I was still shocked with Aaron's behavior. First he touches and kisses me like there's no tomorrow, says he wants to give our relationship a try. Then he throws me in the lake and starts interacting with my friends. If that wasn't enough, he sat across from me with a smile on his handsome face while eating a burger.
This is not like him. At all.
Don't get me wrong. I don't mind it, in fact I'm happy he's more relaxed. But it scares me a bit. It's like he's suddenly going to snap and be his old distant self. That he's going to decide this marriage isn't worth his time and that we should go back to pretending we love each other. I have to admit we're damned good at it, but its not real.
I want to know the real Aaron. But doubts and fears keep eating me.
Why did he change his mind so suddenly?
There's something more to this and I'm afraid to know what it is.
"What's wrong baby?" Aaron looked at me with concern.
And I gracefully choked on my drink.
"Hey, hey, are you okay?" Elliot looked down at me as I fought to get my breathing under control.
"Yeah, just--never mind." I shook my head. "I'm fine."
I stared curiously at Aaron and continued to eat my hamburger. The place we were eating at was a cabin made especially for eating only, just like a cafeteria but with a whole lot more windows and the doors opened.
This place is breathtaking.
Everything seems so wild and free. It makes me want to be those things. But it'll never matter. I can't change who I am, who I was raised to be. Since I can remember, I've been thought how to walk straight. I've been thought how to eat, how to dress decently, how to talk, how to act, how to look. Heck, they only needed to show me how to have rightful sex and they would have covered everything.
It's needless to say that my life was very controlled. Still is. Sort of.
I still have to be the perfect person, act the perfect way, talk in a very soothing matter and eat like a princess. But being with Aaron has made me rebel to some things. Like the part where I'm not supposed to talk back, the part where I'm supposed to obey oh and the a very important one: complaining. I'm surprised Aaron hasn't taken any measures into punishing me for challenging and talking back and all those things I've done. If my parents knew, god they'll be ashamed of me.
So here I was, watching the man who had been raised as strictly, if not more, as me. The one who was used to fancy things, to people doing as he said, to being served, the unquestionable, the serious business man he is. But that seemed to be somewhere else, because right now he's joking around and acting like a teenager. I mean, he even threw a fry at Greg. The Aaron I know wouldn't even dream of doing something so childish and unnecessary. I wouldn't be thinking anything, or doubting anything, if it didn't look so forced. He was faking the smiles, faking the jokes, pretending to be happy. But I knew him, not as well as I'd like to but enough to know he was forcing himself to be something he's not.
The talk with me seemed genuine. But as I saw him interact with my friends, everything was forced.
It was the same sort of act he put up with when we went to business dinners and reunions as a couple.
But I didn't mention anything. Yet.
"Ugh. It feels like I gained ten pounds." Alice groaned as she slumped in her seat.
"It sure does look like it." Jared commented.
"Hey!" Alice smacked him and they got into a very heated and violent argument.
"Want to go buy marshmallows for the bonfire?" Greg asked Leah, who blushed at the offer.
"Sure."
"See you guys in a beat." Greg grinned and walked away, putting his arm over Leah's shoulder casually.
"The guy is head over heals for her and she doesn't even see it." Elliot shook his head in disappointment.
"What? Greg and Leah? Are you serious?" I asked.
I mean I did noticed the looks he gave her, the way he found ways to be close to her and touch her. But I just passed it off as a crush, not love.
"A hundred percent. I've known Greg for a long time. He hasn't gotten that look in his eyes for any chick, ever. The guy is in love with our Leah and she doesn't have a clue." Elliot chuckled.
"Well, maybe Greg should be a little bit more obvious. Not everyone knows when someone is trying to hit on you. Plus, I don't think Leah would refuse a date. Greg is cute, funny and smart."
I felt a very heated glare from across from me. I didn't dare to look at Aaron.
"You think Greg is cute?" Elliot asked.
"Yeah."
"What do you think of me? Could a girl say yes if I asked her out?" he asked in all seriousness.
Why is he doubting himself?
"Elliot, you're sexy as sin. Now get up and go ask that girl out. Go. Go!" I encouraged and pushed him off his seat.
"Thanks, Regan." he grinned and went off in a run.
The stare from Aaron kept daring me to look at him, but I refused.
"What about me?" Jared smirked.
"Oh you're one cocky excuse of a man." Alice rolled her eyes.
"You are both attractive and dangerous. Same goes for you Alice. So, why don't you go out sometime? Or just jump each other already? I've known you for not even a week and I can feel the sexual tension from a mile away." It was my turn to roll my eyes and got up.
"You coming, honey?" I dared to ask Aaron.
I heard him coming and I kept walking towards our cabin.
"Now, wait a minute." Aaron grabbed my forearm and pulled me to a stop. "What was all that about?"
"I don't know what you're talking about."
Aaron's face was hard and his eyes flaring. "That whole thing where you told your friends what you thought of them."
"Well, like you said, I told them what I thought." I said innocently.
"I am your husband." Aaron stated.
"I am well aware of that." I lifted my left arm to show him my rings. Then sighed. "Aaron, what I did and said has nothing to do with us. I was just being honest with my friends. They asked, it was more like a joke to them except for Elliot who wanted to ask a girl out. They're friends. We encourage friends to do what they want. It has nothing to do with our marriage or what I think of you."
"Oh yeah? So what exactly do you think of me, Mrs. Scarlatti?" Aaron pulled me to him, our chests touching and I had to tilt my head back to be able to look him in the eye.
"I think your mysterious, thickheaded, strong, bossy, a freaking great actor and so damned gorgeous it makes my mouth water. But you're also cold and that makes me want to knock some since into that head of yours." I snapped in a whisper as I noticed people passing by giving us curious looks.
"I'll admit some of those things, like being bossy and sometimes cold. But I am also smart, caring, honest, loyal, fair, passionate and possessive with what's mine. And you Regan, you're mine." Aaron said through gritted teeth.
It was the look in his eyes that nearly made me fall to his feet.
"Then why are you faking to be someone else?"
"What are you talking about?" his grip on me loosed a little, but still held me in place.
God, a woman can't think straight when pressed up to someone like him.
"Why are you pretending to be what you're not in front of my friends?"
"I'm being nice." Aaron said.
"No. You're doing what you think they'll see as nice. Why? Why do you fake to be that?"
It took him a moment to answer, all the while he stared right into my eyes. It was as if he could see my soul and that scared me.
"Because they're your friends. Because you care. And I'm trying hard here to make you happy." he confessed.
I felt myself soften. Then cursed him for putting up that face of confusion. He's already gorgeous, sexy, handsome, beautiful, mouth watering and now he has to be adorable? Damn him.
"Aaron you don't have to be someone else to make me happy. All I want is you to be yourself. With an exception of course." his grip loosed enough for me to be able to move my arm, so I put them both around his neck.
"Which is?" he looked down at me curiously.
"That you aren't cold and distant. Like you said you wouldn't, back at the cabin. If we're going to give this a shot, we have to be everything but that."
"I don't have a problem with that." he smiled a little.
"Good." I whispered and pulled his head down for a soft, sweet kiss. That of course didn't last long.
"Get a room."
And now I officially hate the triplets.
"Why don't you three get a life already?" I snapped.
Here I am, trying to make my husband touch me and they interrupt like they have the right to do so. God, one of these days I'm going to tie them both to a train and watch them run for their life.
I grabbed Aaron's hand and pulled him with me to our cabin.
Once we were inside I went to our bed and sat down angrily. If those three are going to be bitches the whole time we're here, I'm going to be insane by the end of it.
"You know, if those girls don't stop bothering us I'm going to put a restraining order on them." Aaron said and sat next to me, equally pissed.
"I declined my mom's offer to one of her friend's school because of the drama. Now I have to live with this." I groaned and let myself fall backwards into the bed. My back hitting the soft material.
"You only have three months left, if I'm correct." Aaron laid back next to me.
"Of course you are." I sighed and rolled over to place my head on his chest. "Want to take a nap?"
"Sure." he started playing with my hair and soon I went into a deep slumber.
I don't know how much we slept, or how much I slept. I couldn't be sure if Aaron fell asleep too or not. But when I woke up, I was alone on the bed. I felt a pang of pain on my chest.
"You're awake." Aaron came out of the bathroom holding a towel to dry his hair. "One of the girls, the red haired girl..."
He trailed off, waiting for me to fill in the name.
"Alice."
"Her. She said the bonfire was in an hour. Apparently its mandatory to assist." he set down the towel and ran his hand through his hair to tame it.
"It is." I got up and went inside the bathroom with a new pair of clothes. "I'll change, then we can go find them. They can't go too far without an adult. I bet their dying to do something."
I didn't fully closed the door, I left it about two inches opened but made sure I wasn't in sight. I changed into another pair of khaki colored shorts, I changed my bra into one that tied behind my neck and back, then I placed a very loose white blouse over it.
"They haven't mentioned anything." Aaron commented as I pulled the door open now that I was changed, then pulled my hair into a really loose and messy bun. I want to be comfortable right now. And even though my mother would kill me for not wearing something more decent, I felt right with this.
"That's because they don't really have the courage to ask you anything. They don't know you well enough." I explained as I walked back to the room, placing my clothes in side the suitcase.
"It's the same with you. Unless you knew them all before you enrolled." Aaron just sat down on the bed watching as I finished getting ready. It felt strange. He rarely is there when I'm doing anything this intimate.
"Hey, we match!" I finally noticed.
He wore a pair of khaki colored pants and a white button up shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. God, I loved when he did that.
The comment earned me a chuckle.
"Back to my friends, lets say they feel more comfortable telling me things." I explained.
"Aaron is R-" Leah came in with Alice right behind her and the guys gathering behind them. "Oh you are awake!"
They all visibly relaxed.
"We were about to awkwardly ask your hubby to take us to the bonfire if you were still asleep." Alice grinned.
"All adults must attend." Greg informed.
"Please tell me you guys are ready." Elliot looked ready to sprint.
Aaron and I shared quick looks, he nodded and I replied. "We're ready. Lead the way."
We followed the guys. They were leading us to where all the noise came from.
The night was filled with twinkling bright stars. There was the occasional rush of wind and you could smell the grass and threes. As we got closer, the fire came into view and everything was perfect.
"We all gather around one. They set around six fires. Someone gives a speech that last like two seconds and then we all just hang out." Leah said as we got close to the bonfires. We went pass one that was already surrounded by too many people.
"They play music, some sing, some dance, some tell stories, some eat. We do all five." Alice grinned excitedly, then running up to Jared, succeeding on jumping on his back and staying.
I raised an eyebrow at that but didn't comment on it.
We stopped by the third bonfire, it was the one with less people. There were logs set down meant for us to sit. There was a guy with an acoustic guitar and a girl sitting beside him. No one was playing anything, it was just the noise of people talking.
More people started gathering around us. Alice, Leah and Jared sat down on the log while the rest of us stood in front of them. Elliot had his arm wrapped around a girl I didn't know, I'm assuming it's the one he wanted to ask out. She had straight black hair that went down to her shoulders, the darkest blue eyes I've seen so far, tanned skin and she had a silver hoop piercing on her nose.
Greg stood behind Leah, his hands on her shoulders as he argued over something I didn't understand with Elliot. And Aaron and I weren't touching. We just stood next to each other, listening to what the group of people in front of us said.
"You seriously are a douche, aren't you going to introduce us to your friend?" Jared rolled his eyes at Elliot.
"It completely slipped my mind. This is Jessica." Elliot said to us and then to the girl. "Jess these are my friends." motioning to us.
The air was filled with greetings and genuine smiles.
"Everyone listen up!" A voice ran through the speakers, grabbing everyone's attention. "We're glad to know that most of you could attend this trip, since it's your last year as high school students in our institution. We all sincerely hope that you have a great time. And I'll like to make a new rule, due to the incidents of last year, nobody is allowed to take a swim at the lake past this hour. If you disobey we'll send you home. Now have fun!"
What an encouraging speech.
I rolled my eyes and then watched in awe as the music started. We were all very well separated so that the music only slightly overlapped each other. And the guys playing at our circle were pretty great.
Alice started singing along and that earned a few chuckles and winces from the students surrounding us. I was quite impressed when Leah started singing, her voice just soothed. While those two sang to their hearts content, Greg and Elliot pulled out things from Leah's bag. Marshmallows, chocolate, cookies, sandwiches, drinks. How it all fit in there was quite impressing.
Jared handed Aaron two sticks that he'd taken from the bag. Aaron handed me one and then the marshmallows were passed along. Aaron grabbed a few bars of chocolate and we made it closer to the fire.
"It's been a while since I've done this." Aaron commented as our sticks were held close to the fire to start burning some of the marshmallow.
"Hanging out with a bunch of teenagers?" I supplied. We stood next to each other. Several other students gathered around us to place the sticks over the fire. The music didn't stop and it made me relax and feel free.
"Enjoying someone's company over music and chocolate." as he said the last part, he took a bite of the bar of chocolate. So I guess he likes it. A lot.
I smiled. "It feels nice."
"Yes it does." Aaron grinned and leaned down to place a soft kiss to my lips, of course it was a one second kind of kiss.
"We know you guys are married and all but stop being so sweet, it's going to give me diabetes." One stranger of the group grinned at us both.
"That's going to give you diabetes." Aaron pointed to the pile of marshmallows and cookies the guy held in his hand.
"And cavities." I chuckled.
I don't know why it was so amusing but everyone started joking at that.
I slightly turned to look at Aaron's profile as he watched the others crack jokes and talk animatedly. He wasn't perfect. His nose was slightly leaning to one side, probably broke it. That thought drove me crazy, I couldn't imagine him in a fist fight so he could've slipped or something.
No, he wasn't perfect looking or had a perfect personality. But I couldn't bring myself to see it that way. Maybe it's because I came to care for him, I don't know, but those imperfections is what makes him absolutely gorgeous in my eyes. And his coldness and indifference could have an appeal if they weren't directed at me.
I shifted my eyes before he caught me looking. What I didn't count on was that we were surrounded by people, they could notice my staring. And of course Alice noticed, she wiggled her eyebrows at it. Then there were a couple of other girls and boys who gave me suggestive looks or chuckled away. So embarrassing.
"How about some pictures?" Jess, Elliot's new friend and maybe soon-to-be girlfriend, searched her pockets for a camera.
A few students groaned at the suggestion, just as some cheered at it.
She didn't ask us to move around or anything. It was her moving around. What she did as some times was for us to look up and smile here and there.
"She works for the school's newspaper." Elliot explained as she got away to snap more pictures.
I smiled at him, noticing how his eyes followed the girl.
It wasn't too long before we'd eaten all of the food and sat down, trying not to puke at how full we were. Maybe I shouldn't had eaten so many cookies. Those little things of the devil were my destruction. But then again Aaron might like chubby girls, that's probably why I don't appeal to him.
The simple thought made me laugh. It couldn't be. What happened in the cabin proved that he at least he felt some sort of passion or lust towards me.
"What's so funny?" my husband asked, looking torn between amusement and concern.
"It's nothing." I squeezed his forearm for reassurance.
"How about some dancing to burn off all the food we just devoured?!" a girl got up excitedly, I think I heard someone call her Tannie, but I couldn't be sure.
I don't know where they got them from but soon there was an iPod plugged into a set of speakers. A few cheered and got up to start moving their bodies to the beat. Other's groaned, still not able to move after all the junk eaten.
"Want to dance?" Aaron got up, his hand extended to mine for taking.
And of course I gawked at him.
"You dance?"
"Of course I dance." Aaron looked at me a bit amused. I got up, holding his hand.
"It's not slow dancing." I pointed out as we neared the group of people who were dancing their frustrations away.
"I know." Aaron chuckled and pulled me a little bit closer, swaying his hips and making me gawk at him all over again. "Just because I was raised differently doesn't mean I can't do some things. You should understand that. We were raised the same way."
"Good point." I chuckled, finally easing into the dance. "Show me your best moves, honey."
I challenged him. And I learned I shouldn't do that often. But how could I have known that the man in front of me was such a great dancer? He looked so sexy moving his body like it was meant to go with the rhythm of the song.
He winked at me and made a gesture for me to do better. Oh it's on, I thought as I moved my body the best I could. It's been a while since I'd dance to this kind of music. The past year or two I've assisted balls and business parties, then I married Aaron and we haven't danced together that much, if at all.
It was after a couple of songs that I noticed we were the only ones dancing. People had gathered around us to watch the show. Everyone was grinning and their mouth moved to word I couldn't make out due to the loud music.
I made a certain move that had Aaron laughing out loud. I liked that sound. And everyone quieted down when they heard it. I guess they are all surprised by Aaron's behavior. I am too but I'm not supposed to show it, I'm supposed to know this side of him. I'm his wife.
So I acted like this whole thing was normal.
With another laugh, Aaron pulled me by my hand close to his body. And when I say close, I mean pressed-right-against-all-that-hard-muscle-and-mouth-watering-body close. His face was lowered so that his lips were only an inch apart. My breath hitched as he eyes bored into mine. Our breaths mingling and our chest moving fast to our quick breathing.
His arm went around my waist while the other held my hand, he suddenly grinned and moved his hips in a swaying manner, moving me right along him. Then when the song finished he pressed his lips to mine in a mind melting kiss.
After pulling away he bowed, chuckling as everyone clapped complimenting our moves.
I couldn't help the smile on my face as I noticed our fingers were still intertwined. But there was also a small part of me worried that after we got back home, he'll be the usual self he's always shown me.