"I'm so sorry." you whipped your head downwards, not only had you made direct eye contact but also called him by name.
You didn't know what expression was on Rex lapis' face, nor did you dare to look up. You didn't want to see his expression. Disappointment? Rage? You didn't know.
Your eyes were clenched shut, until you were snapped out of your thoughts by cool fingers under your chin. Your eyes snapped open as slowly Rex lapis lifted your head upwards, your bottom lip quivered as you got a full view of his body.
Once again your eyes met his, but this time you shut them.
"Please stop." you softly pleaded.
As soon as the words left your mouth his fingers were gone leaving you with a depressing knot in your stomach.
"When will you stop putting yourself beneath me?"
"I am beneath you?" you more questioned than answered.
The sigh that followed let you know that he wasn't happy with your answer.
"Can you say it again?" he suddenly asked.
You swallowed nervously, what did he mean?
"Say my name Y/N."
Cold sweat began forming on your back, why had you said it? What kind of animalistic impulse had driven you to-- you merely shook your head.
Your heart pounded in your chest, every heartbeat reminded you of your failures. Fear seemed to cripple you, what felt like fire bubbled in your stomach when suddenly your mind went blank.
That feeling had a name didn't it? Butterflies in your stomach, you remembered reading.
"Are you sure you want to do this?" Rex lapis suddenly asked, snapping you out of your thoughts.
You stood back up, raising your back to stand proudly. "Yes." you answered, determination shone in your eyes.
Necessary words went unspoken between the two of you, while a god of the battlefield, you had no knowledge of what any of your emotions meant. But something tugged at the back of your mind, like a silent scratch pleading for you to do something.
Rex lapis sat down in his golden throne once more, you didn't dare look at him. Anytime you saw him, your heart would flutter in your chest, a feeling you had no idea what meant at the time.
A few minutes later, four men walked into the room, all of them looked equally frail, weak and skinny. You raised your chin up high and stood protectively in front of Rex lapis.
They stared at you, before dropping to their knees.
"Please." one of them begged, you tried to swallow the desire to answer his pleas.
"Please?" Rex lapis repeated questioningly, this is why he had asked if you wanted to stay out of it. He knew you were too soft, which is why you had to prove him wrong.
One of the men suddenly stood up, out of all four of them he looked the most well of. He had a gleam of something in his eyes, something you didn't like. At the sight of him standing up the other three went silent, alarm flaring in their eyes.
"Please." the standing man sneered.
He began walking forward, every step was a step closer to his death. You knew it, everyone in the room knew it. As soon as his foot touched the stairs you would kill him, you wondered how it would look. Would you slash his throat? Would a vine be enough to end him easily?
Time almost seemed to slow, you noticed the glimmer of a knife not very well hidden in his tattered robes.
One second you were readying yourself to kill yet another person, the next you stood in front of him. His eyes widened at you, he moved back his hand, before he had a chance to even move the knife you grabbed his arm.
"Please don't." you whispered knowing only he would hear you.
You felt pathetic, a god begging a mere mortal.
His eyes widened, he stopped struggling almost instantly, without warning or any reason for that matter. The man dropped the knife. It clinked against the ground causing you to stiffen, in your distraction the man wrapped his arms around you.
You let him hug you, it felt warm and comfortable. He sobbed loudly into your shoulder. He pleaded with you, spoke of family. Words that held little meaning to you, you wanted to hug him back. You tried to move, tried to say something when realization suddenly hit you.
This was a memory.
The man took a step back, tears still fresh in his eyes. He fell to his knees in front of you.
"Please, allow me this honor." he hung his head low glancing at Rex lapis, before you.
"Take my life and forgive my people, I am their leader, I am the one who deserves punishment."
Your jaw visibly clenched, No you wanted to say. But your body betrayed you, out of thin air a spear appeared. It hovered in the air, in a matter of seconds thorny vines covered it, you reached out and grabbed it.
Your movements were slow, deliberately so. You didn't want to do it, but you would never go against his words. And even though it was a memory you recognized your own emotions, what they meant. The disgust you felt at your own actions.
"That will be enough Y/N." A hand was suddenly on your shoulder.
You felt as if a weight had suddenly been lifted off your shoulder, Rex lapis stepped in front of you. You released a breath you didn't know you had been holding, your vision spun from the lack of oxygen.
Your clenched hands relaxed as suddenly something clinked to the ground, you looked downwards and much to your surprise and confusion. What looked like a vision laid on the ground, a dendro vision.
A vision?-- your thoughts were interrupted when the memory suddenly shifted. No longer were you in a throne room, but standing in front of something.
"They deserve nothing!" a voice screamed.
"Watch your tone!" you, or rather said, past you shouted in response.
"You dare speak to me? Who are you to stay by his side, a mere--" the voice paused, you had no idea why the figure was so blurry. Perhaps it was just another memory to be remembered?
"Beast!" the voice finished after a brief pause, suddenly you were pulled to the side. Your body, shoved into someone else's. The fresh smell of outside hit you instantly.
You froze realizing who your body was pressed against, you tried to pull away, but Rex lapis held you tightly in your arms, both of his curled around your body, your heart beat furiously in your chest.
Only now, hundreds if not thousands of years later did you realize why.
You had been in love with him, and were still in love with him. And it had been as clear as day to anyone but yourself.
"Morax..?" you squeaked in surprise before you were able to stop yourself.
"Our contract states you are to protect the citizens of Liyue." Rex lapis ignored you and instead spoke to the stranger. His voice however calm was laced with hidden rage, a shiver ran down your spine as you felt his chest vibrate as he spoke.
"She is as much a citizen of Liyue as any other. Harm her, and you break your contract."
Just who am I?
What am I?
You tuned out the voices as questions overwhelmed you. Suddenly the memory shifted again. And this time, your vision was red. This, you realized, this was the real nightmare. And it had only begun.
Blood and carnage, severed limbs and decapitated heads. Everywhere you looked, tried to look away, there was more.
No
No, no, no!
*
Your eyes flung open, pain exploded in your head you quickly realized it wasn't mental pain either. A small thorn had lodged itself into your forehead snapping you out of your sleep.
You almost screamed when you saw the state of your room, it looked like a jungle. Colorful flora decorated the walls, the floor and even the ceiling.
"I can't stay here." you whispered to yourself in horror.
You flung your legs over the edge of your bed, only to almost faint. For a god I sure am weak, you thought trying to make any kind of humor over the situation.
The vines disappeared wherever you walked, dizzily you stumbled out of your room, completely unaware of the noise you were making. For a split second you paused, you stared into the window, or rather said your reflection. Your eyes were glowing, out of instinct you reached up to touch your face, but to your horror your skin felt like sandpaper?
With a sharp inhale you shook your head in denial before stumbling out of the front door and breaking into an adrenaline fueled sprint.
For the next few minutes, your vision went black multiple times. You were sure you passed out for a split second on more than one occasion, but you only stopped when your legs began giving out.
"I've been looking for you." a low voice almost growled out.
Hazily you tilted your head towards the stranger, he stared back at you with unfamiliar yellow eyes.
He's just a boy.
The boy crouched down in front of you, one of his hands rested on a strange mask while the other slowly reached out towards you.
The memory of your nightmare hit you again, a vine wrapped itself around his arm, a defense act more than anything. He threw himself backwards and made a sound resembling a snarl towards you.
Suddenly he put on the mask he had been holding, his eyes shone a bright green and what looked like pure darkness surrounded him. Even though you were laying completely still, your elemental magic seemed to act on it's own.
With one powerful slash of his spear, the wall of thorny vines created by you was gone. However, a second later it had regrown, but all this usage of dendro was taking a toll on you.
"Xiao!" a familiar voice called loudly.
The familiarity of the voice made you instantly relax, so much so that when you finally blinked. You did not open your eyes again.
The adeptus stopped moving immediately, his green spear glowed brightly in his hand pulsing with power.
"Who is she?" the young adeptus growled out pointing his spear at your now unconscious body.
Zhongli didn't waste time before quickly checking on you, the fact that you were so cold made him shakily exhale.
"Someone very dear to me."
He moved his arms underneath your legs before easily picking you up, he pressed you against his body hoping to at least provide some warmth.
Xiao stood still breathing heavily as he watched the scene unfold, confused and hesitant.
"I will not repeat myself," Zhongli's harsh tone caused Xiao to inwardly flinch, "you will not harm her under any circumstances."
The adeptus froze, Rex lapis was dead. Yet what remained of him stood in front of him, and he couldn't help but be drawn to it.
"I--" he began. "I understand," he coldly replied.
"She is cursed, please do not take what little time she may have left."
Cursed? The adeptus inwardly scoffed, I sense no curse- his thoughts came to an abrupt pause as he took notice of the faint traces of a curse.
How you were still alive, baffled him.
As if knowing what Xiao had just realized, Zhongli turned around and began walking back leaving the adeptus with his thoughts in the darkness.