Chapter Nine
Anna’s POV
“What?” Eric growls, his voice is full of interest and anger.
“Am I your girlfriend?” I ask simply. I can’t go through with the next four months of our agreement with Eric not knowing what he thinks of me. I refuse to be his fuck toy, and if that’s what he wants from me… sorry, but I’m gone. I will not be fucked with for the next four months, physically or mentally.
“What kind of question is that?” Eric barks, crossing his arms over his chest. I know I’ve made him mad, but I don’t care. I want to know the answer.
Does Eric have feelings for me?
“It’s a good question.” I state, mimicking his actions by crossing my own arms over my chest.
This time Eric doesn’t respond. Instead he glowers at me.
I sigh, tilting my head to the side as I give him a look. “Can’t you just answer the question? Is it really that bad that I want to know where we stand?”
“You want an answer?” Eric growls, stalking towards me. He leans over me, his tall frame towering over me, pressing me into the lawn chair.
I nod, licking my lips.
“The answer is no. You are not my girlfriend and I’m not your boyfriend. I am the employer to the employee, the master to the servant. For the next four months I own your ass. I make a demand, you say yes. You have no hold over me, but I have everything on you. Got it?” He spits out the last two words, grinding his teeth together, his eyes searching my face for my reaction.
“You’re a fucking asshole.” I yell, shoving his arms off me and standing up. “I don‘t care about the deal I have with you, I won‘t subject myself to four months of torment knowing you don‘t think of me as anything more than a convenient fuck toy.” I growl the last part, my hands clenching into tight fists.
Our gazes hold, our anger radiating off of our bodies. We’re both pissed to the extreme, and neither one of us is willing to admit defeat.
My arms are tense at my sides, and despite how fucking angry I am with him, I desperately want him to change his mind, to say that I’m more than a fuck toy. I want him to say he cares.
We stare at each other for a few more moments before I drop my gaze, shaking my head.
“Well this is a huge disappointment.” I spit, turning and stalking out of the room.
I shake my head, my gaze set on the living room, my mind set on going home. I don’t want to be here any more. I don’t want Eric any more.
No, that’s not true.
I realize, I do want Eric. I want him more than I’ve wanted any man before, but what I want is more than lust. I not only want Eric, I want him to desire me in return. Desire me for more than lustful reasons. I want him to want to be with me, because he likes to talk to me and go for drives with me. For him to want me despite my lack of cooking skills and my kick ass skills on Call of Duty.
I don’t make it more than a few steps before Eric catches my hand and reels me back in.
“Let go of me, Eric.” I bite out, my anger rising. I glance at his grip on my wrist.
“No.” He states as he pulls me in closer.
“Let go of me!” I scream, pulling back. “Just let go of me.” I sigh. “I don’t want you to touch me right now.”
Eric’s nostrils flare, his eyes so dark they’re almost black. His body tenses, the muscles in his biceps bulging for a second before he nods and loosens his grip on me. I quickly pull away.
I rub my wrist, the skin red from Eric’s tight grip on me. I shake my head, feeling tears prick at my eyes. I clench my jaw as I blink them away. I’m not letting him see me cry. He’s not going to crush me then get the satisfaction of seeing me in tears.
I stand there, just watching him, hoping he’ll say something, anything. I desperately want him to tell me that he does want me, but as the minutes tick by, I realize that that’s not going to happen.
Turning, I take calm, sure steps even though my body is shaking. I cross my arms in front of my chest and straighten my back, appearing more confident than I actually feel. I hear Eric take in a breath, deep and strong, like he’s going to say something. I slow my steps, but don’t turn around. Nothing.
Shaking my head, I resume my stride. I’d just crossed the threshold into the house when I hear a crash. I spin around and watch as Eric pummels his fist into the brick wall over and over again.
I cover my mouth with my hand for a second before I turn around and run for my car.
I don’t need complications like Eric Rogers in my life.
****
My hands shake as I wipe tears off my cheeks. The light turns green and I know I shouldn’t be driving in this state. Right now, I don’t care. I can’t go home in case Eric actually cares and comes looking for me. I almost laugh at that. Why would he come looking for me? He’s already shown me how little he thinks of me.
I spot a McDonalds and I pull in, deciding a high calorie meal of French fries, fried meat, ice cream and a Coke will make me feel better. I park by the building, quietly unwrapping my fried meal. I eat a few fries as I turn the dial for the radio. I come to a pause as a familiar song comes on the radio.
Bad Girlfriend, Theory of a Deadman.
Eric told me once that when he hears this song, he thinks of me. I had laughed, smacking him on his arm.
“You think I’m a slut?” I asked, serious.
“No.” Eric pecked me on the lips. “This song makes me think of how wrong I am for you.”
“How so?” We’d never talked about our status as a couple before, today, but we were close. We each had feelings for each other despite.
“You’re a good girl, Anna.” Eric had whispered in my ear.
I take a drink of my Coke, shoving those thoughts out of my mind. I’m not a good girl. I make a deal with the Devil and yet, I’m a good girl? That’s as bad as it fucking gets.
I clench my fists and squeeze my eyes shut. Those words Eric had whispered to me, almost tenderly as we laid in bed together while we listened to the radio had almost seemed caring. Like he was concerned about what happened to me.
I’m not making that mistake again. Eric Rogers is a person to avoid.
I toss the empty fry carton onto the passenger seat and take the M&M McFlurry into my hands. I swirl my plastic spoon in the creamy mixture for a moment before sticking it in my mouth. It’s already half melted, the M&M’s divvied of color, the white ice cream now a distasteful gray. I eat it anyway.
A half our later I’ve emptied my carton of fries, the burger wrapper is crumpled on the floor, and the McFlurry has melted until it’s no longer appealing.
I throw it all in the trash and wipe my hands clean on a napkin. I don’t want to go home. I don’t know if Eric will chase after me or not, but I really don’t want to talk to him right now. I try and think of all the places I could go, but I don’t want to be alone any more.
I drive to Claire’s.
Claire and I haven’t hung out much since the whole thing with Eric started, but now that’s it’s over…. I need to tell it to someone. I need my best friend.
I text her on the way that I have something to tell her and that I want to talk. Claire, always the gossip, texts me back a smiley and tells me that her parents are out, letting me know that we’d have plenty of time to talk.
I pull into Claire’s driveway ten minutes later. Adjusting my purse strap on my shoulder, I reach up to knock on the door just as it swings open.
Claire.
“Come on in!” Claire smiles, and I know she already forgives me for ignoring her these past two months. I don’t deserve her friendship.
I step inside, instantly immersed in a home that has been such a huge part of my life. I remember spending days here, playing with her toys when I was young, and later raider her wardrobe. My dad couldn’t afford to buy me that much, but what he did buy, I cherished. A red ruby heart necklace on my fourteenth birthday has always been the best birthday present. It took him two weeks to save up to buy it. I wore the necklace for three months straight before David pointedly told me not to wear it out.
“I already grabbed the ice cream.” Claire smiles, leading me into the kitchen. I drop my purse on the counter, grabbing a carton of chocolate ice cream. Claire pulls a stool up, plopping down on it as she drags a rocky road mix towards her.
“You wanted to talk?” Claire prompts.
“Yeah. You know Eric Rogers?”
“The guy that stole you away for two months? I know him.”
“He didn’t steal me away, Claire. We’ve been spending time together.”
Claire rolls her eyes. “You’ve never ditched me for a guy before.” She gives me a look that says she knows everything. “He stole you away.”
“Anyway…” I sigh. “What we had, him and I, it’s over.” I pinch my eyes shut, trying to force back tears. I’m not a girl that cries. I don’t get emotional, I don’t get weepy.
“You really cared for him.” Claire says, sliding off her seat and over to me, pulling me into a hug.
I nod, not trusting my own voice to not betray my true feelings for him.
“Honey, what did he do?”
“He broke my heart.” I whisper.
***
Two days have gone by and nothing has changed. Eric hasn’t texted, called, driven by,… It’s like I never existed to him.
I ended up spending the night at Claire’s. I couldn’t handle going home. I was still distraught, and Dad and David would have been able to see that. They would have wanted to know what happened and they would have wanted to go after Eric. I may- be trying -not to care for him, but I don’t want to see him get hurt by my brother and Dad. I love them, but I think Eric might win the fight between the three of them.
Instead I’ve devoted myself to my school work and hanging out with Melissa. Turns out one Wright girl and Roger boy can actually get along. Ethan, Eric’s younger brother, has been hanging out with Melissa for the past two months. They play video games together, go to the movies, go out to eat, and go shopping together. I think they’re dating, but Melissa denies that. I think she likes him.
I’ve hung out with them a couple times, and let me say, Ethan is nothing like his brother. He’s sweet, caring, and completely adores Melissa. He brings her snacks and drinks, makes sure she’s comfortable, and lets her change the channel even if football is on. He’s awesome.
I’ve refused to ask about Eric, and Ethan hasn’t brought it up. I don’t know if Ethan knows about Eric and my relationship change. I don’t really care. Eric hasn’t contacted me in two days, why should I be asking about him?
“Gotcha!” I say, my avatar knifing Ethan’s in the side. I smile as the game chimes, announcing another victory.
Melissa isn’t a big video game girl, but as long as Ethan’s playing, she’s fine with it. I’ve played Call of Duty a couple of times before, mostly stealing David’s games when I get bored. In the past two days I’ve needed something to take my mind of things. Turns out a little blood and gore is the perfect distraction.
Another game starts up and Melissa sighs, crinkling her nose when she’s first infected. I love infected. I love to hide…
Ethan whispers something to her before saying louder that she can infect him. Melissa just started playing the other day, so she hasn’t gotten the controls down yet.
I get killed a few times, I infect a couple of people. In the middle of the next game I’m begin feeling like the third wheel. Ethan and Melissa keep getting closer and closer, more and more cuddlely. They’re not making out- I wouldn’t allow that to happen, at least, not in front of me -but they are leaning into each other, legs and arms touching. During intermission Ethan wraps his arm around Melly’s shoulders and kisses her on top of her head.
I decide to excuse myself. I don’t need to watch this, not after my recent break up with Eric. I don’t even feel comfortable saying we broke up. I don’t even know if we dated!
I walk into the kitchen and grab a bottle of water. I decide to sit out back, so I grab a bag of chips and my iPod. I settle into one of the lounge chairs. All the emotions I’ve been feeling in the past two days come down on me all at once and I exhale, feeling myself start to crumble. I may not have loved Eric, but I did care for him. I thought he felt the same.
How could I have been so stupid?
I put my ear buds in and turn on one of my play lists. I relax back into the chair and let myself be.