sixteen:
TW/ sexual harassment
_______________
"I... just got discharged."
I bit my lower lip, gazing at his now cold eyes seeing he is not even buying it.
He slammed both of his hands on the wall, locking me on my position and making me stand stiff. I am lying if i say i am not intimidated.
"Jeon Haru.."
He looked at his rear, his tongue reaching the inside of his cheek as he completely suppress his annoyance.
"You really thought you can fool me?"
He whispered, audible enough for only the both of us to hear.
"I...."
I have ran out of excuses. I am clearly wrong here and there's no point in lying. It will just add gasoline to the fire.
"Why do you need to lie to me, Haru?"
he asked, his eyes full of disappointment.
I knew it, I should have not lied!
Or i should have not get caught!
"I'm sorry Jay I-"
"You know how much i hate getting lied to, right?"
I just shut my eyes close, not wanting to see him like this.
Fvck. Guilt is eating me.
"Look, I'm really really sorry I didn't really mean to-"
I stopped, seeing him shaking his head and turning his back on me.
I don't know why but i felt like i did something very wrong to someone and i have the need to apologize.
I am not the type of person to apologize. For me, If you are wrong then you are wrong. If i am wrong, you are still wrong. I grew up apologizing for everything I've done but i already changed.
He's not even special to me.
"Jay..."
I held his wrist so I can stop him from walking away. He stood still, but not turning towards me.
"Let me explain...."
I told him, trying my best to make him understand my side.
He just shook his head, gently taking my hand off his wrist.
"You don't have to explain if only you told me the truth."
I just breathed out in frustration, seeing him walking away. I was mad, mad at myself.
I could have just tell him that I bumped into my ex and suddenly felt shitty to come out of the house but because my friend insisted on going to a party so i still attended. I could have told that to him earlier but why didn't I?
because i was scared. I am scared that that thing might blow up my covers. he know me for being the Jeon Haru that never took any relationship seriously. He knew me as the strong independent heartbreaker that doesn't really need any man and it was the other way around.
I don't want him to see me at my weakest. i don't want him to see me struggle because he might hate me, or he might get bored of me.
"Aish!!"
still, I am wrong here. But what is done is already done, i can never rewrite the past so I just need to deal with the present.
"Haruuuuuu!! Why are you thereeee? I thought you'll dance too..?"
Soomin appeared out of nowhere, gazing at me with her eyebrows arched.
"I just.. went out for some fresh air."
I told her, smiling. she nodded her head and took my wrist.
"If you want something fresh then just order some fresh alcohol. jeez you're at the club to relax!!"
Soomin dragged me back to the club, ordering more alcohol before sitting on the sofa with me.
My mind was just flying with thoughts on how should i apologize to Jay and I didn't realized i already drank too many shots.
I countinously drank the shots Soomin is giving me, not paying attention on how much i already drank. I ended up getting wasted. I drank too many alcohol again.
more than I can handle.
"apologize..."
i felt like someone sat next to me so i looked up, my vision is already blurry but i can clearly see it is not Jay or anyone i know.
"you're cute."
I heard him chuckle, making me raise an eyebrow to him.
"The hell are you saying?"
I asked, trying to clear out my vision a bit so i can see his face much clearer.
He leaned towards me, aligning his lips on my ears as he suddenly rested his hand on my leg.
i felt uncomfortable so i scooped a little to my side just to get away from him but he still went near.
"I said you're cute. do you wanna... do something fun?"
I felt his hand caressing my thigh and so i immediately pushed him away, feeling creeps running all over me. fvcking hell not today!
"fvck off you pervert."
I glared at him, looking around and trying to find Soomin. Soomin is out of my sight. Where the hell is she?
"What? You don't want me? Don't i look decent enough for you?"
he smirked at me. I glared at him and glanced at his direction, scanning him from head to toe. Maybe because I am always with Jay, Jake and Sunghoon but now he just look so average to me.
Jay's toe nail is probably more handsome than him.
"You look like a fvcking asshole to me."
I said and rolled my eyes. I tried standing up, but i felt arms wrapping on my waist and preventing me from moving.
"C'mon miss do not play hard to get..."
he whispered from my back, tightening his grip on my waist and kissing my neck.
"Get the hell away from me!!"
I shouted, trying to struggle from his hold but I can't.
fvck what the hell is wrong with him? This bastard is creeping me out!
"D-Don't touch me with your filthy hands!!"
I tried getting his arms off me but because of how many the alcohol that i drank, i can't struggle much stronger than before.
"Fvcking asshole I said don't touch me!!"
tears started to pool on my eyes as i gradually lose my strength to struggle. no one will help me other than me. be strong, please... Haru.
"I'll make sure you'll have fun."
Terror started to agonize my head as I heard the guy chuckling on my ear before he gave me red marks on my neck.
fvcking bullshit i don't want this to happen.. somebody help me!!
"Asshole."
I felt the grip of the man on my back loosened up. i fell on the couch and hugged myself, crying.
I'm so weak.. why am i like this?
"I'll also make sure you'll have fun in jail, you maniac."
I looked up, seeing Jay holding the collar of the man before giving him a solid punch on the face. The man flew to the floor but Jay held him once again and raised him, beating him up again and again until he lost consciousness.the man collapsed on the floor, his face almost unrecognizable.
I saw Jay glanced towards my direction, removing his leather jacket and putting it on my shoulders as he wrapped his arm on me, assisting me to walk out of that place.
"let's go."
he commanded. I willingly obeyed him, walking towards his car and rushing back to our building.
The whole ride was silent, only my sobs were the only thing audible. I heard him sighed a few times as he drives.
I glanced at him, his face is unreadable and his eyes are ice cold. his left hand is fixed on the steering wheel while the other one is on the gear lever while driving.
He noticed i was looking at him so he glanced at my direction. I looked away, feeling awkwardness enveloping the air around me.
"You okay?"
his tone sounds more concerned than mad. I thought he's mad at me earlier?
He opened a small compartment next to the gear lever and gave me a bottle of water.
"drink this."
he commanded without even looking at me. i took the water from his hand and opened it, drinking half of its content to sober myself up. i sighed after drinking, looking at the window.
"why did you saved me?"
I asked, not looking at him because of shame.
This day is way too awful for me. starting in the morning up until the night. why is everything happening is just a single day?
"why are you asking?"
he asked back, making me look at him with confusion.
"I thought you're mad."
I said, looking down. he cleared his throat and answered.
"i thought so too."
he said and chuckled.
"Then why did you saved me? I... i deserve that."
I felt the car suddenly stopped. i didn't realized we are already on the parking space of the condominium building. I was about to open the door when i felt something stuck on it, meaning that it is locked.
he was looking at me with a serious expression.
"No one deserves to be disrespected and harassed, haru."
he looked at me straight in the eye before sighing, looking away and unlocking the door.
"besides, isn't it enough that you are Jeon Haru for me to save you?"
he asked, leaving me confused inside the car. he hopped out, opening the door next to me.
"What... what do you mean?"
i asked, getting off the car and looking at him. he pursed his lips and shrugged before he shut the door close at my back and held my hand.
he dragged me towards the elevator without saying anything. I was just there, looking at him, wondering what does he mean.
I never felt the name Jeon Haru was that special.
I never felt like I was special to him.
"Can you sleep alone tonight?"
he asked me, concerned with what happened earlier.
I just shook my head, looking down and sighing.
right. he just saw me at my weakest earlier. he might feel bored of me now.
ahh fvck this, Jeon Haru you screw up so bad today.
I thought he'll refuse to let me crash to his unit tonight but no. The only floor he pressed was the floor of his penthouse.
"Go to bed now, I'll sleep on the guest room."
he said, walking towards the kitchen after we reached his penthouse.
I took his jacket off me and nodded my head.
"Wait- Haru..."
he looked at my eyes before turning to my neck.
I remembered the marks the guy gave me earlier. this is freaking disgusting. I immediately covered them with my hand and turned around.
"I will go to sleep now-"
i didn't had the chance to run to his room because he suddenly grabbed my wrist and made me turn to him.
he stared at the marks on my neck, his eyes starting to be intense once again, hints of madness and anger can be seen on his eyes.
"Did that guy gave you that?"
I looked down, tears started forming on my eyes,
yes it's disgusting. indeed, Jay.
"disgusting isn't it..?"
he didn't answered, slowly letting my hand go. I shook my head, wiping the tears pooling on my eyes before walking towards the door of his house to exit.
my steps were halter after he grabbed my hand to stop me. I looked at him, turning to his direction.
i can see glimpse of pity now on his eyes. he looked at me, pulling me for a tight embrace.
"i'm sorry..."
he apologized. i shove my face on his chest and just broke down.
i cried on him. i let him see how I am when I am at my weakest,
I let him see that I am not strong enough.
even if my heart's already cold,
I am still a human.
"Haru, look at me..."
he raised my head my putting his finger on my chin and softly smiled at me. he wiped my tears with his thumb, gently making me stop crying.
"will you allow me to remove them?"
he asked, i looked at him in confusion. what does he want to remove? my hickeys? can he do that? how?
"how will you...."
I didn't had the chance to finish my sentence, i closed my eyes as his face went closer to mine.
his lips suddenly met my lips. he gently pushed me towards the wall, letting me lean there as he pulled me closer. his hand is on my nape, while the other one is still on my chin. I just surrendered and felt his lips on me.
the moment was very soft, tender and affectionate. suddenly, i felt my uncertainty and stress slowly leaving me. he gave me comfort with a simple gesture. he gave me something i can lean on, something i can cherish.
Our lips rode a soft rhythm, the feeling was too surreal to be true. Like i was in a cloud nine, i felt lightheaded and found myself just following his rhythms. My fingers fiddled on the strands of his hair as i pulled him closer.
"Jay..."
i whispered his name as his kisses went lower. from my lips, to my chin, down to my neck. he trailed the marks on my neck, slightly raising my head with his fingers on my chin and giving him full access. he kissed the marks and sucked on them, making me totally lose my strength. my knees started trembling as he left purple marks on top of the marks given by that stranger. he held my waist and pulled me closer to support my weight after he felt like I'm losing my strength on my knees. he kissed all of the marks the guy gave me and replaced all of the hickeys with his own.
after a few more seconds, he pulled away and looked at me, a warm smile curving on his lips.
he kissed my forehead one last time before speaking.
"there... everything's gone."
he smiled, sending me warmth i never felt in my whole existence.
Did he just.... made my heart flutter?
"sleep now, haru. Call me when you need anything."
he told me, walking towards the guest room to rest.
i was left there, staring at nothingness before i put my hands on my chest.
I can feel my heartbeat racing so hard right now.
What is this feeling?
No way.
You can't fall, Jeon Haru... please....
stop your feelings. this is wrong.
________________
Here's an update after a long whileeeee~ i put some trigger warning in the front for some of y'all~
How are y'all? I've been watching k-dramas lately and i am waiting for nevertheless' next episodes~ hope y'all are okay there!! Byeee~