★𑁍★
I awake to warmth and the soft sounds of talking. Cuddling into the warmth a soft chuckle above me gets my attention.
"You still sleepy?" Elijah's soft voice echos in my sleepy mind, I nod when it finally registers. A hand runs through my hair tugging gently ever so often. "Go back to sleep then. ."
I feel more tired as it goes on but I'm unable to sleep. So I lay there for who knows how long. A few seconds later I squirm in my spot bored.
"What's wrong Angel?" His gentle voice filled my head and I stopped squirming. I shake my head and sit up.
"You don't want to tell me?" He asks and I hold my hand out for his. He gives me it. 🄱-🄾-🅁-🄳. I try to spell. He understands what I was trying to say and motions for me to come closer.
"Want to watch this show with me?" I nod and move as he sits me on his lap. I lean back against him and his hand curls in my hair, tugging and running through it as we both watch the t.v.
"I'll restart it so you know what's happening. ." He says and does it, going back a few episodes. The show starts.
A blonde woman brings her kid into a nursery. "Come on Dean, let's go say goodnight to your brother."
"Night Sam." Dean runs up to the crib and kisses Sam's forehead. The woman follows his actions, and few seconds later a man comes in smiling at them.
Dean runs up to him shouting daddy. The man catches him and carries the little boy. "You got him?" The woman asks the male and he nods. "I got him."
And the show goes on.
🅂🅄🄿🄴🅁🄽🄰🅃🅄🅁🄰🄻
is what the show was called.
The story of two brothers who look for their father all while taking care of monsters along the way.
It was interesting to say the least, a bit scary too. Especially the way they fight. But Elijah's been here holding me whenever I get scared. His arms wrapped around my waist as he pulls me closer so I lay completely against him. His hand plays with my hair like it's been doing since I've woken up.
Once the episode comes to its finish the door opens making me jump. Elijah laughs and holds me, calming me down. "You're so cute." My heart races but when I see that it's only Lachlan I sigh in relief. Curling into Elijah I stare at Lachlan as he comes in sitting beside us.
"We're going to the mall today after breakfast so best to get ready."
ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴀʟʟ?
What is that?
Sensing my confusion, Elijah sits up more and moves to get up. "A mall is a bunch of stores put into one big place so you're able to choose which one you want to go too without having to go far from another place." He explained and I understood. I nod and get up.
We have to get ready, right?
Not knowing what to do as my clothes aren't in my room and I don't know where they went, I stare up a Elijah. "What's wrong?" He asks and I point to myself before pulling at my clothes.
What do I do if I don't have any clothes?
Lachlan seems to understand as he goes to leave the room instantly. "He needs clothes." He says as he leaves.
Elijah nods in understanding and looks down at me. "I'll be right back okay, I'm going to get dressed, Lachlan will be back soon probably with clothes for you, if I'm not back by then he'll help you get dressed. Is that okay?"
Lachlan will help me?
I nod.
He needs to get ready as well, and I'm making him stay. Lachlan will help me.
So Elijah leaves too. And like he said, Lachlan returns soon after with clothes in his hands. "Do you need help?" He asks me, and I take a second to think about it. I didn't really need help, but he's nice. Slowly I walk up to him, and grab onto his forearm nodding. I bring him closer to the bed so we stood side by side it.
"Okay, let's get these off you." He says and reaches for my shirt, I lift my arms to help him take it off.
When he looks back at me he stops. "You're so skinny. ." He whispered out, and I wasn't sure if I was meant to hear it or not but I did. I look down at my body and see that he was right, I was skinny. But I also wasn't. Mommy always said that I was getting too big for my age. She wasn't mean to me when she said that either. So it must be true.
I pull at the strings of the shorts and they fall down to my feet leaving me in nothing but underwear. He stares at me so I stare back at him, waiting. He takes in my small body thinking to himself. I shiver a little as a small breeze flows by chilling the area, making me cold now that I'm naked.
Lachlan as if snapping out of a trance, grabs the shirt and tells me to lift my arms pulling the shirt over my head and down my body. Next he grabs the pants helping me put them on, I almost fall as he pulls the pants up but he catches me letting me hang onto him as he fixes my pants.
"All done!" He says and he grabs my legs and lifts me up. Already hanging onto him, I move closer holding on tighter.
"It's okay Angel." He pats my back with one hand and places the other under my butt and adjusts me so I sit on his hip. I lay my head on his shoulder and adjust my arms around his neck. Might as well get comfortable. . Right?
He brings me down to breakfast, opening the door easily and closing it just as easy. On the way down the hallway I hear a sweet cheerful voice. "Awww!" I lift my head to see Austin and Basil behind Lachlan. Lachlan stops walking to wait for them.
"Do you like being carried Angel?" Austin asks skipping up to us. Did I like being carried? I think back to all the times I've been carried since coming here. I nod. They were nice, comfy.
"Aww you're like a wittle bawby!"
I'm. . a baby?
My cheeks redden with heat and I bury my head into the crook of his neck embarrassed. Austin squeals and pinches my cheek under the mask, or what he can get at. I flinch at the unexpected sudden pain in my cheek of being pinched and stare at Austin curiously, taking his hand in mine.
"You're a cute wittle baby, aren't you!" He smiles at me making a funny face. Thinking like a baby, as he called me, I slowly place his fingers in my mouth and suck them. Taking in his shocked face my lips twitch up even more than they have before. Austin, noticing, gasps and smiles at me. "Oh this is funny to you huh, 𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚢?"
He takes his fingers out of my mouth and wipes them on himself. "Keep acting like that and we'll have to get you diapers and a bottle for our small little baby, don't we Basil?" He adds looking to Basil who smiles, trying to hold in his laughs.
"Yes we do Aus, maybe we should get him a pacifier too." He says adding onto Austin's teasing.
I hide myself into Lachlan who laughs, getting Austin and Basil to laugh as well. My face burns red and my heart races a little, they aren't being mean so. . What did that mean? They seemed. . Amused. It makes my stomach feel weird and fluttery.
"Alright, I think we should stop teasing him and get bring our baby to breakfast." Lachlan said continuing his walk. Conversation flows easily between the three of them as they walk.
I'm handed to Emerson when we reach the table and I instantly make myself comfortable in his lap and look up and him. I wrap my arms around his waist and pull the two of us together.
"Angel?" His arms wrap around me pulling me closer if possible. I grab his hand and write, 🄷-🄰-🄿-🄿-🅈. He rubs my back and runs his hand through my hair. "You're happy?" I nod and look up at him, he's already looking down at me. He smiles and pats my head.
"Okay happy, time to eat!" He passes me my smoothie and I drink it all right away so I could hold the plate for Emerson who thanks me but says I don't need to do that, again. And once everyone is finished they race towards the door, with both Emerson and I walking behind them holding hands. "They seem lively don't they?" He started, "are you excited to go to the mall with us?" I shrug my shoulders not knowing what to answer. Was I excited to go? I barely even knew what that meant.
The squeeze on my hand breaks my thoughts, I look up at Emerson who smiles at me. "It's okay if you're not, you don't need to worry about that okay?"
It's okay?
I nod slowly, not knowing what else to do or how to respond.
Everyone already getting their shoes on, I look for mine which happen to be beside Basil who notices my stare, like he could feel it on him. He looks down and sees my small worn-down shoes by his feet. He bends over to pick them up and comes over holding them out for me. "Here you go."
I grab them and sit on the floor to slip them on, not tying the laces as I don't know how. Basil, surprising me bends down in front of me. "Do you need help?"
No? I thought, but then re-thought it over, he was being nice. I nod though, letting him tie my shoes.
"Are they good?" He asks when he's done and I move my feet around and stomp a little to test them. I nod again to signal it's good.
Basil stands up and holds his hand out. Staring at it I lift my hand slowly, confused, I give him my hand and he wraps his hand around mine before pulling me up harshly. I go flying into Basil who makes a noise of surprise. Arms wrapped around each other, I close my eyes as I hold onto Basil. Hands pat my back softly, "are you okay?"
I open my eyes and see that I was wrapped up in Basil's arms, everyone else staring at the two of us. Uncomfortable with the stares I hide myself in Basil's arms and body.
"Okay guys, he's fine, are we ready to go?" Emerson's voice powers through, filling the silence.
Austin shouts making everyone jump at the sudden loud noise. "YEAH!!" He basically jumps up and down waiting. Austin comes up to the both of us smiling excitedly. "Are you ready Angel?!" He almost shouts, causing me to jump again and curl into Basil.
"Inside voices Austin." Emerson reminds Austin like he's done so-many times.
Austin winces and smiles guiltily at me. "Oops. . Are you ready Angel?" He asks again with his voice lowered. Shy and confused, I nod slowly. Austin reaches over and grabs my hand gently, surprising me at his gentleness. "Perfect! Let's go let's go let's go!" He barely contains his excitement, earning sighs from the others but they smile at him.
The door opens and instantly I was pulled through. Austin runs through the door holding my hand, I try hard to keep up with him but I can't. I stumble tripping on nothing, I fall to the cement ground with a thud.
Pain shoots through my knees and hands as I'd braced myself with them, hitting the cement ground hard. Gasps filled the air and footsteps thumped on the ground. Wanting to get off my legs and hands I slip onto my back only to see everyone surrounding me, staring.
"Are you okay?" Was the first thing I hear as the voices all mixed together as they talked. Emerson cuts off all the talking as he raises his hand, he kneels down beside me. "Are you okay Angel?"
I am okay, nothing like what mother has done to me. But, I also wasn't in a way that was super confusing. I didn't know if I was actually okay, I couldn't answer. I didn't have an answer.
Sitting up and moving towards Emerson, I Lift up my arms and wrap them around his neck as he picks me up, Understanding what I wanted. He stands up and carries me back inside the house. I hear the many footsteps of others as they follow us back inside. Austin comes barreling inside with apologies. "I'm so sorry Angel!"
I curl into Emerson for comfort, and he pats my back as he walks holding me closer to him. "I bet that was pretty scary huh?" He asks me and I nod. My heart races against my chest as I try to calm down.
It was pretty scary. .
"You're okay Angel. ." He rubs my back and instantly I calm down. There's just something nice about back rubs. I lay against him. He goes to put me down but I hang on not wanting him to let me go. Chuckles and giggles sound around us, Emerson moves so I'm sat on his lap instead.
"We need to look at your legs Angel, can we?" Emerson asks as he tries to turn me around. I nod that it's okay and move with him just wanting to be close to him. I lay against Emerson's chest and let Callum lift up the pants that were given to me, high enough so he could see my knees.
Little drops of liquid runs down my leg and I knew instantly that it was blood. "Can one of you get the first aid kit?" Callum asks and immediately Ash runs off with Basil to go get it. I look up to Emerson scared at what he said.
What the heck was a First Aid Kit?
Emerson pats my back like he knows what I'm thinking. "It's okay, he's going to take care of your knees." He says like it makes sense. And to a normal person, it might, but I'm not a normal person. When they come back with a bag my heart speeds up and my breathing escalates little by little. Callum grabs a bottle and wipes from the bag as well as a bandage, but as soon as he comes close to me I squirm in Emerson's hold.
Emerson's grip on me tightens on me and I panic even more, thrashing around in his grip-breathing hard. Anything they say gets lost in my panic, not being able to hear anything as everything is like white noise.
—"Would you just shut up you useless little shit!" Mother screamed at me, kicking at my already bent and bruised legs making me fall to the hard cement floor of the cold basement.
I almost whimper in pain but I stop myself. I'd make a noise and that'll only get me in more trouble. So I don't. Despite how much I feel like I need too, I don't.
I bite my tongue hard enough that iron takes over my taste-buds. Liquid runs down my throat as I swallow the nasty taste, knowing I bit it till it bled.
But I had to stop.
"Good, now maybe then you'll know your place." She spat at me snarkily, smirking at my pathetic figure.
Tears gather in my eyes, wether from pain or sadness, I didn't know. All I knew, was that it was overwhelming. Not being able to crawl to my corner with the sudden overwhelming feeling, I lay on the floor shedding silent tears as the blurry figure of my mother disappears, leaving me in my state.
Everything gets light and dizzy as I try to stay awake but black dots my tear filled vision as I breathe heavily. Knowing I'm not aloud to speak or make any sorts of noise, I think, help me. .
Before finally, everything goes black, giving me a sense of relief at the escape, hoping that this time I'd dream of happy things. And definitely not of my life that's ruled over by my mother—
"Only in my darkest moments can I see the light." Callum's voice breaks through it all and I stop. I stop everything. "I think I'm prone to getting blinded when it's bright. ." I lean against Emerson tiredly, listening to Callum's voice as he sings, slowly but surly calming down.
"Well, this December, I'll remember." My breathing goes back to normal and my limbs relax against Emerson. "Want to see it when I do. Ooh."
I close my eyes and just, breathe. "God knows I do. ." Callum finishes his song leaving me taken away by him. I've never heard of that song before but then again I've barely heard of any songs. But his voice is so beautiful. .
"All done!" He says as he stands, leaning towards me smiling. He pats my head gently, "that wasn't so bad was it?"
"You're so strong Angel." Emerson whispers behind me, rubbing my arms and stomach giving me comfort. I sigh and nod at Callum, slumping against Emerson.
It wasn't so bad.
But I was pooped out from freaking out so bad. Callum rolls down the pants to cover my legs and holds out his hands. "Can I see your hands Angel?"
Hesitantly I nod giving him my hands. He flips them over to inspect them and grabs the same things as before making me pull my hands away. Only instead of letting me pull away he grips my hand a bit harder, not by much but enough to keep my hands there.
"Only in my darkest moments can I see the light." He starts again and this time I don't pull, staring at him curiously. "I think I'm prone to getting blinded when it's bright. "
Callum brings my hands back to his and instantly he gets to work. Gently rubbing at my hands. "Well, this December, I'll remember."
Next he places a small cream on it, spreading it around evenly. "Want to see it when you do. Ooh."
Then he wraps a white cloth around my hand doing the same for the other. "God knows I do."
Gently, he pulls me out of Emerson's grasp, holding my hands as he slowly pulled me around waving our hands around, dancing. "I'm alright, if you're alright."
He swings us around at my pace so I don't fall again. "And I'm okay, if you're okay."
I follow his lead as he twirls me around. "Its this state, in this state I'm living in, it's just a little bit."
I almost trip when he pulls me closer to him but he catches me and we continue dancing. "It's just a little bit lonely in this home, it's always colder on your own."
For a second we step away from each other only to get even closer than before as we move. "My darling I, I let the seasons change my mind."
We spin in a circle again slowly, my lips twitch up and I smile for the first time in eleven years. "Only in my darkest moments, I wanna see you with your head wide open."
He twirls me twice and grabs both hands and moves us around again. "Empty on the ground, gone without a sound. Just another white elm growing at the end of town."
My chest feels light and fluttery, and I hold on tighter to his hands as we move. "Well, this December, I'll remember. Want to see it when you do. Ooh. God knows I do."
He tips me backwards and I get scared for a second thinking he'll drop me, but he doesn't. "Well I'm alright if you're alright and I'm okay if you're okay. It's this state, in this state I'm living in. It's just a little bit,"
Callum spins us around again, moving slowly. "It's just a little bit, it's just a little bit lonely in this home, it's always colder on your own."
We slide across the floor in a small square, taking small steps each time. "My darling I, I let the seasons change my mind."
He spins us around a little faster and I giggle softly, "I'm alright if you're alright. I'm okay if you're okay. It's this state, in this state I'm living in."
He slows us down to our usual pace as he smiles brightly at me. "It's just a little bit, it's just a bit- Maybe this December, I'll remember, want to see it when I do," He twirls me one last time, "God knows I do. ." He slows us to a stop and I jump wrapping my arms around his waist.
"Aww, are you happy baby?" Basil asks and I nod, Callum's arms wrap around me as well. They all aww at that, staring at me. I hide myself in his hold with pink cheeks, his arms scrambling for my squirming figure.
"Alright, that's enough guys." Emerson says, "Angel, would you still like to go to the mall?" He asks and I take a second to think about it. Did I really want to go to an unknown place for a few hours? Hesitantly, I nod, unsure. But as time goes on my nod gets faster, the more excited I get.
We can go exploring!
Pushing myself out of Callum's hold I walk up to Emerson and grab his hand, pulling using my entire body I try to pull him outside. It doesn't work as I'm not strong, so I slip heading straight first into his lower body. But before I could Emerson catches me and picks me up.
"You excited to go?" I nod firmly pointing towards the door. The others laugh and giggle at us, and heads out the door with Emerson and I following after them.
They lead us into this other part of the house where all the cars are, and splits off into two groups.
Basil, Ash, Dean, Callum and Arrow head for one vehicle.
Emerson and I, Elijah, Austin, Lachlan, and Rider head for the other. As we get closer Emerson puts me down and heads for the drivers spot, unlocking the vehicle so everyone else could get in. Rider being second oldest there gets in the passenger side. Lachlan opens the back door and moves the seat so Austin can get in the back, moving the seat back when he is. Elijah gets in on the other side, and Lachlan looks at me holding the door.
"Your turn Angel." He places a hand on my back and lightly pushes me so I move to sit inside the vehicle. I sit in the middle between Elijah and Lachlan, who helps me with the seat belt even though I could have done it myself.
"Everyone got their seat belts on?"
"Yup."
everyone but me answered Emerson. The car starts and I jump grabbing Elijah's hand. Who in returns holds mine, rubbing his thumb on the top of my hand.
A loud sound plays throughout the entire car making all of us jump before Rider turns it down.
"You got two black eyes from loving to hard." The song plays, "And a black car that matches your blackest soul."
The car reverses and drives down the driveway following the other car in front of us. "I wouldn't change ya, oh. Wouldn't ever try to make you leave, no."
Rider turns it up a little louder, blasting the music and they cheer. "Wouldn't ever try to make you leave, no
Oh, the neon coast was your sign
And the Midwest wind with Pisces rising
Wouldn't change ya, oh
Wouldn't ever try to make you leave, no
Static palms melt your vibe
Midnight whisperings
The black magic of Mulholland Drive
Swimming pools under desert skies
Drinking white wine in the blushing light
Just another LA devotee
Sunsets on the evil eye
Invisible to the Hollywood shrine
Always on the hunt for a little more time
Just another LA devotee
Just another, just another, uh oh
Just another, just another, uh oh
Just another, just another, uh oh
Just another LA devotee."
The car stops and for a second I think we're already there, but one look out the window says we're still in traffic.
"You got bleached out eyes from the valley sand
And a black tar palms keep weeping your name
I couldn't change ya, oh
Couldn't ever try to make you see, no
The high rise lights that read your rights
And a downtown storm with Aries rising
Couldn't change ya, oh
Couldn't ever try to make you see, no
Static palms melt your vibe
Midnight whisperings
The black magic on Mulholland Drive
Swimming pools under desert skies
Drinking white wine in the blushing light
Just another LA devotee
Sunsets on the evil eye
Invisible to the Hollywood shrine
Always on the hunt for a little more time
Just another LA devotee
Just another, just another, uh oh
Just another, just another, uh oh
Just another, just another, uh oh
Just another LA devotee
La Devotee
La Devotee
La Devotee
La Devotee."
The car starts again and this time we drive without stopping, the others, Austin, Rider, Lachlan and even Elijah sing to this song.
"The black magic on Mulholland Drive
Swimming pools under desert skies
Drinking white wine in the blushing light
Just another LA devotee
Sunsets on the evil eye
Invisible to the Hollywood shrine
Always on the hunt for a little more time
Just another LA devotee
Just another, just another, uh oh
Just another, just another, uh oh
Just another, just another, uh oh
Just another LA devotee."
They finished singing, and I clapped for them, my lips twitched up. They smiled at me, Elijah spoke up as another song was about to play. "You like that Angel?"
I nod furiously hoping that they'll do it again. And they do, they sing a few songs called, 𝐁𝐞𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐂𝐫𝐚𝐳𝐲, 𝐌𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐞, 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐲 𝐈𝐧 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐔𝐒𝐀, 𝐉𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐖𝐚𝐲 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐀𝐫𝐞 ,𝐑𝐨𝐲𝐚𝐥𝐬 𝐁𝐞𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐆𝐨, and, 𝐒𝐎𝐒.
Before I know it, we're there. Emerson cuts of the engine and unlocks the doors and immediately everyone but me, jumps out. Too shocked at how fast they moved. Emerson doing a head count notices I'm not there so he checks inside the vehicle and there I am. Not understanding that I was just confused, he leans over and undoes the belt and gently pulls me out of the vehicle.
I'm stood right beside Austin and Emerson, glancing at the new and unknown area. Cars and all sorts of vehicles surround us and it's dark from the shade. I don't look around long enough to take in much, suddenly feeling scared, I grab onto Emerson's hand. Who then peers down at me yet doesn't let go, he smiles softly at me.
"Are we ready to go in?" Everyone nods smiling, I don't, unsure of what I really wanted. Did I really want to go into this big place where I could easily get lost? Where anything could happen?
My chest suddenly feels heavy and I feel sick. I'm scared. My hand slips from Emerson's, immediately and instinctively they fidget with each other as I have left Stitch at the house. I think of all the different ways things could go wrong and it fills me with even more fear, not helping my situation.
A hand on my back brings me out of my head making me jump. I follow the hand up the arm and to the head, Rider looks down at me with a sad-ish face or what I can only assume is a sad face.
"Are you okay Angel?" Emerson's voice shakes me out of my daze scaring me with how close it sounded, and I turn to see he's kneeling at my side. Hesitantly, I try to search for an answer. I knew what I was feeling, Fear. But I didn't want to say anything, I'd already cause enough trouble today earlier.
And for a second, 𝑰 𝒎𝒊𝒔𝒔 𝒎𝒚 𝒎𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓.
She didn't give me choices, I didn't have to make up my mind, all I had to do was follow her. It was enough. It was more than enough. I liked it the way things were. I didn't have to make hard decisions, or any at all for that matter. All I really had to do was what I was told.
It's all I know.
All I was given.
And I was okay with that.
But now that she's gone and everything is different, I can't help but hope that I can go home soon. Only, I knew this wasn't how it worked. I have to be fixed before I could go home, and with the way things are, I don't think that's soon.
With this new but old feeling, I jump into Emerson's arms, who's arms wrap around me. My body trembles and shakes but for one single moment, does everything suddenly feel okay. And with that new feeling, I nod.
I'm sure Emerson can feel it, everyone else sees it, yet no one makes a noise nor do they move. "Are you sure?" Emerson asks and I nod more affirmatively and he doesn't look convinced but nods to himself.
"You'll stay with me during our visit though, alright?" I nod feeling a bit better that I was staying with him. He grabs my hand as he gets up off the ground and looks to everyone else with a small smile. "Let's go." And with that, we move.
Eleven pairs of footsteps thump on the ground as we arrive the entrance to the building. Two at a time they basically flow through the door, like they've done this so many times before. The once warm air cools as the fans blow above them.
People fill the open areas walking around the shops searching for their perfect item. Or some just view the store before walking by and to their own destination. So much people makes my heart skip a beat, my nerves shoot through the roof and the only thing keeping me from panicking is the comfort I get from holding Emerson's hand. Like he understood what was happening, Emerson walks closer to me, holding my hand tighter.
And slowly but surely, it helps. The shaky feeling goes away and it feels like I can breathe.
"How about we go in there? Angel needs more clothes." Rider nods to the store on our right, and we all look towards it. I try to read the name in big letters to know which store it was but I couldn't.
"The store is called, Hudson Bay." Elijah pipes up from beside me, smiling softly ever so slightly. The others don't disagree and head right in, the seemed excited. I nod in understanding and let Emerson lead us around.
I look around at the items we can choose from and I realize that everything in here was clothes.
Emerson goes to let go which confuses me and makes my heart speed up and the shakiness to come back, I grab onto his hand with both of my own tightly, looking up at him who looks at me surprised. But instead of shaking me off of him, he smiles at me and tightens his grip again, holding my hand. Hesitantly, I let go of his hand but keep holding it with my other one, almost sighing in relief.
A hand pats my head gently and I look at who did it, only to find Elijah staring back at me with a soft expression.
"Let's find Angel some clothes!" Austin squeals as he almost runs off if not for the shared look between him and Emerson. The others nod and immediately head off on their own or in pairs while Elijah and Emerson stay with me.
Both of them, despite Elijah's obvious distaste in looking at clothes, they sift through the rack on either sides of me, occasionally asking if I'd like what they have chosen. Only, I shrugged to their question as I didn't know if I would like it. I don't know if I like anything, well, other than my stuff, and stitch. But the point is, when did what I like matter? It didn't.
So I moved my gaze to the floor feeling heavy in my chest, like I failed them. Both of them bend down to my height, Emerson more so kneeling than bending down, and gets my attention by tilting my head up to meet their eyes even if they couldn't see mine.
"It's okay if you don't know what you like yet, we can figure it out together." I nod to whatever he says not really paying attention. Too focused on the hat that a boy was trying on, it had a ears on top and things on the sides, the ears moved up and down. Slowly, I point at it and both Emerson and Elijah look at it.
Elijah giggles softly, "You want that hat?"
I hesitate, I don't know if I want it But. . It looks cool. So I write that on Emerson's hand, and he smiles.
"It does look cool," he voices so Elijah knows as well, "do you want to try it on?"
Slowly, I nod, mostly taken aback by how nice they were being despite being with them for three days. By now he thought that they would finally show their true nature and start fixing him, but they haven't. Nothing close to it in fact. Maybe. . They really do mean this. That they won't hurt me. Safe, that was the word they taught me. And that's how I feel with them.
Emerson pulls me along to the big box filled with hats and Elijah follows beside us. When we get to the box Emerson goes to let go when I hold on tightly, too scared to let go. But he seemed to be ready for that as he smiles down at me, instead pulling me close so his arms wrap around my body, peering at Emerson's face as he looks at me.
"We won't ever leave you Angel, it's okay."
I wrap my arms around him and lay my head against him. Any uneasy feeling I have goes away. And hesitantly, I nod pulling away from him, but still sticking close to him as he's within reach distance. The uneasy feeling comes back and my hands shake but I push it away and stand still while Elijah and Emerson search through the box.
They bring out four hats all different from each other and hold it out for me to see. One was green with two eye balls on top, I didn't know what it was, another was boring colours and looked like a dog. The ones in Emerson's hands looked like a kitty cat, and a white and black thing I didn't know what it was.
"Which one do you like?" Emerson asks and I can't help but stare at them not answering. How did I know which one I liked.
"There's the Cat and then the Panda." He gestured between the two showing which is which. Elijah did the same for the dog and the frog.
Any uneasy feeling gets overpowered by the feeling of overwhelming failure. Like I failed them in not being able to choose. And I hated it so much. I stare at the floor feeling nothing but guilt. They brought me here to have fun, a good time. They've been nice to me. And here I am, not being able to choose a simple thing.
I shrug hesitantly, fearing that I made them mad. But the second I shrug their faces went soft. Like, they understand. Emerson and Elijah share a look with each other and nod to themselves.
"How about this, we leave these hats here and move on, then we try and figure out what you like, then if by the end of the day you know which one you like we can come back. And if you don't figure it out we'll just come back another time." Emerson says and I nod, instantly grabbing onto his hand again which earns a chuckle from both of them.
I'm lead back into the clothing section when a few seconds later Ash and Dean come up to us with the others not far behind them. All of them carrying a few pieces of clothing.
Austin bouncing up to us happily, "we brought clothes for Angel!" He said as he motions at all of them.
"We didn't know what he'd like so we all got something different." Dean says, realizing this is the first I've heard him speak, to us anyway, it sounds lovely. Not my favourite, but still sounding nice with his rough deep voice. Almost deeper than Emerson's.
Emerson tugs on my hand to get my attention, and I look up at him. "Why don't we try these on?" I don't understand but I nod anyways and follow the bunch towards a bunch of doors with mirrors on them.
A lady comes up to us and asks which of us is going to change and how many clothes we had to try on. Surprising her by saying one and twenty seven clothes she nods and opens a door with her key, then she left us to it.
Them excited to see me in the clothes they picked, wait as Emerson and I stand in the stall. After a gruelling process of having to take off and put on the clothes they picked them showing them, which got an applause each time, was exhausting, even with the help of Emerson.
Out of all the clothes they picked I had widdled it down to four t-shirts, two long-sleeves, seven pants, fluffy colourful socks, and some cartoon boxers.
It was a lot less than what they chose between then and now as they had added more to the collection each time they saw something they thought I'd like. Some of the shirts made me itchy, and I didn't like the shorts as they showed off my scars, which I didn't show anyone but Emerson as I didn't want to go out of the stall with them on. But I didn't mind showing my arms as they didn't have much scars or bruises as the rest of my body did.
And the rest of the clothes were just too much effort to put on, I ended up quitting halfway through the second heard of clothes. But the ones I ended up choosing were childish, but honestly, I think I really liked them. They were nice. I especially liked the pastel green long-sleeve shirt with the black overalls. So much so I asked Emerson if I could wear this instead.
And thankfully, he agreed. I was buzzing with happiness when I wore the outfit out of the store, practically skipping, even though I don't know how, along side Emerson and Austin who stuck close to me as I did Emerson.
The others ventured off on their own when we passed by stores they wanted to go to, going in pairs as Emerson says he doesn't want anyone going alone. But Austin, Callum, and Elijah all stuck close to Emerson and I as we go past the stores. All agreed to meet up in an hour for lunch as time had passed by quickly in the clothes store.
Callum pointed towards an upcoming store, "we should get Angel some new shoes as well.
Austin immediately jumps at this and nods furiously. "Those are probably hurting his feet with how old they are-" he stops himself short for some reason I didn't know as I peered down at my shoes. They were small on my feet and worn down a lot, there were even holes in them as well.
Instantly, they all nod in agreement, heading towards the store. "This store is called Softmoc Shoes, it's where you can get new shoes." Austin explains and I nod at him understanding what he was saying.
So they bring me into the store and split up, but of course Emerson stuck with me. We both sat on the bench and waited for the others to come back, and when they did they had at least two pairs of shoes each. All of them with pictures of cartoons and childish things on them. But I only looked at the ones Austin was holding, those are the ones that caught my attention.
"You like these ones?" He gestured to one then the other, "This one is Spongebob and the other is Mario."
They were both completely different from each other. I looked between them not knowing what to choose.
"Why don't we just get both of them?" Callum asks and I jump, not expecting anyone to say anything. "We all have more than one pairs of shoes, it's only fair for him to have them too." He explains and I don't really understand what he's getting at. Is this like when they told me I had to have more clothes than just one? It was weird.
But Emerson nods anyways, getting an excited sound from Austin. "Which one would you like to wear right now?" Emerson asks and I hesitate, pointing at one of the pairs.
Austin leans down and grabs my feet with a funny face. "Let's get these stinkers off you!" He makes a funny sound which I giggle at. It's a quiet almost unnoticeable sound if you didn't listen you would have missed it. But they didn't, they smile at me as Austin happily tugs off my shoes easily. Setting them aside, he grabs the shoes from Callum who came back from disappearing, I didn't even notice he disappeared, and slid them on my feet.
But before I could stand up, Austin does something I've never done before, he ties the laces. When he's done I stare at the shoes swinging my feet back and forth. "Do you like them?" One of them asks but I'm too focused on how the shoes fit nicely and aren't old and broken down.
I nod, slowly, then furiously. I get up from the seat and almost trip if it weren't for Callum and Elijah, but I stand staring at them. The Mario shoes keep my feet planted, before I took a few wobbly steps.
Unable to contain myself any longer with how happy I am, I fling myself into Emerson's arms, holding him tightly. The others laugh and giggle at me, but I can't bring myself to let go just yet. Emerson rubs my back, "You happy Angel?"
I nod and grab onto his hand, he leads us out of the store. Surprisingly it took less time to find shoes than it did to find clothes, but that might have been because there was less people to choose.
When we come out of the store Elijah points to a store mumbling a 'let's go to that one.' So we did. "This place is called, Spencer's." Callum said as we walked into it.
During our stay at Spencer's, Emerson wouldn't let me follow Callum and Elijah to the back of the store so Austin, himself and I stayed at the front with the clothes and hats. What was beyond there I didn't know, but they came back with a bag full of items I couldn't see.
Lastly, Emerson, the others and I all head towards the food court, or so says Emerson, to meet up with the others as it's officially lunch. Bags set to the ground, we wait for the others to show up, and when they do they bring back their own stuff. They pile their bags with ours, and leave to get their meals, leaving Emerson and I to watch over the bags. I wondered if he would leave to get his own but instead he stayed here, with me.
When the others come back it's with our foods as well. Lunch seemed to pass quite quickly and the more tired I got from being out this long. I was never able to do much than what I know, from what I've been taught. So being out so long and doing things I've never done before made me tired.
Halfway through walking around longer, the more I lean on Emerson. But just as I do I notice a store, the top of the store read, Build a stuffie. Not that I could read it. But it did make me pause walking which in turn made Emerson pause as well. Austin, Callum, Elijah and Basil included.
"See something you like?" Basil asked and I shrug, not knowing much about liking something.
Austin takes my free hand and drags me which drags Emerson into the store. And the rest just follow along.
"Do you want one?" Austin asks as we look around. I shrug, I do, but I already have stuff from them. I look up to Emerson who's already looking down at me. He nods smiling, motioning for me to pick one.
Hesitantly, I nod and start looking through them. And soon, I found one.
Mushu.
I remember him from the old movie that I forgotten the name of. I hold the fabric and show it to Emerson who smiles, taking it and bringing it to the lady who's working there.
A few minutes later, I have a stuffie. In my free hand, which is not so free anymore, I hold Mushu. I lean closer to Emerson as a thanks, which he understands as he grips my hand in his gently.
We walk a little longer, tiring me out, as I struggle to keep my eyes open and my body upright. I stumble over my feet and lean heavily against Emerson.
He must have understood what was happening with me as he picks me up and places me on his hip, holding me close. I let my head fall against his shoulder, basking in his comfort.
Slowly, as he walks on, the soft moves slowly put me to sleep.
★𑁍★
🅂🄴🄿🅃🄴🄼🄱🄴🅁 🄽🄸🄽🅃🄷, 🅃🅆🄴🄽🅃🅈 🅃🅆🄴🄽🅃🅈-🄾🄽🄴, 𝓕𝓲𝓷𝓲𝓼𝓱𝓮𝓭.
𝑷𝒖𝒃𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒉𝒆𝒅, 𝑺𝒆𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒎𝒃𝒆𝒓 𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒉.