TW: self-harm
"Why did you leave the light on in the bathroom? Again." Bucky asked Steve with a hint of annoyance in his voice as he walked into their room.
Steve groaned, putting down the book he had been reading. "Stop nagging me for that every day, Buck. The amount of power this compound uses in a day is insane and one bathroom light won't make a difference."
"Why just waste energy when you're not in the room? We never would've-" Bucky tried, his tone sharp towards his husband. The pair had been testing each other and getting on each other's nerves all day and this was going to be the tipping point.
"Yeah, I know we wouldn't have ever done such a scandalous thing back then but it's different today. Plus, the compound is solar powered! So it doesn't even matter!" He stood up face to face with Bucky now.
"Don't you fucking yell at me." Bucky spat harshly. "You're being an asshole right now, cut it out. All I'm asking is that you turn out a light when you leave a room."
"No, you're not. What you're doing is picking a fight over something stupid! If you want to argue, let's pick a better fucking reason. Like maybe how you can't seem to ever let things go or how you come up with every excuse imaginable to avoid being near anyone besides me." He fumed, beyond annoyed and angry with Bucky in the moment.
Bucky hesitated for an instant, Steve's words stinging. He pushed the hurt away and shot right back at Steve. "Oh, I get it. Like how you can't use more than 1 brain cell at a time or how you consistently choose work over your relationship? Ooh! Or how about the way you can't get your head out of your ass long enough to learn when to back down from a fight?"
"You chew more obnoxiously than a cow." Steve fired back, the two sounding like children.
"You hog all the blankets in bed."
Steve laughed humorlessly. "That's the best you got? I hog the blankets? Hell, I deserve the blankets to sleep peacefully on the rare occasions I don't have to wake up with you in the middle of the night."
"Stop being a dick!" Bucky yelled, barely holding it together before he stormed away and slammed the door behind him. He went to the living room and paced as he tried to calm down.
After half an hour, his mind had switched from being pissed at Steve to being self-conscious and anxious about what he had said.
Does Steve really think those things about me? I'm a burden. Nothing but a pain in the ass. He'd be better off without me. He thought before the idea of cutting again crossed his mind.
He walked into the kitchen and picked up a knife, immediately putting the blade to his wrist. He began putting pressure on the knife to break his skin but, just before pushing hard enough to draw blood, he stopped.
He recalled making a promise to Steve last time he had cut; he would go to him next time instead of cutting, no matter what. But Steve wouldn't want to see him or help him right now anyway. But Bucky did promise. Steve would be upset if he cut again, and he didn't want him to be more upset now of all times.
So he hung his head and slunk off to their bedroom. The door was still shut, and locked now. He tried the knob before knocking lightly.
"Go away." Steve mumbled back from the floor, where he was sulking as he against the bed.
"I want to but I promised that next time...I wanted to...to do that... I'd ...so I, well... I know you're mad at me but...You-you know what? Never mind." He sighed before beginning to walk away. Before he got more than three feet from the door, it swung open and Steve grabbed his arm to stop him.
"Don't." He pleaded softly, the anger that was previously on his face was gone completely. "Don't do it."
Bucky looked at him and bit his lip to keep from getting too emotional. "I'm sorry."
"I'm sorry, too. I didn't mean what I said." He promised, leading him back into their room and sitting them both on the edge bed.
"None of it?" He tested, not believing what he was told.
"Not a single word."
"Not even about me waking you up all the time? Because I-I can sleep on the couch if my nightmares wake you up too often. It's-"
"Your nightmares?" His eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "I wasn't talking about your nightmares, Bucky. I'm not bringing that into an argument, you can't control that. I was talking about many the times when you can't sleep and make me wake up so we can play video games or watch movies."
"Oh." He sighed in relief and embarrassment.
"And Buck?"
"Hmm?"
"I don't mind it much, it's fun spending more time with you even if it means losing a few hours of sleep." He smiled.