Zoe had been awake all night, and now she was plum exhausted. She'd been so excited, hardly able to believe that she, Zoe Lee herself had been entrusted with the bee miraculous to help Ladybug and Cat Noir save the day. It had been like a dream, so magical and satisfying.
Now, came the after-effects. Chloe, naturally, ignored Zoe unless she had something rude to say. Which, today, she still seemed upset about the whole ordeal. At least Shadowmoth couldn't acumatize her anymore, Zoe thought. She didn't know why, but when she saw Chloe that morning, she felt guilty. If there was one thing Chloe couldn't stop talking about, it was that she was a hero, Queen Bee. Now, Zoe had, in a sense, taken her place and became the new one. Chloe had more than lost her privilege to wear that miraculous, but it still didn't sit right with Zoe. Did she really deserve it? She didn't know. But she knew for a fact that if Chloe found out, she would never forgive her.
Chloe stalked down into the lobby of the hotel as furiously as she could. There was nothing, nothing good at all about this life. She looked around her and sent a nasty glare towards anyone who eyed her. They didn't deserve to be in her presence.
And then there was Zoe. She was smiling slightly in Chloe's direction, in an almost welcoming way. Why did she have to be like that? Why did she have to be so innocent and perfect? Even her own father liked Zoe more, who wasn't even his daughter. It wasn't fair. Chloe wanted that attention. It should all belong to her.
After sending Zoe an extra mean glower, she headed straight for the door. She didn't want to stay here with all of these lowly peasants. She wanted to shop.
As she neared the door leading outside, Chloe spotted a familiar figure, right in front of her. Luka? "What are you doing here?" she demanded. What was he doing here? And why was she starting to panic inside?
Luka smiled, despite Chloe's hard glare. "I came to see my father," he said.
"Your father, is here?" That sounded unbelievable. "Are you sure he could even afford to spend a night here?" Chloe laughed, but Luka just stood there, looking a little stiff.
"He lives here, actually," Luka said quietly a minute later.
Chloe blinked rapidly a few times. He lived here? There were only a few guests who stayed here full time.
"Luka! You're here!" Jagged Stone came out of nowhere and pulled Luka into a somewhat awkward hug.
Chloe blinked rapidly a few times. What? Jagged Stone, THE Jagged Stone was Luka's father? "I did not see that coming," she muttered to herself. Well, looks like she wasn't the only one with family issues.
"Come on, I want you to check out my rockin' new song!" Jagged Stone led Luka further into the hotel.
"Bye," Luka said to Chloe before he was too far away.
That was weird, Chloe thought to herself. It made her wonder just for a second there if she was the only one who had some family issues.
***
Zoe didn't have much planned for today. Nothing really. It was a Saturday, and although Marinette and some of her other friends had invited Zoe to go to a picnic at the park, she had politely declined. She liked being around her friends and all, but she also liked to have a little time to herself.
"Your lunch, miss," one of the waiters said down in the eating area of the Bourgois hotel.
"Thank you," Zoe said with a smile. She was midway through her sandwich when Luka walked over to her.
"Hello," he said.
"Hi," Zoe said. "Come, take a seat." Luka did so, also ordering a sandwich for himself. "So, what are you up to?" Zoe asked. She wasn't the best at starting a conversation, but she knew Luka could be fun if not, interesting to talk to.
"I've come here to visit my dad. Now, I'm just trying to take a short break. He can be overwhelming." Luka rolled his eyes with a smile.
"Believe me, I know the feeling," Zoe commented. Her mother and Chloe would definitely fit into that criteria. But, speaking of Chloe... "I saw you come in. I, uh, presume you've met my sister, Chloe?"
"Oh, yes." Luka didn't say anything more.
That was odd. Most people had a lot to say, or complain about Chloe. "...What'd you think of her?" Zoe asked, hoping that wouldn't backfire on her.
Luka looked up from his food and glanced around the room. "She's troubled. Lost, and probably feels like she's alone. But I think you're right. Deep down, she does have good in her."
Zoe smiled, more glad to hear that than anything else in the world. She was starting to think she was the only person out there who believed Chloe still had good in her. "So, what should I really do to help?" It was the question she kept asking herself over and over again. How could she help Chloe? How could she make her see that goodness was the right path?
Luka looked away, perhaps a bit unsure. "Just let her know, that you're there for her."
***
There was absolutely nothing good to shop for. All of the shoes were cheap, the shirts felt like plastic, and they didn't even have her usual eyeshadow palette.
Chloe was so fed up and mad that she wanted to hit someone. But...what was she mad at? She couldn't figure it out. What was so wrong with her life, with her, that was making her miserable? It was Zoe, Marinette, Adrien, her mother, her father, Sabrina- they were all ruining her life. She hated every single one of them, deep in her bones. What had they ever done for her? Nothing.
Chloe could deny it all she wanted, but she felt hurt inside. Everyone had friends, except for her. Everyone had something to live for, except for her. She wanted something important in her life. Queen Bee had given her that importance. She was a hero. Now, that was all long gone.
Unless she could somehow get her hands on that miraculous. She grumbled to herself, wishing she had listened to Hawkmoth and Mayura's offer to join them the first time. Then Ladybug would be gone. And nothing would be wrong with Chloe.
Once Chloe got back to the hotel, she had her supper brought up to her balcony. The sun was setting in the distance, and it calmed her burning soul inside. She ripped her food into chunks and swallowed, hardly noticing the taste of it.
Chloe had tried for so long to be strong. To hide her soft side, and to be mean and ruthless like her mother. It was the only way forward in life. Walk on others unless you want to get walked on yourself. But it didn't make life any easier. In fact, it made it harder. Chloe let a tear or two fall down her cheek.
When did her life get so hard? When did the lines between good and bad get so blurred? She didn't even know who she was anymore. She didn't feel anything inside. She felt cold, alone, and lost. What was the point of all of this?
"Hey, Chloe."
"Zoe!" Chloe turned away quickly and cleared her eyes. What was that brat doing here? If she saw Chloe crying-
"Do you mind if I, uh, eat with you? You seemed lonely," Zoe offered.
For a minute Chloe felt her heart warm, but then it turned cold again. Zoe didn't really care. She just wanted to find Chloe's weakness so she could use it against her.
"Yes, I mind! I wouldn't have come all the way out here if I didn't want to be myself!" She rolled her eyes and let out an angry huff. "Why don't you just go back to New York where you belong?"
The look on Zoe's face reminded her of a wounded animal. Maybe, she hadn't needed to say that last remark aloud. But, in all truth, it had been messing with Chloe right from the start. Why did Zoe have to come here, and uplift her life?
Zoe's eyes started to fill with tears. "Because, Chloe, I don't have anywhere else to go. I didn't have any friends. All I had was my family...a sister, who I thought, would know what that felt like."
Why did Chloe's heart start to ache so badly? Why, did she for the first time, know exactly how much that hurt? What it was like to be all alone? Chloe was so shocked that she didn't know what to say.
"I guess I can go eat with Mr. Bourgosis..." Zoe murmured.
"No!" Chloe yelled. She wasn't going to let Zoe spend any more time with her father than she had to. "You can...sit over there." She waved to one of the chairs away from her.
Zoe gave her a faint smile. "Thanks, Chloe." Well, this had to be the closest they'd been this whole time. That was a good sign, right?
The two of them ate in silence. In all truth, Chloe wasn't even hungry anymore. What Zoe said kept spinning around in her head. She didn't have any friends either? From the way she said it, it was almost like she...had looked up to Chloe. No one had ever done that before.
Zoe wasn't sure what to say. She needed to start a conversation, but practically anything you said to Chloe was met with a rude remark. Still, she had to try, right? "Hey Chloe, what's your favorite color?"
"What?" Chole asked, clearly confused.
"Like, what color do you like?"
Chloe blinked several times, unsure what to say. Why did Zoe care?
"I like pink," Zoe said. "It's just, so bright and colorful. It reminds me that things will be okay, and happy again." She smiled a little.
"Well, obviously black and yellow like Queen Bee." Chloe rolled her eyes.
"But that's not really you're favorite color, is it?"
Why did that hit Chloe so hard? Why did it hurt to hear that? "I like black and yellow because I am Queen Bee! I am-"
"No," Zoe said, in a quiet, but firm tone. "You're Chloe. Chloe Bourgois, my sister. I know that it's hard to admit, but this is who we are. We can't change that, we can't fake it, we can't pretend that our mother isn't real, or that she actually cares about us sometimes. The truth hurts Chloe, but we can't deny it and pretend to be something we're not forever."
Stop it. Stop it stop it stop it. Chloe thought. She didn't want to hear that. It was trash. All fake. None of that was real. She was Queen Bee, and no one could ever take that away from her. But why did what Zoe say sound so crushingly true? Deep down, Chloe knew that it was the truth she kept denying to herself. She wasn't Queen Bee, and she never could be that hero again. She was Chloe.
"Get away from me! Now!" Chloe didn't want to hear it. She didn't want to think about it.
Zoe looked like she was about to cry. It was fake, wasn't it? Yes, it had to be. She slowly stood up, then walked over to the balcony. "You know, Chloe, before I met you, I thought, maybe, for the first time, I would meet someone like me, who has to fake who they are all the time. And I was right about that part, but not the other. We both pretend to be what our mother wants us to. But the difference is, I make a role to play, but you let yourself become it. You let it take away what's really important. Your heart. Your kindness. If you let yourself keep blackening your heart, you won't have anyone left to stand by you."
For the first time in a long while, Chloe felt a different kind of heartbreak. The kind that felt like she failed someone. The kind she felt when she had given Ladybug back the bee miraculous for the first time. Remorse. Chloe didn't say anything to Zoe at all. She couldn't think of anything to say.
"Chloe, I don't wanna lose hope in you, and I hope I don't, but you have to change, for the better, and you have to quit faking it before it takes control of your life and ruins it." Zoe turned away and closed her eyes as a few tears fell down her cheeks. Why did the truth have to hurt so much?
Chloe walked to the elevator door, feeling defeated for some strange reason. She stopped suddenly, but she didn't look back. "Blue. I like blue. It's calming like the sea." She jumped into the elevator before Zoe could say anything more. On her way down, a few tears pricked her eyes. Why did Zoe have to be here? Why did she have to make her life so complicated and hard? Why did she have to pretend that she actually cared about her? Because no one really did. It was all fake, wasn't it? All Chloe wanted to know, was how Zoe could fake it so well.