Hana got out of her car, walking up the steps of Hisham and Ilham’s house and ringing the doorbell, a giddy feeling in the pit of her stomach. She had just come back from her interview, and it had gone wonderfully! They had told her that they had a few other candidates to interview, and would let her know by next month, but that she had a really good chance.
A nationwide newspaper was considering her!
Ahhhhh!
At first she had been nervous, of course who wouldn’t be?! But soon they started talking about her photography and her writing, and her position at the newspaper she was on now, and they had gotten along wonderfully. They had promised that if she did get the job, she wouldn’t have to move right away, that she could start from where she was and take her time looking for a place. She wondered how her parents were going to handle her having to go if she was hired InshaAllah.
“Amtu!” Layla exclaimed as she flung the door open, and Hana smiled, bending to kiss her niece on the head.
“Salaam habibti. How are you?”
“I’m good Alhamdulillah! Baba and Amu Houssam are waiting for you.” The little girl stretched out the ‘o’ in the word ‘you’, wiggling her eyebrows at her Aunt in a teasing way, and Hana groaned. That’s all she needed, was to be made fun of by a five year old.
“Thank you habibti. Where’s Mama?”
“She went with Hamoudi to visit Khaltu Yusra and the new baby. He’s so cute!” Layla squealed before scurrying away, and Hana shook her head with a smile before going towards the dining room. She could hear Houssam and Hisham talking, yet when she appeared in the doorway, they both stopped, and turned towards her.
“Salaam habibti.” Hisham said with a smile, and as she took a seat next to him, he patted her hand.
“Walaikumasalaam. Salaam Houssam.” She said quietly, and he flashed her a grin.
“Ahlan.”
“How was your interview?” Hisham asked, and Hana cleared her throat. She didn’t want to get anyone’s hopes up yet.
“It was okay Alhamdulillah.”
“You had an interview?” Houssam asked, frowning slightly, and Hana nodded.
“Yeah. Make Duaa InshaAllah things happen for the best.”
“Ameen.” Hisham and Houssam said in unison, and a brief silence fell over the table before Hisham cleared his throat.
“Alright. Bismillah. Let’s get this started.” He said in a professional tone, and Houssam rolled his eyes.
“Dramatic much Hisham? This isn’t a business meeting.” he said, and Hisham glared at him.
“Hey. We need to get this straightened out. Everyone is getting tired of your back and forth. We need to make a decision, whether you decide to get married or not.” He looked between the two of them. “Now I have gotten my dad’s permission to act as Wali in this situation, so Alhamdulillah everything decided today will be legit.”
Hana stifled a smile at her brother’s formal attitude. He was really taking this seriously, it was beginning to sound like some kind of courtroom drama.
“Alright boss. Lay it on us!” Houssam exclaimed, stretching towards his water glass, and Hisham cleared his throat.
“Well honestly, I think the first mistake, was that Houssam, you never approached me or my dad to officially ask to talk to Hana. So that’s probably where problems began. It wasn’t appropriate. There was no blessings!”
Houssam nodded.
“Point taken.”
“Secondly, the way you came together was also not exactly the best way. Granted none of us could have controlled what Layla said, though in retrospect Ilham and I shouldn’t have been talking in front of her. But still. Houssam, you shouldn’t have found out from her.” He turned towards Hana. “You should have stepped up to the plate.”
“Hey!” Hana protested. “He was semi engaged to my best friend at the time! It’s not like I could have said anything!”
“You had years to say something! And that’s another thing. Houssam, your affections transferred pretty quickly from Kalthoum to Hana. No wonder you were both apprehensive.”
Houssam eyed his friend suspiciously.
“Since when are you a shrink?”
“Be quiet. I’m trying to help!” Hisham exclaimed. “Now, I know you have been fighting a lot lately. It seems you can’t have a conversation without it ending in an argument.”
“That’s not true.” Houssam grumbled, and when Hisham raised an eyebrow skeptically, he sighed. “Fine. Maybe it’s kind of true.”
“Hana?” Hisham asked.
“It’s really true.” She said quietly, and her brother nodded.
“Before we get to that, can we explore why you both feel so insecure with this relationship?”
“Aw come on!” Houssam groaned. “We don’t need this Hisham! This isn’t Oprah!”
“Because he can be immature sometimes, and it scares me.” Hana piped up, and Houssam glared at her.
“What?”
Hana nodded.
“Yes. Sometimes I feel like I’m dealing with Dawud or Mohammad.”
“You’re comparing me to a child!?” Houssam demanded with a glower.
“Sometimes you act like it!”
“Okay, this is good. Houssam, what makes you feel uncertain?”
“When she tells me she likes me, then gets engaged to someone else when I’m gone!”
Hana groaned.
“You see! That is a perfect example! His automatic response was to act all childish and bring up something that I explained! For heaven’s sake we just went to the funeral yesterday!” she exclaimed throwing up her hands in exasperation.
“I understand why you did it! It’s just the fact that you didn’t tell me that bothers me.”
“Oh my God Houssam! I am not doing this again!” she exclaimed.
“And that just proves your first instinct is to argue.” Hisham said with a smile. “Houssam, why are you really feeling insecure?”
“Well,” he said running a hand through his tousled locks, “I’m scared that she is going to realize she can do better than me.”
Hana looked at him in astonishment.
“What?”
He nodded.
“Yeah. I mean look at everything that you’ve been through. You were injured in a car crash because of the paparazzi, you’ve had horrible things written about you and all because you were connected to me. If you marry me, our lives will forever be in the public eye, and I’m worried that you will come to your senses and not want to be with me.”
“So you’re trying to distance yourself?” Hisham asked.
“I didn’t know I was. But I guess on some level I am.”
“Alright I’m going to ask a simple question. Houssam, do you like Hana?”
Houssam’s ears reddened slightly.
“Yes.” He said, and Hana’s entire face flushed.
“Hana? Same question.”
“Of course I do. But,” she hesitated, and Hisham leaned forward.
“But what?”
“But I don’t think it’s enough just to like or love each other. Otherwise I think we would have been together a long time ago.”
“I agree.”
Both Hisham and Hana turned to look at Houssam in surprise.
“What?”
Houssam nodded.
“I see the marriage that you and Ilham have, and Amir and Yusra, and my parents. And while you do love each other, you also have this level of intimacy that goes beyond physical and emotional love and into a unity of the soul. And I think we still have a long ways to get there.”
“We didn’t get there right away. It took time!” Hisham exclaimed.
Both Hana and Houssam scoffed.
“Oh please Hisham! You and Ilham got engaged after your first meeting!”
“And don’t even get me started on how nauseating Yusra and Amir were and are!” Houssam added, and Hisham shifted uncomfortably.
“Well everyone is different!”
They sat for three hours talking everything out, pausing only to pray Isha and make some sandwiches. Finally, when it seemed they had been there forever, Hisham lightly tapped his fingers on the table.
“So what did we decide? You think you’re ready to get married?”
Houssam and Hana exchanged a glance, before Hana quickly looked away.
“Houssam?” Hisham asked, and Houssam hesitated before running a hand through his hair.
“No.”
“Hana?”
She shook her head, dabbing slightly at her eyes.
“No.”
It was quiet around the table, the echo of Hana’s last word hanging in the air before Hisham sighed.
“I’m going to be honest with you two. I think you are perfect for each other, and I know that you like each other. I just feel like right now, it might not be the wisest decision for you to get married. I know both of you well and I just think you need a little more time to find yourselves, and to, well,” he shrugged, “mature. So let’s not rule this off totally. Let’s just give you both some more time to figure things out. You never know what the future holds InshaAllah. Just keep making Du’aa.” He looked around the table. “Sound good?”
Houssam nodded.
“Yeah.”
“Okay.” Hana said in agreement.
It was quiet for another few seconds before Houssam stood up.
“Well thanks for the Dr. Phil session Hisham, but I should get going.” He punctuated his statement with a smile as if to soften his words, but Hana could see the flash in his eyes, and it made her heart hurt. “I promised Amir I would help him watch the babies so Yusra can rest.”
“How is she doing?” Hana asked, and Houssam smiled slightly.
“She’s good. Still extremely emotional, but Ayyoub is a very well behaved baby. He barely cries.”
“How is Kareem handling it?” Hisham asked with a smile.
“Well, he hasn’t tried to suffocate the baby like Yusra tried to do to me,” he said with a laugh, “but you can definitely tell he is getting jealous. Yusra tries to set aside an hour every day for the two of them, but you know he is just a baby, he doesn’t understand.”
“Tell Yusra if she needs me to ever take him, I will.” Hana said softly, and Houssam smiled at her.
“Thank you.” He turned towards Hisham. I’ll talk to you later InshaAllah.”
“Okay bro. Still on for basketball tomorrow?”
Houssam grinned.
“You wanna take me on!?”
“Oh I can take you!”
“Bro you don’t even lift!”
Hisham laughed, and Houssam turned towards Hana, his face softening.
“Take care Hana.”
She gave him a smile.
“Thank you. You too.”
“Come on, I’ll walk you out.” Hisham said, and once the two men had left, Hana stared across the room, trying to decide if she was going to cry or not. Sure it was disappointing, but at the same time, she felt sort of…relieved? She had been having serious doubts, and when she had been called for this interview, she had been freaking out, thinking that if she got it, she would have to feel guilty.
It was for the best.
Hopefully.
“You okay?”
Hana looked up as her brother came back in the room, and shrugged.
“Yeah I guess. You’re right, we do need more time apart.”
Hisham stood across from her.
“You got the job didn’t you?”
Hana smiled.
“I don’t know yet, but they said I am in the top contenders! They will let me know by next month.”
He frowned.
“I don’t want you to move.”
Hana laughed.
“Well it’s not for sure yet. Just make Duaa that whatever is best for me will not only happen, but that I will be able to accept it and be okay with it, even if it’s not what I wanted.”
“Ameen.”