That Still Could Be Us
This is the continuation of ‘That Could Be Us’. I finally made this into a two-shot as requested by Jenfaniston55. Hope you all enjoy it! Happy reading!
Note : The words written in italic were the flashback of their past.
On their way home, Ross and Rachel shared a cab together. They were both still in awe with what they had just witnessed, the first ever picture taken of their unborn child. Their hearts were fluttering with so much anticipation, it was a very overwhelming feeling the two of them had.
Rachel still held the picture in her hands, clutching it dearly as her eyes were fixated on it. Like she said to her friends and him, no matter what, no matter how the circumstances between them were, she wanted to keep the baby. It was something she decided almost immediately after she found out about the pregnancy.
She wanted to become a mom.
Unbeknownst to Rachel, Ross was secretly watching her, feeling both happy and proud for having the chance to share these magical moments with her. This pregnancy might be so out of the blue and so unconventional, but he was over the moon about it. He wanted to scream his lungs out and told the whole world that Rachel was carrying his baby. He wanted the whole world to know that. That was how happy he was right now.
Though he had to admit, he wasn't really at his best behavior a couple hours ago when she broke the news to him for the first time. It was something he never expected to happen, not in a million year. What they had a month before was a bonus night as she referred to it as. How was the odd she was going to get pregnant from a bonus night where he vividly remembered they used the protection? He meant, he had done these with her almost for like what, 300 times as he recalled, what was the odd to that? He wondered.
For a moment, he was mad. He was mad at himself for letting this thing repeat itself. He was having another child with another of his ex-wives. That meant, more children he couldn’t share a house with, more children he had to send off every few days, more children he was gonna miss growing up.
This hit him hard. It always did. He knew how hard it was to send Ben off to his moms, it was agonizing for him to watch his own kid left. And now try double that.
But at least this was Rachel he was having a child with. She only lived across the street and they only hung out every single day, so that meant he got to see this kid every day and that was a lot for him. It meant, unlike Ben, he got to be more present in this child’s life and hopefully Rachel would be kind enough to let their child have his last name slipped somewhere in between it. But of course, he wouldn’t push it.
After the initial shock, the thought of having another child finally hit him.
He was going to be a father again.
Being a father was one great thing that happened in his life. Ben was his everything. He loved his own son so much and now he got to have another human being-that he helped create, to love and to protect. To make it even better, it was his and Rachel’s child.
And what would it mean for them? Did it mean they got to get back together? For the sake of their child? Or because secretly he had been harboring some feelings for her the moment she told her she was pregnant with his child?
Whatever was that, he needed to find out. Maybe she felt the same way as he did. Maybe after all, he didn’t have to be apart from his own child again. Maybe this time, he could get what he always wanted since he was fifteen, to have a family with her.
No matter how desperate he was to find out about her opinion on this, he knew first thing first, he owed her an apology.
“Hey, Rach..”He said softly, gaining her full attention as he did so. “I just wanna say I’m sorry for how I reacted earlier.” He was both ashamed and guilty for how he reacted to the news earlier. It was only after he realized she was gone, that he knew how badly he had reacted. “I’m so stupid, okay? I should’ve been there for you, to calm you down, not freaking you out.” She let out a smile at this and then he took one of her hands on his before looking at her straight in the eyes. “So, what I’m trying to say is: I’m sorry for acting like a jerk, you don’t deserve that.”
“It’s okay, I understand.” She began. “I was shocked too the first time I found out about this.”
That was when he realized how terrified she must’ve been to do this all alone. He cursed himself more under his breath, feeling guiltier on the way he acted earlier.
“I can’t even begin to imagine how scared you must be.” Ross began as the revelation hit him. “How long have you found out?”
“A day before Monica and Chandler’s wedding.”
“So, about a week?” Ross asked her and she nodded. “Why don’t you tell me sooner?”
“I don’t know.” She sighed. “I guess I just don’t want to steal her ‘thunder’ again.” They both chuckled at the memories they shared almost a year ago, the first time she brought out the topic of ‘bonus night’. “So, I guess it’s bound to happen, huh?”
The sexual tension between them could’ve never died off. It didn’t matter that they hadn’t even shared a kiss in more than a year, but something kept them attracted to each other, just like a magnet. It was almost inevitable.
“Yeah.” He nodded lightly. “But just so you know, now that we’re talking about this. I just want you to know that, I will never regret it.”
“Yeah, me too.” How could she regret something amazing that had happened to her life? Even if she wasn’t pregnant right now, she could’ve never regretted a night she spent with him. It was always been special. He would always be special to her.
“Can I ask you something?” Ross asked as he was still curious about something she had said earlier.
“Of course.”
“You know, when you said you’re going to raise this baby alone if I don’t want anything to do with them. Do you mean it?”
“Yeah, I mean, of course.” She replied confidently. “I want to keep this baby, Ross.” She explained further. “Like you said, I was terrified the first time I found out I was pregnant. I mean, I know nothing about becoming a mom.”
“Come on, give yourself a little credit.” Ross interrupted her. “You’re really great with Ben. Remember when you told me how proud you were after mastering how to change a baby’s diapers?”
She laughed at the memories, fond memories she dearly treasured in her heart. “Yeah, I remember.” She said softly whilst keeping her smile. “But this is different, you know? I’m gonna be responsible for this child’s life 24 hours a day, seven days a week, no breaks.” She continued to explain. “Of course I’m terrified, but then.” She sighed as her eyes wandered into her now flat stomach, gently placing her hand on top of it as she did so. “The thought of being a mom hits me and it’s just so..”
“Amazing.” They finished her words at the same time and they exchanged a warm smile.
“You’re going to be a great mom, Rach.” He said wholeheartedly, earning a thankful smile from her. “And I want to be a part of this child’s life as much as you allow me to.” He continued. “And I’m gonna be there for you throughout the pregnancy. I want to be there throughout all the doctors appointments, all your cravings, and even Lamaze classes.”
“Thank you.” She said softly as her eyes were getting misty.
She might have said she was going to do this alone if he didn’t want to be a part of these, but now that she knew she wouldn’t be alone, that he’d be there for her, it gave her a whole lot of relief she didn’t know she needed.
He gave her a smile and a nod. She then leaned in to rest her head against his shoulder as her hand reached his and they held hands. He might only hear the news by today, but they were already closer than they ever did in years. To the naked eyes of other people, it almost seemed like they were just another ordinary couple, who was excited to find out that they were pregnant with their first child.
He knew this was his moment. He needed to find out how she felt about the possibilities of giving them another chance.
“Hey, listen..” Ross said as he rubbed her hands that were entangled with his gently, causing her to look up and look at him. “Do you wanna come by to my place?” He asked. “I have something to ask you about.”
Her lips curved into a smile. “Yeah, sure.” She said before closing her eyes again and let her head rested back on his shoulder. He watched her the entire time with a smile on his face, realizing he didn’t want to let her go again this time. This was his chance to get her back.
.....
“Do you want something to drink?” Ross offered as he closed his apartment door behind them and hung his coat.
“A hot tea would be nice.” Rachel said as she took off her coat, gaining help from Ross as she did so. She gave him a smile in return. “Thanks.”
Whilst Ross was in his kitchen, Rachel made herself comfortable at the brown leather couch. She rested her head against it and closed her eyes, today had been a very exhausting day for her. As she was about to drift off into the dreamland, a soft voice woke her up.
“Here you go.” He placed two cups of tea for each of them on the table. Only after placing it, he realized her eyes were closed. “You know, maybe if you’re that tired. We can talk another time.” Ross proposed.
“No, no.” Rachel quickly sat straight. “Let’s talk now.”
Ross couldn’t possibly know how desperate she was to have this talk with him. Since she found out about this pregnancy, she had been wondering what it’d be like for them. She wanted to know where they were standing. Were they going to try to work their relationship once again or just became two friends who shared a baby together?
She didn’t know about him, but she liked the first option better. Well, at least they had to try to see if it was going to work, right? It was worth the shot.
“Okay.” They exchanged a brief smile before the room turned into a silence, both not knowing where to begin the conversation.
Ross was fidgeting with his fingers, his eyes were wandering back and forth from her to the ground. He knew what he wanted to say, but he really needed to muster up his courage to do so. When he turned his attention fully to her, he noticed how nervous she looked and made the tips of his lips curved into a small smile. Maybe she wanted this as much as he did, he thought. That gave him the last push to open his mouth.
“You know.. About what I said earlier..” Ross began nervously, but she gave him a small smile which encouraged him to go on. “I really mean it when I said I want to be there for you and our baby every step of the way. And I know I might have given you the wrong impression earlier today, but I really am happy for this, you know?” She nodded, she knew he meant it. She grabbed his hand into hers and rested it on her lap before giving it a squeeze to make a point. He smiled at that. “It’s just, I can’t believe I’m going to be a father again.” He said with his rather cracked voice, feeling emotional about it.
“I know..” She replied softly, mimicking his tone as she said so.
“I mean, after what happened between us, I never thought this day would come, you know?” She gave him a sad smile this time. She remembered back then they were dating, after he unveiled his entire 10 years plan for them including a house in Scarsdale and two childs, they talked about their future until dawn. Just laughing about the names he chose for their childs or arguing who their child would look like more to.
Year 1996
“I wish our future child will have your beautiful blue eyes.” He said softly as they both laid in their bed facing each other. “and your beautiful hair...” He brushed her hair gently whilst Rachel was looking at his every move with a dreamy look on her face. “... your pretty nose.” He leaned in and gave her nose a kiss, making her giggle in response. “... and your gorgeous lips..” He kissed her on her lips this time. “Just everything.”
“My nose, really?” She questioned him, amused. “Do you not remember how my nose looked before this?”
“Do you not remember I fell in love with you way before your nose job?” He returned the question and it caused her heart to skip a beat hearing it. “And besides, I don’t see any problem with your old nose. They’re beautiful.”
It always amazed her at how long he had been in love with her. How long he adored her. He was the only man in this world who knew so much about her and loved her for who she truly was, not just by her look. She sighed, it had only been a few months since they dated, but she never loved anyone like him and she never felt being so loved other than with him.
“I don’t know whether you really mean that or what, but I really do wish our children will have your nose.” She said in much seriousness. “And your puppy eyes..” She continued as she stared into his hazel eyes and realized how much she loved his eyes. His eyes were irresistible to her. It was her weakness, her kryptonite. If their kids ended up having his puppy eyes, she’d be in so much trouble.
But again, the thought of having a mini Ross running around the house certainly wasn’t such a bad idea. Ever since he told her his future plan for them, though she stated firmly she didn’t want her life to be planned out by someone else, now it kind of stuck in her head. Maybe instead of two children, they could have three? She wondered.
Ross’ smiles grew bigger. “Yeah?”
“Yeah..” She replied softly. “Oh, and you know. I wish they will be smart just like their father.”
“And beautiful like their mother..” He said before giving her another kiss.
She rested her head into his chest and sighed, wondering when this dream of theirs would turn into a reality. Little did she know, her dreams did become a reality years later, but not in a way she could’ve ever imagined it would be.
“I know..” She said softly and almost tearfully this time as memories of their past flooded her mind. He noticed her tears and a part of him regretted bringing out their past. He still didn’t know whether she forgave him for what he did on their anniversary, he never asked, just because he didn’t want to hurt her. Or perhaps, because he was dreadful for her answer.
The room once again fell into a silence and now it was her turn to break it.
“So what’s your question?”
“Huh?” He was brought back from his reverie when suddenly she asked him that.
“You said you want to ask me about something?” She reminded him.
“Ah, right..” He chuckled nervously. “About that, can you give me five minutes? I have something to give you.”
“Sure.”
......
February, 1997
A very excited Ross was walking through the busy streets of New York with a goofy smile on his face, completely lost in his own thoughts. It was his and Rachel’s anniversary in a week and he was here to pick up something special for her. Something he knew she’d never return. Something hopefully she would kept forever.
Arriving at his destination, Ross quickly made his way in and a much older man greeted him with a smile.
“Can I help you, Sir?”
“Yes.” Ross answered almost immediately. “I’m here to pick up an order under the name Ross Geller.”
“Ah, yes.” The old man smiled. “We have your order ready, Mr. Geller. Please wait a moment.”
Ross observed the piece of jewelry on his hand carefully and meticulously, not wanting to find any kinds of flaws on it. He wanted this to be perfect. It had to be perfect if it was for her.
“This is perfect.” Ross finally said after giving it a thorough look.
“It’s an excellent choice, Sir.” The man informed him. “The lady is surely one lucky lady.”
“No.” He smiled back. “I am the lucky one.”
Present Ross was trying hard to find that same object he had been carefully chosen years ago, but sadly never got the chance to even show her to. The night he wanted to give that to her was the night they broke up. The same night he made a mistake he wished he could take back every single day.
He opened the drawer to his night stand and that was when his eyes caught the object. It was hidden in the back of his drawer alongside with other sentimental objects he kept related to her. The only drawer with a lock on it and no one, except for him, had seen the belongings inside it.
His own version of Rachel’s box.
He opened the small blue velvet box and finally revealed the jewelry inside it.
A beautiful one carat diamond ring with their names crafted inside the band.
‘Ross and Rachel’
He sighed as memories of the past flashed back into his mind when they were still young and had no clues about what to hit them in a week. Oh, if only he proposed sooner, would things be different right now?
He shook his head. No, this wasn’t the time for him to dwell on his past. He still could fix this. He took out the ring in his hand, observing every detail of it, imagining what it would look like on her.
“Pefect.” He smiled to himself.
After making sure the ring was still perfect, he closed the box, kept it safely in his pocket, and before he made his way out, he took the last deep breath, hoping only for the best.
Meanwhile, Rachel was getting impatient. She needed to go to work early in the morning tomorrow and she really, really needed some sleep. She was exhausted. She was about to call his name when finally she saw him emerge into the living room, looking somewhat very nervous.
They exchanged a smile before he made his way to the couch, sitting next to her with his body facing her. Without further due, he revealed the box that had been previously hidden in his pocket and gave it to her, gaining a quizzical look from her.
“What’s this?” She asked as she observed the box carefully.
The small velvet box looked like a jewelry box that they usually used to keep small jewelry such as rings and maybe earrings. The box however, judging by its looks, had been sitting around for years.
“It’s something I always wanted to give to you, but never got the chance to.” He explained briefly. “Just open it.”
She felt a lump on her throat when she heard his explanation.
“.. never got the chance to.”
Those words lingered in her head for a while, until a soft gasp managed to escape from her mouth.
Did he?
No, he wouldn’t. There were a lot of objects that would easily fit into that small box. Maybe a pair of earrings? Or, or a small locket! Whatever was that, it couldn’t possibly be a ring. She almost laughed even thinking about it. What was she thinking? They weren’t even together. Why would he give her a ring? No, he wouldn’t. She quickly dismissed the thought.
She stole a glance at him and he gave her a smile, silently urging her to open the box. With the last deep breath, she finally opened the box, revealing the piece of jewelry inside it. As soon as the jewelry revealed itself, her mouth was left agape. She froze.
It was a ring.
With her shaky hand, she grabbed the small piece of jewelry into her hand and as she observed it closely, she could see their names engraved inside the band. She immediately knew what kind of ring this was.
It was an engagement ring.
And that meant, he was proposing to her, like right now?
‘Of course he wanted to get married, the guy loves marriage!’ She almost screamed to herself.
She was both speechless and taken aback by the sudden turn of events. This was not how she imagined Ross proposed to her.
During the year she dated Ross, probably just like any woman deeply in love, once in a while she let herself imagine about how he’d proposed. From their first date, she had this strong feeling within her, telling her that he was the one. He was the man she was going to marry and that was it.
She let herself wonder after he told her he knew they’d ended up together on the day they exchanged their first ‘I love yous’, confirming her own feelings about their relationship. She couldn’t help but wonder how or where he’d proposed, what kind of speech he’d give her-which she was sure it would be so hard for her not to cry, he was always good with his words.
Ross could be very romantic, it was one of the things that surprised her the most about him. To the outside world, he might look like a shy man, a little bit nerdy perhaps, but after she dated him, it revealed so much more sides of him she didn’t know existed. He could be very romantic, very sexy, and well surprisingly a very great lover. But his romantic side was what she found endearing.
She knew, when he did propose, he was going to make it romantic. He’d probably done some kind of a grand gesture or done something meaningful at least. She knew how sentimental he could be, that was another thing she loved about him. He remembered so much stuff about her, even when she herself sometimes couldn’t even remember. She loved how he cared so much about their relationship, about the history they’ve shared.
But of course, she could only dream about it. She waited and waited, and those proposals sadly never came..
Well... Until today...
She still tried to wrap this around her head. What was he meant by this? They hadn’t even had the talk about getting back together yet and he was already asking her to marry him?
They still had so many things to talk about. That includes the forbidden topic they hadn’t discussed in years.
Their break up.
Over the years, she had learnt to make peace with it. It still hurt whenever she remembered it, but she had learnt to forgive him. She realized he didn’t do it on purpose and that their relationship was restrained, but she didn’t do much to salvage it. She was too busy with her work, and over the years, she realized her part of the break up. But it didn’t mean they shouldn’t talk about the matter anymore. They still needed to talk about the issue, making sure it wouldn’t be a problem in the future.
They needed to forgive each other, forgive themselves in order to move on to a new chapter of their relationship. They needed to figure out how to make their relationship work. To make sure the same mistakes they made wouldn’t be repeated.
They would have a child together in nine months, they weren’t young and carefree anymore, they had a child to be responsible for. She couldn’t just marry him and skipped all of those crucial steps. It was just too risky. Their stakes were higher now and she couldn’t risk it. Especially when she wasn’t sure why he’d proposed.
Did he just ask her to marry him just because she was pregnant? Out of obligation?
Her heart sank just by the thought of it. This was the least thing she wanted. She didn’t want him to feel obligated to marry her just because she was pregnant. She wanted to marry him for the right reason. Because they were in love.
“Wha-.. Uhm.. What is this?” Her voice was barely a whisper, still finding it hard to process what was happening here.
“It’s an engagement ring.”
She looked into his eyes, to find any sign of jokes on it, hoping that he’d finally laughed and told her that it was all just a joke. But much to her disappointment, he was dead serious. She hadn’t seen such a serious look on his face in a while. She gulped as she realized how serious this situation was.
Her face suddenly softened when she imagined how devastated he’d be when she turned down the proposal.
Yes, it was true, she had some feelings back for him the moment she found out she was pregnant with his child. She had been secretly watching him more often ever since. She watched him during the wedding, how he danced with so many kids. He was always good with children. Then she watched him dance with his own son at some point, which instantly warmed her heart even more, thinking how one day he'd be dancing with their kids. Ben’s little sister or brother.
‘He’d make a great father for this baby. He already was a great father to Ben.’ She thought to herself that moment.
In a room full of people, her eyes would only fixate on him, watching his every move, laughing the hardest at his jokes, realizing how incredibly funny he was. She watched him interact with Monica and Chandler, thinking how great a brother and brother-in-law he was being. He had always been so supportive of them.
She watched him blabbered about his job even though none of their friends paid so much attention to his story, but she did. She loved how passionate he was about his job.
During those times, she remembered all the reasons why she fell in love with him. The reasons why after all those years, it was so easy for her to fall back in love with him, why it was so hard to get over him. Why was he different from any other men she had ever met.
She knew in her heart that she wanted to start things up with him again. But a marriage was so much different. She wasn’t sure they were both ready for such a commitment. Well, at least for now. Not when they had so many unresolved issues between them.
“Ross..” She called his name weakly, not knowing how to say these things without hurting him. “I don’t think I can.” She paused to regain her composure. “We can’t. I mean, I don’t think it’s right for us to get married just because I’m pregnant.”
She was expecting a somewhat sad look from him, but instead she got a small smile.
“No, I know.” He began. “I’m not asking you to marry me right now.” Seeing the bewildered look on her face, he decided to continue. “What I want to ask you tonight is for you to give us another chance. To once again allow us to be us again.” He explained further and her lips curved into a smile as her eyes were getting watery. He reached to find her free hand and held it on him. “And the ring is.. Well, it's sort of my commitment to you- which can be yours when you’re ready in the future. I am willing to make this work between us. I will try my best to love you, to hopefully fix what I’ve broken.” He found it really hard to say his next words, but he knew he needed her to hear this, to hear how serious he was being right now. “To regain your trust back..”
This probably would be the hardest challenge for him. He knew he broke her trust that night he slept with the copy girl. He knew how much he had hurt not only her, but their relationship that night. But now, if she let him, he’d try his best to regain her trust back.
“I know it’s not going to be easy, but I know we can do this, Rach.” He continued. “I love you so much and I want to be with you.”
For once, he let himself out there, revealing all his feelings he had for her, hoping that she’d somehow reciprocate his feelings back. He was very anxious at the moment, he really, really wanted to hear her say those three words back to him.
She smiled at him and she could no longer hold her tears. Instead of answering him, she cupped his face and brought her lips to his. It only took him a split second to register what was happening and kissed her back, holding her by her waist as he did so.
Still having her hands over his cheeks, when they finished the kiss, she pulled back to look at him straight in the eyes. “I love you too.” She said whilst holding back her tears. “We’ll find a way to work this out, okay?” He nodded, tears too started to form in his eyes at this point. Happy tears. “Good, because I don’t think I can lose you again.”
“Yeah, me too. ” He agreed. “I will never let you go again, I promise.”
They looked at each other for a while as they could hardly contain their tears.
“Come here.”
They fell into each other’s embrace, releasing all the longings they had been resisting for years, absorbing the moment, taking it all in.
.......
One year later
“Hey sweetie, I think we ran out of Emma’s diapers. I’m gonna run to the store real quick. Do you need anything else?” Ross said as he popped his head into the bedroom they had been sharing for the past six months now and that was when he found her sitting by the side of her bed. “Hey.. What’s wrong.” He approached her slowly when she didn’t answer. "Are you okay?"
She let out a happy sigh and stared at the man she proudly called his boyfriend for over a year now and she was grateful each day that they decided to give them another try.
Things went really well for them after they decided to get back together again. They both were willing to take things slowly this time, just enjoying each other’s present for now. It was only two months after they got back together they told their closest friends the news. All of them of course were thrilled about the couple’s reunion, especially Phoebe who already insisted on playing a few songs at their wedding.
As Ross and Rachel took things slow, they went for a date, late night movies, walks in the Central Park, or even casual visits during lunch hours. He had been extra caring knowing she was pregnant and she wouldn’t mind. They went to every single doctor appointment together as he promised, marveling how much their little peanuts had grown bigger by weeks.
He was there through the mood swings, through all the midnight cravings, through all her worries about being a mom, and well through ‘The Evander Holyfield’ phase as Phoebe referred to it as. Well, he wasn’t going to complain about the last one, wasn’t he?
At one point, around her second trimester, to make it easier and comfortable for both of them, Ross asked Rachel to move in with her. Around the same time, they also decided to tell each of their parents about the pregnancy. Judy and Jack Geller, of course thrilled by the idea, they always loved Rachel, though they weren't quite sure why the two lovebirds didn’t want to tie the knot right away.
Meanwhile, on the other side, Rachel’s mom, Sandra, also welcomed the news pretty well. She was so over the moon of the thought of having a little grandchild. She was even there during the baby shower, giving her support to her eldest daughter. And lastly, telling Dr. Green was their biggest fear. They had a few arguments at first as Dr.Green obviously didn’t take the news pretty well and started yelling to Ross, causing him to almost fall from his chairs when it happened. But after some long speech from Ross, Dr.Green finally gave him a blessing, but not without a stern warning. He practically gave Ross a death threat if Ross ever was going to hurt his little pumpkin again.
Finally, after twenty hours of labor, they could finally meet their baby daughter, Emma. Everything just became better for this family ever since she was born. Emma was their everything.
“Uh-hmm.” She gave him a smile as she motioned for him to join her. As soon as he sat next to her, they sat facing each other and she took his hands into hers as she played with his fingers.
It took him a few seconds to realize what she was doing. Or what she was wearing to be exact.
He immediately took her left hand into his and smiled widely at her as he did so.
“Did you?”
“Yes!” She couldn’t contain her excitement any longer.
A year ago, he gave her this ring so one day whenever she was ready, she could wear it and well, gave him the final answer. He waited for her to be ready and he wasn’t going to push her even though deep down he wanted to marry her in the first month they were back together. But of course what mattered the most was her opinion. He wanted to make sure she was ready.
And it looked like his wait was finally over.
“Yes?” He had to ask once again, making sure he wasn’t dreaming.
“Yes!” She repeated with the biggest smile on her face.
It was all that took him to lean in and kiss her. Finally, he got the answer he was always looking for since he was fifteen. Since the first time he saw her again that summer break in high school where he never thought his heart could beat that fast only by seeing her smile.
Sadly, their first kiss as an engaged couple was cut short by the cries coming out from the baby monitor. They smiled at each other, both realizing they couldn’t do things like they used to be anymore. But of course, they wouldn’t have it any other way.
THE END