You're not quite sure what you expected when Anakin told you he would be your 'bodyguard' for the next couple days. Previously, you had imagined yourself running off and getting into trouble and him being all worried and protective as he chased after you. But that's certainly not what was happening now, especially with you being sick in bed and barely able to go 4 hours without puking your guts up.
The whole day consisted of you falling in and out of consciousness, Anakin sitting on the chair by your bedside and reading something on a datapad, and getting up to refill your water occasionally.
The only times you would get up were to 1) pee, 2) throw up, in which case you made sure to lock the bathroom really loud so he couldn't follow you inside, or 3) test to see how weak your muscles were doing or if you were getting any better.
You were.
Slowly but surely, as the sun was setting on the day before your deployment, you weren't throwing up anymore and you could stomach a little bit of food. Your legs were still shaky and you had to move slow, but you could walk around a little bit. You didn't care how shit you felt, as long as you could function well enough for your first mission on the battlefield in the coming days.
You were getting ready to brave another sleepless night, squishing your pillows into a more comfortable consistency and sneaking another glance at Anakin, who had only offered the bare minimum curt responses or questions since the awkward reveal that you knew his secret. He still looked bothered, but not pissed like you'd originally thought. More of a quiet, brooding face that was disguised by his excuse of "needing to go over battle formations" so that you didn't have to talk.
That silence was interrupted by a sharp, quick knock.
Your eyes met each other across the room, both silently asking if the other was expecting someone, but you just shook your head. Anakin moved to the door first, fingers pausing on the handle.
"It's Sabè," he looked at you hesitantly. Your body froze. "Should I let her in?"
Your first thought was no. Obviously not. You weren't expecting to hear from any of the girls ever again, much less Sabè. What could she, out of all of them, possibly want?
She was always a little quieter than the rest, polite like Padmè but quick to jump into any arguments or debates when she felt passionate enough. Still, she acted like she was only friends with everyone because Padmè was, and her little lap-dog act only became more apparent as you had been mulling your relationship with each of them over in your brain these past couple weeks.
That being said, you and Sabè had never been the closest, but you enjoyed the nice, calm, and quiet moments in her presence. And although you spoke the least frequently out of all the girls, she was the first one who inquired about your life on Noxella, and the one who promised a genuine friendship right after. She was so welcoming and made you feel so accepted in the group, which was why the fact that she was the one who acted like she didn't know you that day in the Temple hurt you so damn bad.
But... like you said. Sabè was Padmè's little lapdog, and she was taking a risk by coming here to see you. Whatever it was she had to say, you were definitely intrigued.
"You can open the door," you told Anakin. Reading your words carefully, he pulled the handle but stepped in the way so that Sabè couldn't enter. You remained by the bed as she was revealed to you, her shorter frame looking up at Anakin, taken aback for a moment before finding you under his arm.
"Good evening, Master Skywalker. I'm here to talk to Y/n."
Simple and straightforward, as expected.
"Why?" Anakin asked, much less formally.
"With all due respect, it's none of your concern."
"It is, actually," you watched the back of his head tilt to the side, almost condescendingly. "Y/n is under my protection for the next 12 hours, so whatever business you have with her is also mine."
Sabè's face twisted in annoyance. She glared at Anakin and then her eyes shot to you, softening. "Y/n, please. Can we talk alone?"
Those damn brown eyes, so much like that of a doe. You had thought she was so sweet once...
"So now you want to talk to me?" You ask, masking the deeper question. Why should I?
The politician tapped her foot on the carpet, nervously or impatiently you couldn't tell. Her eyes kept flitting around the room, then into the hallway, then back to you. So she was nervous— Padmè definitely didn't know she was here, meaning whatever she had to say was really important.
"I want to explain," she said, voice getting quieter at the end. "You deserve to know."
Holding her stare for a moment longer, you decided that she was being sincere. You approached the door and crossed your arms over your chest, still keeping your distance with Anakin between you two.
"Where would we go?"
"I have my speeder. We can go for a ride." You visibly brightened— She remembered that was one of your favorite things to do.
"No. You'll stay here," Anakin's tone left no room for debate, immediately dashing your hopes and pissing you off.
"Why? I think a ride sound fine."
"You're under my watch, so I get to decide."
"No, you're at my service, so I get to decide."
"It's storming outside, Y/n, you shouldn't be driving out there in these conditions. Plus, you're still sick."
"I'll be sitting down," you argued. "And it's just a little bit of snow, it won't hurt us."
"It's not the snow I'm worried about," your eyes flick to Sabè, who's watching you patiently. But she's not the threat— none of the girls are. Anakin said so himself.
"I'll be fine for a couple of hours," you insist.
"I'm not willing to take that chance!"
"Well, I am!".
"Y/n," the sound of your name on his lips wasn't soft or warm like it usually was. Neither were his eyes on your face. If he wasn't mad at you before, he was now. "Don't make me discipline you before our mission even begins."
Those words stung. When you had thought of Anakin as being your boss, you'd thought of it in a fun way where you got to work with a friend. You hadn't really considered that he would be in charge of punishments and penalties, much less actually use them, especially against you.
"You want to punish me for going on a drive?"
"For undermining my authority."
"Your authority? Anakin, we're not on the battlefield yet!"
"I'm supposed to be looking out for you," the hand gripping the doorframe tightened. "Now please, take my advice and either stay here to talk, or tell her to leave."
No matter how bad you wanted to cave under the pressure of Anakin being mad at you, there was something hot and itchy blooming in your chest. It was one of the worst traits you'd picked up from being bossed around your entire life— stubbornness.
"I'm choosing to follow my own advice and go with Sabè. We'll only be a couple hours, and she's a perfectly safe driver, so you have nothing to worry about."
You ducked under his arm as you said this, expecting him to reach out and pull you back into the room. He didn't. Instead, the hard angles of his face smoothed out and something in his eyes dropped the slightest bit, like he was... disappointed in you.
"I—" he took a breath and looked away. When his gaze returned, he regarded the both of you with a steely coldness that you had never seen from him before.
Yeah, you fucked up.
"I want you back in two hours sharp. Anything more and I'll come out and find you myself."
And that was it. He was letting you go just like that.
Suddenly you felt stupid for putting up such a fight. He was only trying to look out for you like he was told to do, and you were making it difficult. But for him to think he could just boss you around like that... maybe on the battlefield, but not on your own like this. Not as friends.
Still, you saw the anger and stress and disappointment this was causing him. It was the kind of anger where you knew it only came from a place of worry, not the usual kind that made you panic like he might hate you forever. You knew he could never hate you forever, not like that, not over something as trivial as this. It had your own eyes softening at him as Sabè turned to go.
"I'm sorry Anakin," you told him again, truly meaning it as you followed Sabè's lead. You left him standing in the doorway, watching you go.
•••
Sabè's speeder quietly hummed to life as she pressed the ignition. Neither of you had said a word as you walked through the Temple, slowly because of your condition, which you could tell she noticed by the way she visibly slowed her pace when she found you falling behind. The first thing she said when you closed the door of her speeder was:
"Is it your lungs again?"
"No. Stomach bug," you answered vaguely so you wouldn't have to explain the whole 'being poisoned' thing.
"Oh. I'm sorry."
Your blood spiked at that word. 'Sorry.'
"Are you?"
"Huh?" She looked confused as she pulled out of the parking space, heading into the speeder lanes. Anakin was right— it was snowing pretty hard out, but Sabè was a good driver so you weren't too worried. "Oh."
She was quiet for another moment, and you had to bite your tongue to keep from saying something rash and mean. You weren't here to fight— not yet. First you wanted the explanation that she promised.
"I am sorry," she finally said, very softly. Then nothing else.
You didn't say anything in return. The ball was in her court now, so you were going to let her play the game.
It was odd, though, seeing her look so nervous around you. She kept her eyes on the road, lips pursed, voice quiet like if she spoke any louder she might cry. So unlike the confident, brave politician you knew before.
"It wasn't my decision, or any of ours really. It was Padmè's."
Of course. Why would you have expected anything different?
"I sort of guessed that part already."
"Well, what do you want to know then?"
"How about, let's start with when everyone decided they hated me."
"We don't hate you. We were just... bothered by something you did."
"When?" You pushed. You wanted to know how long they had you fooled for, before you got into the real issue.
"It was the night we went to the Core. After we left, we all took separate cabs back to Padmè's because she said she needed to talk to us about something."
"And?"
"And when we got there, she mentioned that she saw you by the bar while the rest of us were dancing. And you were talking to... Anakin."
She peered over at you when you didn't say anything, too busy stewing in anger.
So this is what everything was about? This whole time? It was Anakin?
"He's my friend," you bit, temper rising too quickly to control it. "You all cast me out because I was talking to Padmè's ex, who also happens to be my friend. Am I supposed to apologize for that?"
"She said you were flirting. Freya and Vera saw it too, and Tori."
"Were they listening to us?" You asked, and she shook her head. "Then how do you know we were? How could you just blindly believe Padmè like that without even getting my side of things?"
You weren't going to mention the fact that you were, in fact, flirting. But it was just a little bit of friendly fun, nothing serious. And so what if you were? It shouldn't have been something that makes or breaks your relationship with the girls.
"It... it never sat right with me," Sabè admitted. "But what were we supposed to do? Argue with her?"
"Yes."
"You know how bad Anakin hurt her, Y/n. How would you feel if the roles were reversed?"
You took a moment and thought about it. You'd be angry, jealous, betrayed. You could see that now, but it still wasn't something that you couldn't eventually get over. Anakin and you were close, and sooner or later that truth would come out. You'd always just thought they'd accept it for what it was— an innocent friendship, nothing more.
You weren't trying to steal him from her, or rub the breakup in her face. You and him have been friends while they were still a couple, before the breakup, after all. If you wanted to steal him, you would have jumped at the chance as soon as they ended things. And none of this was even taking into consideration that Anakin isn't allowed to be in a relationship.
"I wish you guys had just talked to me about it," you deflated, remembering the days of silence afterward, not hearing from anyone, not knowing what you even did wrong. Then the weeks after that of them pretending like you didn't even exist. You had given up on any chance of fixing what might have been left of your relationship.
"I know, I'm sorry. If Padmè found out, she would have—"
"What? Cut you off?"
"You didn't talk to us either, you know,"
"Because you had me blocked."
Another moment of silence. "I'm sorry."
"Stop saying you're sorry."
If you truly cared, you wouldn't have done it in the first place.
You wanted to say that, hated that it even had to be said, but you were afraid that if you opened your mouth you might cry. So you clamped down hard on your jaw, teeth grinding, nails digging into the skin of your arms as you watched the speeder lights and snowflakes rushing toward the windshield like stars blurring past you on hyperspeed.
So what now? Where do you go from here?
This conversation was confusing you more than it was fixing anything. Padmè didn't want to be friends with you if you were friends with Anakin, and therefore neither did the other girls. You don't know why they cared so much when it wasn't even their breakup, but you couldn't change the fact that they did.
But that condition was non-negotiable— you could never choose them over Anakin, not now when you knew their true colors.
But... you did miss them with everything in you. And maybe if you talked to them and got them to realize that their hive-mindset is pretty screwed up and that you're allowed to be friends with Anakin if you wanted to, especially since you technically worked for him now, you could give each other a second chance.
After all, they had once said you were a part of their family now.
"Y/n," Sabè took another deep breath to prepare her for her next words. You hoped she was going to say you could try again, no matter how much you knew it would hurt you. You were willing to try again.
The words never came.
There was a flash of light and then an impact, the deafening, gut-wrenching sound of metal on metal, and you were thrown forward into the windshield. You had no time to feel the glass cut your arms as you threw them up to protect you, or the snow on your face as it rushed into the vehicle, because unlike the movies, it didn't happen in slow motion.
Flash, jolt, black.
That's all there was.