crystal in hand.
Suddenly, the Jawas began to chant in unison. Ben looked worried while Finn and Poe simply appeared to be creeped out by the scene in front of them. Evangeline practically dropped the crystal in her hand when it started glowing. Although once translucent, it was now a solid blue hue. However, she did inevitably end up dropping the crystal once the glow spread from the gem to her hand. The glow proceeded to spread to the rest of her body. At first, she had tried to wipe it away; however, she calmed down once she realized that it hadn't hurt her... in fact she could almost say the opposite. That was until the voices returned. The pain was more unbearable than the first time as if the crystal had amplified their power. Through her blurred vision, she noticed a few of the Jawas had jumped back in fright. She assumed that she had once again started to scream and the burn in her throat only confirmed that thought.
Then suddenly, it was all gone. The pain. The voices. The Chaos. All of it gone.
She focused on her breathing to try and regain control. She winced an apology as she looked down to see the crystal shattered into several pieces at her feet.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean—"
She stopped mid-sentence and looked up. Everyone simply stared past her. It was impossible to determine the emotions that each Jawa felt, but human emotion was much easier to notice. Finn's eyes were wide in shock and disbelief. Poe looked utterly confused as his eyebrows were knit together. Ben—Ben looked as if he had seen a ghost. It was at that moment that she noticed the heavy breathing. Actually, wheezing was a better way to describe the sound. It was mechanical and forced rather than relaxed and natural. Evangeline turned around and her face immediately blanched as her expression matched Ben's.
"Well this..." the voice spoke between breaths, "This is unfortunate."
Evangeline suddenly understood why Ben had grown so pale. After all, it's not everyday that one gets to meet their idol.
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• author's notes •
jawaese translation:
- ko lopo : broken
- omu'sata : shut up
- ashuna : go
- ikee kurruzza : i repair
- ikee givwe juwi : i give you
- tomo ko lopo : she broken
- ikee tando : i fix
• fin •