GRADUATION DAY:
HEAVEN'S POV:
I stood between all my classmates while they gossiped. Everyone was chatting, chuckling with each other while I stood in the corner, trying to avoid all kinds of contacts with everyone, clasping my fingers together. The hall was full of noises but my world felt so silent. I prevented tears from running out of my eyes at all cost. My heart was aching so much, I missed dada's presence so much.
I looked over at where all family members of different students sat, waving at them through the crowd. I inhaled sharply, closing my eyes, reciting those words in my head, “I can do it. If I made it till here, I'm sure I can keep it up”
I plastered a smile on my face, gripping my rob tightly. Once again, I scanned the place, nobody's here. I don't think Ariana will make it, she has other works to do. It's okay, I understand. I sighed, turning around while everyone made their way up one by one as their names were called. I'm glad most of the students made it, our professors really worked had for us to pass somehow.
Names were announced and I was ready, mentally preparing myself for going up there. Just before it was my name to be announced, I flashed a look around the place once again, continuing to walk as soon as my name echoed around.
With every click of my step on the floor, I found myself being more confident about what I hold today. A very small accomplishment but a big milestone in this journey that I have to pursue in my life ahead.
My eyes were restless searching around for someone, I don't know who but they wanted a peace to pursue working. I took my degree in my arms, finally taking a breathe in relief. I worked days and nights to prove myself, finally I did it.
A smile appeared on my face as I stood there admiring it with my name written on it. The professor cleared his throat, smiling while I while I stood in middle of the place. Oh! I forgot I have to move.
I couldn't take my eyes off my degree. Dad, I finally made it. I sighed in relief, walking down with others. I remember when I first began schooling I was younger than all my classmates, most of them being at least two years older. Many people suggested my dad to withdraw me from schools for a little while so that I grow up a bit but dad always believed on me, my craze for my work, towards my studies. Even though I had many problems like my classmates bullying me and being ignored but I never gave up on my goals, for everyday, I was more determined to maintain that pride of my dad, forever.
I couldn't stop my expressions flashing on my face while I was getting happier and happier than ever, finally being a graduate.
••••
Everyone was outside in the university ground, taking pictures and already celebrating their day. So many classmates of mine came to wish me and ask me the reason why I'm alone. I couldn't explain much so I decided to stand in the corner of the place, stealing glances of everyone, uniting with their families.
“Heaven” a voice rang in my ears and I began running my sight around to know where it came from. I found myself turning around when it occurred once again,
“Heaven Eloise, this way. ” I turned around and found Ariana with a charming bouquet in her arm and sweet smile on her face. She was dressed up in formals, her coat hanging over her shoulders while she couldn't stop smiling.
“Congratulations” she uttered, overjoyed as I couldn't contain back my tears and ran in her arms, hugging her while loosing my control over my emotions. I sniffed in some air, crying my heart out on her chest after I saw someone whom I know in this strange looking world.
“Hey! What's going on? Why are you crying? I thought you'd like these flowers” she spoke, hugging me back and stoking my hairs.
“It's okay. Look I finally made it. I'm sorry we got little late.” she continued to stroke my back while I pulled away, wiping away my tears.
“Thank you so much for being here” I uttered in my shaky voice.
“It's my pleasure to be seen with an elite student of this uni” she complemented, bringing a beam of smile on my face.
I noticed, almost whole campus was now full of men in black coloured uniforms, looking like bodyguards. She handed me the bouquet, full of dazzling smell of pink roses that signified happiness in this way ahead.
“Come on, a happy graduation pic for you” she cheered up, taking out her phone and telling me to smile. I already messed up crying, still tried to flash my teeth to look better.
“So pretty” she mumbled, scrolling through those images we just took.
•••
Finally, I'm back, away from the outside world. I love being alone in this little corner of silence. Ariana had to go back because she had a meeting. I don't think I should have asked her to come, she's a business woman and of course is so busy whole day with meetings. She's so sweet for remembering this day for me.
I glanced over at my degree, thinking about those times when I worked with all my strength to achieve this level of satisfaction. I know dada is proud of me too. But now, I've to start the real journey of my life. I'll have to look for a job. Wasting my time by admiring the success will make my ground weak, I'll have to continue till I don't get what I want.
Standing up, I went towards the table where my laptop was kept and picked it up, bring it to the bed, sitting comfortably.
I inhaled sharply. I have to look for a job or maybe an intern training form. Even though my age and experience will be problematic for me but I'll try my best to find one.
There are so many companies offering jobs but all of them require a good experience to compete. God! This is going to take long.
Switching from sites to sites and pages, I ended up taking a nap on that comfortable warm bed. I need some time to reprogram myself after spending this bulk time outside of my comfort zone, around people.
•••
I woke up to my phone ringing on full blast on the nightstand, making my room feel like a battlefield. Rest in peace, my nap. I picked it up and answered it without paying any attention towards the name.
“Hello? ” I answered, picking it up.
“How was your day? ” a voice went penetrating through my ears and I closed my eyes, annoyed and irritated.
“Better than yours, Kian. ” I replied, keeping my voice high and bold. His breathy laugh could be sensed from the other side as if he found something really amusing. I rolled my eyes, deciding to decline the call, right when he ranted once again,
“Heaven, why do you have to be so difficult, we're finally going to start our lives, don't you think you should humble yourself? ”
My eyes narrowed and my urge to beat him through the phone rose, soaring high. I breathed in and replied back with the same energy,
“Is this preach for you? If it is, for the first time ever, I agree”
“Listen here, with this attitude of yours, you'll never get along with anyone ever and will remain the same way as you are now, dumb and single”
I chuckled at his point, doubting if he's sober.
“At least I'll die single and happy, not with diseases like STD and AIDS because a part of me was always inside someone else's body. ”
I believe my comment ended up all his words that were ready to flow out like dirt. He's such a waste of time, why am I even arguing with a person like him.
“Anyways, I didn't call you for this bullshit. My family is holding a charity event this weekend, you're invited. Mom sent that invitation thing to you. ”
No matter how much of an asshole he is, his parents are just polar opposites. They have always been on my side whenever Kian tried to create any trouble for me. It's been quite long since I visited them because they were out of the country and I think this is a good time to visit them.
“If you don't show up, nobody will give a damn, rest is your will”
“Goodbye”
I hung up, not waiting for this cycle to continue and go on forever. I sighed, opening the message from Kian's mom and replied a thank you for the invitation. I can't imagine how Kian can be so different from his parents, his mom does everything for him and still, he's here, acting like a dumbass.
I sighed, looking around while I found my poor laptop kicked to the corner of the bed. I almost forgot I was looking for a job. Naps take me to another dimension sometimes. I picked it up and straightened my back, paying attention once again to what I was doing.
I'll start with learning positions where I get to learn more and more about my work, I will have to be experienced to be better. I have no clue on how we work in big companies and firms, all I know is they have coffee machines. Lord! Bless me with some wisdom, what do I do now?
Most of my classmates already had a job position they applied for and here I am, lurking around.
Slowly, my job hunt turned into an life questioning and overthinking session. What if I don't get a job on time? I don't want to seem like a burden on people. What will everyone think of me?
I inhaled sharply, closing my eyes and sighed, focused back. All these companies have already closed their applications, I'm late. I don't think these small companies are hiring anymore, now it's time to look for some big places even though there will be a tough competition between all the candidates and a thin chance of me being selected.
I heard a knock on the door that distracted me from the screen and I glanced over at the person standing there.
“Can I come in? ” Ariana asked me while she held a folder in her arms. I nodded, smiling as she advanced in, towards my bed and placed the folder in front of me.
“Here are your images of the ceremony. I got them all in this ” she spoke, opening it and sitting by my side.
“Thank you so much. You have done so much for me-” I began with my immense emotional message on what this means to me but was cut short by her,
“Come on! You're saying as if I put you in some debt by doing this. I would love to be their for when you need me. What were you doing? ” she asked, peeking in and then settled back on her place, sighing.
“You just graduated. Let your brain have some air”
“I want to start with doing something, I can't sit here like a burden. ”
Her expressions hardened and she frowned, narrowing her eyes at me,
“Says the girl with A's in all her subjects. You're a part of this family now and family is never a burden, Heaven. I don't think Julian will appreciate this word from you” she crossed her arms.
I know Ariana, you'll understand this, but deep inside, I'll always feel worthless if I don't fit in the criterions that'll frame my life later on. My face got dulled and I began worrying more.
“If you want a job, I can help you. We have positions for assistants and interns available in one of our magazine companies. I can assign you one, if you find it accurate. It's not a hectic task, just follow your seniors like ghost for few months and you'll learn. ” she raised her eyebrows, waiting for my reply in curiosity.
My eyes froze at her. How can she casually offer me a position in one of the majestic magazine companies of the country? I felt so small in front of the proposal, so untalented to even accept it with a yes. I didn't know how to reply or instead I must say, what to reply with.
“Are you willing? If you are, I'll get arrangements done. ” she began.
I breathed in sharply and then replied,
“Thank you so much Ariana. But I don't want to start my life with something I didn't even fight for. If you don't mind, I would like to compete with other candidates in the interview. ”
She smiled, nodding her head in acceptance.
“I'm glad you think this way. I'll send you the application link where you can apply. Interviews are expected to be held by the end of this month. Good luck! ”
She stood up and walked out of the room. Before she closed the door, she looked back and beamed once again.
I tapped my fingers endlessly on my laptop, trying to prepare myself for the challenges ahead. I really wish if I had someone who could help me right now. I have so many things to talk, so many things to share out of this overflowing emotion tank. But I don't think I have anyone other than my teddy bears that I kept under the blanket. I miss you so much dad. I wish you were here with me, on this special evening. I know if he was here, we would be partying with music at its full volume.
A smile crept across my face but tears dominated their presence firmly by occupying my eyes. I decided not to cry for I'm finally going to do what dad dreamt for me, what I wanted to do. I stood up, taking my laptop along with me and placed it back on the desk.
I stretched, looking around. I think I will sit in shower for few hours till it's time for dinner. I want to have a good sleep so that I don't end up waking up in midnight.
JULIAN'S POV:
Brush softly glided over the canvas while I didn't intent to put much effort, just glancing out in the valley of fog and dispersed darkness. My tired eyes barely had strength to focus on the painting right now but I felt like carrying it on. The windows opens in each side allowed the fresh air from the nature to swindle the curtains while it gushed in.
It's been so long since I spent some time alone, just busy with what my work asks for. I think that's the reason I get irritated so easily. I placed the brush aside and advanced towards the window where I felt more peace.
“Julian” a voice entered and turned around to see who it was. Dante stood outside of my room while holding his gym towel.
“Aren't you coming for the practice today? ” he asked, pointing the way.
I nodded, walking out ofmy room towards him. We were on our way out just when someone interrupted once again,
“Don. I'm so sorry for interrupting rudely. ” a maid voiced, giving a worried look.
“What is it? ” I asked.
“Don, I've been knocking on Miss Heaven's door for five minutes but she's not answering. The door is locked as well” she explained and now her worry was transferred inside me.
What happened this time? I hope she's alright, nothing like last time. I left them both there, heading straight towards her room, upstairs. Inevitable thoughts fogged my mind while I reached closer to her room. I don't know what this girl is doing in there and who adviced her to lock the door when she's aware of her condition well.
I frowned in frustration as I stood in front if her door. I knocked once, calling out her name,
“Heaven, open the door. ”
There was no one to reply. That's it, I don't have much patience. I slammed the door with my side and broke in at once.
The room was empty and cold with lights turned on and all the windows close. Where's she?
I heard drizzle of water inside the shower as if someone was in there. The sound vanished as soon as it turned off and I heard a click on knob of the door.
I turned around and saw the washroom door creak open slowly, revealing a gleaming body, stepping out the shower with a short towel draping her petite body, restricting my sight that went from those wet legs to that shimmering face.
Her hairs all tied up had few strands wet, on her small face over her eyes that didn't notice me here yet. My eyes felt hypnotised towards her as she finally came out, her hands holding her towel on her almost revealing chest. I'm such a shameless person, I thought, but my eyes thought otherwise. The soft smell of her soap made this whole view more alive and enchanting.
Her eyes drifted from her towel towards me and she jumped in shock, gripping the fabric tightly with a scream.
“I'm sorry. Actually- ” I began, lowering my eyes from her and looking away after I successfully convinced myself to do so. She squirmed endlessly, trying to pull the towel below to cover herself as much as possible. I made her uncomfortable.
“You weren't answering so I decided to check.” I explained, peeking a glance at her blushing red face.
“You can change in my room, the door is not in good condition here” I continued as she nodded, quickly grabbing her clothes and rushed out.
What was that? I sighed, trying to get a hold on myself. Why did I start to act like perverts, I should have left as soon as I found she was in here. I promised her dad to make her feel like family but I'm out here making her feel uncomfortable.
There's no way I'll let beauty distract me so easily. For the work I do, there's no place for distractions and nor do I have any time for them. Next time, I'll make sure there's no such thing happening from my side. It'll be against my word.
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