End of file
No, no, no, no, no, Loki's mind raced with rage and fear as he saw the Titan he thought he'd never see again. This couldn't be his end. He needed to know what happened after. What happened to you.
Loki's hair whipped across his face as he jerked his head back and forth, looking from the device to the screen. This couldn't be it. There must be more.
Loki scrambled over to the device while somehow managing not to trip over his feet. The chair skid as he pushed himself into it. His eyes darted around the device. He knew somewhat how it worked.
Pressing a few buttons and hoping for some luck, Loki couldn't help but sigh in relief when a keyboard popped up. Loki didn't hesitate to type in your name.
Thousands of clips popped up under your name in his life reel. He debated on watching all of them but he knew he didn't really have the time. Mobius or one of those other quacks would find him soon enough, so he decided to just watch all of the important ones. He needed to see you.
So he filtered it to show top life moments. His eyes flew to the first clip. Ahh, he recognized it well. Your family had come from their planet to set their daughter up with the future King of Asgard. Loki chuckled to himself... too bad for them that you so happened to fall in love with the younger brother. The outcast. Him.
Loki momentarily worried if you were with Thor now. That if he just disappeared as he did, would your two families force the reunion even more? Loki had to know what was to come of you two. He knew that whatever was on these clips showed this scared timeline everyone was talking about.
So he played the first clip.
You had drowned out your parents' voices. A vacation they said. You almost let out a scoff. You weren't stupid. You may only be a child but that doesn't mean you're stupid.
You eyed your suitor thoughtfully. He was short for his age. Only a little shorter than you. He was blonde. His hair was fairly bright but that didn't mean it looked bad. You could already tell he was a... loud child.
You swore you could hear him for a full minute before he barged into Odin's throne room to meet you and your family.
Another boy had come in with him. He was much taller and very lean. Black hair. Green eyes. He looked nothing like his parents. But you thought perhaps he got his grandparents traits instead. It could happen.
You kept trying to look for that boy. But he was managing to hide perfectly behind his parents and the blonde boy known as Thor. A loud name as well. But as you watched Odin you thought maybe the other boy was rather being hid than hiding.
Looking up at your parents who were deep in conversation with Odin and Frigga, you manage to sneak away from their side. Luckily Thor wasn't paying attention either. He looked incredibly interested in what his father was saying. You scoff under your breath as you creep around Thor's parents.
Feeling a pair of eyes on you, you stop. Slowly looking up you see Frigga looking down at you. Your eyes can't help but widen. But all she does is send you a knowing smile and a small nod. Furrowing your brows, you walk past her, hoping she couldn't hear your thoughts.
As you pass her you see the boy standing with his hands behind his back and his eyes cast down. His stance was regal despite his age. You often found posture annoying.
"Hello," you say quietly. The boy snaps his head up to look at you. He looks up at his father before back to you, his eyes blown wide.
"What are you doing?" He asked, slightly panicked. You look around before settling back on him.
"Saying hello," you explain simply. He shakes his head.
"You should not be here and you should not be talking to me," he then explains. You take a step toward him, a smile making its way on your face.
"And why not?"
"Because your Thor's." Your smile drops. Your eyes darken and your fists squeeze tightly.
"I belong to no one but myself! I may look at who I want to. I may talk to who I want to. I may give my heart to whomever I choose. And no one can tell me otherwise. Not you, not your father, not my parents, and definitely not Thor," you rant as quietly as possible. The boy looks positively shocked to say the least. Almost if he couldn't believe it. His jaw dropped but he looked as if he didn't know what to say.
"Alright," he eventually manages. You smile again.
"Now what's your name, boy?" You question. The boy smiles, his mouth slanted crookedly. Mischief glittered in his eyes and you knew you two were going to make fast friends.
"I'm Loki. Loki Odinson," he introduced, his smile making your heart beat just a little bit quicker.
A sudden yelp interrupted your conversation with Loki. You jerk your head over, noticing your mothers screech. She called out your name.
"Where are you, dear? Where has she gone!" Then suddenly all the adults were scrambling about looking for you until Frigga moved away to reveal you two. Your mother gasped as if horrified and Odin grunted out.
"Get away from her, boy!" He shouted in outrage. Your mother bustled over to you. She bent down to your height and squeezed the grip she now had on your arm.
"Don't you talk to that boy, dear. He is nothing but trouble. You're not to talk to him again, do you understand me? Your focus needs to be on Thor," she instructs strictly. You look back over your shoulder to see Loki looking at you as Odin leads him out of the throne room, Odin's shouts almost as loud as Thor.
"Yes mother," you murmur.
Loki let out a shaky exhale. You had absolutely thrilled him. You were a breath of fresh air when it seemed like everyone else, besides his mother and Thor, were sick of him.
After that you were ordered to stay in the castle and be raised there. Your parents had to return to their kingdom but you were to stay and get to know Thor and the culture of Asgard.
But as the years passed, you continued to not be taken by Thor. You rather liked silence and stealth. Loki admired that. It's what made you two so close. Neither of you had to speak and you would still enjoy each other's company. Plus, you loved causing chaos with him.
As you and Loki got older, his feelings for you grew and grew. And being denied much growing up, Loki has a tendency to be possessive. He was jealous. That you and Thor were still meant to be married. He wanted that with you. He wanted you for himself. He wanted you to feel what he felt for you. But he didn't know how to find out without making himself vulnerable. That he just couldn't do.
The next clip was a ball Loki remembered all too well.
You watched all the young couples dancing and enjoying each other's embrace. You heard all the laughter ringing in the air. You wanted that. All of it.
Your eyes unintentionally fall onto Thor. Your lip curls up on its own. Thor was perhaps the loudest one there. His boisterous laughter even louder than usual due to all the alcohol he's been consuming. You find it's rather hard for an Asgardian to get drunk, unlike your people who were rather thin-blooded. And yet, Thor somehow manages to get absolutely hammered every time.
You shake your head, not wanting to watch him make a fool of himself any longer. You look down at your dark green dress. Frigga had brought it for you. Said a special night deserves a special dress. You didn't question the colors of the dress, nor why she gave you this dress instead of making it Thor's bright red. You didn't question it because you didn't want to.
You wanted to wear Loki's colors. You wanted to be Loki's and you wanted Loki to be yours. You and Loki had grown up incredibly close, despite not being allowed to talk to each other.
You two would meet up deep within the palace. Most of the time you would do something quiet. You both enjoyed the quiet. Sometimes both of you would be doing your own thing but you wanted to do it together. Sometimes you two would talk for hours, keeping your voices low so as to not attract any guards.
Other times you two were quiet but caused others to be loud. You enjoyed causing trouble. At first it stemmed from resentment towards your parents for leaving you on an unknown planet away from your people. But the more time you spent messing around with Loki, the more you enjoyed it.
And then the more you enjoyed it, you found yourself enjoying him even more. His company. His cleverness. His charm. It was subtle. It snuck up on you like a snake and before you even knew it, you were poisoned by affection. And you were happily poisoned. You loved the venom running through your veins, reminding you constantly of your feelings for him.
You hated that you were still expected to marry Thor. You had never caught feelings for the loud god of thunder. He truly lived up to his name. His voice boomed as did his laugh and as did his powers. It grew tiring despite how much you genuinely enjoyed Thor as a friend. You couldn't handle his lively spirit. Definitely not enough to vow to be his for your entire life.
You were so deep in your thoughts that you couldn't help but jump in surprise as hands circled around your waist. You heard a dark chuckle and immediately relaxed into Loki's hold. You look back and as you expected, there was Loki, looking down at you, his eyes sparkling with adoration.
"How are you doing this evening, dear?" He asked, voice smooth like silk. You melt further into his arms but plaster a smirk on your face.
"I'm fine. What're you doing here, Loki? You know we're not meant to talk," you remind him with a teasing lift of your smile. Loki rolls his eyes before they fall back onto you; his hands squeeze your waist.
"When have we ever cared about that rule?" He asked tauntingly. His smirk widened when you hesitated to answer. You clear your throat, quickly looking around the busy room.
"Since you wrapped your arms around me in a ballroom filled with people who could tell me mother what she saw tonight," you replied, your voice rather clipped. His brows rise.
"Do you wish for me to remove them?" He asks slowly, his hands starting to let you go. Your face drops into worry and your hands snap themselves over his own to keep them at your waist.
"No," you reply quickly. Loki smirks and shifts you closer against his chest. He leans down, mouth close to your ear. You forcefully repress your shiver.
"That's what I thought." You turn your head to look up at him, looking into his eyes that are so much closer to you than you originally thought. You gaze into that enchanting green, the mischief sparkling in them.
"But you better be careful or my mother may call me back home," you spoke slightly, teasingly. Loki rolled his eyes as a loud scoff escaped him. When his eyes fell back on you, there was a bitterness in them.
"Oh please, they wouldn't take you away from Thor." Your face dropped. It felt as if a bucket of ice water from Jotunheim was dumped over your body. With your hands still over his, you quickly take them off your waist. You see Loki's face form into a scowl as he watches the movement and looks even more irritated as you take a step away from him.
"Right," you snap, looking back out towards the other dancers. Your eyes trail back over to where Thor was talking but it seems as if he moved. You look around for him. It was probably smart to spend some time with him or else Odin was going to send another message to your mother.
Loki kept clearing his throat, looking around, trying to gain back your attention. He tried stepping up to you but always hesitated. You tried to ignore him. You didn't like talking about Thor with him. It only reminded you that you didn't get to choose who you wanted to be with.
Eventually it seemed Loki gained the courage to speak.
"Darling, I didn't mean-"
"There you are!" A mighty voice rang out. You wince, turning your back to Loki to look at an oncoming Thor. His smile was wide and his hands full of alcohol. Thor walked up to you and carefully kissed your cheek. It was then he saw Loki. "Ah! Brother, hello." He looked between you two. "And what are you two talking about this fine evening?" You saw this as your chance out. You didn't want to keep feeling so awkward around Loki.
"Loki was just asking me for a dance," you start, making Thor look at Loki in surprise. "But I thought it wise that my intended be my first dance this evening," you spoke, keeping your voice interested despite your back being tense.
"Princess—" Loki tried, stepping up to your side.
"Come now, brother. You wouldn't keep my fiancé from me, would you?" Thor asked. And although he looked serious, the more you looked, the more he looked like he was joking. You hesitantly look over at Loki. His eyes darkened, his posture straightened, his fists and jaw clenched.
"Of course not," he says lowly. You gulp, looking back to Thor who's now smiling at you widely. Thor holds out his arm.
"Let us dance!"
As you and Thor walk onto the floor, the orchestra makes sure to play slow music. You almost want to groan in annoyance but you hold yourself back. As you and Thor get into position, his chuckle shocks you. You look at him wide-eyed.
"I do love to see my brother jealous," Thor notes. Your brows furrow.
"Pardon?" You ask as if you hadn't seen his reaction. Thor chuckles once again and shakes his head.
"Do not act a fool, Princess. I've noticed you and Loki's affections over the years for I am no fool either." He nods to your even more shocked face. You shake your head slowly.
"Loki has admitted no such affections," you argue. Thor's face shines with understanding.
"Yet you still know they are there."
"I know nothing," you reply quickly with a shake of your head. Thor raises a perfectly defined brow.
"It is obvious! As are your affections for him. Though I do not believe he knows he is the one to truly hold your heart as you know you hold his," he speaks, his eyes drifting off past your shoulder. You look at him, puzzled. You had always made your actions to Loki clear. He should've been able to see you feel the same way.
"What makes you think that?" You ask, but are never able to get an answer.
"May I cut in?" A voice seemingly dipped in velvet appears before you two. Your head jerks to the side to see Loki, dauntingly tall, hover over the two of you. You swallow thickly, glancing at Thor. He nods, though you didn't need his approval, you just needed a reason to think this through. But as you look into Loki's eyes, you find yourself nodding. Loki grins and slides to the side, quickly taking Thor's place. It's faint as your focus remains on Loki but you swore you heard Thor laugh as he left.
The world seemed to melt away as you and Loki danced across the floor. You weren't worried about other dancers or who may tell your mother. All of your focus was on him. His eyes. Every part of him was beautiful. You looked into each other's eyes for who knows how long. But eventually he spoke.
"I didn't like seeing you dance with Thor," he mentioned. A spark of hope lit up in your chest as your brows rose.
"Really? I thought he was a fine dancer," you try setting it up, hoping some sort of confession will arise. Loki shook his head.
"Not the level of skill of his dancing, though it's truly subpar at best, but... the fact that he was the one to hold you in his arms," he explained hesitantly but keeping eye contact. It's like he wanted to know what you were feeling at every moment. You inhaled sharply.
"And who else would hold me in their arms?" You ask, your voice no louder than a whisper. Loki slowly starts to lean in and you swear you can hear your heartbeat through your entire body.
"Me of course," he said, copying the whisper of your own voice. You let out a ragged breath as his nose nuzzled against yours and his eyes close.
"And why would you hold me in your arms?" Your voice was weak and rising in pitch. His eyes slowly open to look down at your lips. You keep your eyes on his expression. His hands slip out of yours and move around your waist to push your body flat against his own.
"Because you're mine," he hissed out. You let out a breathless laugh.
"I belong to no one," you reply. Now it was his turn to chuckle though it was much darker. His head bends to drag his nose against the length of your neck.
"Then I belong to you, it's no matter," he says. You bend your neck back to give him more room. He kisses your racing pulse sweetly.
"I own no one," you practically moan out. His lips trail up, pressing into your neck until he bites down on your ear.
"Let me give myself to you. Let me be yours. Use me as you please but do not deny that you love me almost as much as I love you," he whispers out smoothly. You choke out a gasp. His face moves away, only far enough to look down at you. "Can I kiss you, princess?" He asks, his face filled with an intensity that clouded your mind.
"Please-" you managed to get out before pulling on the back of his neck and meeting his lips in the middle.
Loki stood from his chair, cursing as the file cut off just as your lips met his. He missed kissing you. The familiar feeling of your lips, the hotness of your tongue. You were addicting. He could've spent all eternity kissing you and he wouldn't dare complain about not being able to breathe. There were many things Loki wanted to do with you for all eternity. He wanted everything with you.
The more he watched the more his hope dwindled. The hope of ever being able to see you again. According to this device, he already had an entire life. You had lived years while he seemed to be from the past or a past. He worried it would be unfair to change it all for you.
His eyes quickly fell onto the clip the device was going to play next and he heavily sunk back into the chair.
This was the first memory he didn't recognize. He noticed the familiar yellow glow of the cells on Asgard. His memory flashed with recognition. He was meant to go to Asgard and stand trial for what he did. He scoffed, his eyes growing wide. Odin put him in a cell?! That's preposterous! He quickly played the next clip.
You watched Loki pace his cell quietly. You looked around, amused. Furniture and books and food were placed all around the large box. He was also alone. Of course even as a prisoner, the prince of Asgard would not let go of pleasantries. Nor would Frigga allow him to.
You couldn't help but be amused. And a little hurt. Everything that happened. Everything that Loki did here on Asgard and then there on Earth. It was sickening. But you could also see a change in Loki. It made you wonder what happened all that time between when he fell off into space and when he showed up on Earth.
It made you worry. Loki was mischievous and chaotic. He wanted power and love. But he had never wanted to rule. He admitted that himself. So why did he show up on Earth and try to rule it? It made no sense. And when you saw him... he looked sickly.
He looked better now, you noted. Much better.
Finally gathering the courage, you walk up to his cell. You keep your steps silenced, but Loki still notices you. He stands up, looking alert and confused. You smirk, pulling a finger up to your lips, shushing him.
You bring your focus back on the guard. As the man looks down the hall you slip up behind him. Letting your magic glow in your hand, you sneak your hand against the bottom of the helmet. Sliding your hand quickly along the back of his head you surge your magic forward, managing control of him. He lets out a cry but then quiets. You move your commands through your magic and when it's done, you take your hand out.
With your lip curled up in distaste, you wipe your hand on your dress before turning to Loki who looked at you in surprise. You send him a wink before opening up his cell.
A relieved smile makes its way onto his face. He starts walking out of the cell as you walk into it. When you're in, the guard shuts the cell once again, as commanded. Loki's face falls.
"What's the meaning of this?" He asks with a scowl, his voice rasping. You raise a brow.
"What do you mean? Can't I visit my beloved in his cell?" You ask before looking around. "It's nice, I'll admit. A bit much for a prisoner but not enough for a Prince," you tease, making Loki growl.
"Help me escape this insufferable punishment. I don't belong here!" He shouts as he physically forces himself not to start pacing again. You tilt your head to the side.
"You don't? Did you not commit crimes not only against Asgard but Earth as well? Do you not know how the law works? If you want to be king so badly I'd believe that's an important aspect," you snap, though you pretend to remain genuinely puzzled. The anger in Loki's face falls away.
"It was just a bit of fun," he tries weakly, a faint smirk in his smile. Your features tightened.
"What were you thinking Loki? And where were you? Why did you not return to me?" You question, over and over. You had so many questions and so little time. He looks away from you, but not before you saw the pain flash across his face.
You rush over, placing your right hand on Loki's arm and the other on his cheek. You turn his head to look at you.
"Where did you end up after you fell?" You whisper, your heart squeezing in fear. You worry it did for good reason as pain and horror flush across Loki's features. His hands are quick to grab you.
"Some place horrible. Some place I never wanted you to be near. Near people I never wanted to see your face," he spoke, his voice trembling and his grip on you getting tighter.
"What did you do?" You ask, your own voice shaking. You didn't know what to think. He looked traumatized and his expressions were only getting worse by the minute. But as you ask your question his features tighten— harden. They block you off from his feelings and you hate it. You want to stop it but you don't know what to do.
"I made a deal. I made a deal to save you. And to save myself. I did what they wanted and in return they would do what I wanted. But I failed," he said, his voice trailing off as he looked away from you and into the abyss. His mind was moving through his own troubling thoughts.
"Do they know where you are?" You ask urgently. Loki nods. You feel your throat closing and you place a hand on your chest, desperate to start breathing. "Well then we have to get you out of here!" You shout. You don't wait for his response.
You turn around, making your move to signal the guard to let you out when Loki's hand grasps yours. You gasp as he tugs you back, forcing you to turn around and head toward him. With it all happening so fast, you close your eyes, ready to bump into his chest.
But instead, soft delicate lips fall on yours. That feeling. You moan, pressing yourself against him further. Your hand flies up to his hair, your fingers tugging through it before you use your grip on his head to push him further into you.
His tongue slicks out, meeting yours hesitantly. But you don't hesitate to open for him, letting him kiss you deeper. He takes that chance and you kiss him so long you almost forget what you were going to do. But when the sting of breathlessness hits you, you move back, inhaling deeply.
It's then your senses return to you. You furrow your brows and look at the pleasure etched into Loki's features.
"Why did you do that?" You ask softly, your hand playing with his hair. He grins.
"Because I haven't kissed you in so long, longer than you can imagine, and I've missed having the greatest pleasure in all the realms pressed against me," he says deeply. Once again all air leaves your lungs.
"That's not what I meant," you say, laughing breathlessly. The grin slips off his features as he looks down at you deeply.
"I may hate being in this cell. I may hate Odin for putting me here. But ultimately, for right now it is the safest place I can be." Your face falls, showing your worry and you once again move to hold him close. He accepts it with a smile, letting his arms wrap around you as he does. "Until a better option comes along of course," he adds, a smirk on his face as he tries to lighten the mood.
You laugh, allowing him to. You had many more questions and Loki had a lot more explaining. But for now, you just wanted to hold Loki and make sure he wasn't about to die any time soon.
"Well when that better option comes along, let me know about it all right?" You question, just to make sure. Loki's smirk widens.
"Of course, darling," he says amusedly yet you felt he was being genuine. And when he tugged you forward to burrow you in his arms, you allowed that too. Your face was flat against his chest and you hummed happily when his face dropped into your neck, his arms tightening around you.
"I love you," you whisper softly. You hadn't gotten to tell him before you lost him that first time. You wouldn't waste anymore time not letting him know, even if he already did. You feel him smile against your neck.
"And I love you. More than anything in all of the realms," he said back, the rasp in his voice absolutely toe-curling.
Tears streamed down Loki's face as he stood close to the screen. He didn't know when he had gotten up from the chair nor when he walked to close. But he got to see it. He got to see himself kiss you and it was almost like he could feel it himself. He remembered all the times he kissed you and he couldn't imagine it could get better than that.
Loki thought back on the clip. He had told you about Thanos. At least in part. Loki couldn't imagine himself lying to you. But as he looked back at the two figures hugging, he knew he would. To protect you, Loki would lie. He didn't know much how you knew and he didn't know if he ever would. He just hoped you were safe. It's always been his top goal.
He slowly walked back to the chair, not taking his eyes off the screen. If this was the last time he was able to see you, he would make it count.
But when his eyes fell back onto the device, he had to do a double-take. There you were. Whispering in Odin's ear. Loki was confused. Were you threatening him? About to stab him? Loki was very confused.
You hated Odin. With a fierceness. You hated him and what he did to Loki, what he's said and done to Loki as they grew up, how he treated them. Loki couldn't think of any scenario where you would even be within a foot of Odin. With a shake of his head and a deep inhale, he clicked the next clip.
You were suspicious. And devastated. But mostly suspicious. Your mind had been cloudy from hours of tears as Loki had supposedly died. Again. But as you and Thor both saw, he had died.
You didn't believe it at first. You argued with Thor for hours the minute Jane was back home and safe. Thor had to calm you down until you accepted it. Accepted it so much that you sobbed for twice as long as you had argued with Thor.
As you and Thor tried to manage your grieving, you turned to crying and food while Thor focused on traveling to other planets and helping fight. Help keep the realms in order. During that time you started to notice some weird things happening.
Specifically with Odin. He was acting... strange. You knew it couldn't have been from Loki's death. As much as you hated it, Odin didn't care enough.
But he started hanging around you more. He would walk by you, attend things he normally wouldn't, he would check in on you, ask you how you were feeling, ask how you were doing, how you were handling Loki's death. But perhaps the most weird, and uncomfortable, thing was that he kept touching you.
He would touch your arm as he asked you how you were faring. He would touch your back when asking how you were sleeping. He grabbed your hands when he asked how you were handling Loki's death.
It made you extremely uncomfortable. And also extremely suspicious. Odin didn't care about how you felt— especially not when it concerned Loki. And Odin hadn't ever gotten within two feet of you. Even when he first met you.
It was when Odin stopped himself from hugging you that your suspicions rose. The way his arms moved to hug you...
You had a theory. If you were right, you would rejoice before thoroughly kicking his ass. If you were wrong... that would make for an incredibly uncomfortable few thousand years as family.
You were hidden in the throne room until the doors opened and Odin walked in. You waited until he was seated and comfortable before you made you move and left your hiding place.
Slipping out into the room, you kept your steps silent as you walked up the steps. When you got to where Odin sat and he still hadn't seen you, you bent down to whisper in his ear.
"Hello, my prince," you whisper. A content sigh left Odin's mouth.
"Darling..." he trailed off moving his head to look at you before he did a double-take and pretended to look surprised.
"Prince? What are you calling me Prince for? I am a king!" Odin spoke gruffly. You rolled your eyes, moving to stand in front of him.
"You can't actually consider yourself a king. The first time was because Odin was sick and Thor was banished. And now you're pretending to be Odin. Why? You don't want to be king," you state strongly. Odin's brows furrow.
"How dare you insult me! I am a king. You don't get to tell me what I want, you child," Odin spoke harshly. It was almost convincing. But you saw the familiar way in which Loki would clench his jaw and you were suddenly more sure than ever.
You storm up to the throne, watching Odin shrink back against it. Another thing Odin wouldn't have done. You slap your hands on the arm rests of the throne and you lean down close to his face.
"Do not lie to me, my prince. I know it is you. I know you live and I know you're right in front of me," you say, keeping your voice strong.
"This is preposterous," Odin murmured, making you shake your head slowly.
"Show yourself, Loki. Show yourself to me or I swear on all above that I will find Thor on whatever planet he's currently fighting on and kiss him like you never existed," you threatened, though it was more empty than a plain basket.
But Loki took the bait. He growled out in rage as he stood up, his magic shimmering over his body until he was hovering over you. You smile up at him.
"Hello, dear," you say softly. Loki's features fall into shock.
"Wait-" he tries but you chuckle, interrupting him.
"I'm afraid it's too late now, my prince. You're alive," you say that last part in a whisper as you hold your left hand up to rest on his cheek. He immediately responds, leaning into your touch, his eyes fluttering closed, and sighing.
"You knew it was me?" He asked as he slowly opened his eyes once again. You brush your thumb over his cheek before letting your hand fall. You nod.
"It took a week or two but yes, Odin would never treat me as well as you did," you note, a grin on your face. Loki scowled.
"I could not treat you badly, despite pretending to be him. Speaking to you with such harshness was hard enough," Loki admitted, making you smile.
"I could tell," you say with a small laugh. Loki let's a soft smile fall on his face.
"You always could," he says.
"So..." you trail off, raising a single brow. "You faked your death again?" You mention pointedly. A sheepish smile breaks out on his face and he raises his arms to the side as he takes a step back from you.
"Is that not what I'm best at?" He asks, trying to joke around. And though you would've played into it, and frankly, wanted to, you couldn't. This was serious. You send him a look, making him drop his arms with a sigh.
"Why did you do it this time?" You question, a bit worried to hear his answer. He raises an arm to brush the hair away from his face, looking away before meeting your eye.
"It was best for everyone."
"Even me?" You ask, your voice clipped, interrupting him before he could say anything else. He looks away awkwardly. He shuffles closer to you before he looks up.
"I was going to tell you," he explains quietly, his voice softer than before.
"When?" You ask, getting tired of having no real answers. Loki's features fall into heart-stopping worry as he steps closer, lifting his hands to rest on your arms. You allow him to pull you close.
"When I knew it was safe. You know of my many enemies."
"You still could have told me!" You argue. Now it was Loki's turn to send you a look. You huff in response.
"I think it would've been suspicious across all the realms if you were suddenly nice to Odin," he explains, keeping that same look on his face. Your eyes widen as they trail off away from Loki. You look off to the side. Hard.
"You may have a point," you whisper, your cheeks twinging as you try and hold back a smile. But as you hear Loki chuckling, you can't help but let it break free, spreading across your face as you look back up at him.
"I know I do," he says proudly. So arrogantly you're almost forced to prove him wrong... when another peculiar thought hits you, making a crease form between your brows.
"How did you get Odin to go exactly? And um... where is he?" You ask almost hesitantly. You didn't like Odin and you knew Loki really didn't like Odin. Your hands began wringing as your mind takes you to certain possibilities.
Loki jerks you out of your thoughts as he smirks, raising his hands and allowing them to glow green.
"A little bit of magic did the trick," he replies cockily. You look down at his hands, still worried. Maybe even more so. If Loki did something to the king.... And the king found out... you shudder.
"You enchanted him?" Loki nods, his smirk widening.
"Enchanted him and sent him off to a nursing home on Midgard," he explains, sounding even more proud of himself. You yourself couldn't hold back the giant sigh of relief that escaped you. It was a lot better than what your mind was conjuring. You felt such relief it turned into a light chuckle.
"How long do you think this plan is going to last exactly?" You ponder. You watch as Loki sits back down on the throne with grace and beauty. He gazes up at you and grins.
"Until it doesn't," he states simply.
You nod, looking away from him as your mind works through its constantly rushing thoughts. To everyone else, Loki was Odin. He was technically king. He could call all the shots. Make all the rules. Give any decrees he chooses. The only one who knew the truth was you. You knew Odin wasn't one to change his mind but that doesn't mean he couldn't.
You glance at Loki and you see him watching you intently. You send him a small smile before looking away again out toward the rest of Asgard through a tall window.
Now there's Thor to think about. But he's gone. He won't notice anything as long as he's away. He'll be busy for a long time, you gather. He can't mess anything up, he can't deny anything, he can't stop anything. Right here and right now, Thor is powerless.
And that all but solidifies your plan. Your head snaps back over to look at Loki and you can't help but squeal. You rush towards his shocked face and quickly climb up in his lap. For the first time since you've known him, you heard a loud laugh escape him. As if he's no longer burdened by being scolded by Odin or overshadowed by Thor.
"Do you know what this means?" You ask excitedly. He raises a brow. You shift more comfortably in his lap.
"That I'm king of Asgard," he states. You nod in return, smiling wide.
"Exactly. You're king of Asgard. Do you know what you can do now?" You ask next, hoping he'll put all the pieces together. His brows furrow heavily as he looks around the empty throne room.
"Anything?" He checks, looking to you to make sure. You slap his chest lightly, too excited to sit still.
"Yes! You can do anything. Make any decree. Including... calling off my engagement to Thor," you explain, ending your explanation softly. Loki's face drops into a state of awe, wonder, and bewilderment. As if he couldn't believe this day was actually here. A wide smile was quick to take over his face. He lifts a hand to your cheek and you rest in it, smiling at him.
"Oh, my love," he says breathlessly, leaning in to kiss you. And your lips are right there to meet him in the middle.
Loki chuckled, not believing it himself. You were free of him. Of Thor. You hold no obligation to be his bride. He did it. He knew he did. Loki laughed again, he couldn't believe it! It finally happened. Something he had wanted his entire life... happened. And he never got to experience it.
Loki looked back to the screen. And he never would. Because a different version of him already did. Hopefully a better version. Because he only wanted the best for you. He wanted you to have everything you two wanted out of life.
Loki turned his attention back to the device and his heart dropped. There were only two clips left. One he was eager to watch, one was the end of everything. Your screams still echoed in his head.
Being found by Thanos was his greatest fear. At that point it was probably yours as well. A flash of you and Thor laying over his dead body, tears falling down your red cheeks popped into his mind. He shook his head. He didn't want to think of that. He wanted the happy stuff. The good things he had missed by using the tesseract to escape.
With a heavy sigh, he played the last happy clip.
Loki walked back into his and your chambers gurgling water. You wince. You hated the thought of what he had to do but some things just had to be done. It was agreed between you two and you gave him your permission so it really wasn't cheating per say. You know he didn't want to do it but that it would help you both.
Loki spit the water out the window he passed before sitting down next to you, looking at you with rumpled features. You frown, leaning in close to him.
"Are you alright? How was it?" You ask hesitantly. He sends you a hard look before actually answering.
"Well, he certainly enjoyed it," he grumbled. His expression was too much. So much that you just had to laugh. His head jerked over to you, his look accusatory as your cackling laughter rang out. After seeing his expression you start to sober up. It took a minute or five but you managed to calm down, all while he stared at you. Waiting.
"Oh, I'm sorry, my darling," you say softly.
"I have no idea why I was the one to do it," he mumbled, looking off to the side of you. You smile, taking your hand to his jaw and turning his attention back to you.
"You should feel flattered. Between the both of us he obviously thought your mouth was far more pretty," you say, teasing him a bit. The muscle in his jaw jumps before he rolls his eyes.
"No matter, what's done is done," he says stiffly. You straighten your back a bit as your hand tightens on his arm.
"And? Do we have his favor?" You question. A thoughtful expression passes over his eyes. He nods with a small 'mhm' escaping him.
"Yes. And I've already asked for our first favor," he says. Your eyes widen.
"Already?" You ask in surprise. He nods, looking at you with a soft and loving expression.
"Only if you say yes," he whispers. Your lips part as you suck in a breath of air. It couldn't be... he wasn't... was he? He had talked about it with you a dozen times but you couldn't be sure what he meant. Then a thought smacks you in the face.
"Wait. You asked for this right after you two were... finished?" You wonder, just making sure. Loki looks away as he nods and you're once again laughing loudly, the sound bouncing off the walls.
"Alright, alright," he sighs. You start giggling a bit but you focus all your attention on him.
"Ask me," you state. He meets your eye.
"Pardon?" You straighten.
"Ask me. Officially," you demand. Loki's expression becomes neutral as a very serious look spreads over his eyes. He turns his body to face you, his hands leaving his lap to hold your own. Nerves trickling up your senses, you bite your lip. He chuckles lowly, leaning over to tug it out from your teeth.
"None of that," he murmurs low. You laugh, a tightness in your chest. You couldn't believe this was finally happening. His green eyes meet yours and you remember the first time you ever saw them. Your feelings about them have never changed. "My love, my love, my love. I never thought I'd see the day. I always thought I'd lose you to Thor. But now..."
"Now you have me," you assure with a firm nod of your head. He smiles and nods in agreement.
"We have each other." You watch as his Adam's apple bobs before he clears his throat and you look up. "Darling, I want everything with you. I want everything you're willing to give me and I will keep it happily. We will live for thousands of years. But without you, those years don't seem worth living. I wish to be by your side always. I will fight with you, support you, kill any beast that dare threaten you. I am yours. Will you be mine? Will you marry me?" Loki finishes off, talking as though he has all the time in the world whilst you hold your breath. You let air back into your lungs once he stops talking.
You saw this coming but still you couldn't believe it. You never imagined being able to marry Loki— or anyone besides Thor. You thought you would be stuck for the rest of your life, being married to someone you thought of as a friend. You couldn't have guessed Loki would help get you out of it or that he would be secure enough to ask you to marry him. But he does and he did. He asked you to marry him. He wants to marry you. He's yours.
You were so caught up in your thoughts that you may have forgotten to answer. But when something squeezes your hands, your eyes focus back on Loki who's face had grown solem with worry.
"Well?" He asked, sounding hesitant. As if you could ever say no.
"Yes," you breathe out. "Of course I'll marry you," you say before leaping forward, throwing your body onto his, and kissing the daylights out of him. You hear him grunt as you make constant but he's quick to melt and kiss you back with twice as much vigor.
Loki watches through the quick planning that went into the wedding. He watched as you two worked together , using your magic, to make the room The Grandmaster had supplied you two with as beautiful as possible. A room mixed with white, green, your favorite color, and specks of gold. "Fit for a Queen" the Loki on the screen had said.
They made sure that according to the calendar it was a Friday. Or also known as Frigga's day. Loki had tears in his eyes as he watched you walk down the aisle to meet him at the altar. You looked gorgeous in the most perfect green dress. Your hair was lengthened by magic with decorative beads and all sorts woven into your hair. The crown you had been gifted as princess was on top of your head.
He noticed his own hair was decorated itself and if he looked closely, he saw himself wearing a small sign of Thor.
There was the drinking of honeyed mead. Loki's breath caught in his throat as the two of you exchanged swords. They were plain and held no significance but it was tradition. Loki's finger repeatedly brushed against his ring finger as he watched himself and you then exchange rings.
He cried during your vows, cursing the TVA and himself from keeping him from this life he should've lived. Did he not deserve it? Did he not deserve you? He shook his head, ridding such thoughts as he paid attention once more.
"I do," he hears himself say.
"I do," you then say after.
Then, he watches you kiss. And then the clip ends. Loki lets out a harsh breath and drops back into the chair. He hadn't even been aware he was standing up. His hands brush through his hair as his elbows fall onto his knees. He shakes his head slowly, tightening the grip on his hair.
Loki grows desperate. Desperate to see more of you. To see more of your life with him. To see you happy and in love. In love with him. He needed it.
But as he looked at the last clip, grief ripped through his heart. He couldn't watch that again. He couldn't let the last time he saw you be when he dies. He couldn't hear your gut wrenching screams, your raw begging, your threats of violence. He couldn't see the tears in your eyes or the fear in your features. He didn't want to remember you like that. He wanted the last time he saw you to be when you vowed yourself to him for eternity.
Sniffling, Loki wipes the tears away from his eyes. He clears his throat and looks back through the clips. He clicks on the one of the ball. The last one he actually remembers. He skips through the video and pauses it as you and him dance. He stands up from the chair carefully and walks to the screen. He lets his fingers brush lightly over it. Over your features. He had to memorize them.
He knew he could remove the filter of important moments and watch everything. Watch his entire life with you like he was begging himself to do. But it also hurt. It hurt to see you and not be near you. To hear you and not be able to talk back. He would rather leave his last memories of you be you vowing yourself to him and seeing you in his colors.
Loki's heart aches. Seeing all this... he knows he can never go back. Too much has happened. You've already lived. It would be selfish to go back and change that for you. If he even could. You've already had a life with him. One where he had finally gotten everything he ever wanted. But now, because of what he did, he won't ever get to experience that. But he wouldn't want to change that for you. He wouldn't want to ruin or change the good moments. He just wanted you to be happy.