A/N: Please ignore any scenes where you see Justin in the Total Drama Action Aftermath 2 intro.
Audience POV
The audience begins clapping and cheering as the Total Drama Action Aftermath show start with Geoff and Bridgette sitting on the couch.
Geoff: Yo, everyone! Haha. I'm Geoff.
Bridgette: And I'm Bridgette. Great to have you back for another super juicy episode of The Aftermath, where we'll be dishing the dirt on Total. Drama. Action!
The crowd then applauses again.
Bridgette: Wow, there's a lot of love out there, eh, Geoff?
Geoff: No doubt, Bridge.
Bridgette: "I wish today could be all about the love, but..." *Sighs* "There's always some haters, too."
Geoff: We may see some of those "dudes" on today's show. "'Cause we've got Gwen here! And DJ!"
Bridgette: We've also got our friends from "first season" joining us here in the V.I.P section. Katie and Sadie, Cody, Noah, Ezekiel, Eva, Courtney, and Tyler!
While the crowd applauses, Bridgette sees that Geoff is no longer sitting next to her.
Bridgette: And we've got Trent and Izzy here too!
Katie: Hi, Trent! We're so happy you're here!
Sadie: I won the thumb war to say hi from us.
Bridgette: He's what? That is so not cool. So, there've been three pretty shocking eliminations since we last saw you. Anything you would like to comment on, Courtney?
Courtney: My lawyer has advised me not to at this time.
Bridgette: Wow. *Chuckles* "So we've also lost Izzy, aka E-Scope, aka Explosivo again, but since she's already been a guest, she won't take the hot seat today." So, some pretty insane things on the show. "The prison movie, the hospital drama, haunted set..."
Geoff: The disaster movie and war flick.
The crowd then applauses again.
Bridgette: Wow. Guess you guys are into terror and destruction. "I was freaking." I was almost glad I was booted off the show. I would not have made it through prison food day. Mm-mm.
Geoff: Me? I've got a stomach of steel.
The crowd then laughs.
Bridgette: Oh, you can't tell me you'd' have wanted to go through what Owen did. A busted-up jaw?! Ouch!
Geoff: Oh, true that. But we've got loads more wicked bad moments of pain coming up! Rad hits "like" you've never seen! "Time for..." That's Gonna Leave a Mark!
Bridgette: You can't just leave me out "here" alone like that on live TV.
Geoff: I-I saw my hair on the monitor, Bridge. There were like, seven strands out of place. "Looked like I'd never met a blow dryer when..." *Chuckles* "In fact, we're "very" good friends."
Bridgette: *Chuckles* Oh, better friends than you are with your girlfriend?
The audience then gasps.
Trent: So uh, guys? That was one great montage of ouch!
Geoff: Uh, it sure was, Trent! Haha. Did you see Owen go down like a sack of honey-glazed hams? Whoo! Check it.
Bridgette: Oh, his poor jaw is headed left and right at the "same time."
Geoff: Hilarious! I'm "pretty" sure your leg is not supposed to go in that direction. But here's my fave. Check out DJ fainting. Now that's what panic looks like, people!
The crowd then applauses again.
Bridgette: How about we "check in" on DJ and "see" how he's holding up.
"The giant screen above them shows Gwen and DJ in the backstage dressing room."
Gwen: They're "gonna" skewer me out there, DJ! They're "gonna" make me into a Gwen-kabob!
DJ: I'd tell you that it'll be okay, but I'm not "gonna" lie. My mama's here today, and I promised I'd never fib again. So yeah, you're probably dead. Hi, mama!
The audience laughs as a guy brings in DJ's Mom.
Gwen: "That thing's on?" Hey, everyone. I'm Gwen, and I'm a nice person.
The crowd then boo's at Gwen.
Bridgette: Before we bring out our first guest, let's "take" a look at his journey on the show.
Bridgette then sees that Geoff got a touch-up.
Bridgette: A touch-up? You spent six hours in makeup; I took ten minutes!
Geoff: My nose was shining g. I needed powder.
Bridgette: *Scoffs* It'd be nice to get a "real" man out here.
Geoff: "DJ started "out" as a strong contender "in" this season."
Bridgette: With a soft spot.
Geoff: Oh, yeah. That's a real man, Bridge.
Bridgette: "But when Chef secretly took him under his wing, making a deal to split the cool mil if they won..."
Bridgette: Happily for the rest of the cast, DJ had a thing or two to teach Chef about cooking actual food.
Geoff: But ultimately, DJ's conscience had something to teach him, too, leading to his dramatic exit. Our guest doesn't eat dolphin dogs, does a heck of a ribbon dance, and once thought he caught a pepperoni disease, welcome DJ!
DJ then heads out onto the stage and greets everyone.
DJ: Hey, everybody. What's up?
DJ then greets Geoff with a handshake and kisses Bridgette's cheek.
Bridgette: So DJ, how are you feeling after everything?
Geoff: What kind of a question is that?! Dude lost a million bucks.
DJ: Hey, but I have my integrity. And that's worth more.
Geoff: Oh, come on! That is total bull! Am I right, "dudes?!"
Katie: Do we clap if we agree or disagree?
Ezekiel: *Claps*
Geoff: Thank you, homeschool. "Glad someone's keeping real." "The rest of you are...full of it." Haha. And you know what we do to liars! That's right! It's Truth or Anvil!
An anvil on a rope then appears right above DJ.
DJ: "Mama..."
Bridgette: Geoff, it's Truth or Hammer. What happened to the hammer?
Geoff: The producers thought an anvil would add more drama. More; Total Drama!
DJ: That thing falls on me if I fib?
Geoff: Yep. So, DJ. First question.
Bridgette: Okay, I am not cool with this.
DJ: That makes two of us. I already said I'm not lying.
Geoff: DJ, wouldn't you say the way you took advantage of your teammates was completely heinous and "utterly" unforgivable?
DJ: I never meant to hurt anybody. Chef just intimidated the heck out of me!
The audience then gasps as the anvil lowers a little bit.
Bridgette: This is ridiculous! Can't we run some footage or something instead?
Geoff: "No probs." How about some never-before-seen footage of DJ's fast moves behind the scenes? While everyone else smelled like a dog park in August, you were wearing "spring fresh" duds. Chef gave you performance-enhancing vitamins and helpful dairy products while everyone else was "forced" to eat the rudest slop. You received therapeutic massages, packages from home, and beef jerky. And never once felt bad about it.
A never-seen-before confessional with DJ then turns on above them.
DJ: "Do I like winning? Hecks yeah! "I wanna do whatever it takes to keep racking up the wins!" Do I feel bad? Hm. Do I look like I feel bad?"
The audience then gasps at what they have just seen.
DJ's Mom: Mm-mm-mm.
DJ: W-Whoa, that's not fair! Don't you guys get another angle on that? " Can't you show..."
Geoff: We run the show here, man. That's how TV works. So, no can do.
Suddenly, Geoff got hit by a cabbage thrown by DJ's Mom.
Geoff: My hair!
DJ's Mom was ready to throw a tomato at Geoff.
Geoff: Fine! Run the clip!
Suddenly, Geoff got hit by a tomato thrown by DJ's Mom.
Geoff: Hey! I said okay! Makeup?! 911 on touch-up here!
Another never-seen-before confessional with DJ and Chef turns on above them.
DJ: "Do I have to, Chef?"
"Chef was ready to beat DJ with a wooden spoon."
DJ: "Okay, okay! "Do I like winning? Hecks "yeah." Um, Chef? Do I "actually" have to say "hecks?" 'Cause I don't really..."
Chef: "*Growls*"
Geoff: Come on, it'll be funny, and our producers will love it. Just once?
DJ: Sorry? "You want me to get an anvil to the head to make your producers happy?"
Geoff: So, DJ. Who'd you hate the most on the show? Lie. Lie!
Bridgette: Hey, you guys know what we have? "A great webcam question from one of DJ's loyal fans and viewers."
Geoff: "Fine, party pooper." Let's go to Gordon from London.
The big screen shows an orange-haired male chef with a chef's hat on him.
Gordon: Oi, mates.
Geoff: 'Ello, old chap!
Gordon: "I'm from London...Ontario, and I "wanna" be a chef!" I'm making DJ sandwiches, but there's some *Bleeping* stupid ingredient that I can't *Bleeping* figure out! *Bleeping*
Geoff: Huh? Guess Gordon's got a temper on him. "Got an answer for him, bro?"
Bridgette: Is there a secret ingredient? We'd all like to know.
DJ: "Well, Bridgette, that's a "tough question," because..." I don't use a recipe. "And it isn't really..."
*Anvil creaks*
DJ: *Whimpers*
Suddenly, the anvil on a rope falls, but DJ dodges just in the nick of time as the anvil crashes into his seat.
DJ: PAPRIKA! Okay? Two pinches of Hungarian paprika in the mayo! It zips the sandwich right up.
The crowd applauses again as DJ's Mom brings sandwiches for Geoff and Bridgette. Bridgette then tries one of them.
Bridgette: Mm! Fantastic!
Bridgette then offers a sandwich to Geoff.
Geoff: Oh no, no way. I'm seeing Chris' professional trainer, and she'll kill me if I'm ever in the same room as carbs.
DJ: You sure you don't want one, Geoff?
Geoff: I've also talked to some of James' friends. And they said mayo murders the pores.
Bridgette: Maybe you need to lighten up.
Geoff: "Light mayo's "actually" just as bad." "If you ask me, you should skip these little appies, too." You know what they say, a moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips.
The audience then gasps at what they just heard.
DJ: Uh-oh.
Bridgette then jumps onto Geoff with fury.
Bridgette: Oh god! Eat it! Eat it!
Geoff: Water. Water!
DJ: "Um...maybe we'll take a short break." Sandwich, anyone?
"Later..."
The show comes back on with an intern replacing the broken couch from the anvil earlier. And Bridgette finally gets a sandwich into Geoff's mouth.
Bridgette: Ha! There! How do you like that?!
Geoff: Mmm, man. "This is amazing!" Oh, you tasty carbs. Come to papa!
Geoff then starts to eat the sandwiches nonstop until he eats them all.
Bridgette: Uh, makeup! I think Geoff needs a lip gloss reapplication. And it's time to meet our second guest. But first, take a look.
Geoff: Our second guest started "out" as a fan favorite.
Bridgette: "Until things got...complicated." "Like they do when "you're" competing against or working with...your boyfriend."
Geoff: Um, what's that supposed to mean?
Bridgette: Just read the script, Geoff.
Geoff: So, uh, Gwen broke up with Trent. But that wasn't the last of the drama.
Bridgette: Gwen made a deal with James' Teammates, trading Trent to save her butt.
Geoff: Even with James voting himself off for Trent, he still got voted off.
Bridgette: Down one boyfriend, a crush, and several friends. Not long after that, Gwen followed.
The crowd then applauses again.
Bridgette: I know, right? I wish I'd still worn my Team Trent T-Shirt.
Geoff: Our next guest is claustrophobic, owns two lizards, and once drank fruit punch out of the communal john.
Bridgette: Not to mention dumping her boyfriend on national TV and breaking the heart of her crush. Gwen!
Gwen then sticks her head out as the crowd boos at her. Even Courtney was booing at her.
Gwen: Heh. All the black nail polish in the world wouldn't get me out there.
Gwen was then pushed onto the stage by Chef.
Audience Member 1: Traitor!
Audience Member 2: Go, Team James, yeah!
Gwen: Uh, hi, everyone!
Bridgette: Whoa, Gwen. It must be tough coming out to this.
Gwen: Way hard.
Geoff: Let's make it harder. Here's an interview recorded after Trent learned of your deception on our last show.
Katie: "At first, we mostly felt sorry for Trent, but now..."
Sadie: "...We love him!" We're starting a Trent fan club.
Katie: Or maybe it should be an Anti-Gwen club!
Sadie: A club for my Auntie Gwen? Hi, Auntie Gwen! "...Oh." You mean Gwen. We hate her.
Geoff: So, Katie and Sadie, got more you want to say to Gwen in person?
Katie: It's my turn, seat-hog-Sadie!
Bridgette: Uh, they look busy. So Gwen, let's talk about why you sold out such a sweet guy.
Gwen: Can't we talk about something else?
Geoff: "Would love to." "Truth" is, I'm "kind of" over this Love Triangle Business after "last episode."
Gwen: Great! What about some behind-the-scenes drama? Chris and Camera 2 guy are "having" a brutal prank war.
Geoff: Yeah. Awesome. But that's not "gonna" get us ratings. Watching you squirm over Trent is, so start spilling.
Gwen: But I thought we were friends.
Geoff: You know, I got this new gig, and I gotta say, it seriously trumps the times you and I made s' mores.
Bridgette: You "really" believe that? "You think ratings are more important than relationships?"
Geoff: You kidding me, babe? Course not. "Relationships rock...the ratings!" A little lovin' is like, number two "ratings" booster after breakups. "Which is why Gwen's "gonna" start talking."
Bridgette: Watch what you say, Gwen!
Geoff: Aw! Don't warn her! No fun.
Gwen: That thing is "gonna" fall on me?!
DJ: Only if you lie. But trust me, it happens fast.
Geoff: Nothing but the whole truth, or you might be half a Gwen. A "Gw." Or maybe an "en." *Laughs*
Bridgette: When did you get so horrible?
Geoff: Network orders. "Turns out "horrible" is great for ratings, too."
Gwen: Listen, I still like Trent. A lot. I've always liked Trent. I've got a lot of love for all of you guys.
Geoff: For anyone else? James, maybe?
Gwen then puts her hands on her face after hearing that.
Gwen: "Leshawna, a fantastic girl, great friend." And DJ, have you tried his peach cobbler? It's unreal.
DJ: Heh. You're sweet.
Gwen: Thanks. "I love Beth, and...and Lindsay."
Bridgette: I seem to remember Beth and Lindsay being pretty ticked after they found out "about" Trent throwing their team's challenges.
Gwen: "Uh...did I mention the prank war between Chris and Camera 2?" Listen, I don't think I did anything that bad. People break up every day.
Geoff: "Yeah, but the way yours went down...mega harsh." You didn't leave many friends behind in the game.
Gwen: So my whole team voted me off because I tried to sabotage my team. Duncan played with my heart!
Courtney: You leave him out of this, or do you have your goth-girl hands into him too!?
Gwen: Courtney, we're just friends! Please tell her, Trent.
Courtney: Have any more rotten veggies?
Gwen: Duncan is all about you, Courtney!
Geoff: Hate to say it, but she's right. There are no clips of you being interested in Duncan.
Gwen: Thank you.
Geoff: "But what we do have a never-seen-before clip of you almost tying the knot with James before your departure."
Gwen: "!" "You wouldn't..."
Geoff: Oh, I would. Roll the clip.
A never-seen-before scene with James and Gwen then turns on above them with James listening to Blinding Lights from The Weeknd.
Gwen: Hey James.
James: Oh. Hey, Gwen. Here to look at the stars too?
Gwen: Yeah. "...Is it just me, or does that constellation look like Harold's pancake butt?" With his spaghetti legs attached? See?
James: *Chuckles* Yeah, I see it, alright.
Gwen: "...So...Trent..."
James: *Sighs* Let's not talk about him. Karma has already punched him a lot lately. "Especially with him landing on top of that fence post."
Gwen: "Yeah...It did feel like karma was doing me a favor for what he did to my arm."
James: Oh, that reminds me, how is your arm?
Gwen: Oh! It's fine! He didn't break it or anything.
James: Well, that's good to hear.
Gwen: Say. "Do you want to...hang out sometime after this crazy show?"
James: With you?! "Um...sure."
Gwen: Really!
James: Of course.
Gwen then causes herself to fall accidentally towards James, causing them to fall onto the ground.
Gwen: *Chuckles* Sorry.
James: *Chuckles* It's alright.
Geoff: Oh yeah. I get that up close and personal with all of my friends. "Note the oh..." One-centimeter distance between their lips.
Gwen: You're "totally" twisting this! We wrestled for "like" two seconds, then went and stole everyone's underwear and flew it up the flagpole.
Geoff: Wow, you sound like a "really great" friend and teammate.
Gwen: What is with him?!
Bridgette: I think fame has gone to his perfectly quaffed head.
Geoff: *Scoffs* I'm still here, you know. And I think it's time to bring out our next surprise for Gwen!
Some interns then bring in a dunking pool filled with piranhas.
Geoff: "Time to swim with the fishes."
Bridgette: Piranhas?! Forget it!
Geoff: *Laughs* And the crew here seems totally into it. Come on, Gwen, I'll give you a boost.
Bridgette: What? There is no way this is happening!
Trent: Okay, enough! Look, I threw the game, not Gwen. It wasn't her fault.
The crowd then applauses for Trent.
Trent: Plus, everything's "awesome" now. I've met a ton of chicks.
Gwen: Trent, thank you! "Um, Trent, I'm so sorry; I didn't mean for everything..."
Trent: "It's cool."
Geoff: Uh, yeah. Not into the sucky stuff. "You wouldn't believe the fan mail this dude's getting." "Bro, getting dumped on TV "puts you" in good with the ladies, bro." Heh heh. Eh, Bridge? Ehhh, Bridge?
Bridgette: *Chuckles* Oh, don't tempt me. "We've got one more viewer on webcam." Kelsey from Kamloops has a few words for Trent and Gwen.
The big screen then shows a girl with glasses.
Kelsey: Hey, everybody! "This is my boyfriend, James!" *Pulls out James Doll*
Everyone then gasps at what they just heard and what they are looking at on the big screen. Even the peanut gallery was shocked too.
Bridgette: "Is that...?"
Geoff: *Laughs* That's awesome! What do you have to say to Kelsey from Kamloops? I think she made that doll of your old friend, Gwen!
Gwen: 😨
Kelsey: *Kisses doll five times*
Bridgette: Wow. Did she "just" kiss the doll five times? "...Okay." Thanks for sharing, Kelsey.
Kelsey: Wait! "We wrote something for the "real" James when he watches this Aftermath Episode..." "Your hair is blonde. My heart is blue. I'll stuff you with rags and sew you up too!" *Cuts off*
Geoff: Aww. "Seems we've lost Kesley." And right when her poem was getting good, too. Let's snoop through Trent's fan mail instead.
An intern then brings in a bin of fan mail for Trent.
Geoff: And that's the sixth bin this week. I only got two.
Gwen: That's Trent's fan mail?! Heh. "Hey, wow..." Guys, I thought we were talking about me.
As the intern was leaving, Izzy fell on the floor, only to reveal that it was a cutout standee the whole time.
Bridgette: "What the?!" "It's an Izzy standee?" Guess she didn't "wanna" be here.
"Suddenly, Izzy came swinging through on a...vine?" She then lands over the piranha tank.
Izzy: Uh, oh. *Chuckles* Okay. Uh-uh, little guys. Everyone wants a piece of Izzy!
She then leaps off the chair and into DJ's lap while yanking his ear.
Geoff: You've had your chance, Izzy.
Izzy: Which is why I turned this into a stealth mission! Please welcome Miss Izzy Esquire!
Bridgette: Uh, security? "Can we get security out here?"
Chef then comes onto the stage to take Izzy away.
Izzy: Ooh, a chase segment, super fun! Catch the Hurdle Queen, Esquire!
Izzy then runs away from Chef.
Izzy: Come and get it, Cheffy. Dinner's piping hot.
Izzy then jumps off the chair from earlier as Chef jumps onto it to get her.
Izzy: *Laughs*
Izzy then triggers the dunk tank as Chef "ends up" getting hurt by the piranhas, and Izzy flees the scene.
Bridgette: Maybe we'll take one last question.
Geoff: I've got a queue here from Gidget123. For Gwen! "Uh...blah blah blah." My boyfriend isn't acting like himself. He's "totally" turning into Captain Smarmy Hollywood and doesn't care about anyone except himself. "He's vain and "mean" and..." What should I do?
Gwen: That's from who?
Bridgette: Not sure who'd be asking you for "romantic advise." *Nerviousllys Laughs*
Gwen: Well, if there's anything I've learned from this, it's to be straight up. "As long as you're upfront, nothing can bite you in the butt."
As Gwen and DJ high five, Geoff got bit by one of the piranhas.
DJ: Gwen's right. Honesty would've saved my butt, too. "If you can't be honest, Bridgette..."
Bridgette: No, no! That wasn't from me!
An anvil above DJ and Gwen was about to fall. DJ pushes Gwen out of the way as the anvil falls onto the couch.
Geoff: *Laughs* Oh, yeah! Awesome! "Getting cozy with DJ now." And the anvil. Love it.
Gwen: I think that was "meant" for Bridgette.
Bridgette: Uh, and that's all for today! Join Chris and the cast next time for the most dramatically thrilling episode of Total. Drama. Action. Ever!
Geoff: Hey, Bridge?
Bridgette then grabs Geoff by the ear.
Geoff: Ahh! Oh! "Watch the..."
Bridgette: You and I need to talk, Captain Hollywood. Now!
Bridgette then drags Geoff off the stage so they can talk.
"To Be Continued..."