This room was simple and dark. Clean lines and minimal clutter gave it a cold, almost clinical, feel and the darkness of midnight shelves and sheets seemed to deepen the melancholic mood that clung to the air.
The God of Mischief, so self assured and strong, sat stoic in the chair by the window, gazing out over the grounds his brother now called home and thought of his days in Asgard; his childhood of realm jumps and friendships forged. He sat with his back to the door and his mind filled with playful laughter that echoed in the distant memories of lifetimes lost and hiding in farmers fields with faces long lost and missed for eternity.
He smiled as her footsteps stilled and the air shifted somehow. He could feel her power, sleeping beneath the surface as she watched him - as she wondered how to speak to him.
"Miss Halsted," he hummed, turning slowly to face her, "I was wondering when you'd come."
Elizabeth smiled as she leant against the wall, her eyes following the already yellowing bruises of his healing face.
"Loki."
He turned from her, gesturing to the open seat beside his, positioned to face over the compound, and turned his attention back to the shift of trees and the ripple of the breeze breathing life over the scene around them. She moved with ease and comfort, sitting beside him like old friends after a long time separated and Loki felt warmth rise in his chest.
"I was wondering if I could ask about her?" She looked only at him.
Loki laughed and she noted the way his smile softened his face. His eyes brightened and his lips curled up in a way that suggested he was truly thinking; not plotting, not planning, just remembering.
"You saved my life Elizabeth." He glanced towards her and honesty wrote itself across his eyes. "I am in debt to you. You may ask any questions you have. I promise to answer them all."
Elizabeth leant forwards, her eyes sinking into the emerald of his as she took his hand and shifted in her chair.
"I guess," she began, her voice wavering as she tried to find the right words, "I guess I just wanted to know who she was; why she was important to you. If that's okay?"
Loki squeezed her hand gently as he closed his eyes and leant back in his seat. His mind flooded with her hair; the soft, long brown of it, blowing in the breeze as she ran from him. It flooded with her laughter and the warmth of her voice as she called out for him to catch her. The peels of her giggles danced in the recesses of his mind, wrapping around old oak trees and slipping through stalks of barley as he frolicked in childish pleasures with the girl with the brilliant brown eyes.
His voice was a whisper; sad and nostalgic and filled with a deep adoration.
"Centuries ago when the Bifrost was an open pathway between Midgard and Asgard, Thor and I would come here often." He felt the soft brush of her thumb against his knuckles as she listened closely. "We were just children and we enjoyed the games the Midgardian's would play."
He opened his eyes and gazed out over the grounds once more, the beautiful emerald green irises tracing the paths of figures unseen across the open spaces before him.
"There was a girl, her name was Amara and she was both beautiful and strong. As children we became fast friends. She saw me for who I was, who I truly am, and celebrated it rather than feared it. As we grew, so did our friendship. I loved her. I loved her dearly."
Elizabeth sighed as she watched the silver of sadness wrap around him and he took a deep breath.
"I loved her, but we age differently to you mortals, and as time went on Amara grew older, she grew to need more than I could give her and I knew it pained her. It pained her that I could not grow old with her so I left Midgard behind me and I left her."
Tears misted his eyes and Elizabeth brushed her own away.
"I watched her from a distance of course. I watched as she found love, as she had a family, as she grew old. I watched as she died, surrounded by a family who adored her as much as I did; a family who gave her everything I could not."
Elizabeth let the silence settle around them as she thought over his words. Her heart ached for him; for the love he had lost and watched from a distance. She had tasted his misery first hand for those months after Bucky's return; the feeling of being close to having the love you desired and yet not being close enough to take it. For the first time since she had met the man of mischief she felt she could understand him.
"And I look like her?" She smiled softly when he looked towards her; his eyes misted with moments stolen from the life he had watched for years, centuries ago.
He squeezed her hand gently and smiled softly.
"Yes." His voice was a soothing murmur. "But it is more than that. You, my dear, are a descendent of Amara. Long removed, of course, but a descendent all the same. Time seems to have found her features for you, pieced them together as a beautiful reminder of who she was." There was determination and honour hidden beneath his whispers. "You are the image of Amara, Elizabeth, and I promise to protect you until my dying breath."
*
She lay wrapped in Bucky's arms and a tangle of sheets. His fingers gently ran through her hair as she contemplated the wondrous ways her life seemed to tangle and entwine with those around her; how the universe brought her to Bucky and to Steve; how she had somehow found her way into the lives of both Stark men; how literal gods had been intwined with her fate and family for centuries. Her mind twisted around the stories of her past and she sighed.
Bucky waited. He waited to find the right words to say; to know how to put her mind at ease when his was reeling too. He felt her sigh and his arm tightened around her. He held her against him as they both lay silent, watching the darkness and thinking about everything.
When she sat up suddenly, pulling away from him and swinging her legs off of the side of the bed, Bucky watched with confusion. He watched as she got up and pulled her hair back; tying it away from her face and as she bent down to scratch a sleepy Dugan behind the ears. When she turned to him she smiled softly and leant in to kiss him with a tender sadness.
"I'm sorry Buck," she whispered, "go to sleep. I'll be back in a little while."
He pulled her in again, kissing her before she pulled away from him and he watched her as she quickly left the room, leaving a thick sadness in the air behind her. Slowly he propped himself up on his elbows, glancing down to the floor where Dugan lay curled in a ball, his head popping up as it tilted to the side and his ears flopped.
"What's wrong with our girl, huh?" Bucky whispered in the dark.
*
Elizabeth sat at the counter with her head in her hands and her tears pouring as the whistle of the kettle rose in the room. Her heart pounded and her mind swam in chaos and fear as her tears burned her and her throat choked her.
Slowly, she got to her feet, pushing herself into action and she went through the motions of making tea. Her body worked on autopilot as her thoughts danced through questions and worries and things that were lost to her. She let the steaming stream of water fill the mug she had prepared and she moved to the refrigerator where she stood in the soft glow of the light, oblivious to the watchful eyes in the darkness. She let the pain shake her as she stood lost in the sensation and silence crept towards her.
When he spoke, his voice was no longer booming; it was calm and it was comforting.
"Elizabeth?" Thor walked towards her and reached around her, taking the milk from the door of the fridge and placing it in her hands, his eyes meeting hers as he reached up to wipe away her tears. "Is everything okay?"
She shook her head quickly as she pulled away and placed the milk on the counter beside her mug, placing a small smile on her lips as she laughed off her tears and her worries and turned back to face the softness of the God of Thunder.
"Of course." She sighed as he raised his eyebrows at her. "I just couldn't sleep. It's a lot to process, you know? I guess I have a lot to think about."
Turning her back to Thor she let her smile fall and her eyes become sad once again. She stared at the drink that now appealed to her less than sleep did and she felt the atmosphere shift. Cerulean sparks flickered in her fingertips as she let the energy wrap around the room, devouring the atmosphere so that she could find knowledge and she found one thing and one thing only; she found understanding.
Thor walked to the stairs, ready to leave her to her thoughts, aware that Elizabeth had a process, but he paused before he could take another step away from her.
"Elizabeth?" He did not turn to face her.
"Yes Thor?"
"I know Loki told you about Amara." He glanced over his shoulder and saw her watching him. "I want you to know he spoke the truth. He loved her very much Elizabeth, and he pledged to protect her family. You can trust him."
She smiled. After everything Loki had done, after all of the destruction and devastation that had been left in his wake time after time, Thor always looked for the good in him. He never failed to find it. He found the purest part of Loki and clung to it, just as she would.
"I know Thor."
He climbed the stairs.
"I trust him." She turned back to her mug and poured the drink into the sink. There was only one place she could think when she felt like this.
*
Life swelled in the room around her as her fingers swiped over keys of black and white. The lift of the melancholy seemed to buzz and the softest mist of ice blue washed over her eyes, sweeping down across her shoulders, down her arms and through her fingers. The mist swirled and span, it danced and it dove, it formed shapes and faces and she watched in awe and wonder as the story of a life she had not lived played out before her.
The surge of sadness seemed to twist in her stomach as she watched tiny toes dance in the sand as waves chased them from the edge of the sea. The giggles of the brown haired boy and girl running hand in hand echoed above the music and her heart ached for the love of these children. She watched as a Bucky she had yet to know cradled a sleeping baby in his arms, walking through the sandy waves as the toddlers ducked and dove around him, running towards her as they called out to her and beamed up at her. She watched as this Bucky held his hand out to her and pulled her to his side; how he laughed as the children around them splashed in the water and how he placed the softest kiss against the perfect porcelain of the sleeping babies skin. She watched as a family unfolded before her and she felt the twist of knots in her stomach as arms wrapped around her and the blue faded away.
Bucky had watched in sadness as she created the scene playing in the air around them and he wanted to hold her and soothe her. He wanted to take away her pain. He wrapped his arms around her waist as he perched himself on the edge of the piano stool and kissed her cheek. He felt her relax against him as the minor chord she held softened and quietened until there was nothing but the memory of the notes and the memories of the mist that wrapped around them as they sat together.
"Hey Doll." He nuzzled into her neck and kissed her shoulder as she sighed. "What was all that?"
Elizabeth closed her eyes as she held onto his hands, focusing on the comfort she found in his arms.
"I don't know," she admitted. "It's what I want I guess. Or wanted? I don't know."
He felt her shaking slightly and he tightened his hold on her, shushing her as her tears came again.
"I just worry we won't ever get there. We won't get our peace." She twisted to face him and placed her hand against his cheek. She stared into the calm seas of ice blue and brushed her thumb over his cheek. "I want to marry you James. I want to be yours. I want to be a family."
Bucky's smile was soft and loving. It was calm in the chaos and quiet in the noise. It was peaceful.
"Then let's just do it Lizzie. Let's get married - not in a year, not in a church or a hall or anything fancy. Let's do it next month. I'm sure Stark would let us do it here. Just us and the team like you wanted. I don't want to put our life on hold Doll. Not for this."
Elizabeth's smile was dazzling and bright. She kissed him with such a softness that he sighed for more. She gazed into the crystal eyes flecked with deep, dark blue and she nodded.
"That sounds perfect Mr. Barnes."