The afternoon dragged on, the only action involving writing out revision slips, dropping onto the bed, dropping onto the couch, or dropping onto the bathroom floor to shed a few hidden tears. Just as he was mentally dropping into a nest of knives.
Levi had left to study in the living room after attempting to get Eren to talk, ending up just about as successful as he would have been if he had tried talking to a statue.
Eren didn't even give a second thought to Levi's possible feelings, which made him act just like his roommate had for the first few days of his stay, the same reason Eren had yelled at him for.
He was changing - but not in a good way. He who usually cared for everybody, had started becoming careless. His attachment and loyalty to Mikasa and Armin had been pushed away, buried under a mound of worries. Even his shy but joyful personality had been blocked out, replaced by a thorny shell instead.
Sighing, he threw his pen into his black pencil case, getting up once again to lie restlessly on his bed. He looked up to his alarm clock, indicating 5:19 PM. Three options were possible :
Firstly, he could get up and get back to studying, if he could pay attention to what he was supposed to be learning off.
Secondly, he could go and walk around town, or head to the park again.
Or thirdly, he could walk his careless ass downstairs and apologize to Levi - an option he immediately shoved out of his mind. He wasn't capable of facing Levi after what he had done and said - or not said, if truth be told - to him.
Rejecting each possibility, he decided to go and see Historia. Speaking to someone else was the last thing he wanted to do, but she had a calming, ever content and happy aura he told himself he needed to be near. His two best friends should have left by then if they were at her house.
※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※
Eren wandered down the streets, watching a group of kids running past him, chasing each other, giggles overflowing from their mouths curved into smiles, their cheeks shining a rosy glow. How innocent they were. Happy. Excited. Playful.
The streets were alive in the autumnal weather, passersby enjoying the last bit of warmth for that evening. The sun played hide and seek behind the clouds, a light breeze ruffling the brunette's hair. Shadows danced across his face as he stepped in and out from under the trees bordering the sidewalk.
He passed by a boy of his age, surrounded by a blonde girl, and a young man, his hair dyed blue, with defined cheekbones - he looked like a Rick - no, a Jake. The teenager in the middle was talking to the female beside him, while his left hand was stroking the other male's fingers, a smile playing on both if their faces.
They look so happy and carefree.
Eren found himself squashing a mix of unexpected envy and longing as he watched them go by.
He had never really dated anyone, just one girl last year, and another the year before, but neither relationship had lasted very long, and had never been any further than kisses. To be honest, he wasn't looking for somebody to date at the moment, and he hadn't been attracted to anyone for a while now.
Shoving his hands into his single sweater pocket, he moved downtown, towards a majority of sky blue houses. It had always seemed funny to him, the way someone built and painted a house in blue, and then someone else found it to be pretty, and followed suit. And the gears were set in motion, resulting in a painted sky on earth.
He knocked on the white door, waiting until he spotted movement behind the blurred diamond shaped window pane a short moment later.
The door opened to reveal a smiling blonde girl.
"Eren ! It's great to see you !"
"It's good to see you too Historia," greeted Eren, following her inside as she waved him in. She led him into the living room, the silence in the house indicating no one was home.
Eren sat down on a dark brown sofa, settling back into the cushions behind him.
"Do you want anything to drink ?" asked Historia.
"I'm okay, thanks though."
"Sure ?"
"Well ..."
"I'll get you something, hang on," she grinned.
The ticking from the wooden grandfather clock in the corner kept him company until she came back with two tall glasses filled with Coke for the first, and 7Up for the second. She offered him both glasses, keeping the one he didn't take for herself.
They sipped at their drinks quietly, Eren unsure of what he could possibly say to her now that he was in her presence.
"You look like you're going to burst," she remarked kindly.
He couldn't help the blush spreading across his cheeks. "Sorry."
"Don't be, there's no need to apologize. However, if you feel like it, you can talk. I promise I won't judge. But then if you don't want to, sitting down and drinking is also fine with me," she smiled reassuringly, curling into the side of the armchair made out of the same material as the sofa, tucking her legs beneath her as she leaned onto the armrest.
Eren pondered his choices, remaining silent. Historia was a good person to talk to, understanding, open, and kind. He had no trouble believing her when she said she wouldn't judge him. Only, he didn't have enough confidence to talk about it. He looked into her sincere blue eyes, ever so grateful for her patience.
"How do you do it ?" he blurted.
"Hm ?"
"How do you stay so happy all the time ?"
"I'm not always happy, but I try to be, especially for you guys. When I was younger, I would've loved to have someone be happy around me, to have a spark of light in the darkness. I didn't have that, only a mother who rejected me since I was born, then left me and my sister to fend for ourselves. That and the hate I received from the kids in primary school because I kept to myself too much. I wish I could've had someone happy around me, to brighten my days, take my mind off things. Even my sister Frieda wasn't able to be happy for me, she was so burdened by the job of taking care of me alone. My father was too busy being drunk to do anything helpful. You never know when someone might need an ounce of positivity, just something to make them smile and keep them going. Like you." Historia answered thoughtfully, slowly wrapping a golden lock around her index. "It's easier to be joyful as I tell myself I might be putting a smile on someone's face, or putting them at ease. And not to sound egotistical, but I think my assumptions are correct. I think you'd prefer I be honest with you Eren, so I will. I believe that's one of the reasons - perhaps the main reason - you came to me, and not your best friends," she pointed out gently, hitting the nail on the head.
"I - "
"I see that guilty look on your face. Wipe it off, you have no reason to feel that way. I'm sorry you feel you can't talk to your best friends, but I'm glad I can be a friend you can lean on too. I promise I won't talk about your visit here if you don't want it to be heard by Mikasa and Armin. I'm guessing you feel bad about that too." She padded over to Eren, seating herself beside him.
Eren sighed heavily, feeling like Historia had read him like an open book. Which he was thankful for in a way. He needed to speak, but he wasn't good at expressing his emotions, instead he bottled up his feelings, so it felt relieving to have Historia lay out how he felt, no matter how awkward he was.
"Yeah, you're right about it all. I ... I mean ... I ... thank you.
The cuckoo popping out of the clock pulled Eren from his tumultuous thoughts. "Is that the time ? I should probably head home soon ... I want to help Mom with dinner."
"Of course, don't let me keep you," nodded Historia, rising from her seat.
"Thank you so much Riri," he mumbled, burying his face into her shoulder.
Her face softened as she hugged him. "No one had used that nickname in a long time. I'm happy it's you who has. You deserve to be happier, and whatever I can do for you, I will. Don't hesitate to come back, I'll be here to welcome you with open arms."
A silver 4x4 pulled up in the driveway, Historia's father at the wheel. A few moments later they heard the door opening.
"Historia, I'm home !"
"Hello father," Historia called back. She walked out to the hallway, Eren on her heels. "Eren was just about to leave. Are -" She pulled out her phone, interrupted by it blasting "Diamonds" by Rihanna. "Hold on, Freida is calling me. It was great talking to you Eren, and I'll see you soon ! Don't give up !" She waved at him, smiling, before climbing up the stairs, heading into her room.
"Nice to see you Eren."
"Nice to see you too sir," Eren responded hesitantly. "Well, uh ... I'll be on my way now."
"Very well, goodbye young man," he nodded, picking up the overflowing shopping bags he had placed near his feet when he came in, a packet of pasta falling over the top. Eren quickly bent down to pick it up, placing it on top of a bag of red potatoes.
Historia's father wasn't drunk any more, having stepped up to assume his role as a father when Frieda harshly but rightfully scolded him before she left to study abroad. His hair was clean and cut, instead of the wild and unkempt head of hair he had been sporting during his drinking days, no grime covering his skin, but especially no wild look in his eyes, now subdued and calmer instead.
Eren was glad Historia had a decent and proper father now, even if it was just for a couple years before she left for college.
He caught her eye as he walked away from her house, waving back to her waving shape leaning against the window pane of her room.
"Thank you" he mouthed, hoping she would see it from that distance. It seemed she did, as she flashed him a quick thumbs up.
Back home I go.
※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※
Friday slipped along, as everyone waited for the clock to finally hit the twelve mark, and end the torture that was Geography. Finally, they were able to exit the stuffy classroom, not an ounce of fresh air had been permitted to enter for the whole hour, since the teacher refused to open the windows because he had "a severe and weakening cold".
Taking a deep breath of fresh air as he stepped out of the main building, he followed his friends over to a van provided by Armin's grandfather, Jean taking the wheel, Hanji yelling "SHOTGUN" at the top of their lungs, causing Eren's mouth to quirk upwards as they turned around to grin at him. Glancing back up, he watched the group around him interact with terrible jokes and recounting of events. They all seemed to get along greatly, and no one was left to the side.
Well, apart from Eren. But that was .... willingly done ? He wasn't sure that was the truth, however when his glance drifted over Levi's pointed stare, he busied himself with the task of texting meaningless words to the first contact he found - without pressing send. It was a very effective technique, quite useful.
He watched the gradually heavier splattering of rain trickle down the window behind Marco's dark brown head of hair as the van drove towards Mikasa's house, water rhythmically tip-tapping the roof of the vehicule.
It parked in front of the two-storey house with a screech, causing an outpouring of playful jeers at Jean's bad quality driving. Filing in through the front door, after being sternly ordered to remove their "sopping wet shoes and coats or else you're doing the cleaning up after tonight" by Mikasa, they spread out in the living room, each grabbing a pack of beer and some a bottle of liquor.
Music was turned on, blasting through a giant Bluetooth speaker in the corner of the room, bottles opened, drunkenness settling in.
Eren downed three beers, judging it necessary to cross the night without feeling bad and fight the pounding headache growing in his skull. Not that he had ever really drank alcohol, because the first time he had more than two bottles, he ended up throwing up on someone's new and no longer fresh smelling leather couch, before passing out on top of Armin, something he had made promise to Mikasa and Armin to never tell anyone, and also to stop him of he was ever going to make the same mistake again. Probably the reason why he had made sure to chug the beers discreetly and as quick as he could. Also probably why Mikasa never left his side after his third drink, hovering near his drunk lightweight self as he moved from group to group, weaving between the numerous bodies gathered in the house, friends invited by friends who invited their friends who invited their own, who brought along theirs.
※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※
"No Eren, give the bottle back ! You're not a child," glowered the raven, forcefully pulling the bottle out of his hands, hiding it behind her back as he pouted at her, crossing his arms childishly. A hiccup crossed him, sending him into a fit of giggles, earning him a glare from Mikasa.
"B- hic - but I want my drinkkkkk !! Give it backkk," he whined, making wobbly grabbing motions with his hands.
Mikasa sighed, tossing the bottle over to Petra, who was watching them with an amused twinkle in her eyes.
"Truth or Dare !" hollered Hanji, drawing everyone over to him and Historia. Eren bounded over to them, tugging Mikasa behind him, grinning widely as he plopped himself in between Historia and a disgruntled Levi.
"You reek of alcohol," grimaced the raven. "Just how many bottles did you drink ?"
"One or two," giggled Eren. "Or three. I said four. No no no no but Mikaaa wouldn't give me morrre," complained Eren, slurring his words.
Mikasa leaned over to Levi, where she was sitting cross-legged next to him, as close to Eren as she could get since he had looped his arm into Historia's, his brunette head bouncing off Levi's shoulder as the raven repeatedly whacked his shoulder upwards to dislodge the drunk teenager. "When I found him, he was drinking his third beer - or so he says. He had another two, so he drank at least four or five, and he's a lightweight. I don't know how he's not passed out on the floor by now, as a few people are, but what I do know is that you'll have a job lugging this idiot back to the house." She couldn't help the fond gaze she placed on the brunette who was tugging on a furious raven's black hair, singing softly "pre-tty, pre-tty, soft - and silky". "You probably feel like slapping him right now, or giving out a couple of your favorite insults, but please, just let him be for tonight."
Levi cocked his head to the side - before it got tugged back by Eren's hand - finally giving a curt nod. "Fine. I'll allow the kid to mess with me - EREN LET GO OF MY SHIRT - just because I respect you Mikasa. My shirt EREN," he seethed, commanding the brunette to let go of his clothing under Mikasa's now amused watch. "He's like a fucking toddler, only ten fucking times worse."
"Yup."
They turned their attention back to the game, where the game was slowly inching towards the plan to dare Jean to make out with Marco once they had gotten into the game. After some terrible dares, and revealing truths, Jean dared sweet and non drinker Historia to down two shots of vodka, which she did with a grimace at the strong taste. Moving a wicked smile to Jean, she dared him to kiss Marco.
"French kiss !" she added.
Marco veered a deep shade of red, as Jean shot a murderous glare at Historia, then at the circle of teenagers as they all chanted "KISS, KISS, KISS".
Jean turned towards Marco, sitting at his side, nervously nearing his head towards the fiercely blushing boy. "D-do you mind ?" He glared at himself because of his stutter.
Marco shook his head vigorously - a little too vigorously, seen as he looked like he was going to spin his head off with the speed - eyes widening as Jean approached his face to Marco's.
Everyone quieted down before erupting into whoops when the two boys started deepening the kiss.
Eren whooped happily at the sweet moment, even louder when the message was shouted out that Marco said I like you and Jean had said the same. Hanji stood up, squatting down behind the two lovebirds nestling into each other.
"The bedrooms are upstairs, first door on your right, then the two further down, and another on at the back left if you turn left," they grinned evilly.
"Hanji !!"
"Some might be occupied but that's all right !"
Mikasa shot up, racing up the stairs, to find that Hanji was speaking the truth.
Jean and Marco kissing led into a dare going around the circle that you had to make out with the person on your right. Whoever didn't had to leave the house after drinking shots, which no one wanted to do since it was barely one in the morning, and most people had planned to crash there because they had no way of getting home because they weren't sober.
Eren burst into peals of laughter when he saw that Levi had to make out with Erwin. "You have to kiss - hic - Caterpillar Eyebroowwss hihihihaaaaaa !"
Levi kneed him in his leg. "You are such a fucking - "
"Mikasa said don't be mean. So don't be mean," grumbled Eren, sticking out his lower lip, as he executed a perfect puppy eyed look.
"I didn't realize you were sober enough to understand. You're a shit ton more smiley and giggly and annoying and a fucking pain in the ass when you're drunk, you know that ?"
Eren hummed gleefully, knocking his back onto Levi's lap, only to be pushed roughly back into place, before he let himself fall back down under Levi's killer eyes. "Yep,yes,yeah,uhuhhhh,yaaa, yesh,yes," Eren mumbled proudly.
"Ohh for fuck's sake. This night is going to be hell."
Hanji returned to their spot just in time to be caught in the dare. Annaëlle was dared to kiss Hanji, which she did without hesitation, enjoying the fun of the dare, playfulness wafting from her happy self. Hanji clapped enthusiastically at her skills, moving onto the blonde girl beside them.
They laughed, kissing Historia full on, before they pulled away, leaving Historia chuckling. "A once off, sorry, but good job Hanji."
"Why merci ma chérie," they bowed as much as they could over their crossed legs.
Historia turned to Eren, taking in his over the moon state. "Someone let themselves go. Anyway, you ready ?"
"Yes !" stated Eren, a little more passionately than he intended. He pulled Historia closer, releasing Levi's sleeve he had somehow decided was his lifeline. "You taste like strawberries."
"Thanks," she smiled. "You're up now Eren. I dare you to make out with the person on your right."
Eren twisted to his right, eyes locking with the raven's ice ones. Even in his drunken state, the power and menace held in Levi's eyes was enough to turn him off the dare. But he didn't want to leave, and when an unidentified voice - obviously Hanji's - yelled at them to keep the round going, backed up by other voices chiming in about holding the game up, he finally decided he had to do it. He grabbed another beer stashed in the jacket balled behind him that he had stolen from the floor, taking long swigs of it, rapidly draining the bottle.
"Ah shit," swore Levi, coming to the conclusion that Eren would soon be passed out cold, and he would have to bring him back to his house.
"Kiss kiss," bubbled Eren joyfully, taken by another wave of bliss and ignorance that accompanied the strong and foul taste of his drink. He pulled Levi closer to him, snaking an arm around the back of his head, another cupping his cold cheek that gained a faint hint of heat, as Eren watched a light blush spreading across Levi's cheeks, that he tried to hold back. He quickly pressed his lips against Levi's smooth and soft ones, pulling away rapidly.
"Boo!" yelled a voice. "We want hot and sexy, or you're out !"
Levi swept his murderous gaze across the room, quieting a few people, but many were past the point of even seeing straight as they continued to cheer Eren and Levi on.
"Leviiiii, I don't wanna be - b - hic - be embarrassssed," pleaded Eren, hiccuping as a tearful expression crept onto his face.
"No."
"Leviii."
"Fuck no."
"KISS !" scolded Hanji.
"You're supposed to back me up," growled Levi.
"Scary Lee please kiss me."
Levi turned back to meet the turquoise sea colored eyes, plunging into their depths. "Fine ..." he whispered so quietly Eren almost missed it as he rocked back and forth like a child, with his pouty lip and giant green eyes. "But make it quick," he added, voice hardening.
"M'kay Leelee the shortie !"
"EREN," thundered Levi, a living black cloud, ready to electrocute Eren and murder him.
"Aanytime now guys," said Hanji, feigning absolute boredom.
Swiftly, Levi smashed his lips into Eren's, melding into the surprised brunette's mouth. He slid his tongue into Eren's mouth, playing then fighting with Eren's tongue as the drunken boy instinctively fought back. As far as his dazed mind could remember, he hadn't ever properly kissed someone like that. It felt weird.
But Levi tasted nice, like lemon mixed with some sort of a plant. Eren thought wonderingly why he was tracing Levi's lips, sucking the taste off them. Was he ice cream ? He tasted good enough.
Eren looked back into the raven's eyes, wondering why they seemed to flash with something. Then his ice cream man pulled away from him, stiffening, leaving only the lingering taste of his mouth behind.
"My ice cream," whimpered Eren miserably, licking his lips to get the taste into his mouth again.
Levi glanced at him, a puzzled expression breaking through his annoyed face until it vanished back to usual, to the stone cold face. He turned his back to the brunette, moving onto Erwin for the dare.
"But you were yummy ..."
※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※
"So Marco and Jean have a room to themselves now I saw."
"I do not want to know what will happen in that room !"
"Aw Armin, so innocent," cooed Mikasa.
"Hey ! But speaking of innocent, it's funny how Eren becomes such a childish person when he's drunk," remarked Armin as he watched Eren droopily play with Mikasa's hair on the couch beside him. Eren paid him no notice, deciding to jump up and dance. Mikasa rose from her seat, announcing she was going to go fetch Levi to get him to take Eren into his room at his house, because Eren was getting greener by the minute, and there was no place for Eren to crash comfortably at her house. Besides, his own place was two feet away, so it wasn't a huge walking distance.
She returned with Levi in tow, just as Eren tottered towards them, hair plasters to his pale and sweaty forehead, swaying heavily. "I feel sock. Sick. Rhymes with dick," he announced, before throwing up on Armin's faded grey shirt and himself.
"Jeez Eren," the blonde groaned, getting up to clean off the mess, pulling Eren's t-shirt over his head as best he could without getting puke onto Eren's hair.
"Oopsie daisy."
"Good luck Levi, I've gotta go and make sure those two people don't start doing it on my kitchen floor," Mikasa huffed, heading towards the two people who had begun stripping under the eyes of the partygoers nearby.
"Yeah, good luck Levi," smiled Armin guilty, edging away from them towards the bathroom.
Eren felt himself being picked up like a princess, held up by a pair of strong arms, pulling him close against a firm and warm chest. "My knight in shining armor," he mumbled incoherently. A wave of dizziness overtook him, as he heard a door open, making him retch.
"Don't you dare throw up on me brat."
"Nom nom nom nom."
"The fuck ..."
"Sing song ding dong."
"For fuck's sake ..."
"Sing dong dong dong."
A short burst of hot air blew into his face from the head above him, followed by a gust of cold air onto his body, now shirtless, as Levi carried him into the open air. Eren shivered, pulling onto the cloth holding the warmth so that he would get the heat. He pressed himself against what felt like a hot wall , nuzzling his face into a softer thing. He poked it with his finger, before moving upwards and poking a smooth marshmallow that ended by a hard stick surrounding it.
"Squishy," he commented.
"Leave my neck, jaw and cheek alone."
"Boing boing," mumbled Eren, imitating the sound of a trampoline like he did when he was five, bouncing his finger onto what was beside his cheek. His knight had called it a neck. Eren decided he liked necks.
"What's youuuurr name kniigh-tt ?"
"Cut it out brat."
"Mmmmmm," grumbled Eren, shaking his head as he shoved his face deeper into the warmth.
"Seriously ? You've got to be fucking kidding me."
A warmer breeze came to caress Eren's chest, as he felt himself being carried up what sounded like stairs, then put into a cold bowl, away from the warmth.
"Heyyy !"
"Take off your clothes and clean yourself, I don't want to smell the dreadful odor coming from you tonight. I'll fetch Aspirin and water."
"Knight ?" Eren called out. He crossed his arms grumpily when he didn't receive an answer. Why isn't Knight there ?
He heard footsteps approaching, Levi's body appearing between the door frame, carrying a glass of water and a small, thin cardboard box.
"Why aren't you cleaning yourself up ?"
"Kniiight."
"I'm not washing you !" protested Levi.
"Kniiight !"
"Fuck you."
※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※
After Eren felt warm palms rub his skin with hot water and long deft fingers scrub his head with the white fluffy stuff that made him giggle, and much scolding from his not very tall Knight for not keeping still, he got toweled off, and put into nice warm sweatpants.
He got gently dropped onto what felt like a bouncy castle with a soft cloud under his head and over his body, childish and joyful noises pouring from his overexcited mouth, as he felt the cloud being placed comfortably over him, something brushing his chestnut locks out of his eyes, stroking his head, as Eren hummed contentedly.
"Knight."
"Goodnight Eren." A long pause. "Sleep well, and I -"
Eren's eyes closed on their own, and he fell into a deep black hole, the voice fading away.
"Mmnuff," Eren grunted, rolling over the bed, falling onto a thinner bouncy castle. He slipped under the fluffy cloud, definitely warmer than the cloud he was under previously. And there was a warm thing beside him, that he wrapped his arms around, head falling downwards onto a silky-soft cinnamon and apple smelling wonderland.
I'll edit this when I wake up, or in a day or two, it's currently 4:30 AM and I'm too tired to focus anymore.
PS : I tried to do some of the descriptions at the end from Eren's point of view, being drunk and all that. It's mixed with regular descriptions too, so tell me if it's not really understandable, or bad, and I'll change it.
Thanks for reading !
- Val