Part 4: -
Micky’s POV
I was entertaining the fans I had watching the twit cam when I heard footsteps behind me but I just brushed them off as being my mum or dad. It wouldn’t really be Ella even though she is out there talking to my mum. I was spying on her, I’m a creep alright. I think we’ve established that by now.
I said goodbye to the fans and headed for the bathroom, I was bursting at the seams. Pretty gruesome I know but it’s only the truth. I noticed a piece of paper with my name on it; it looked so much like Ella’s handwriting. Do I dare read it?
I took the piece of paper to the bathroom with me, I was scared to read it but I knew I had to. However, I knew it was a goodbye letter. I wanted to fight, as my mum had suggested but I knew it was too late. A year a part and not one of us has the strength anymore. We’re just broke. We’re two strangers, I don’t know much about her and she doesn’t know me anymore.
I scanned over her letter and broke. It was as I suspected but I still had that glimmer of hope that we’d be together again. Maybe I am delusional but maybe I’m not, maybe we still do stand a chance and maybe it’s not the memories that are keeping us together, maybe it is actually love. I don’t know. Maybe it is time to give up, no matter how badly I don’t want to, it’s best to move on, maybe. Ugh, I wish I could stop arguing with myself mentally. I swear I’m going to end up in a mental institution.
“Micky, you in there?” My dad half shouted while pounding on the bathroom door. I wiped my tears and walked out. I held my head high, I know my family will see past the façade but I needed to be strong, I needed to let go. Ella’s right it isn’t good for either of our health situations. Ever since the breakup, I haven’t actually eaten much, I always busied myself up. I’m pretty stupid but I was too upset to eat. It’s pretty stupid how I can be the one who’s hurting especially when I was the one that broke up with her in the first place but yeah, I’m stupid.
I sat on my bed in shock, I had no idea what on earth to say or do. I wanted to cry again but I didn’t want to feel so weak. SHIT! I’d left Dan and Greg with Lottie. All three would be drunk by now. Lottie loves her drink whenever she can get out and when she’s out she goes hard. I’m doomed today.
I quickly ran towards the pub we were performing at, I was lucky enough to find Greg and Dan still sat with Lottie. All three were wasted, just typical them, eh? Luckily they didn’t have to fight to try and save someone you care so much about, maybe it was just lust and maybe it was just memories that was keeping us together but maybe it was love. I know I’m repeating myself but I can’t help it, I let her go and now I’m paying the price but there’s always a silver lining to each cloud.
“Hey mate, did you manage to bed Ella then?” Greg shouted, oh great! He was the rowdy drunk tonight, great.
“No and we ain’t even together so drop it Greg. Go get laid on your own or better yet, get your drunken ass home and sober up. You too Dan” I said sternly. Having both my best friends with killer hangovers tomorrow will not be good. I was so dead.
Ella’s POV
I left Micky’s house after I wrote the letter. Lottie still has my house keys so going home was out of the question so I went to the park. You might think I’m crazy for going to the park since it’s still so dark at night but I had no other option, I wasn’t for walking to the other side of town just to get a set of house keys from Rachel and Maria, they’d kill me.
I swung back and forth on a child’s swing, I had nothing else to do plus I needed time to think. I needed a way to tell people things; I needed to be able to do it without hurting them. I just wish words came to me so easily but I stumble at the last hurdle. I probably should just tell it as it is but I get nervous, I get scared and I get terrified that I’ll get hurt. That might be a stupid reason as to why I can’t really tell things as they are but it’s part of me.
I noticed a stranger behind me, he was being observant towards me. I’ll admit I was creeped out, who wouldn’t? But right at this moment I couldn’t really give a crap. I wanted to wallow in my own self-pity and I wanted to do it in style but who would care if I got kidnapped? No one, my families practically disowned me, Micky and I are no longer and my best friends? Have other stuff to worry about than me.
“You know it’s pretty unsafe for a pretty girl like you to be here in a park by yourself” A husky voice said behind me.
“Well, right now I couldn’t give a crap as to whether it was safe or not. Maybe it’ll be the best way to end my pain. Just one shot and I’m gone. Forever” I whined. I was pissed to say the least. He’d interrupted my train of thoughts.
“You know, some things aren’t as bad. There’s always a reason for everything. It might not seem like it right now but there always is”
“I hate life so why be here? I’m practically an orphan and I’m keeping the biggest secret possible from everyone but what are you doing here at this time of night?” I ranted but then asked. I was as curious as he was to my problems.
“Had to get away from everything. My parents were practically strangling me. They think because I have cancer that I’m just going to drop down dead. I’ve been told it’s curable but my parents just think it’s not, they think I’m just going to die without trying but by the way I’m William”
“Nice to meet you William, I’m Ella. I’m here because I’m confused. My ex and I broke up a year ago after a 2 year relationship because he was entering the x factor and now he’s back, wanting me back after everything. He was romantically linked to anyone on legs. It hurt me more than it should’ve but I had to let it go since he wasn’t mine anymore. I have a major condition that no one knows about, I’ve been trailing it around for the last four to five months but I’m getting worse and there’s no hope. My parents don’t give a toss about me, my brother’s stuck with them until he’s old enough, I was pregnant at 16 but miscarried and now everyone wants me to move on from my ex and I’m freaking confused” I ranted, how I managed to tell him everything, I’ve no idea but I kept my condition hidden. I couldn’t let anyone know about that. I wouldn’t. I promised myself, I’d let myself deal with it and not have anyone else worry about me since they all had lives to lead and I wasn’t going to mess things up.
“Holy baloney, your life is more excited than mine has been in my whole 19 years so far. I’m sorry about you and your ex but honey if he really loved you then he wouldn’t have left you in the first place. I know you both have history together but if your ex really loved you he would’ve let the paparazzi talk smack as long as you and he knew the truth. I don’t know what happened in your relationship or why he broke it off but he was pretty stupid to do so. You’re beautiful and he’s stupid enough to let you go. Ella, let someone in about your condition. It’s not easy trying to deal with it on your own, I tried but I failed. My parents found out and it was a good thing because I had someone to lean on when things got tough plus I had to have someone there when I began losing my hair with the chemotherapy”
“Ha, my life is far from exciting. I had to watch my parents leave every single day when I was younger. They always left me and my brother alone with some random babysitter who was mean constantly. I had to endure in hours of abuse and torture from the bitch because I stood up for my brother. I might be the oldest but I wasn’t going to let some bitch hurt my brother. And William, my condition is worsening and telling my friends is completely out the question. 2 of them already hold night jobs so they can’t look out for me and another has a 4 month old baby. I’m best off keeping it to myself; I doubt I’m going to get better. I’m not being rude or unreasonable but why live when there’s nothing worth living for anymore? No one’s probably going to make me as happy as he made me. I might be talking about the memories we both share but it’s hard”
“Ella, things are only as hard as you make them. Sometimes things are easy as saying abc or 123 but sometimes you’re right, sometimes they are hard but that shouldn’t stop you from living your life. Don’t tell your friends about your condition, tell someone else, tell someone who’s going through the same things as you. Don’t hide the fact that you have a condition. I might not be the easiest to tell things to but I will be here if you ever need to talk. Look, I know you’ve only met me tonight but you’re the first one I’ve ever told that I’ve got cancer too, well apart from my parents but they forced me to tell me what was wrong”
“William, I have –“ I went to tell him but someone cut me off. Ugh, just freaking great.
“Willie, there you are. Your mother and father are worried about you. You need to go back home and not hang out with whores here” Who the hell is the whore? I ain’t no whore, bitch. I have feelings too you know, oh wait, she probably doesn’t know that.
“Kelly, Ella ain’t a whore. Now please go back and tell my parents that you haven’t seen me and I’ll be home soon. Right now I have a friend to console so shoo. Kelly I mean it or I swear I will get my parents to fire you for trying to provoke me. Oh did you forget that I have that on video tape? Yeah, that’s right I still have the attempted rape you tried to pull on me on tape so scram before I really do tell my parents” This Kelly person ran for her dear life. Well at least I know William ain’t afraid to show his mean side at times. I still can’t help but compare him to Micky, Micky’s this sweet and innocent boy with a vulnerable and mean side but he’s also very caring and compassionate and William, well he’s hard to tell right now but the comparisons are annoying me since I can’t stop comparing both their eyes. I can’t help but picture Micky’s soft brown eyes in place of William’s bright blue eyes. They both have the same colour of hair so it’s not that hard to compare it to Micky’s but William had a little more muscle to his body. Ugh, am I ever going to get over Micky? Especially when I keep comparing him to other people. I’m so stupid.
“Ella?” William half shouted.
“What?!” I asked a little too harsh, “Sorry, I was out of things but I didn’t mean to snap so harshly”
“It’s alright, I was trying to get your attention for like five minutes but Ella, what condition do you have? If you don’t mind me asking” Should I tell him? Should I spill my one and only secret to someone I barely know? I’ve told him everything else so why should this be a bother? Ugh, I’m so infatuated right now. I don’t know whether to spill or just keep quiet. Of course I want to let people in but I was scared in case they’d just leave me there, defenceless. It’s one of the reasons why I never let my best friends in on this. I was scared they’d run just because I was dying.
“William, I have cancer. I’m dying”
A/N: -
I wanna say thanks for the critical response this story has gotten. I know it's off in some parts but it will all make sense soon. I promise that much but if you've read any of my other stories, you'll understand that I don't like to have a straight plot all the way through, I mix and match a little but it will all make sense soon, I promise that much but enjoy and don't kill me too much :)