Misery loves company
Chapter 5: I keep coming back to you
Hey guys :) I just wanted to give a huge thank you to 4 people (I hope you know who you are) who actually kept me motivated for this chapter. You have no idea how much your love for my story keeps me going and I just want to thank you.
Also this is in Sheldon's pov but I still say Mary instead of him saying my mother the whole time so yeah.
This chapter is going to be sad and interesting so I hope you enjoy it.
Ps: This story is quite sensitive for certain people but this chapter isn't as sensitive.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Your memory feels like home to me. So whenever my mind wanders, it always finds it's way back to you." - Ranata Suzuki
-----------------------------------------------------------
Sheldon's pov:
I woke up aware of my surroundings now. I was sitting in the corner of the comic book store with a open comic book opened on my lap. I was so confused. I couldn't remember how I got here. All I remembered last was the blinding bright white lights. I could faintly hear the ambulance siren which sent chills down my spine but thought it must have been a nightmare which I felt relieved for.
I got up to dust myself off but realized no one was in the store. It was quiet. I searched around everywhere in the comic book store for anyone but no one was there. I could hear faint voices like it was so far in the distance now.
"I will leave you be and come to check on him later." a voice I didn't recognize said.
I then somehow saw everyone right in front of me except they weren't in the comic book store . It was kind of like I was watching them through a television screen except it was much bigger. All of them were crying and sad.I couldn't understand why they all looked so sad.
Then I felt my heart shatter before me as I saw Amy leaning her head on my mother's shoulder. I looked at the hand that she was so dearly holding to life like it was the only thing that supported her. I could feel my hand tingle a little now.I looked next to them now to realize what all the fuss was about . I felt like I couldn't breathe or move now.
There I saw my lifeless body lying there while everyone just sat there. I didn't know how I was here and there. I couldn't begin to grasp the concept of anything. I just wanted to go back to them . To be there with them again.
I found myself mumbling,"It wasn't a dream. " .
I looked around me and ran to the door to try run out but I couldn't leave. I was stuck there in the one place that was my home away from home but it didn't feel like it anymore. I crawled up in a ball and cried.
-----------------------------------------------------------
I just started pacing around watching the sort of television screen after feeling exhausted of finding absolutely nothing . There was no way of going back.
"Daddy ! Look I'm the flash ." Little Leo said trying to run fast in his little flash costume.
"Is my little boy a superhero ?" Sheldon said laughing .
Leo just nodded then carried on trying to run fast. Sheldon caught him and placed him on his lap.
"You are very fast but I'm faster ." Sheldon said with a smile as he kissed Leo's cheek that made him giggle endlessly.
"Daddy ? Are you a superhero ?" Leo asked.
"I wish but no I am not. "Sheldon said pretending to be disappointed.
"Well you are my superhero." Amy said as she opened the door with a smile.
Sheldon smiled as Amy went to sit next to him after placing all her things down.
"you are my superhero too daddy." Leo said with a smile as he was also trying to say hello to his mom.
Sheldon gave Leo a smile and hugged him so tight.
" Well then how about i fly my little superhero around the house ?" Sheldon asked then Leo's face grew huge with a smile.
Leo jumped on Sheldon's back and opened his arms open like the wings of an airplane. Sheldon got up slowly then tried to bend down just a little to give Amy a kiss before he very briskly walked around the house as Leo laughed even more.After some time Sheldon put him down then Leo ran to Amy very excited.
" Did you see that mommy ? Daddy flew me around the house." Leo said while trying to get up on the couch.
Amy picked him up and placed him next to her before saying," I see that sweetie. Did you have fun ? " .
Sheldon sat next to both of them just realising how grateful he was for both of them. He loved them both so much and he took a mental picture so it will last longer.
I watched the memory before me like it went back in time. I didn't understand what was going on but tears now filled my eyes because of the memory that played.
The picture moved on. I now watched everyone leave the white hospital room. Amy was still holding onto my hand and kissed me on the forehead after tracing her finger on my cheek. It seemed to make my skin tingle when I was aware she was touching me.
"Without you I would be attached to another object by an inclined plane wrapped helically on an axis. So please don't go . We need you. I ...I need you. I love you." she said in a whisper as she felt the tears stroll down her face once again .
She could barely talk without sobbing. She left the room slowly and now there was no one there. I was all alone now like I was in the comic book store.
My mother,Penny and Leonard,Amy and Leonard and Emily walked into the house. They all looked so tired and sad . Amy was in and out with her responses.No one really talked and the kids knew something was up but they didn't say anything.
I watched them all say goodnight to the kids. I cried watching my mother so upset. I couldn't remember her cry like that since my father and meemaw. I felt a heavy heart now remembering my meemaw.
I couldn't take watching them all in pain. I didn't understand fully what was going on and I couldn't fathom it. I felt a little relieved when the picture moved once again to the cold and dark hospital room I was in. The light filled the room so fast then a guy in a lab coat came in the room .
I recognized that voice it was the voice I heard earlier on . He must be the doctor that spoke to them.The doctor walked around checking things out then writing it down.
The doctor sighed about to leave then stopped in his tracks before leaving,"Dr Cooper,I don't know you so I don't know why I'm doing this but your family needs you. I don't think they will be able to get through this if you leave so hang on a little for them. ".
The doctor then left and I was surrounded by darkness again.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Eventually after what felt like hours after watching myself all alone the picture finally moved. I felt sick to my stomach watching myself lie there like that. So defenceless,weak and vunerable.
It was led back to my house again. Leonard was on the couch reading not even bothered by anything. He did look a little worried though so I moved my head in the direction Leonard kept glancing at. Penny was downing one drink after the next like the alcohol had no effect on her.
My mother came to take it away so that was good. Leonard seemed relieved but he still didn't really look sad or anything. I felt a little hurt now. It felt like he didn't care about what was going on. Why wouldn't he? I didn't understand. I wanted to scream in frustration because I just didn't understand anything anymore.
I got so upset and before I could react some time later the picture moved and it was in our bedroom. Amy was there now and covered herself with the blanket. She switched off the lamp before resting her head.
"Goodnight Sheldon."Amy whispered so softly to an empty room.
I sat down resting my back on the wall before replying,"Good night Amy."
-----------------------------------------------------------
I slowly woke up with me hugging my knees and my head in my knees. There were countless comic books I tried to read to get myself to sleep but they didn't help much. My eyes felt puffy. I woke up to the same cold room in the picture but this time it was brighter.
The sun was shining so it must be the next day. Amy was there and so was Penny,and Mary but Leonard was no where to be seen. Bernadette,Rajesh,Howard and even Stuart was there also. They did the same thing they did the day before that. They sat in a room waiting,hoping for something that wasn't in their control.
Today was different though,I could feel it. It was almost like a part of me felt sort of emotionless and I couldn't quite explain it. I couldn't explain it but I saw Amy,she was like lifeless as if she wasn't herself anymore. That was the feeling I could feel now like I was feeling what she was feeling. She hardly moved or said anything. Everyone had to constantly make sure she ate which she always refused until they played the baby card. Then she would take it and almost force herself to eat.
Mary constantly came in and out. If she wasn't in the room then she was in church. It was just sad to see and I didn't want to see it anymore. A phone in the room rang and Penny answered, it was Leonard.
"Hey honey. Where are you ? I thought you would be here right now ." Penny said .
Penny just looked disappointed at his response then hardly talked full sentences before saying goodbye. Everyone looked at her wondering the same thing I was.
"Leonard is at work. He is packed with work and can't come. He said he will try to pop by maybe tonight or tomorrow." Penny said but she was hiding something.
"Im going to get a drink. " Penny said then got up.
" It is still 11am Penny ."Bernadette said concerned.
"Yeah i know and Im not surviving the day without a drink.You know where to find me when something changes." Penny said almost bitter.
Raj sighed before saying,"I will go make sure she is okay." .
Raj ran after her as Wil came in now.
Everyone said hello as Wil apologized for what happened like it was his fault but so many others did it so they were used to it. Amy gave out a small hello before going back to wherever she was in her head.
This was all they could do . I tried to talk to Amy. I yelled and shouted but she couldn't hear me. I wanted to see her beautiful smile again but she wasn't herself anymore. I hated that I did this to her. I saw her every now and then hold her stomach and give a little squeeze to my hand while doing so which only made me wish I was there more.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Days went by and the same pattern was done. Some started going back to work now and coming on their lunch breaks then after work. Leonard would make excuses not to come as always and, Amy and Mary were there every day from morning to night unless they spent half the day with Leo. They tried to still act like nothing was wrong but Leo was really smart and knew something was wrong but he was to scared to find out.
There would be flowers, chocolates, cards and so on sent to the house with everyone sending their prayers.
Today was the first day in a while that Leonard visited the hospital along with everyone else. Everyone was in the room now. Leonard clearly ran out of excuses.
Mary finally filled the silence,"I'm going to church now i will be back soon. " .
"Wait Mary" Amy then said so softly while grabbing her hand to stop her.
"Umm I know that umm none of us is religious but would you umm like to send your prayers umm here ? Where Sheldon is ? Would that be important for you ? " Amy said barely able to keep eye contact.
"Yes I would actually if you guys don't mind. Thank you Amy. If you guys would like to join in then you are more than welcome to ." Mary said with more tears in her eyes then gave Amy a small smile.
Amy let go of my hand so my mother could hold it then she started praying. Amy stood up to hold Mary's hand and closed her eyes. Amy didn't pray with or anything but she closed her eyes in silence. Slowly everyone did the same until the last hand held my hand on the other side. They all closed their eyes and didn't say anything. None of them were religious but they didn't want Mary to feel alone and they wanted even if it was for a second believe in whatever she did.
They wanted to believe that something could happen to make me fight a little longer.
I just watched all of them doing this for me. Believing in something completely irrational to me. They did it for my mother to and you could see she tried to keep back a tear or two when she opened her eyes. They stood in silence a little longer all holding hands around my bed before separating then taking a seat again.
My mother then whispered under her breath to me still standing there holding my hand,"Shelly,you made quite a family here didn't you ?" .
She kissed my forehead then sat back down. It was her phone's turn to start ringing. It was Missy or Georgie . I could tell because she had that same look when she called them to tell them but she didn't tell them everything. I know she didn't which only made me more sad that my mother couldn't bring herself to do it. Mary quietly left the room.
Amy got a chill down her spine everytime she heard a phone I could see the fear in her eyes.
-----------------------------------------------------------
I had nothing better to do than watch everyone. I felt completely useless and hopeless watching them all. I couldn't bear it anymore. It was bittersweet because I loved that I could see them but I hated not being able to comfort them meanwhile I was the one that hurt them.
" So you are telling me that I will find the sex of my baby by popping this balloon?" Sheldon said holding this massive balloon.
"Yes!" everyone exclaimed loudly.
"I don't understand why we have to do it like this. Why doesn't Penny just tell us? " Sheldon said looking at Amy now.
"Because Sheldon it is supposed to be fun. It is a way to celebrate this with everyone else." Amy said giving a small smile.
"I still don't understand . It is our baby ?"
"Hey we are a part of your child's life to. So why don't you pop the balloon so we can all find out ." Penny yelled .
" You already know though. You did this whole baby shower " Sheldon said .
"Oh my gosh Sheldon just freaking pop the balloon already please. " Howard said .
"Please Sheldon. We want to know if it is a girl or boy." Rajesh said .
" It doesn't matter though because I will love it either way. " Sheldon said
"Aww Sheldon that is the cutest thing ever now pop the balloon before I do it myself." Bernadette said in a sweet but aggressive manner.
"Okay okay fine. Amy you ready ?" Sheldon said looking at her.
Amy nodded as they both held the balloon then everyone counted down. Everyone heard a big pop and blue smoke filled everywhere which was followed by cheering.
"We are having a baby boy." Amy said almost crying as she looked at Sheldon.
"We are going to be having a boy. I'm going to have a son." Sheldon said then hugged Amy tightly.
They gave a kiss before he now saw Penny. He ran to hug her and she almost fell back in surprise.
"Thank you for all of this." Sheldon said.
"Aww sweetie you are so very welcome . " Penny said hugging him back.
Sheldon broke the hug to only hug Amy once again.
" I love you Amy." Sheldon whispered in her ear as they hugged.
"I love you to Sheldon." Amy whispered back.
Eventually Amy looked at Sheldon to realize he had tears in his eyes.
"Are you crying Sheldon ?" Amy said wiping his tears.
"Oh my gosh he isn't a robot anymore . This is the part of the movie where he turns into a real boy." Howard said jokingly as Bernadette slapped him .
" Let's have a group hug ." Rajesh shouted out .
Everyone yelled no except for Amy.
"Can we please ? " Amy asked nicely .
Everyone looked at the pregnant lady and then gave in. They all joined in besides Sheldon.
"Come on Sheldon" Leonard said .
"No I'm okay thanks." Sheldon said shaking his head .
"Come on don't pretend to be a robot now ." Penny said .
"Please Sheldon." Amy begged .
Sheldon sighed then joined in. They all enjoyed the rest of the day talking and hanging out as normal. Sheldon kept trying to remind himself that he was having a boy . It all didn't feel real.
He watched Amy talking to Bernadette and Penny and he couldn't believe how lucky he was to have married her .
I was brought back to the same dull hospital room again.
I wished I could say or do something so they would hear me but they couldn't no matter how much I tried. I got so frustrated I kicked objects around and threw things . I was just so angry,tired and confused.
"Now I know you have my temper but it don't mean you got to take it out on the comic book store." a Texan voice I haven't heard in so long said.
"Dad ?"
to be continued...
-----------------------------------------------------------
You guys probably knew the plot twist that was coming but I was really happy with the way I ended it. Sheldon's pov on the 'other side' will be confusing a little to follow on to but I'm sure you will understand. Anyway thank you so much for reading and I can't wait to see you in the next chapter.
Thank you so much for all the reviews and love on this story once again.